The sexual happiness I want

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

I am just an ordinary woman, easily satisfied, living a simple life. I believe that love is everything, and I am grateful, still grateful. In a world where my husband loves me dearly, I enjoy life to the fullest. I have gained all the happiness I desire, which transforms into beautiful bubbles, infinitely alluring!

A few months ago, I stayed by the side of a friend who had recently broken up with her boyfriend, silently supporting her. I haven't experienced true heartbreak, so I can't truly understand the despair she felt after her breakup, indulging in unrestrained sexual activity with men. I only knew that anything I said at that time would only hurt her, because while she was in pain, I was possessing what she craved. Women are easily insecure, and women are even more prone to pride, because women are vain! She always asked me, "Are we proving our love with our bodies, or proving our bodies with our love?" This was a very complicated question for me, and I could only answer her, "As long as you're happy, it doesn't matter who's proving whom!"

Her name is Yunyun, two years younger than me. I've known her for almost two years. She's beautiful but proud; maybe all beautiful girls are proud. Back then, she said she wanted to have several relationships while she was young, while I blankly replied that I just wanted to find a stable place to settle down while I was young. I found my husband and happiness as I wished, but Yunyun's life became dissolute after her first man left her. She always said disdainfully, "Love is proven with the body." Looking at her, I felt heartbroken and wanted to cry. She often told me how many men were infatuated with her, how much she enjoyed that vanity and that thrilling pleasure. She took recklessly but forgot that she was also giving. In the eyes of many men, such a woman was just a plaything, and I knew that even my husband was tempted by her beautiful face and voluptuous figure.

People are always like this; they want to possess anything that doesn't belong to them.

Although my husband had never mentioned his feelings, I was naturally aware of them. I felt somewhat guilty that he allowed me to enjoy sexual pleasure. But after all, they were friends, and at this time, any thoughts I had would seem like taking advantage of him, even though Yunyun had long viewed sex as a game. It wasn't until I went to work in a white-collar job and read many members' stories that I gradually gained the courage to try and do something for my husband.

When we returned from our vacation in September, I told my husband my idea. I could see a mixture of surprise and doubt on his face. I knew it was a risk, because Yunyun was a friend in my life, and I knew how satisfying it would be for a woman who craved love to conquer her best friend's husband—women are vain! Yunyun had said more than once that I was lucky, and her eyes were always full of envy when she mentioned my husband. Although it was a risk, I also knew that there was a high probability that she would be willing to be sexually intimate with my husband. My husband, of course, didn't object to my idea. He just kept telling me that if I felt even a little uncomfortable, I shouldn't force myself, because he was always worried that I would get hurt. In the days that followed, I started frequently inviting Yunyun to my house for meals. She always loved my cooking, saying it tasted like home. She said she wished she could move in with me. I started to feel suspicious, and seeing my husband chatting happily with her added a sour feeling that made me feel depressed. I began to hesitate. Could I really watch the man I loved touch another woman and be crazy about another woman's body?

Two months passed. I had no heart for taking photos or posting on social media. I still remember the torment I endured during those two months, but no one knew, not even my husband. Until the middle of this month, I was still hesitant and didn't tell Yunyun anything. On November 18th, my husband went to Hong Kong, and I called Yunyun to come over and keep me company. She slept with me that night. Women are often more explicit about sex than men. We lay in bed and started talking about men. She kept talking about her exciting sexual experiences. Later, she started asking me about my husband and me. When I told her that my husband often made me urinate uncontrollably, she seemed very excited and asked me what it felt like. I told her, "I wanted to die at that moment."

She said, almost to herself, "I've never felt that way when I orgasm." There was a hint of envy in her voice.

Then she laughed and asked me, "Do you have any porn on your computer?"

"Yeah, a lot, all downloaded by my husband, but it feels weird that I've never watched them with a girl." I was a little embarrassed.

She laughed again, "What's so weird about it? Just watch some. You can't sleep anyway. See what kind of movies your husband usually watches." I turned on the computer and randomly clicked on a movie. Japanese porn doesn't have much of a plot; it always starts like that. We watched it while gossiping about which woman had pretty breasts, and then kept fast-forwarding until we finished the movie. I thought it wasn't good and turned it off. Who knew she'd insist I watch another one? I clicked on another one, but it was censored and had Chinese subtitles. Judging from the dialogue, it was a South Korean film, and some scenes didn't start with sex. Later, when the two beautiful female protagonists started touching each other, I actually felt a little awkward. I don't know when, but Yunyun and I stopped talking. She was silent, which made me even more embarrassed. My mind was a mess. It was the first time I'd watched a film like this alone with a girl, and I didn't know whether to turn it off or continue watching in this awkward atmosphere.

