Classic corny jokes, take a look.

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-26

1. This morning, a mouse wandered into a flower shop and was chased by a cat. Finding no way to escape, the mouse grabbed a rose to fight back. The cat saw this and immediately lowered its head in shame, saying: You rascal, that was too sudden!
Comment: Is this cat secretly in love with a mouse? Wow, it's actually possible for a cat to fall in love with a mouse.
2. A man was constipated in a public restroom when he saw another man rush in, quickly urinating profusely. The man exclaimed, "Dude, I really envy you, you were so fast!" The other man replied, "Envy what? I didn't even take my pants off!"
Comment: Speechless. This guy is really tragic. He pooped in his pants.
3. A farmer carrying a load of manure was seen by a foreigner who asked, "Grandpa, how much is this sauce per pound?" The farmer remained silent. The foreigner dipped his finger in the sauce, put it in his mouth, and thought, "If you won't tell me how much it costs per pound, I won't tell you your sauce is rotten."
Comment: This foreigner probably has never seen someone carrying manure before, and that's how the misunderstanding and tragedy happened.
4. The turtle has a high alcohol tolerance, but he got drunk today. After sobering up, his friend asked, "How could you get drunk?" The turtle sighed, "Sigh! Last night, the octopus insisted on playing rock-paper-scissors with me. There were so many hands, I couldn't even keep up, and I lost terribly!"
Comment: The sea turtle proved with facts that having more hands can defeat having fewer hands.
5. Why isn't Panasonic as strong as Sony? Answer: Panasonic (afraid of Sony).
Comment: This English is amazing, Sonny. Wow, what a coincidence.
6. Which is taller, a or c? Answer: c is taller (because abcda is shorter than c).
Comment: Wow, that's impressive. It seems there really are people in the world whose observational skills rival Conan's.
7. Which flower is the weakest: jasmine, sunflower, or rose? Answer: Jasmine (What a weak [beautiful] jasmine!)
Comment: The homonym sounds like "tragedy," and the beautiful jasmine flower loses its power here.
8. What kind of line do gorillas hate the most? Answer: Parallel lines. Parallel lines never intersect (like bananas).
Comment: Sigh, but it's true, they really didn't intersect (the bananas).
9. What are cloth and paper afraid of? Answer: Cloth is afraid of ten thousand, paper is afraid of one in ten thousand. (Not afraid of ten thousand, but afraid of one in ten thousand)
Comment: Seriously, I'm impressed. Chinese homophones are really amazing.
10. What will a Qilin turn into if it flies to the North Pole? Answer: Ice cream. Reason: Ice cream (which sounds like "ice Qilin" in Chinese).
Comment: It seems the ice cream we usually eat really has a special origin.
11. Once upon a time, there were two snowmen. One snowman said, "I'm so cold." The other snowman said, "Me too." The other snowman then said, "Let's hug each other." So they hugged each other. Later, they froze to death.
Comment: It's so cold! By the way, why would someone freeze to death? A snowman should die from heat.
12. In summer, a giraffe met a rabbit. The giraffe proudly showed off her neck to the rabbit: "Ah, little rabbit, do you know how great it is to have a long neck? Do you know how tender and sweet the leaves on the highest leaves are? Do you know what it feels like to drink water in summer? The refreshing water slowly flows over your neck." The rabbit glanced at her and only said one sentence: "Have you ever tried vomiting?"
Comment: Ugh, it's true, it feels good to slowly wash your neck with refreshing water, but it's a tragedy when vomit slowly flows down your neck.
13. One day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope." Legend has it that if you stand at the edge of the valley and shout out what you want, then jump into the valley, you will receive a valley full of what you desire. So the three of them decided to give it a try.
The first one was a lecherous man, so he shouted "Women! Women!" and jumped down, and sure enough, a pit full of beautiful women was waiting for him.
The second one was a bookworm who shouted "Books, books, books, books!" and then jumped into the valley and got a valley full of books.
The third person was indecisive, constantly thinking and unable to decide what he truly loved. After an hour, he finally made up his mind, deciding that money was the most useful thing. So he walked towards the edge of the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone, cursed "Shit!" and lost his balance, falling down the valley.
Comment: I suddenly feel so tragic, because I'm also an indecisive person. This guy in the end is so tragic, the pit is full of shit, I can't take it anymore, it's hilarious.
14. A soldier asked his company commander: What should I do if I step on a landmine during combat? The company commander was furious: Damn it, what can you do? Pay for the damage yourself.
Comment: Speechless. This company commander is amazing. The question is, who's going to pay for this?
15. An elephant defecated in the middle of the road. An ant happened to be passing by, looked up at the misty peaks, and couldn't help but sing: "Yala Suo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!"
Comment: So that's how the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau came to be. I've learned something new.
16. If you're taking a dump by the railway and don't have any toilet paper, don't worry, the train will remind you: "Wipe, wipe, wipe!" If you're taking a dump by the river and don't have any toilet paper, don't worry, the frogs will tell you: "Scrape, scrape, scrape!"
Comment: Oh, I see. So that's how train whistles and frog croaks work.
17. One day, a house caught fire.
Both parents escaped, leaving only their son inside. The mother frantically shouted from outside:
"Son... what are you doing... the fire's started and you still won't come out..."
The son replied, "I'm putting on my socks..."
The mother said again, "Why are you wearing socks when there's a fire...?" Five minutes passed, and her son still hadn't come out...
The mother called out anxiously again, "Son, what are you doing? Come out quickly! There's a fire, and you're still inside..."
My son said, "I'm taking off my socks..."
Comment: Seriously, how come his son is still alive after all this time? Sigh, I'm so wicked to even think that.
18. When a woman applied for a job, the employer asked, "How many children do you have?"
She answered, "Five."
The boss asked, "What are their names?"
She answered, "Xiaoming, Xiaoming, Xiaoming, Xiaoming, Xiaoming." The boss asked, "They're all called Xiaoming, so what do you do when you call them to eat?"
She said, "That's simple, I just need to call Xiaoming, and they'll all come." The boss then asked, "But what if you only need to call a specific child?"
She said, "That's even simpler, I can just call him by his last name."
Comment: So convenient, but the problem is that five kids have five dads. Speechless. This woman is amazing, juggling five relationships at once.
19. Man: Marry me! I love you! I can't live without you! Woman: No, my mother will be unhappy. She'll say you're too spineless. Man: Oh, if you don't agree, I'll die in front of you! Saying that, he raised his pistol.
Woman: Please wait a moment, I'll go ask my mom.
Man: Hehe, I knew this trick would work.
Woman: My mom said I'm an adult now and can watch such bloody scenes.
male:……
Comment: What a terrifying mother! She's already an adult, wow. The man is speechless, and the woman is incredibly oblivious.
20. In Chinese class, the teacher wrote "soft" on the blackboard and asked everyone to pronounce it. The boys shouted in unison: "Riwan-soft". The teacher said: "The boys' pronunciation is not standard, please have the girls correct them." The girls shouted in unison: "Riwan ansoft". The class monitor corrected them and said: "Riwuwan soft". The teacher got impatient and sternly corrected them: "The correct pronunciation should be Riwuwan ansoft".

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Classic corny jokes, take a look.

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