Erotic Past

page views:1 Publication date:2023-05-21

These past few days ,
my mind has been quite unsettled, partly due to the loneliness of my girlfriend not being around, and partly due to endless sighs about the past. So, I'll write down a little of my story. My
first girlfriend... well, it's hard to say. There's the first one I liked, and the first one I held hands with, hugged, kissed, touched for the first time, and made love to
—I really don't know which one counts as the first. Let me think… My first girlfriend was from my own school. We met at a school event, and we
immediately felt a connection. I really liked her, and I could tell from her eyes that she liked me too. Four days after the event, I
finally received a text message from her asking me to do something for her. It was such a small thing that I can't even remember what it was now; it was just an
excuse . It was after that incident that we started seeing each other privately. The second time we met, somehow, we started talking about a classic horror movie.
Neither of us had seen it, which was a bit of a shame. So I said, "I'll borrow the movie, and we can watch it together," and she agreed. Unexpectedly, this led to
the initial success of my first relationship, but also foreshadowed its rapid failure later. Writing this, I realize that the environment is crucial for love and sex
. In a bustling city, no one is in the mood for sex, but with thick curtains drawn and dim lighting, it's much easier for that to happen. In
my dorm room, we were watching a horror movie, a classic Japanese horror film. We drew the curtains, turned off the lights, and sat side-by-side on the edge of the bed, our backs against a blanket,
so we were huddled together. The movie was supposed to be very scary, but I wasn't scared at all. I don't know if she was, but I gradually took
her hand. A girl's hand is indeed very soft, and I felt a surge of attraction. She didn't object, so I gradually put my arm around her shoulder, and we stayed like that
until the movie ended.

We stood up, and I don't know where I got the courage, but I gently pulled her into my arms and held her tightly. This was the first time I
had ever held a girl in my arms. Although I had seen many films, I didn't have any further thoughts at that moment. My only thought was to hold her tightly,
to hold my beloved girl, and never let go.

I don't know what she was thinking at the time. She must have been a little happy, because she hugged me back. But she was clearly conflicted; perhaps she didn't want things to
move so fast, and she seemed somewhat reluctant. She didn't say anything, only later telling me that she felt a little dizzy, and that the conflicting feelings
were definitely there. "Turn on the light," she whispered in my ear after what seemed like an eternity. A while later, I turned on the light. To this day, I
still think about whether I should have hugged her that day. I'd like to hear everyone's opinions and opinions. I hugged her
because of my feelings; I'm a sentimental person, and my hug wasn't frivolous, but rather a desire to love her wholeheartedly and take on the corresponding responsibility. I genuinely liked her. However,
I overlooked a girl's subtle psychology. Girls often like boys to value them, like them, and cherish them, but they don't want to have
intimate contact with boys too early. At the time, I didn't understand this psychology. I was indeed very good to her, and whenever I had the chance, I liked to hold her in my arms, enjoying the intimate
experience and feeling. From that day on, she felt conflicted. This was her first time having such contact with a boy, and she might have wondered if giving
herself to him so easily was too hasty. What could they possibly learn from each other in just a few days? Worse still, she quickly told her parents.
She came from a big city in the south, and her parents wanted her to go back home. They strongly disapproved of school romances, and since I came from a rural area, her
family was also strongly opposed.

I already had a bad feeling. Soon it was holiday time, and when I returned, she broke up with me. And so, this short-lived relationship
ended abruptly. It came quickly and went quickly, leaving nothing behind, not even a small souvenir, to the point that
I often doubted its existence. But I couldn't deceive myself; it truly existed, but like a drawing on the beach, the imprint was too faint, too shallow, washed away by the
tide without a trace. Really, nothing at all. The above seems like just an unsuccessful romance, unrelated to sex.
But like opening Pandora's box, although this story ended, so many other things happened afterward. I went from a pure young boy,
delving deeper and deeper, finally becoming a mature man.