I whispered to her, "Do you still want to watch? Let's turn it off, it's a bit weird."

"Look, look, these two women are very pretty," she said.

She continued, "Do you find it disgusting?"

"It's okay, I think it's quite beautiful when it's girls with girls, but I'd find it disgusting when it's guys," I replied.

"Let me ask you something, what if—I mean, what if—you had to try it, would you dare?" Her tone seemed a little serious.

"…………" I didn't know how to answer her.

In the movie, a girl was slowly licking another girl's nipple with her tongue. The soft moans filled me with an indescribable shyness. Good heavens, I was watching porn with a female friend and I actually felt something! This feeling was different from anything I'd felt with any man before. It wasn't an eager demand or desire, but rather like being touched in a sensitive spot, becoming incredibly soft yet too embarrassing to speak of. I subconsciously squeezed my legs together.

"Can I hug you?" Yunyun asked.

Without waiting for my reply, she hugged me from behind. I felt her body was very hot. I didn't speak, my heart pounding faster and faster. I felt dizzy, starting to feel confused. What was I doing? What would happen next? The girl's moans from the movie kept echoing in my ears, and I clearly felt my body beginning to crave something. But what was I craving? I felt Yunyun move her arms away from my chest. She gently stroked my back. Her hands were so soft, her fingertips gliding across my skin like a gentle breeze—completely different from a man's hand. What was happening to me? I seemed somewhat intoxicated, but a feeling of shame lingered, yes, shame. I began to sober up, remembering my initial purpose.

I turned and grabbed her hand, mustering my courage and feigning composure, saying, "What are you doing? Testing me, or do you really want it that much? If you're really that thirsty, I'll lend you my husband."

She pulled her hand away dismissively, saying, "If you want, sure, but I need you here too."

She seemed serious, not just arguing, so I quickly seized the opportunity, saying, "Okay, I'll bet you. Don't leave tomorrow, wait for my husband to come back."

"Okay," she still replied dismissively.

I shut down the computer, and we remained silent, waiting for my husband to return home the next day…

I'm not even sure if I'm really doing this for my husband or if I have ulterior motives, because I know that if I were watching them being sexy, I wouldn't just be an observer. It wasn't until the next day, after the three of us went wild, that I realized Yunyun was much more open-minded than I thought. I know that such experiences are nothing special for white-collar workers; many members have experienced similar excitement countless times. But for me, it was so unforgettable; that wonderful feeling is probably hard to come by again. If you haven't had a similar experience, you may never understand, and you might even find it unbelievable. I'm writing this down, and it's still rambling, because every word contains the feeling of my real experience. I feel bad if I miss even one word.

(II)

When I opened my eyes in the morning, it was bright sunshine again. Southern cities are like this; you can't see fallen leaves or snow. Yunyun was still sleeping. She looked so sweet when she slept, like a child. I always feel sorry for women like this. She's clearly a lovely girl, yet she lives such a miserable life for a man who doesn't appreciate her. I stared at her, somewhat lost in thought. Perhaps God has arranged many paths for everyone, but the path to happiness is rare.

Afraid of waking her by tossing and turning in bed, I quietly got up to take a shower. Thinking about my promise with Yunyun last night, I felt a little depressed. The sound of running water made me somewhat dazed, and a wave of sadness washed over me as my hand slid across my skin. Perhaps, just tonight I would witness my husband's hands, which had caressed me a thousand times, caressing another woman. And this woman was my good friend, a more beautiful and alluring woman than me, and more importantly, she could give anyone the novelty they craved. I began to imagine my husband's excited and aroused expression. Aside from a slight ache in my chest, I felt none of the desire I had felt last night while watching porn. I didn't know if the sunlight had brought me clarity, or if the dark desires in my heart only dared to hide in the night.

After showering, I casually put on one of my husband's t-shirts and habitually went to the kitchen to boil milk. My husband had said I needed to drink milk every day, so I obediently forced myself to drink it every day. Today, I couldn't help but think of my husband, a somewhat melancholic thought.

"You look so sexy, your hair's wet, and the sunlight is just right on the short downy hair on the back of your neck. If I were a man, I definitely wouldn't be able to resist wanting to sleep with you, haha." The girl, who had woken up sometime earlier, stood behind me, laughing.

