Hey Xiaoming, get the hell out of here! Season 2

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-30

1. Teacher: If it takes one minute to steam one bun, how long will it take to steam nine buns?
Xiaoming: Nine minutes?
Teacher: Are you stupid?! Do you steam buns one by one at a time?!
Xiao Ming disagreed: "Then let me ask you, if it takes one minute to eat one steamed bun, what about eating ten steamed buns?"
Teacher: Ten minutes! Do you think I'm as stupid as you?!
Xiao Ming: I can eat ten steamed buns in ten minutes! You'll stuff yourself to death, you glutton!
Teacher: ...Get out.
2. In Chinese class, the teacher said: Zhuge Liang was knowledgeable in astronomy and geography, proficient in Qimen Dunjia and Bagua, and had read countless books.
Xiaoming: Teacher, there's a book he definitely hasn't read!
Teacher: Oh, tell me what book it is?
Xiao Ming: Romance of the Three Kingdoms!
Teacher: Get out…
3. Xiaoming: Teacher, I will never make you angry again.
Teacher: That's what a good child looks like. Sit down and listen to the lesson. Everyone, turn to page 16. Today we're going to talk about alpacas.
Xiao Ming: Huh, damn it.
Teacher: Get out again...
4. One day, a teacher asked his students: "Is there anyone who wants to be a teacher when they grow up?"
Xiaoming was the only one in the class who didn't raise his hand.
The teacher called him up and asked, "Xiaoming, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Xiao Ming said timidly, "Teacher, I want...I want to be the principal!"
The teacher was taken aback and said, "You wish! Get out!"
5. Teacher: You have ten candies, I ate five, how many candies are left?
Xiaoming: Five
Teacher: Shall I eat two more?
Xiaoming: You fucking try eating another one!
Teacher: Get out!
6. Teacher: Please be quiet, class will begin. Who can imitate an animal's sound?
Xiaoming: Please be quiet, class is about to begin.
Teacher: Get out!
7. Teacher: "Xiaoli, Xiaoming, tell me about your feelings about university."
Xiaoli: "College life is great!"
Xiao Ming: "College student, you're really good at this."
Teacher: "...Get out!"
8. The political teacher was talking about the relationship between money and life on the podium, and finally asked, "If you had money, what would you want to change?"
Xiao Ming: "If I had money, would I be here listening to your nonsense!"
Teacher: "...Get out!"
9. In Chinese class, the teacher said: Xiaoming, please do a sentence imitation exercise for "If every drop of water can represent a blessing, then I will give you an ocean!"
Xiaoming: If every flower represents a blessing, then I will give you a wreath!
The whole class erupted in an instant!
Teacher: Get out, get out, get out right now!!
10. Teacher: "Xiaoming, what kind of job do you want to find in the future?"
Xiaoming: "High pay, low workload, and close to home!"
Teacher: "What kind of job is that?"
Xiaoming: "I can earn over 10,000 yuan a month by setting up a bowl stall at the entrance of the residential area!"
Teacher: "Get out."
11. Teacher: In Chinese characters, any character with the water radical (氵) must contain the water element, such as 江 (river), 河 (river), 湖 (lake), 海 (sea)...
Xiaoming: Desert
Teacher: Get out!
Xiaoming: I didn't see any water when I rolled it!
Teacher: Get out! Get out!
12. The teacher called on Xiaoming to answer a question in class, hoping to build his confidence.
Xiao Ming said timidly: "...Teacher, I...I don't know..."
The teacher then said: Can't you act like a man?
Xiao Ming seemed to be deep in thought... Finally, Xiao Ming slammed his fist on the table and roared, "I won't!"
Teacher: Get out of here!
13. Teacher: Xiaoming, what delicious food did you eat for your birthday yesterday?
Xiao Ming took out a toothpick and picked a piece of meat out from between his teeth, placing it in front of the teacher and saying, "Yesterday's meat has all been digested. This is from lunch today; it's very fresh. You should try it if you don't believe me..."
Teacher: Get out.
14. The teacher noticed that Xiaoming was always talking in class and said angrily, "Xiaoming, if you don't behave, I'll tell your father."
Xiao Ming said very calmly, "Teacher, actually I'm not satisfied with you either, but I've never told your father."
Teacher: Get out!
15. Teacher: Xiaoming, what do you think about cheating on exams?
Xiaoming: It's like your wife getting pregnant with another man's child. Technically, it's successful, but you don't advocate this kind of practice.
Teacher: What you said makes a lot of sense, but you get the hell out of here right now!
16. One day, the teacher held a joke-telling contest in class, and it was Xiaoming's turn.
Xiao Ming: "Not laughing is stupid."
The whole class paused for a second, then burst into laughter.
Teacher: "Haha, get out, haha..."
17. Teacher: Xiaoming, why haven't you been attending class these past few days?
Xiaoming: I went to the hospital to get my leg checked.
Teacher: What happened to your leg?
Xiaoming: What's so special about my legs? Go look at the nurse's legs.
Teacher: Get out!!!

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Hey Xiaoming, get the hell out of here! Season 2

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