Young people, knowledge changes destiny

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-10

1. Children's Ideals
The Chinese teacher asked, "Xiao Wen, what do you want to be when you grow up?" Xiao Wen replied, "When I grow up, I'm going to be an official! Then I'll make tens of millions, and keep a mistress! I'll buy her all the good things in the world, and take her on vacations around the world in a small plane!" The teacher was shocked, so she casually asked a girl, "Um, Xiao Li, what do you want to be when you grow up?" The girl answered, "Xiao Wen's mistress."
2. No food unless you call out to it.
I had a crush on a girl throughout my school years, but I never had the courage to confess, let alone touch her. After graduation, she got married; her husband was my classmate. That afternoon, she was breastfeeding her baby, and I found a perfect excuse. I walked up to her, grabbed her breasts with both hands, and said to her baby, "Call me uncle, or you won't get any food!"
The joke about Li Yong laughing so hard he fell over in 3 Lucky 52
At the Lucky 52 live stream, a couple participated in a word guessing game, guessing the name of a food item. The wife acted out the name while the husband guessed. After the game started, the word "steamed bun" appeared on the screen. The wife began describing it: "White, round, and edible." The husband looked confused. The wife continued: "It's white and soft, you ate it last night." The husband, seemingly flustered, blurted out: "mimi!" Li Yong (a famous Chinese comedian) burst out laughing.
4. Knowledge changes destiny
A man went to a fortune teller. After examining his bones, face, and calculating his birth date and time, the fortune teller said, "You will fall in love at twenty, marry at twenty-five, have a child at thirty, and enjoy a life of wealth, peace, family happiness, and a worry-free old age." The man was initially surprised, then angry, and said, "I'm thirty-five years old, a PhD, single, and have never been in a relationship." Upon hearing this, the fortune teller pondered for a moment and then said, "Young man, knowledge changes destiny!"
5 Golf courses in Paradise
An elderly but still energetic golf enthusiast went to a wizard to ask if there were golf courses in Heaven. The wizard said he would check and give him an answer the next day. The next day, the old man returned. The wizard said, "I have received both good and bad news." The old man said, "Tell me the good news first." The wizard said, "There are very spacious golf courses in Heaven." "The courses are covered with lush green grass and equipped with the best equipment." The old man then asked, "Now tell me the bad news." The wizard said, "Your turn to tee off at ten o'clock next Sunday morning!"
6. One more bottle
A couple came out of the convenience store, each with a bottle of iced tea. The woman called out from behind, "Hey, what does 'buy one get one free' mean on this?" The man didn't turn around and said, "I don't know." Then, the woman casually threw the bottle cap on the ground. I saw this, and after they walked away, I quickly ran to pick it up, blew on it, and held it up to the sun. I finally saw it clearly: four big characters: "Thank you for your tasting?"
7 dogs lost
I took the dog out for a walk this morning, and it ran away. I chased after it for a long time, but couldn't catch it. Suddenly, I realized I was lost. Just then, the phone rang at home. I hurriedly said, "The dog is lost!" My dad said, "The dog is back. Where are you?" I was stunned and said, "Then... I'm lost?"

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