Was it fate? The failure of my relationship left me feeling incredibly lost. When I'm busy, I might be able to forget about it, but once I have free time, I feel incredibly lonely, even to
the point of self-pity and wallowing in self-deprecation. The May Day holiday might have been a romantic long break for other couples, but for me, it was just endless loneliness. I went on QQ,
added friends, and chatted. I met a friend named Amico, who went to a private university. I think she wasn't particularly pretty, but we got along
quite well, even talking about sex. Perhaps it was because of my own sexual desire, but she was clearly very interested in it too. For example, she wanted to know what boys
think about when they take off their clothes before going to sleep, and what they do down there. I asked even more questions, like about menarche, periods, and sanitary napkins.
I hope you won't laugh at me for saying this; after all, it's normal for boys to be interested in these things. Around 10 pm, we started chatting and decided to meet up.
I should say my motives weren't pure. I didn't love her; I was just lonely and wanted to experience what it felt like to hug a girl. I longed for it. So we
agreed to meet at Beigongmen, and I took a taxi there. When I got out, I saw a little girl waiting for me. She looked quite chubby and not very pretty. I was a little disappointed;
I had always thought girls from Zhejiang would be prettier, but this was different. Luckily, it was nighttime, so I couldn't see clearly, which made me feel a little better. I stepped forward
and pulled her into my arms. She was clearly surprised and said, "Really?" but didn't object. I held her tightly.
I don't know how much time passed, but suddenly I felt a very strange sensation. I felt my lower body suddenly lose all feeling, no longer obeying my commands—
a complete numbness. My upper body—my mind—was also incredibly excited; an unprecedented pleasure filled my brain.

A surge of heat shot out from below me—it was a spurt, not a gush. The feeling was like the sense of conquest and explosive power a male lion experiences when it mounts a lioness .

I think I ejaculated about three times, and then some more gushed out. It took me a while to calm down.

This was my first ejaculation. I've never masturbated in my life, and I didn't even know what masturbation was. I thought playing with my penis was
masturbation . Without masturbation, I'd never ejaculated. I'd only experienced it in dreams—nocturnal emission, leakage without erection, so there was no feeling of ejaculation. Only this
time, for the first time, did I experience the feeling of ejaculation; this must be a man's orgasm. After the excitement subsided, I took her for a walk along the riverbank, then went home.
A few days later, we met again, and the same thing happened. This time, I wanted to kiss her (even though I had no experience), but she refused. She told me I only contacted her
because I was lonely, and she wanted to save her first kiss for someone she loved. I felt bored and ashamed of my own despicable behavior, so I quickly said goodbye. I
never contacted her again. Not long after, I met another online friend, a very tall girl (1.70 meters), slightly overweight, but well-proportioned, and her looks were very
average. Being from an ethnic minority group, I naturally had to be respectful, but I still managed to hug her while she was being weighed. But it wasn't right,
and she was still a little unhappy afterward (though she didn't say so at the time), so they stopped contacting each other. Now, everyone, pay attention, this is the important part… The reason I say
this is important is because I met a beautiful woman this time. I'm a lecherous person; I like beautiful women. I don't know if anyone else has similar preferences, but
that's how I am. I don't discriminate against or reject ugly women, but I absolutely admire and yearn for beautiful women—they're captivating!

Meeting a pretty girl online is definitely a rare and unusual experience. I've met so many online friends, and although I've never run away from them, I've been terrified
more than once or twice. Several times, I've regretted it deeply afterward. Why didn't I ask for their photos beforehand, or at least describe
them? "The internet is full of dinosaurs," as the old saying goes. Presumably, these pretty girls already have many suitors in real life, too busy to handle them all, so where would they find the energy to go online?
That's why we're doomed, meeting one dinosaur after another, going from hope to despair time and time again, plummeting from the peak to the bottom, only to narrowly escape death each time. But
this time , I was lucky. I actually met a pretty girl, and even luckier, I had a rose in my hand. We agreed to meet at 7 o'clock in the lecture hall.
She wasn't from Peking University; she was just temporarily staying there. On the way to the meeting, I passed a flower shop, and on a whim, I bought a single rose. Just
one, it's our first meeting, a small token of my affection, nothing too much, I thought.

