The most powerful and most wish-fulfillment comment in history

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-30

1: My first date with my girlfriend was to see a movie.
My girlfriend said: Let's sit in the last row!
I said: I can't see clearly without my glasses...
Comment: Now she's his ex-girlfriend!
4: Once, a hot-blooded friend of mine got into a brawl and called for help. I, another friend, and his girlfriend went to his rescue.
When we arrived, the fight was over, and everyone was dispersing. My buddy had been hit on the head, his face covered in blood, but he was full of energy, declaring he was ready for another fight right away. Another buddy's girlfriend quickly grabbed some tissues and pressed them against his head. We hailed a taxi and rushed to the hospital. On the way, the tissues got soaked, but the bleeding wouldn't stop, and we were almost out. Then, the girlfriend mustered her courage, pulled out a packet of something—I forget what Sophie said—and said this stuff would definitely stop the bleeding. We immediately grabbed it and pressed it against my buddy's head.
And sure enough, the bleeding stopped... We repeatedly praised the woman's divine intervention... But my buddy's lips started turning purple, and his face turned ashen... We told the driver to speed up, and he said something that really woke us up: "That thing sucks blood incredibly well..."
Holy crap!
Later, at the hospital, I accompanied him to get his injection and chatted with the doctor about it. The doctor said that if they had changed another tablet, my brother would probably be dead... Ugh...
It seems men shouldn't use women's things.
Comment: A person almost lost their life because of a large Band-Aid...
5: There's a Japanese girl at our school.
Time: One day during class, which happened to be my period.
Location: Classroom
Under everyone's watchful eyes, she took out an ordinary tissue, reached inside her genital area, wiped herself, then pulled the blood-stained tissue out and continued listening to the lecture as if nothing had happened…
Comment: Minor injuries don't keep us off the front lines!
6. While traveling in Italy, I fainted in an art museum due to anemia. When I woke up, I was already in the hospital. According to the doctor's broken English, I learned, "You're pregnant!!" At the same time, the nurses around me were giving exaggerated blessings, and the air was filled with happiness… The problem is, I haven't been able to conceive for two years!!
Comment: Two years is a tight timeframe!
7: When I was in middle school, I never did my homework. One time the school was going to check. I had no choice but to copy other students' homework. I was going to hand it in at the office then; I lived at school. The teachers only went home once a week. Our Chinese teacher was 23 years old, a woman. She had just gotten married. Her husband came to visit her at school. He locked the door tightly in the middle of the day. I went to hand in my homework. Seeing the door closed, I assumed no one was home, so I kicked it open... To my surprise, the teacher and her husband were doing *that*. Our teacher was completely naked. I saw it all...
After that, during Chinese class, that teacher always seemed to notice how embarrassed I was.
Comment: Are you sure that's the teacher's husband?
8: When I was in college, a guy stormed into the dorm in a fit of rage. Everyone was staring at him when he suddenly yelled: "Who flushed my poop?!" I almost fell off my bunk.
Comment: Stay and grow chrysanthemums?
9: In college, a classmate of mine used steamed buns to reserve a seat in the morning, but the buns were eaten, and the seat was gone too...
Comment: In college, a classmate of mine asked his girlfriend to save him a seat in the morning, but she ended up sleeping with someone else, and the seat was gone...
10: I'm a girl. The other day I called my best friend's house. As soon as she answered, I yelled in a voice so sweet that even I couldn't stand it: You silly woman, I've missed you so much! Let's go shopping together tomorrow!
Then a baritone voice came through: Hahaha! Is that XX? She's not home, she's out! Oops, it's her husband! I felt embarrassed, exchanged a few pleasantries, and hung up.
I immediately called her cell phone, and after she answered, I repeated the same words in the same tone.
It was the baritone again: Hahahaha! It's XX, right? She went out! She didn't take her phone!
@#￥%……&￥……×……
Comment: Okay, now that it's confirmed, we can go.
12: I wasn't paying attention while washing the dishes and dropped one on the ground. Luckily, only a corner of it chipped off, leaving a small crack.
Then I continued washing the dishes. My right hand wasn't paying attention, and it slipped through the crack...it broke.
I thought to myself: Is it really that fast? My hand got cut. Then I tried it with my left hand, and it cut too.
I thought to myself: That's fast enough. If I used this bowl to eat, my mouth would be ruined, right? Then I got stupid and tried it with my mouth... and my lips got cut too...
Comment: You could use it as a urinal, give it a try.
14: How much did you spend on your girlfriend on Christmas Eve? Don't brag, just tell the truth! I spent 2,500 yuan! I bought her an Scat coat for 1,800 yuan! A bottle of Dior perfume for over 500 yuan, plus food, flowers, fireworks, and small gifts, totaling 2,500 yuan! What about you?

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The most powerful and most wish-fulfillment comment in history

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