I wanted to turn around and yell at her, but when I turned around, I saw her shirtless, wearing only a pair of cartoon-patterned underwear. I was a little stunned.

"Get me one of your pajamas, will you? It's a bit cold," she complained.

I snapped out of it, poured her a glass of milk, and handed it to her: "Wait a minute, have a glass of milk first, I'll go get it for you." "
I never imagined her breasts were so beautiful. I only knew they should be quite large, but I didn't know they were so light in color, with tiny, pink nipples sticking out. Would my husband, who's obsessed with breasts, be obsessed with hers too? I couldn't help but compare my own breasts to hers. She was wearing a nightgown that usually reached almost to my knees, but it only covered her thighs. Her height of nearly 1.7 meters is something I've always dreamed of. Facing such a woman, I started to feel a little annoyed. How could I be friends with a woman like that? I, who am naturally petite, felt a strong sense of inferiority. Who told me to only befriend pretty girls since I was little? Vanity!" Women are all vain!

"You know what? Since I met you, I've always wondered if my height is what's hurting me. Petite girls always make men want to protect and cherish them. Thinking about it, it's true. Sometimes when I see you, I really want to take care of you, even when you're being willful, I can't help but give in to you." She leaned against the wall, slowly drinking her milk.
"You're overthinking it. I envy you! I wish I could grow another 10 centimeters taller, so I could charm countless men, haha." "Wanting to grow taller is true, and charming even more people is also true, I'm being honest.
" "Charming for a moment is unrealistic, it takes a lifetime. I think you're great as you are, even I, a woman, like you, let alone men." She seemed very serious.

"You'll be happy too." I didn't know what to say.

"Hehe," she said, "which 'happiness' are you talking about? I guess someone like me can't find happiness, so I choose a different kind of happiness—sexual happiness, the kind of sexual happiness, haha." She whispered "sexual happiness" in my ear,
which felt strange.

Just as I was about to say something, the phone rang. Yunyun quickly ran into the living room, saying, "I'll answer it for you." It was my husband calling. He always calls a lot when he goes out, asking all sorts of questions, as if I were a child who couldn't take care of herself. He probably didn't expect Yunyun to be in our house. He asked some polite questions but didn't say much more. I only heard Yunyun say into the phone, "Your wife is fine. Come back quickly today, we're all waiting for you." Then she hung up.

"Why did you hang up? I still need to talk to him!" I said, a little annoyed.

"He said he'd be back this afternoon. Oh, what are you saying? I just wanted him to worry a little so he'd come back sooner. Have you forgotten the bet we made last night? I was serious." "She pouted.

Should I be happy? Because everything seemed to be going smoothly, and my initial idea was almost realized without much effort, but why did I have this lingering ache in my heart? That day passed both slowly and quickly. The two women, with bare legs, nestled on the sofa chatting and watching TV, but never mentioned what they had agreed on the night before.
Around 3 p.m., my husband came home. As soon as he entered, he saw Yunyun wearing my nightgown, her smooth, long legs exposed. I secretly glared at my husband, full of jealousy. He saw it, but I wondered if Yunyun saw it too. My husband greeted her and went into the room to change. I followed him in.

"Why was Yunyun the one who answered the phone this morning? Did she stay out with you last night and not come home?" my husband asked as he changed.

"Yeah, we talked until very late last night. Honey, she agreed to what I told you last time. She said today. What should we do?" "Actually, I regretted it a little. I wanted my husband to say no, that he only wanted me.

He hesitated for a few seconds, then forced himself to be calm and said, 'I will follow my wife's orders in everything I do. I can't accept any dissatisfaction from my wife.'

That's how men are. They want something so badly but act like someone begged them to do it. My husband, who has always been honest and straightforward with me, was playing tricks on me at this moment, which made me even more worried.

'I really want to do something for you. You've always indulged me all these years, but I'm afraid you'll stop loving me because she has a better figure than me. I'm conflicted, but... but I also feel that it's such an easy thing to do, and it would be a pity to miss it. It seems like you're taking advantage of someone else, which means I'm taking advantage of someone else. I...' I didn't want to face this problem myself. I wanted him to decide for himself whether or not to do it.

'Silly girl, I'm more than 10 years older than you. What kind of beautiful women haven't I seen? We discuss everything in our family. I'll tell you the truth. You personally helped me find your friend. That's the important reason why I want it, not because of who that woman is.'" "He said.