Just after the clock struck nine, I noticed a pretty girl walking by. She was very tall, about 1.70 meters, with long, flowing hair. I'm not very good at describing girls'
looks wouldn't be considered stunningly beautiful, she was still quite striking. She had big eyes, a high nose, fair skin, and not a single freckle on her face. Surprisingly, she wasn't wearing
glasses, which was truly rare. She was wearing a plaid short-sleeved top—actually, it wasn't plaid, but rather vertical stripes of purple, red, and yellow. The top was a bit
tight, and given her excellent figure, it looked like it was about to burst open, though of course, nothing was showing.

She wore a beige pencil skirt, revealing her fair and shapely legs. Later I learned she weighed 102 pounds. I stared at her,
momentarily stunned, and after a long pause, I finally managed to say, "Who are you?" She nodded. So we strolled around campus. She seemed to have just broken up with her boyfriend, and we got along very well.
Of course, with such a beautiful woman by my side, there seemed to be no reason not to. We walked around until very late, having practically covered the entire campus, before reluctantly
parting ways . This time, I didn't offend her, because I didn't dare. Only once, while going uphill, did I hold her hand, but I quickly let go. The second
time we met, it was much more natural. We ate at that dumpling restaurant, and then I went to buy a pack of chewing gum. Why was I preparing? Hehe. Chewing
gum , we went to the lecture hall to watch a movie. According to my usual taste, this movie was a bit boring, but with a pretty girl by my side, I watched it attentively and found it
quite enjoyable. After the movie, where to go? "Let's go to Tsinghua University," I suggested. So I took her to Tsinghua University on my bike. She didn't put her arms around my waist, but held
onto the back of the bike; after all, we weren't lovers yet. But when we got on and off, her high, firm breasts kept brushing against my back, soft and elastic, making it
hard for me to resist. I still remember that feeling vividly to this day. And she didn't seem to shy away, so I realized she was interested in me.
I became bolder. After entering Tsinghua's west gate and getting off the bike, I put my arm around her shoulder, and she didn't pull away. Haha, I succeeded again! We
walked further in and came to an island surrounded by water. It was evening, and many elderly people were dancing. I put my arm around her slender waist and said, "Let's dance too."
Of course, we didn't dance, because all the dancers were elderly. But I held her tighter and turned her face towards me, embracing her tightly. She didn't
pull away, and I felt so good. Her figure was amazing; her high, firm breasts pressed tightly against my chest, making my heart flutter and making me lose control. This was
the best . I had hugged my ex-girlfriend before, but her figure was average, and it was winter, so she was wearing thick clothes and
we didn't experience much intimacy. But this time, I did. However, the lights were bright, and there were too many people around; it wasn't a romantic place. So I
suggested going to the lotus pond, probably the place where Zhu Ziqing wrote "Lotus Pond by Moonlight." I led her across the small bridge, through the lawn, and over the rocks to the edge of the pond.
The moonlight was soft, and the lotus leaves exuded the freshness of summer. There were no lights; on such a quiet night, what couldn't happen? In the distance
, there were scattered lights, as if someone was smoking, but I preferred to believe there was no one there. By a large rock, I held her tightly, and she
held me tighter. I lowered my head, and she tilted her head back; our lips met.

This was my first kiss. Although I'd never kissed before, I figured a kiss was basically lips touching lips and tongues entwined, so I did it. She responded
enthusiastically . What impressed me most about this kiss was the wonderful feeling of sucking on her tongue; it had a sweet taste. I don't know if anyone else
felt that way. My first kiss left me with very sweet memories. Afterwards, I told her it was my first kiss, and I think I said it with a blush and a bit of guilt, which she
didn't quite believe. Later, we walked back, and when we got tired, we rested in a pavilion halfway up the mountain. I straddled a bench, leaning against a pillar,
and she leaned against me. My hands started to wander. My hands went to her breasts, gradually slipping inside, first through her bra, and then I went inside to caress her breasts.
She closed her eyes, seemingly lost in the moment. I gently kissed her cheek. Her breasts were full and firm, truly alluring. She
was lost in the moment , and I was even more lost in the moment. "Let me see, okay?" I said. "Someone's..." She instinctively covered her chest. But I still lifted the back of her
clothes and started to unhook her bra. It was very difficult; I had never done this before and had no experience whatsoever. She didn't struggle and even
gave me a little help. Finally, it came off, and her fair breasts jumped out like a pair of little squirrels. I finally saw them. It was nighttime, so I
couldn't see clearly, but I noticed that her nipples were a bit large. Having grown accustomed to seeing men's small nipples, they certainly seemed large to me. After a quick glance, I covered them with my hands and
gently stroked them. I also tried to put my hand under her skirt, but she pushed it away. Just as I was lost in my own world of pleasure, two people walked by.
We were terrified, and I quickly covered myself with her clothes. After the two people left, she started to put on her clothes.

