Classic dirty jokes

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a. One day, I was riding my bicycle across Guanghua Bridge with a pretty female colleague from work. Because the bridge was quite steep, I reached out and pushed her from behind, but with a bit of force, I accidentally unhooked her bra...
b. One day, I was waiting for the bus with my female colleague. Because the sun was very strong, she was wearing a thin gauze skirt, which I found quite pleasing to the eye... She didn't know how to stand... so she changed her position from several angles... which made me even more pleased...
c. Once, I was sitting and operating a small computer when my female colleague was standing behind me, calling me for something. When I turned around, I kissed her breasts (it was summer, and they were quite large).
d. The girl across from me is huge. One day, the second button on her tight-fitting shirt was undone… She asked me, “Why are you staring at me?” I replied, “Your button is undone!”
Girl A was the class beauty, admired by many boys. Boy B, being a busybody, took advantage of a break between classes and carved the words "I love you" on Girl A's desk. Girl A was furious, but the words were indelible. Everyone praised Boy B for his audacity. However, the next day, when Girl A left her seat, everyone surrounded her and was astonished. It turned out that four more words had been carved after the initial three: "Snow in the North."
In junior high, a boy wanted to copy a girl's homework. Afraid that she wouldn't agree, he rummaged through her bag after she left the classroom. He found a sanitary napkin and exclaimed in surprise, "Wow! What a huge Band-Aid!"
Once, my boss at work said he wanted to perform playing the flute, but he didn't have a membrane. One of our bravest colleagues gave him a piece of birth control film, haha, it dissolved as soon as it touched saliva. The boss said, "Damn, even flute membranes are fake. And it tastes weird." We all went to the bathroom and laughed ourselves silly.
I remember a little girl in kindergarten asking me, "Why do you cover your genitals with both hands when you pee?" I told her it was to hold onto her genitals. She then asked what a genital was, so I showed her. She asked why she didn't have one. I didn't believe her, so I pulled down her pants and searched for a long time. Finally, I concluded that she was a monster. I ran to tell the teacher, and she burst out laughing. Hehe.
Xiao Zhu and his girlfriend went for a drive in his new car, a sleek sports car with a narrow cabin.
He parked his car on the quiet side of the road, and after a while of caressing her, the girl shyly jumped out of the car and ran to a nearby lawn.
But when she realized that Xiao Zhu hadn't followed, she couldn't help but scold him playfully, "Get off the bus before my enthusiasm fades!"
After struggling for a while, Xiao Zhu said dejectedly, "I can't get off the bus until my enthusiasm fades."
A: I'd go through fire and water for my brothers!
b: But I'd stab my brothers in the back for a woman.
Ah Rong: "What should I do? My mom doesn't like any of the girlfriends I bring home..."
Afeng: "It's simple. Just find someone who's just like your mother in every way."
Ah Rong: "I tried it, but my dad didn't like it."
On New Year's Eve, the husband told his wife, "In the past, when we made love, you would scream 'I'm going to die' every time you reached climax. Tomorrow is the first day of the new year, and everyone avoids saying the word 'die,' so don't say anything. Remember that."
The wife agreed, and the next day during intercourse, she reached orgasm and cried out as usual. The husband scolded her for breaking the taboo, but the wife said, "It doesn't matter. Dying like this is worth dying for even a year."
When a man and woman talk about...
Woman: No, if you don't wear a condom, I'm not going to do it with you.
Man: But the feeling is so much different when I use a condom!
Woman: Is your feeling more important, or my health? What if I get pregnant? You just do it, I feel so disgusted.
Man: Anyway, I'll wear a condom as you ask, okay?
Woman: I think this is the safest way to make dumplings.
Eddie became infatuated with a beautiful and sexy colleague and repeatedly suggested having sex, but she always refused, making excuses that she was on dates with other people. One day, Eddie was burning with desire and could no longer contain himself. He said to her, "I'll give you $100 if you agree to have sex..."
She stared at him and said, "No." Eddie said, "I'll be quick. I'll throw the money on the floor, and you bend down to pick it up. I'll finish while you're picking it up."
She thought for a moment and said she needed to discuss it with her boyfriend. With that, she took out her phone and called him, explaining Eddie's suggestion and asking for his opinion. Her boyfriend said, "Ask him for $200. Pick up the money as quickly as possible; I bet he hasn't even had time to take his shorts off yet."
She agreed and accepted the suggestion. Half an hour passed, and her boyfriend was still waiting for her call. Finally, after about 45 minutes, he called anxiously, asking what was wrong...?
His girlfriend, panting heavily, answered haltingly, "That bastard... he... he... he threw... all those coins!"

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Classic dirty jokes

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