'Happy Paradise' - Humorous jokes about embarrassing things that happened in high school!

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The year I entered high school, a huge banner was posted at the school gate: "Students are not allowed to date, let alone sleep together. Anyone who violates this rule will be expelled from school!"
The next morning, a rumor circulated on campus: a bolt of lightning had shattered the banner at the school gate the previous night. The principal was furious and drowned his sorrows in alcohol, dying drunk on the street the following morning. Street workers found his body, found a coffin, and brought it back to the school, writing in his eulogy: "A respected teacher, upholding the moral integrity of his students. Yesterday morning, he died drunk on the street."
The old principal passed away, and a new one arrived shortly after. Upon taking office, the new principal changed the banner at the school gate: "Students are allowed to date, and are even encouraged to have sex." From then on, the school was never struck by lightning again. We always believed it was a sign of divine favor towards us students, but not long after, the God of Destiny revealed the truth in a single sentence.
"Seeking divine intervention" is a saying we heard from our rural friends. For generations, our ancestors were shamans. In the past, rural people were superstitious. If someone had an incurable disease and medical treatment failed, they would go to a shaman. The shaman would light some incense, boil some water, chant incantations, and spray the incantation on the patient—and that was it. If the patient recovered, it was a miracle from the merciful Bodhisattva Guanyin. If the patient died, it was simply the will of Heaven.
Getting back to the point, one evening, the eight of us in the dorm were talking about the lightning strike that day. Qiu Shenjun hummed in agreement and said, "What do you know? I did it all." The others naturally didn't believe him, so Qiu Shenjun displayed his supernatural powers, moving the table towards the aisle, placing several bowls of water, lighting three incense sticks, and beginning to chant incantations. We stared at him with wide-eyed disbelief. A short while later, Qiu Shenjun turned around and chuckled, "Actually, that's not the most important thing. The important thing is this." After saying that, he pulled a huge pile of drawings from his pocket. Upon closer inspection, we saw they were all ancient erotic paintings—eighteen ladies, phoenixes flying together, and so on—even Japanese AV posters were included.
After the God of Seeking Gods burned those things, dark clouds gathered in the sky, accompanied by loud rumbling. Soon after, thunder began to strike all over the world. We were all stunned by this astonishing scene. From then on, we held the God of Seeking Gods in high esteem and learned a trick: whenever we needed something, we would burn pictures of beautiful women for the heavens. This trick always worked. However, one day, Monkey Three intended to burn a picture of Brigitte Lin for the heavens, but instead burned a picture of Lydia Shum. That very night, he was struck by lightning and suffered severe burns, spending a full month in a hospital bed. There are many other stories about Monkey Three, but we'll leave that for later.
AK's denunciation meeting
I met Ak on my third day of school. He was fierce, belligerent, and had a violent temper; he always seemed to thrive on chaos. The first seven days of school were military training. While the other students behaved themselves, Ak was restless and agitated. One day, the instructor pulled down his pants and proceeded to harass him severely. After training that day, Ak bought some cooling balm, applied it to his genitals, and then grabbed a knife and stormed into the instructors' dormitory…
The next day when we woke up, the school gate was packed with ambulances. The instructors were covered in bruises, being carried onto stretchers one by one. The students who were lucky enough to witness the scene described AK with great enthusiasm. It is said that AK held a bottle of Tiger Balm in his left hand and a fruit knife in his right, and a group of instructors were beaten to a pulp, the air filled with the faint scent of Tiger Balm.
The school was shocked by the incident and immediately arrested AK. The cooling oil and fruit knife were handed over to the police as evidence. After arresting AK and learning what had happened, the police applied the cooling oil to AK's penis, examined it, and concluded that he had been humiliated, the circumstances were understandable, and this should not be repeated.