Her top was so tight it looked like it was about to burst; it was hard to even button it, but I finally managed to. After she got dressed, I took her home. A woman's
beauty is inversely proportional to her education, and this was clearly demonstrated in my girlfriend. She only had a high school diploma, while I had a bachelor's degree, and based on
my grades at the time, I could probably get a master's degree without taking the entrance exam, so the gap between us was huge. Realistically speaking, there was no future for us, and I knew that very well. So,
although we were quite close, I never said anything like "I love you." I liked her beauty, and she
was happy with me, that was all. She probably knew I lacked sincerity. Women, even if they're not very intelligent, can intuitively see that. So she
was reserved with me. We hugged and kissed, I took off her top and bra, and touched her breasts, but as soon as my hand moved down, she
would immediately stop me. I asked her if she was a virgin, but she didn't answer. Besides that, I didn't have any deeper contact with her, probably for two other reasons:
one, I didn't know how to flirt with women at that time, and I didn't know how to arouse her sexual interest; two, I was still a virgin, so I never thought about having
sex . Soon after, her sister came back and was very strict with her, and she probably felt guilty about what she had done, so she stopped talking to me. Later
, we met a few times online, and then we couldn't meet online anymore, and she didn't answer my calls. That's the end of
this interlude. I want to ask everyone to tell me, was what I did right or wrong? Was it immoral? Feel free to discuss it. You can criticize me! If the previous girls do
n't count as my girlfriends, then I'm about to have one. The day after I shared my first kiss with my PPMM (pretty girl), my first
girlfriend came to see me. Of course, she wasn't my girlfriend before she came, but she was when she left. Her online name was debeers, and she was
from another school. We shouldn't be considered online friends, because we didn't initially meet online. She was an online friend of my classmate's classmate. She
came to visit my classmate with my classmate's classmate and we bumped into each other by chance. At the time, I assumed she was my classmate's classmate's girlfriend, so I didn't pay much attention, though I thought she was quite
pretty . And to be honest, I thought she had a large bust. She seemed quite interested in me; she asked for my QQ number, but left after only a few words. I
didn't engage much because I believed in not taking advantage of a friend's wife. After she left, I told my classmate that the girl seemed nice, but he said she was just average, so I didn't
think much of it. But soon after, she started chatting with me on QQ. We talked a lot and got along quite well. She told me that the person (my classmate's classmate) wasn't her
boyfriend, and her cousin even told me she liked me. But to be honest, I wasn't very interested because I have high standards for a girlfriend. She
knew this too. We chatted on QQ like this, neither warmly nor coldly, until one evening, I said to her, "Come over the day after tomorrow morning." Of course, she knew
what I meant, but she readily agreed. I went to pick her up at the south gate, and my first impression was a little disappointing because she wasn't as pretty as
when . Even she herself said so. It seems that, at a certain stage, a girl's appearance may decline from its peak. I took her to
the dormitory. First, we played games together, but after a while, she didn't seem very interested.

