Eight most notorious adulterers in history

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1. At dinner just now, a guy was bragging about how his wife went to Chengdu on a business trip. When she got back, he checked her phone bill online and found that China Mobile hadn't charged any roaming fees. He was incredibly happy! He bragged about it in front of all of us, saying that they should definitely have charged roaming fees, but he talked to his wife on the phone every night for ten minutes or more, and in the end, he didn't get a single penny of roaming charges. He concluded that China Mobile is stupid. I ate my food silently, secretly amused—I don't know if China Mobile is stupid or not, the key question is: are you really sure your wife went to Chengdu?
Comment: There will always be a bunch of idiots in the world who believe their lovers would never cheat on them.
2. One morning on my way to work, I saw a woman board the bus with a child. The guy next to me immediately stood up and offered her his seat, which the woman accepted with great gratitude. After sitting down, she said thank you, "Thank you, you're such a good person! Here, touch my son's penis." My companions and I were utterly speechless. We thought, "This way of thanking someone is really something else, the first time we've ever seen anything like it!" The guy was very embarrassed and hesitated for a while, then he said something that almost made me spit out my drink! He said, "Really, there's no need to touch it, I have one, I have one."
Comment: You have a penis, but you don't have a penis. You need to apply for one.
3. My daughter is almost three years old, and she always pesters me to tell her a story before bed. I told her the story of Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf, because she's seen that cartoon before. So she said to me, "Daddy, you be Big Big Wolf, and I'll be Red Wolf, okay?" I said, "Okay!" Before I could finish the sentence, she slapped me hard across the face! She yelled at me, "Go catch some sheep!"
Comment: As expected, cartoons have corrupted children, leading to serious violent tendencies.
4. There was a playboy who, because he played too much, got his manhood sick. He saw several Western doctors, all of whom told him it was beyond repair and had to be removed. But the playboy couldn't bear to do that, so he went to see a traditional Chinese medicine doctor. The doctor examined him and said, "Although it's too late, well, it's okay!" "Really? But I've seen so many Western doctors who all said it absolutely had to be removed." The doctor said, "Sigh! That's how Western medicine is; they always want to cut things out. Take this bottle of medicine, apply it three times a day, and it won't be long before it falls off on its own!" Comment: Doctor, are you using some kind of corpse-dissolving powder?
5. I remember when I was little, my arms were notoriously muscular. In music class, my female classmate touched my arm under the desk and said, "Why is it so soft?" So I tensed my arm and said, "It's hard now!" Then I looked up and saw the music teacher's expression—it was indescribable. Back then, I didn't understand why, but now I do...
Comment: Haha, what a pretentious act. Looks like his brain wasn't as developed when he was all muscle.
6. Eight infamous adulterers in history: "Hoeing the fields at noon," "Hematopoietic stem cells," "Along the River During the Qingming Festival," "Bending the bow to shoot the eagle," "Compound Coral Grass," "Difference of squares formula," "Class monitor and academic representative," and one more—completely incomprehensible!!
Comment: The phrase "the incense burner emits purple smoke under the sun" has been omitted.

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Eight most notorious adulterers in history

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