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page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-02

Once, when I went to the restroom, there was a sign at the entrance that said "Cleaning in progress".
After waiting for more than ten minutes, a cleaner came over, picked up the sign, and muttered to himself, "So I forgot the sign here."
2. One day, my husband had a gathering with his comrades and texted me saying: Honey, it's so boring being with these bastards!
If you call me back, be gentle and I'll put it on speakerphone.
I happily called: Honey, why aren't you home yet?
All I heard my husband say was: "Isn't this annoying? Remember, in the future, you should meddle in what you should meddle in, and meddle less in what you shouldn't!"
Then the call ended... Holy crap... You can't do that to your wife...
3. One day I posted a Weibo post, and a man and a woman who were strangers were chatting happily in my Weibo comments.
We exchanged over 20 replies, and just as they were about to ask for each other's contact information, I deleted that Weibo post.
4. In a debate once, a boy was posing a question to a girl. When the boy had his last chance, he asked a rather pathetic question: "Where does the slogan 'One small step forward, one giant leap for civilization' appear?" Surprisingly, he silenced the entire debater.
5. Girlfriend: I'll ask you a question, and you can only answer with "I know" or "I don't know".
The boyfriend happily replied: Okay.
Girlfriend: Do you know how stupid you are?
male......
6. On the bus, I dropped two coins on the ground. Just as I was about to pick them up, the old man sitting next to me picked them up. I thought he would give them back to me, but to my surprise, he put them directly into his pocket!
I thought to myself, "The old man probably doesn't have money for the bus fare, so let's just forget about it..."
A moment later, the ticket seller came over, and I took out two more coins to hand to her.
The old man pulled four coins from his pocket and casually said, "I'll pay for this girl's fare too!"
Grandpa, am I supposed to thank you?!
7. I went to my friend's house to play. When we arrived at the entrance of his community, I saw a banner next to the gate that read "1,000 yuan reward for catching a thief". So I said, "Our community also has a banner, but the reward for catching a thief is only 500 yuan. Yours is more expensive."
My silly friend said something that made me see things clearly: "Then catch the thief and bring him to our neighborhood!"
8. As soon as I arrived at the workplace, I saw the old man at the gate smoking a cigar, so I joked with him: "Oh, a cigar? From Cuba?"
The old man said, "No, it's Old Zhang from the previous shift."
9. It was my sister's first time killing a fish, and she hesitated for a long time before she dared not do it.
After a while, when I went to check again, I saw her holding the fish in both hands and pressing it to the bottom of the water. I asked her what she was doing.
She said, "Wait until it drowns before killing it... drown it before killing it!"
10. I sat in the back of the car waiting for the exam. The examiner and the student (a beautiful woman, hereinafter referred to as the "beautiful woman") were in the front.
The pretty girl taking the exam saw a dog in front of her and panicked a little (normally, you would report such a situation).
The pretty girl said, "Reporting, dog, there's an examiner ahead." The examiner's expression at that moment... ...
11. A couple was getting married while diving. A woman attending the wedding exclaimed, "Diving is truly the best way to get married!"
Her husband asked, puzzled, "Why?" The woman replied, "This is to remind the newlyweds that from this moment on, they must learn to swallow their pride."
12. Let me tell you something from my university days. We went to the movies on the weekend...
It was incredibly crowded. When I left after the movie, it was so packed that a woman's foot got stepped on.
In a fit of anger, he cursed: "Damn it, who stepped on my pussy?"
13. At a social gathering, several men and women were chatting about the issue of secrecy.
The man said, "You women are all big mouths; not one of you can keep a secret."
One woman retorted, "Who said that? I can keep a secret. I haven't told anyone my age since I was 24, and it's been 7 years now, and no one knows my age..."
14. Today I rode the elevator with a colleague. As the elevator went up,
The colleague suddenly exclaimed, "Hahaha!"
Me: "What are you laughing at?"
He said, "I didn't laugh at anything, I just suddenly remembered a line from the movie 'Lost in Thailand' and found it funny."
I asked curiously, "Which sentence?"
He said, "There are two idiots in the elevator."
15. Yesterday I took my silly wife out to eat...
After we finished eating, I teased her and said, "You pay!"
My wife looked at me resentfully and said, "Brother-in-law, how could you do this! Be careful, or I'll go back and tell my sister you took me out to a hotel..."
Damn! I instantly became the center of attention. The aunties at the next table were looking at me like I was sleeping with their daughter... I quickly paid and dragged my wife away.
16. Today I went to the mall to buy children's clothes for my niece. In the maternity and baby store, I saw a beautiful mother holding her cute son.
Suddenly, I had a childlike impulse and made a funny face at him to make him happy. The child gave me a strange smile and then pulled his mother's collar open really wide.
So, in the instant we passed each other, I nodded to him knowingly: He's a promising young man.
17. Triplets Discuss Their Ambitions: A mother was pregnant with triplets… One day, the triplets were discussing what they wanted to do after they left home…
The eldest brother said: "After I go out, I want to be a scientist, invent many things, and benefit people."
The second son also said: "After I get out, I will be a doctor to heal all people and free them from the torment of disease."
The eldest and second eldest brothers asked the youngest brother... "Youngest brother, what are you going to do in the future?"
The third brother said, "I want to be a fisherman when I grow up..." The eldest and second eldest brothers scolded him, "We all want to do things that benefit society. But you want to be a fisherman."
The third brother said, "Every time a loach gets in, I can't catch it. So I want to be a fisherman and catch it..."
18. A foreigner was walking on a street in China and didn't pay attention to his footing, so he fell into a sewer without a manhole cover.
After climbing out, this man angrily exclaimed, "You Chinese are so terrible! In America, we put up a little red flag to warn everyone of any potentially dangerous place!"
The city management officer's one sentence left the foreigner speechless: "Didn't you see the red flag when you went through customs?!"
19. My boyfriend is away on a business trip today. He called me a few hours ago to let me know he was safe.
I'm bored right now, so I thought I'd tease my boyfriend.
I called his hotel room: "Hello sir, would you like any special services?" He said: "No, I already have them."
20. A boy said to his girlfriend, "I want to break up. I'm annoyed and I don't feel anything anymore."

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