I repeated my trick, gently placing my arm behind her back. Suddenly, she turned around and said, "Dare you kiss me?"... I was taken aback... Was it
really that easy? Why wouldn't I dare? Besides, I'd just learned how to kiss, so I immediately hugged her and started kissing. To be honest, kissing her
didn't feel as good as kissing my girlfriend the night before. Kissing that girlfriend was sweet, but with her, I didn't feel that way. The only difference was that this time it was in bed.
I pressed myself against her, caressing her breasts, and I could hear my own panting. We initially fell onto the edge of the bed, which was only a short distance from the bed, very
uncomfortable . Since I was on top of her, it took a lot of effort to get her head onto the pillow, so my body was completely on top of hers. Being on
top of a woman—isn't that every man's dream? I quickly removed her top, and her breasts were indeed large; I later learned they were a 34C.
The nipples were a dark red, far from the bright red I had imagined. Later still, I learned that this color was actually quite light—but that's another story
. Next, I started to take off her pants and underwear. She didn't object, only complaining, "You just tell me to take them off, why don't you take them off yourself?" Obeying, I
quickly took off my own clothes. Then I started to take off her pants and underwear. She obediently lifted her legs, letting me pull them down.
A shy expression appeared on her face. Finally, she was completely naked. This was the first time I had ever seen a girl's naked body. Thick pubic hair, below which was a groove, and inside was tender red
flesh. Although I had seen porn and pictures, seeing a real girl's naked body in front of me still felt quite novel. Truly, knowledge gained
from books ultimately superficial. I finally understood that pubic hair is on top, and the other organs are below; so this is what the labia look like. I thought her genitals looked
beautiful because in movies and pictures I'd seen them were all dark red, while hers was a lighter shade, a pale red. "Your genitals
look beautiful," I said. "I'd rather my penis looked better," she replied. I leaned down and pressed myself against her, and we hugged each other like that. I
tried to penetrate her, but she wouldn't let me, saying she was still a virgin, and I didn't know how to get in; I always felt mine was too short to reach.
Thinking back, I was still a virgin then, a complete novice when it came to sex. We just stayed there, naked, hugging each other, sometimes on top,
sometimes on top, chatting about our childhoods and things that interested us. A morning passed quickly. "Will you ignore me from now on
?" she asked softly. I said, "No, you're my girlfriend." Since I'd made her my girlfriend, I naturally had to treat her seriously.
My feelings were complicated. I liked her; I liked her a little when we first met, and I liked her even more during our conversations, but
that liking hadn't reached the level of love. Who would have thought things would develop so quickly? "What do you like about me?" she asked softly in my arms. "I..."
I couldn't answer. Indeed, I hadn't seriously considered this question before telling her I thought she was pretty. She cried. Because
there were many , she knew she wasn't pretty, and my words clearly indicated I didn't like her. But we were still together. She came over to me, then took off her clothes and hugged me
while we talked. I tried to penetrate her several times, but she didn't want to lose her virginity and always avoided me.

I always felt like I couldn't reach it, and later I asked someone online and found out: the woman's legs weren't even raised, so how could it penetrate? Knowing this, I asked
her to raise them a little, but she always said it hurt. So, although we were together like that, we never actually had sex. She was a virgin, and I was a virgin. However, one time,
she played with my penis, and I ejaculated. That's when I learned what masturbation was. Apparently, you have to hold your penis with your hand and stroke it until you ejaculate to count as masturbation. From then on, I learned
a new way to play. Later, we didn't always fool around at home; we started going out and traveling, leaving our footprints at many tourist attractions. It was because of
traveling together that our relationship evolved from simple sex to genuine liking, although not quite love yet. I clearly remember that time we were eating out, and I suggested ordering
more dishes. She disagreed, saying, "Save money for your husband." That shy yet joyful expression and tone are still deeply imprinted in my mind; I can't
forget it. That's how I got my first girlfriend.

I've always felt guilty towards Debeers; I feel like I've let her down. She treated me very well, like she owned me, but I always
felt a little disdainful. Do you all remember the first girl I mentioned? Ever since that girl failed, I vowed to find someone at my own school, or
maybe another, but she had to be absolutely stunning. This vow, like a venomous snake, has been constantly coiling around me. She knew about my wish, she
found out unintentionally through my classmate, but she still threw herself into my arms like a moth to a flame. My first hug, first kiss, first touch—all went to someone else.
It seems like I haven't had any first times, but in reality, I have many more, and almost all of them were with Debeers.

