The world's most subtle and risqué jokes can only be deciphered by top-tier experts.

page views:1 Publication date:2022-06-01

1. My roommate went out to celebrate his birthday with a girl, and when he came back that night, he cried and said, "I wasn't the one who blew out the candles the first time!"
A college student, after looking at the alumni directory's birthday list, asked: "Why are there so many people born in April? Is June a better time to be born?" ^_^
3. An alien was captured by the Chinese. People from Beijing said, "Let's send it to the Chinese Academy of Sciences for research." People from Shanghai said, "Let's put it on display at the zoo and sell it for high prices." People from Guangdong, their eyes lighting up, said, "Let's kill it and eat it raw!" At that moment, a male student from a certain department at the University of Science and Technology of China saw this and shouted…
4. A little bird wearing a bulletproof vest was happily dancing on a big tree. Just then, a hunter came! "Bang!" He shot and killed the little bird; the bullet hit the bird's heart.
Q: How could a bird wearing a bulletproof vest still get shot and killed while dancing?
5. A college student majoring in engineering was desperately craving fish but had no money, so he went to the market to buy a carp, only to be sold a ribbonfish instead...
6. In a certain area where family planning was being implemented, an elderly woman, wanting to prevent her daughters-in-law from getting IUDs, took their place. When she substituted for the fourth daughter-in-law, the doctor said, "Auntie, you've already had three IUDs; another one and you'll really be like an Audi!" When she substituted for the fifth daughter-in-law, the doctor said, "Auntie, you've already had four IUDs; another one and..."
7. One day, two parrots were sitting idly in a tree when they suddenly saw a wolf chasing a sheep below. At that moment, the female parrot said something to the male parrot, and unexpectedly, she was immediately raped.
8. There was a man whose voice was very high-pitched and feminine, so he couldn't find a wife and was very anxious. He went to the hospital for a checkup to see if he could change his voice. After the examination, the doctor said, "God's creation is always fair. The reason your vocal cords are high-pitched is because your penis is too thick and long. If you are willing to have a piece of your penis cut off, you will have a man's voice."
The man thought it wasn't worth it and decided against it. Later, he went swimming in the sea and suddenly noticed a shark swimming towards him. He shouted in panic:
"(Very high-pitched voice) Help! Help! (Very deep voice) A shark is coming!!"
9. Imagine: My name is Chuhe (锄禾), and your name is Dangwu (当午);
My name is Qingming, but yours is Hetu;
My name is Legend of Sword and Fairy, but yours is called The Legend of Heroes.
My name is Dynasty, but yours is Red Wine;
My name is Bent Bow, but yours is Great Eagle.
So: I am called Hematopoietic, but you are called (...).
My name is Chongyang, but yours is (...).
10. A woman kept wanting to get a facelift as she got older. After numerous facelifts, she ended up with two symmetrical moles on her forehead, one on each side, and then a beard grew on her chin…
11. Once upon a time, three bats went to a bar for drinks. The first bat said, "Boss, a glass of fresh blood, please." The other two saw this and said, "You're so old-fashioned, what era are you living in?" The second bat said, "Boss, a glass of lemon blood." The other two bats laughed and said, "Look at your taste." The third bat said, "Boss, a glass of boiled water, please."
12. One night, the guy wanted to treat the girl to a late-night snack, but she was busy, so she said, "Let's do it another day!"
13. A hospital. The doctors and nurses were all ugly. A patient went to have a tooth extracted, but bled to death...
14. Eric Tsang wanted to abandon his acting career and become a monk, so he went to a temple to ask the abbot to accept him. The abbot said he had to pass two tests, the first being to be a vegetarian for three months. After three months, Eric Tsang went to the abbot to ask for the second test. The abbot gave him a bell and told him to tie it to his penis, saying, "If you can see Ye Zimei's three points fully exposed without the bell ringing, I will accept you as my disciple." So he summoned Ye Zimei, and Eric Tsang's bell rang loudly. The abbot frowned and said, "You fail!" Eric Tsang was unconvinced: "I don't believe that all the monks in this temple can pass this test!" The abbot had no choice but to summon ten monks and have Ye Zimei expose her points again. Sure enough, only Eric Tsang's bell rang, so loudly that it fell to the ground. When Eric Tsang bent down to pick up the bell, the other ten bells rang...
15. Manager Huang and Miss B were having an affair. One day, Miss B gave Manager Huang a painting of two doves with a dead sheep underneath. Manager Huang's secretary couldn't understand it at all and handed it to the manager, who then burst out laughing...
16. Snow White taking off her clothes – Guess the name of a beverage.
17. Men's favorite day: January 31st; their least favorite day: December 1st.
1.mm's first time wasn't mine...
2. Late spring/early summer.../What month is June? That's right, it's graduation. Because "no one wants senior girls," they're rushing to find boyfriends/girlfriends, resulting in a lot of people being born in April...^o^
3. Oh my god, she's a virgin! (USTC motto: Never let a virgin leave the campus) / Shout: "We'll talk about it later!"
4. The little bird is doing a striptease.
5. Male: Because ribbonfish have teeth;
Woman: It's because ribbonfish are longer...
6. The five rings are from the Olympics...
7. Brother, my lower body is so itchy!
8. When he yelled the next sentence, the shark "helped" him cut off a piece...
9. Hematopoietic stem cell transplantation, wearing dogwood on Double Ninth Festival/climbing mountains on Double Ninth Festival
10. The woman pulled (。) (。) onto her head. As for her beard, I think everyone can guess what she pulled it up... you get the idea!
11: Tea bags (made by steeping used sanitary napkins in hot water)
12:gg thought mm said eating late-night snacks was boring, so he just said: "Fuck!"
13: The doctor and nurse were too ugly and hadn't done it in a long time. They got excited when they heard the patient groaning during a tooth extraction and kept pulling... So the poor patient...
Thinking in reverse: if the doctor or nurse were beautiful, the patient's blood would pool in the lower part of their body. But if the doctor or nurse were ugly, the blood would pool in the upper part of their body, causing them to bleed to death... If the doctor or nurse were too ugly, the patient would vomit blood and die (this is simple and clear...).
14: The monks inside are all homosexual; they all reacted when they saw Zeng's buttocks raised when he bent over...
15: Brother, the sheep below is so itchy it's killing me.
16: Sevenup (b)

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The world's most subtle and risqué jokes can only be deciphered by top-tier experts.

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