Humorous remarks about men and women, very insightful.

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-02

1. Why is it illegal to cheat someone out of money, but not to cheat them out of feelings? Because feelings are worthless.

2. "What do you talk about when you're pursuing a girl?"

"Are you there? What are you doing? Have you eaten? Oh dear, I feel sorry for you, drink some hot water! Wear more clothes, come back quickly, it's cold outside! You're busy, sweet dreams, go to bed early!"

3. A woman's three-character mantra: More socializing, less staying home. Go out, you'll be a flower. Stay home, you'll become a mother. Less depression, indigestion. Find your best friends, praise each other. Get a beauty treatment, gossip. Go shopping, spend money. Less alcohol, more tea. Sleep more, spend money like crazy. Don't wait until your ears and eyes are failing, your clothes are fine, but your waist is like a shrimp. Your food is good, but you have no teeth. You have a lot of money, but you're bedridden. Your feelings are strong, but the feeling is bad. You're a good person, but you're like tofu dregs.

4. Men are natural hunters. Tens of thousands of years ago, they held their breath in the jungle, watching intently. When a wild beast suddenly leaped past, they would lash out with a spear. This gene, passed down to this day, still makes them instinctively notice "moving" objects and see them as prey, generating a possessive desire. This is why women's earrings, long hair, ponytails, skirts, and large breasts are so fascinating to men.

5. Don't try to reason with women. A creature that bleeds for seven days a month and doesn't die is already an extraordinary existence on this planet... Science proves: when women use their intuition, their imagination is second only to Van Gogh; when a woman catches someone cheating, her IQ is second only to Einstein; when a woman is heartbroken, her writing is second only to Mo Yan; when a woman is angry, her fighting power is second only to Ultraman; when a woman goes crazy, her danger is second only to a Tibetan Mastiff! Men, give up resisting! Women are not creatures to be trifled with. Compromise is the only way out!

6. For those who have insomnia, try the blinking method: after turning off the lights, stare at the ceiling and blink repeatedly until your eyelids are tired, then you can fall asleep peacefully. This is because the upper eyelid is controlled by the sleep center in the cerebral cortex, and eye fatigue naturally leads to mental fatigue. So, if someone winks at you, don't assume they're flirting; they might be trying to cure their insomnia, while you're just a ceiling in the room.

7. Three women are chatting.

Woman A says, "These days, it's increasingly difficult to tell if two women walking down the street are mother and daughter or sisters."

Woman B says, "These days, it's increasingly difficult to tell if a man and a woman walking down the street are lovers or lovers."

Woman C says, "These days, it's even harder to tell if two men walking down the street are brothers or lovers."

8. A boy is passionately professing his love to his girlfriend. She says, "I'll marry you if you agree to three conditions."

When asked about the first condition, she says, "I want to see your picture in the newspaper."

The boy says, "That's easy." He then pays to place a missing person ad with his photo in the newspaper, and that's it.

When asked about the second condition, she says, "I want to see you on TV."

The boy says, "That's a bit difficult, but not impossible." "After that, he waited outside the TV station every day, and acted as a bystander at a car accident scene, thus getting on camera and passing the test.

When asked about the third condition, his girlfriend said, 'I hope to see your picture on banknotes.'...

9.

A guy texted his girlfriend one day: 'Your hairstyle is different today.'

His girlfriend said: 'Oh, I got a perm.'

After a while, he replied: 'Ah! Is it serious?!'

10. Tonight it was my girlfriend's turn to cook. She brought

over a tray and said: 'Please pick what you want to eat. '

I saw four signs on the tray: Mushroom Stewed Chicken, Scallion Braised Pork Ribs, Tomato Beef Brisket, and Braised Beef. I said, 'Can I have all of them?'

My girlfriend said: 'Sure, but I'm afraid you can't finish them.'

I said: 'If I can't finish them, you won't give me pocket money!'

A little while later, my girlfriend brought over four bowls of Master Kong instant noodles. Holy crap..."

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