The first time I saw a girl's naked body, the first time I touched her genitals, the first time I masturbated, the first time I had genital contact, the first time I performed oral sex, the first time I performed anal sex…
Except for the first time I had intercourse, everything else was with her—debeers. Regarding sex, I believe everyone is filled with various longings
and confusions since adolescence, but most of these were answered with debeers. Every time I was with her, I was eager to penetrate her, but she was a virgin,
and I couldn't bear the weight of that responsibility for the rest of my life, so I was unwilling and afraid to penetrate her, and she didn't really want me to either. Of course, if I insisted, she wouldn't refuse, but I
wouldn't do that. So, in this situation, many alternative methods emerged, namely oral sex and anal sex. Getting a girl to perform oral sex on you, especially
a virgin , is not an easy thing. Most girls wouldn't be willing to perform oral sex, but seeing how uncomfortable I was, and after my repeated pleas, she finally agreed, but
only if I wore a condom (although I'd never had sex, I'd bought a box of condoms). She reluctantly performed the oral sex, and being inexperienced the first time, she didn't cover her teeth properly, and since her
teeth are quite sharp, she actually made a cut on my penis. But she was much more careful after that. Later, she became much more skilled and didn't ask me to wear a condom anymore.
I remember one time, she asked me to tell her when I was going to ejaculate, but I didn't. I ended up ejaculating in her mouth, straight down her throat, and she
immediately spat it out. I kept asking her what it tasted like, and she said it was salty and fishy. I said it tasted like fish, and afterwards, I would tease
her every time we ate, "Want some fish?" But honestly, oral sex doesn't feel good. Women have to constantly look up and down, which is exhausting, and I didn't feel
anything special about it. I've never found oral sex enjoyable. As for anal sex, many people think it's dirty and perverted, but we've had it a few times. It
was difficult to penetrate; the opening was too small, and I even bled several times. Later, I tried applying some cream, which made penetration easier.
Anal sex felt very tight, and I could ejaculate quickly. However, I later learned that anal sex and intercourse feel different. Anal sex mainly involves tighter muscles around the anus, while
intercourse involves two muscles surrounding the vaginal opening. Of course, intercourse feels better, a fact I only learned later. Debeers also had
some unsatisfactory aspects. She had a burn scar on her neck, not too big, not too small, and she seemed to have periodontal disease, resulting in bad breath. Even after brushing, her teeth
would to kiss her. I always found these two points unsatisfactory, but I never
mentioned them to her. This was probably why I chose to leave, but definitely not the main reason. The main reason was my desire, as mentioned before.
Several months later, I left her. I think if I had been with her, we definitely would have done it. My desire was still strong, but I lacked
the resolve to spend my life with her. How could I face her if I took her virginity? She cried, and I was speechless. My feelings were complicated. I felt sorry for her, and I
hated myself, but we still broke up.

Sometimes I think about it, and marriage really feels like too much of a burden; I find it hard to bear. But in my heart, there will always be a place for her. The
birthday present she gave me is still on my bookshelf, and I plan to keep it for a lifetime. Even though this might seem a bit hypocritical, what else can I do?
I'll do what I can. Debeers, my first girlfriend, and I was her first boyfriend. If she could see this and know that
she holds a place in my heart, perhaps she would find some solace. I've written so many stories, yet I haven't gotten to the main point, haven't had actual
sex yet. By strict standards, I'm still a virgin. Perhaps you're all getting impatient. Finally, the crucial moment has arrived. After Debeers, my
second girlfriend was named Ping'er. Ping'er was a year younger than me and went to a different school. I met her online a whole year ago. She
seemed very confident about her appearance, which piqued my interest.