"So that means you're going to make the decision, but she wants me to be there too, and I'm afraid I won't be able to handle seeing it with my own eyes." I was telling the truth. "

Let's just relax and see how things develop, don't overthink it." After saying that, he opened the door, took my hand, and walked out.

Things don't always go as we expect, so we really don't need to do anything deliberately. My husband is right.

Yunyun seemed to know what we were talking about in the room; her eyes looked a little strange. My husband didn't say much, quietly watching TV, while Yunyun and I chatted idly. The time before it was about to happen was very awkward; everyone knew what was going to happen but pretended to be calm. I thought my lecherous husband must be full of anticipation, and Yunyun must be too, because her friend's husband would go crazy for her, and her vanity would be strongly satisfied. I, I always had that suspicion; I had no anticipation. If I had to say I had any anticipation, it was that I didn't want to witness this madness firsthand.

I knew Yunyun was anticipating it, and finally, she took the initiative to bring up the topic: "Brother, last night I almost took advantage of your wife, haha." Thinking about last night made me even more embarrassed: "What are you talking about? Don't talk nonsense."
My husband seemed quite interested: "Bullying her? You bullied her while I wasn't home? What happened?"

"We accidentally saw a South Korean porn you downloaded, it was about two girls, hehe, it's because your wife looks so weak, it made me want to bully her, hahaha..." She got more and more excited as she spoke.
"Hey, stop talking, I'll get angry if you keep going." I was genuinely a little angry.

"Two girls watching porn at home, really, which one was it?" my husband asked.

I understood what he meant; things seemed to have no room for maneuver. I just hoped I wouldn't see anything with my own eyes. I turned on the computer and opened the porn Yunyun and I had watched last night, intending to make an excuse to leave.

"I'll go prepare dinner, you two chat," I said.

But Yunyun grabbed my hand and said, "Don't run away, it'll be awkward without you. Why are you making dinner so early?"
She insisted I sit next to her, and then it was quiet again. The silence, broken only by the sound of my own heartbeat and the girl's moans in the video, made me restless. I was afraid to see my loved one and my friend touching each other intimately; my mind was filled with such images, and the restless desire of last night was gone.

"That girl lying on the bed looks just like you, petite and delicate yet voluptuous. I'm so jealous of girls like that, both jealous and fond of them," Yunyun whispered in my ear.

I could feel her breath on my earlobe, so light it made me tremble. I couldn't speak, only managing a forced smile. Something seemed to be awakening the desire from last night, and I began to realize the real reason Yunyun insisted I be there.

Yunyun turned to her embarrassed husband and said, "Brother, if I were to bully your wife, would you be angry?"
That wretched husband smiled but didn't answer, instead saying to me, "Girl, don't be afraid, your husband's here."
I remained speechless, my heart pounding faster and faster. Yunyun pulled my right hand onto her smooth leg and then tightly intertwined her left hand's fingers with mine. I felt my breathing quicken, and I didn't know what to do. She turned to the side and reached out her right hand to gently pinch my earlobe, whispering in my ear, "I really like you." Her voice was faint, making my whole body go weak.

When she licked my earlobe with her tongue, I was completely overwhelmed. The thought of being taken advantage of by a woman sent a surge of heat through me. Shame, so much shame, yet why was there also a faint, lingering desire? She slowly kissed my lips, so soft, so sweet. She searched for my tongue, and I closed my eyes, our tongues intertwining. I had no strength left; I lay there limp. Her hands roamed over my body, I felt her fingertips gliding over every inch of my skin until she gently massaged my breasts. I forgot my husband beside me, I forgot that there was a man I loved watching my female friend take advantage of me. How did things turn out like this? Everything that should have been in my control has now become Yunyun's initiative. She slowly embraced me, and I heard her breathing quicken. Her high, firm breasts rose and fell with her breath, constantly brushing against my body—so soft, so very soft. What a thrill! I heard myself start to moan. I opened my eyes and saw my husband's loving gaze. He was just looking at me intently, his eyes only on me. I thought I should be braver, so I tried to respond to Yunyun, but I started to get distracted. I kept looking into my husband's eyes. I should be braver. Finally, I gritted my teeth, grabbed my husband's hand, and placed it on Yunyun's chest. Yunyun actually cried out. Her hand on my chest tightened, and my husband seemed even more excited by my action. He started kissing me, kissing me passionately

. "
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