I asked you to carry the shopping bag.

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-26

1. My son is eleven years old. One day he asked me for five yuan, and I didn't give it to him. He didn't say anything. That night, he went to bed early. After seeing him asleep, my wife and I had sex. Halfway through, he suddenly got up, pulled off our blanket, and laughed. That's when I caught him. I told him to give me ten yuan, or I'd tell everyone tomorrow.

2. My neighbor had sex, and the woman screamed all night. The next day, I ran into the man: "Brother, you're amazing!" The man: "No problem!" My wife ran into the woman: "You had a blast last night!" The woman: "Bullshit! That bastard watched horror movies all night, scared the hell out of me!"

3. It's been a long time since we've had sex. Last night, my husband proudly held up three fingers. I looked at him with shining eyes and said: "Does that mean we're having sex three times tonight?" Husband: "Wrong, tonight it's three fingers." Me: Go to hell next door!

4. My wife has a habit of always making use of anything given to her by others, without delay or waste. For example, last month she won a bottle of vinegar that was about to expire in a supermarket raffle. As a result, we ate dumplings for more than a week until the vinegar bottle was empty. Today at noon, my wife came home and held up a bag in her hand, saying: Honey, look, the neighborhood committee delivered something today. My heart skipped a beat: What are they up to now? I took the bag, opened it, and immediately fainted: Damn, half a dozen BYTs!

5. One day, after having sex with my wife, she noticed I had pierced ears and excitedly took out an earring from her bag to put it on me. I said I hadn't worn one in years and it was probably too big to be completely closed up, plus the hole was too small and hers was too thick. My silly wife smiled slyly and said, "It's okay, I'll be gentle, it won't hurt. I'll be very gentle." Then she asked, "Do you remember what she said?" I was completely dumbfounded.

6. A colleague of mine, who lived in a dormitory, brought his girlfriend to the dorm one day. Seeing no one was there, they got all lovey-dovey, making all sorts of noises, and of course, they... well, that wasn't the climax. The climax was when they finished and were resting on the bed, and from the corner of the bed came a voice: "Oh my god, you guys are finally done! I was so afraid to even breathe loudly!" They were left speechless.

7. My husband said to me: "Honey, you know what? When God created women, he put an abalone down there." I smiled shyly, and my husband continued: "Oh, I wonder why God put a black abalone in for you." Me: You think you know so much?

8. Lying in bed at night, I was flirting with my husband and said, "Honey, what do you love about me?" My husband groped me and said, "I love you in three ways: this, this, and of course, this."

9. One day, I was waiting for the bus and saw two dogs having sex. Just then, some idiot came along, kicked them apart, and walked away arrogantly. I heard a guy next to me speaking with a Sichuan accent: "Damn it! How would you feel if someone kicked your ass while you were doing that?!" Everyone around burst out laughing.

10. I'm 32D, and I get tired easily walking. One day, I was carrying shopping bags and complained to my husband, "They're so heavy, honey, can you help me carry them?" My husband smiled and came over, holding my breasts, and said, "This kind of physical work is my job." Me: You motherfucker, I asked you to carry the shopping bag.

11. My husband was away on a business trip for two months and I hadn't seen him. When he came home at night, I said to him, "Long time no see!" Husband: "Yeah, you missed me so much." Me: "What nonsense are you talking about? I was talking to my little pecker." (While saying this

, I touched my pecker.) 12. I bought a bottle of bleach. My husband pretended to be innocent and said to me, "Wife, what is bleach for?" Me: You motherfucker, it's just for bleaching. Husband: "Oh, then let's use it to bleach you, bleach you into a pinkish-white vulva, I like that." Me: Go to hell.

13. Yesterday afternoon, I was waiting for someone in the car when a young couple walked by. The girl said, "I'm hungry." The guy replied, "What time is it and you're already hungry?!" The girl got upset and said loudly, "You've been sleeping with me for three years, and you don't let me eat my fill at night, and you don't let me eat my fill during the day either? Girl, you've really suffered."

14. I used to go to hotels with my girlfriend. She was shy at night and would take off her clothes under the covers. Now when we go to a hotel, they just walk in, strip naked, crawl under the covers, and yell, "Come in, come in!"

15. Husband: Honey, what if I have a mistress? Wife: No problem, I'll treat her to my best chicken stew with mushrooms! Husband: Honey, you're so understanding and reasonable, you're so good to me... Wife: Good at what? The chicken will be yours...

URL 1:https://www.sexlove5.com/htmlBlog/216762.html

URL 2:/Blog.aspx?id=216762&aspx=1

Last access time:

Previous Page : got in the car

Next Page : Miss Thirty-Five and Miss Thirty-Six

增加

comment Open a new window to view comments

Contact Information

I asked you to carry the shopping bag.

comment Open a new window to view comments