However, after meeting her, I was very disappointed. The higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment. She wasn't exactly ugly, just not particularly pretty, below average. She
often asked me questions and asked me to help her with her homework, and that's how we became acquainted. She frequently came to visit me, so I started to harass her. She generally didn't refuse; she
didn't resist when I touched her breasts, but when I kissed her, she resisted. Haha, this resistance was utterly self-deception. Real resistance would involve
a desperate struggle, threatening to call for help, or at least a couple of slaps, but she merely tried to push me away. Who was I kidding? So I resorted to force. She kept her mouth closed,
so I stuck my tongue in. Finally, she opened her mouth and started kissing me back, hugging me tightly. There were some ups and downs, including the constant struggle between my guilt and my desire
. Finally, one day she said to me, "Will you be my boyfriend?" I hesitated. She continued, "You don't need to give anything,
just spend time with me when you're free, and you can leave anytime." I knew she wasn't a virgin anymore, so I didn't feel the same pressure as with Debeers, and I
said, "Okay." Ping'er had a pretty good figure; although she wasn't tall, only 1.60 meters, she had large, C-cup breasts that were very firm.
Although didn't get as fast as with Debeers, it was still quite quick. Before I knew it, it was time for my first time. I used a condom for my first time.
Normally, according to my usual thinking, a condom shouldn't be used the first time; the first time should leave a perfect impression. However, she wasn't a virgin, and
although hadn't been, I'd had countless experiences on the fringes, and she was afraid of getting pregnant, so she used a condom. It's more complicated if both partners are first-timers, but
things are easier once one has experience. Although she didn't guide me much, she was already very wet, so it was relatively easy for me to penetrate her.
This feeling was different from masturbation; it was unprecedented, and the feeling of being enveloped was truly comfortable. Some people say the first time feels wet and hot, maybe because they wore
a condom, so the feeling wasn't strong, but they felt it later. I just had a feeling of "going in," and wanted to keep going in, but when I reached
the end , I couldn't take it anymore, and a warm flow came out from my genitals. This feeling wasn't the ejaculation during orgasm, just the flow; the orgasm
feeling wasn't obvious. This is premature ejaculation, which is normal, and I went soft. Overall, I was a little disappointed with my first experience; it wasn't as wonderful as I had imagined.
My genitals as tight as I had imagined, and they weren't as wet and hot as I had imagined. Even so, I still ejaculated as soon as I penetrated. Is this what sex is?
I asked myself over and over again. Just now, zsuwhx asked me if I was very poor and why I didn't use Durex. It wasn't because I was poor, but because I didn't know. At that
time I hadn't been to this forum before, and I really knew nothing about condom brands. I bought "Manly," 12.5 yuan a box of 12. Of course, now I know
almost all the brands. Afterwards, Ping'er was worried it wasn't safe, so she asked me to buy her emergency contraception. Speaking of taking Yuting (a medication), let me elaborate a bit. The side effects of Yuting
vary from person to person. Ping'er was quite happy to take Yuting because she had a boyfriend. People around her had taken it without any problems. Ping'er took it
and experienced no effects either. Of course, I wouldn't let her take this medication like candy; she only took it once. What I'm saying is that
while it's best to avoid taking this medication if possible, it's not poisonous and generally won't cause any problems, as long as it's not taken twice within a menstrual cycle
. Sex, once you've had it the first time, becomes as simple as eating rice… That was true for Ping'er and me too. She would come to see me every few days, and we would watch
porn and make love. At first, I couldn't last long, but later it became more normal. We usually watched porn lying in bed, and gradually I
started to undress her, caress her, and then I would lie on top of her and kiss her passionately. She was quite sensitive to kisses on the chin; whenever I kissed her chin,
she would close her eyes, tilt her head back, and look completely absorbed. By then, she was soaking wet, and I was already rock hard
. She lifted her legs, and I thrust in. At first, I pumped slowly, then increased the frequency, and then changed positions. My favorite
was doggy style, because it felt like the deepest penetration and the greatest stimulation. However, precisely because it was the most stimulating, it was also easy
to ejaculate . During that time, we usually saw each other every 3 or 4 days, using 3 or 4 condoms each time—Durex brand, averaging 4 yuan each. So,
during that period, I usually didn't say how many times I did it, but rather how much money I spent. If I spent 16 yuan, that meant 4 times. Maybe people are more vigorous right
after ; I was very vigorous during that time. Besides sex, we also went out. My first girlfriend and I mainly spent time at tourist attractions, while with
Ping'er , we mostly shopped at malls, mostly just strolling around. But after shopping so much, we bought quite a few clothes. I spent some money during this time, and was a bit strapped for cash.
Ping'er was my second girlfriend, though at the time it felt like a secret affair. We had an on-and-off relationship, talked about breaking up several times, and finally, after 10 months, our
relationship ended. I'm no longer a virgin. Ping'er took my virginity, and during that time, I also had sex with my ex-girlfriend, Debeers
. That time, she insisted on seeing me, tricked me into going to her house, and then seduced me relentlessly. I finally couldn't resist. I went in, but because I hadn't even taken
my pants off, and because of my premature ejaculation, there was no penetration. I don't know if her hymen broke, but there was no bleeding. I asked her
if it hurt, and she said she didn't feel anything. Actually, if she hadn't seen me go in, she probably would have thought there was no penetration at all. But this didn't save our relationship.
We still broke up. From a purely technical standpoint, I think the difficulty of the first time is mainly due to not finding the right position and angle.
While a man's penis is said to be under his crotch, it's actually slightly forward (in a standing position), more accurately described as slightly forward and downward. A woman's vaginal opening, on the other hand, is directly beneath her body, and when lying down, it's
lower or closer to the bed. Men, based on their own anatomy, often mistakenly believe the vaginal opening is higher, leading to incorrect position and angle
. Therefore, the key is to keep going down, down, and down some more, applying force at an angle parallel to the bed and forward. Once you understand these two points, you'll generally succeed.