The police let him go, but the school wouldn't. The disciplinary office found a rope, hung him on the playground, and put a sign around his neck that read: "The consequences of fighting!" Passing students, filled with pity, readily offered to help, tossing one- or two-yuan notes in front of AK. Within days, the pile of change in front of AK was as high as a small mountain.
After AK had been hanging there for three days, we couldn't sit still any longer and asked the God of Destiny for help. That night, the God of Destiny invited us to the playground, where we collected the loose change in front of AK and filled several sacks. We then found a few local thugs and gave each of them a sack.
Late at night, we lay in bed while shouts echoed outside the school.
"AK is under our protection. If you don't let him go, we'll smash you with coins." Then came the sound of coins hitting glass, making a loud clattering noise.
“….”
The next day, the head of the teaching department, with a scarf wrapped around his neck, walked unsteadily to AK, bowed three times, and then personally untied the ropes binding AK.
AK: "Dean of Students, are you alright?"
Dean of Students: "I'm fine, I'm fine. How about you?"
ak: "It's okay, it's just that my penis feels a bit cold."
Are a woman's breasts round?
After military training, school officially started. The enigmatic nature of the God of Seeking God inspires awe, the ferocity of AK is chilling, and the obsession of the Hippo is utterly perplexing.
The hippopotamus firmly believes there is only one truth in the world: "Women's breasts are round." It's true that women's breasts are round, but he tells everyone he meets, "Do you believe it? Women's breasts are round." If someone says they believe it, he'll enthusiastically discuss with them how women's breasts became round and what their meaning is. If someone doesn't believe it, he'll go on to talk about everything from the creation myth of Pangu to the invasion of the Eight-Nation Alliance, explaining how women's breasts became round.
Because of Hippo's dedication, his mathematical foundation was exceptionally strong. Regarding geometry, especially the equation of a circle, while we racked our brains, praying and swearing to the gods to no avail, Hippo solved it in no time. Years later, I ran into Hippo; he was now a technician at a technology company. We talked about many things from high school, and finally, he changed the subject, still focusing on "circles." He said, "Women's breasts are round. Why are they round? This has puzzled me to this day, and it's also the driving force behind my pursuit of knowledge. Now I've made many discoveries, but none of them are what I want. What I want to know is, why are women's breasts round? See you next year."
One Thousand and One Nights of a Fangirl
Hua Chi's real name was Qing Buqing. In junior high school, she read a lot of books. From "Dream of the Red Chamber" to "The Carnal Prayer Mat," including "Jin Ping Mei," she read every book by Eileen Chang and Zhang Henshui, and thus became afflicted with a love sickness.
This man was incredibly handsome and charming, almost like a woman. When he first entered the dorm, AK's eyes widened, her mouth watering, and she nearly pounced on him. Due to AK's inappropriate behavior, the infatuated woman found the dorm too chaotic and moved out, renting a small room instead.
The first thing this lovesick boy did upon returning to school was to stand at the school gate with a bunch of white roses, approaching any elegant-looking girl he encountered. Because of his charming demeanor, quite a few naive girls fell for his charms.
In my second year of high school, the girl I was infatuated with had already hooked up with over a hundred girls at school, plus female teachers, girls from other schools, and girls from the community, making a total of one thousand and one.
But when he went for his last one, trouble struck. That day, he picked up a girl from junior high. But this girl wasn't ordinary; her boyfriend was a local thug. That night, while the infatuated man was enjoying himself with the junior high girl at the hotel, suddenly there were flashes of electricity and a lot of noise downstairs, with a group of people shouting and yelling.
"Which one is Qing Buqing? Cripple him for me."
"That guy who ran was barefoot!"
"Catch him!"
That night, the lovesick girl ran to a bridge over a stream, sighed deeply, and leaped off, drifting away with the current. Six months later, the long-lost lovesick girl returned, still dressed in white, her demeanor elegant. However, she no longer possessed her former infatuation; instead, a sense of melancholy had crept in.

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'Happy Paradise' - Humorous jokes about embarrassing things that happened in high school!

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