Based on this, if a woman can slightly raise and spread her legs, and engage in more foreplay and lubrication, she will be invincible. Sex is probably what
all my fellow erotic enthusiasts are most concerned about. But what truly entangles me is not sex, but emotion. Some forum members might say I'm desecrating this word and
despise me. While I don't despise myself, I certainly won't be proud of it either. In fact, in my interactions with them, the contradiction between love and sex has always tormented me.
Do I love them? Of course not, but feelings do exist, more for Debeer and less for Ping'er. So, can this liking be
a reason for sex? Without love, just liking, can we sleep together? These questions have been troubling me, and I still have no answers. I am a very lustful person,
ever since I was a child. I used to restrain myself, never even touching a girl's hand before the age of 23, but as I grew older, my sexual needs swelled
, and each act of restraint required greater effort. Finally, I lost control and broke free from my restraints. Perhaps, this loss was exactly what I
had been yearning for. But once that floodgate is opened, it can never be closed again. During my time with Ping'er, I was recommended for graduate studies at a certain university. In my writing,
I've always avoided mentioning the school's name because some people might make inappropriate associations. In reality, an individual is an individual and cannot represent the whole;
incomplete induction is meaningless. However, many Chinese people clearly lack this kind of logical thinking, leading to many erroneous conclusions. Okay, I
won't say more about that; let me talk about my own experience. This summer, I'm experiencing another relationship. The beginning of this relationship was still sex. By chance
, I met one of Ping'er's classmates. She was prettier than Ping'er, not very tall, less than 1.60 meters, maybe 1.59 meters, very pretty, and with a unique
charm. She was very cheerful and enthusiastic, perhaps possessing that fiery, spicy spirit. I don't know why Ping'er had such good intuition; after finishing her business,
she pulled me away, not letting me say another word to her. But what she didn't know was that despite her precautions, she still couldn't prevent a major fire from breaking out.
We met in a rented room. During the Mayday pornographic event, Ping'er's classmate was packing up to move. When she looked down, I saw
her breasts. Of course, I couldn't see the whole breast, just the upper edge and cleavage, but that was enough to make my mind wander. I don't know
if have had similar experiences, or if they all feel aroused, but I think it's probably like this. Actually, I wasn't a virgin before this; I had
seen the breasts of three girls completely. Oh, right, it should be four (because when I was a freshman, I went to a classmate's house, and she wasn't wearing a bra but had to bend over.
I saw them, and even her nipples. I don't know why, but the shape of her breasts was really not flattering, maybe
because she was too fat. This should be the first time). The feeling of accidentally seeing a girl's breasts (even just the upper edge) is really very strange. It's like a
magnet , attracting you to look, but you're afraid of being discovered, so you don't dare to look. A sense of curiosity and shyness intertwine, enough to make a boy's heart race
. I had a premonition that something would happen between us. Unexpectedly, it actually happened... Sex is like a floodgate; once opened,
it's hard to close it...
[The End]

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