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Truly speechless 

    page views:1  Publication date:2023-03-24  
On my way home last night, there were so many people selling porn, constantly coming up to me to sell it. It was so annoying! Then…
Seller A: Want some porn?
Me: Do you have DVDs?   Seller A
walked away speechlessly…
I kept walking forward.   Seller B: Let me see   some porn.   Me: Do you have DVDs?   Seller B: Yes. Me: Do you have D9s? Seller B walked away speechlessly. I kept walking forward.   Seller C:   Want a porn movie? Me: Do you have DVDs?   Seller C: Yes. Me: Do you   have D9s?   Seller C: Yes, they're multi-angle.   Me: Do you have Region 1?   Seller C: We have all regions.   Me: Does it have Chinese subtitles?   Seller C: Chinese with CC subtitles, interactive menu, games…   Me: Damn, do you have any with Li Yapeng's voice?   Seller C: … I kept walking forward. Seller D: Want a porn movie?   Me: Do you have DVDs?   Seller D: Yes.   Me: Do you have D9s?   Seller Ding: Yes, it's multi-angle.   Me: Do you have Region 1?   Seller Ding: I have all regions.   Me: Does it have Chinese subtitles?   Seller Ding: Chinese with CC subtitles, interactive menu, and games.   Me: Damn, do you have one with Li Yapeng's voice acting? Seller Ding: Yes, the female voice actress is Zhou Xun. Me: Oh, is it the CCTV version directed by Zhang Jizhong? Seller Ding: ..... Going back further, Seller Wu: Want a pornographic film?   Me: Do you have DVDs?   Seller Wu: Yes.   Me: Do you have D9s?   Seller Wu: Yes, it's multi-angle.   Me: Do you have Region 1?   Seller Wu: I have all regions.   Me: Does it have Chinese subtitles?   Seller Wu: Chinese with CC subtitles, interactive menu, and games.   Me: Damn, do you have one with Li Yapeng's voice acting? Seller E: The old version was dubbed by Li Yapeng, the latest Qinglong version has Zhou Xun's dubbing. Me: Oh, is it the CCTV version directed by Zhang Jizhong? Seller E: Who else could it be but him ? Me: Are there any F4 cameos? Seller E: They're all in it, Vic Zhou even shows his nipples~~~ Me: Is there a director's commentary track? Seller E: Yes, the double D9 disc also has actor interviews, unreleased clips, behind-the-scenes footage, and on-site interviews. Me: Are there many hidden nudes? Seller E: An average of 20 seconds each, keeping you entertained. Me: What's the disc quality like? Seller E: IFPI disc quality, replacement guaranteed if there are any problems . Me: Does it come with a case? Seller E: White plastic case, latest style clasp design. Me: Are there any freebies included with the disc? Seller E: Yes, postcards, posters, keychains, plus an original soundtrack CD. Me: How much? Seller E: Double D9, lowest price in the city, 30!!! Me: Ah, I didn't bring my wallet today, I'll talk about it later. (Seller faints on the spot) Finally almost home! (Seller: Want a pornographic film?)   Me: Do you have DVDs?   (Seller: Yes.)   Me: Do you have D9s?   (Seller: Yes, they're multi-angle.)   Me: Do you have Region 1? (   Seller: Yes, all regions. )   Me: Does it have Chinese subtitles?   (Seller: Chinese with CC subtitles, interactive menu, games.)   Me: Damn, does it have Li Yapeng's voice acting? (Seller: The old version had Li Yapeng's voice acting, the latest Qinglong version has Zhou Xun's voice acting. ) Me: Oh, is it the CCTV version directed by Zhang Jizhong? (Seller: Who else could it be but him? ) Me: Are there any F4 cameos? Seller: They're all in! Vic Zhou even shows his nipples! Me: Is there a director's commentary track? Seller: Yes, the double D9 disc also includes actor interviews, unreleased clips, behind-the-scenes footage, and on-site interviews. Me: Are there many hidden nudes? Seller: An average of one every 20 seconds, keeping you entertained. Me: What's the disc quality like? Seller: IFPI disc quality, replacement guaranteed if there are any problems. Me: Does it come with a case? Seller: White plastic case, latest design. Me: Are there any freebies included? Seller: Yes, postcards, posters, keychains, and an original soundtrack CD. Me: How much? Seller: Double D9, lowest price in the city, 30! Me: Can I enter a prize draw if I buy the disc now? Seller: Not only can you enter a prize draw, but you also get 20 free with purchases over 100! Me: Can I watch it on my computer if there's no DVD? Seller: No problem, this disc is compatible with all laser disc formats currently on the market. Reading device. Me: But what if my computer doesn't have a CD drive? Seller: No problem, our company deals in all kinds of optical storage devices, and you can even rent our playback equipment . Me: Can you deliver it to my door? Seller: Look at you, we came here specifically to wait for you! We even brought the equipment! Me: But I didn't bring any money today, I just paid the rent, let's talk about it later. Seller: No problem, we can accept credit cards, and if you don't have a card, we also support mobile payment. We can also offer bank mortgages and installment payments. In addition, we also provide other door-to-door services. Me: But I don't have a card, a phone, or any savings. I just picked up the house key on the street, and my clothes are borrowed. Seller: No problem, even found items have value. We have a dedicated asset appraisal team that can give your property a comprehensive evaluation. Me: But even if it's appraised, no one will want it!








































































































Seller: No problem, we also have a pawn shop where you can trade your valuable assets.
Me: But haven't you realized I'm blind?
Seller: Hehe! It's alright, our promise is that every customer can enjoy
the effects a DVD can deliver.
Me: Oh! Do you have real ones?
Seller: Yes, we do. Do you want Hong Kong/Taiwanese or local ones? Thai or Russian? We even
have American ones!
Me: Do you have Antarctic ones?
Seller: Of course! Our company has over a hundred million employees, spread across every corner of the globe, and we've even recently recruited a batch of extraterrestrials, the furthest reaching Mars!
Me: Oh! I'm not planning to buy anymore, please go home!
Seller: Oh, I'm sorry, sir! Our job is to satisfy all our customers! If you don't buy our products, it means you're not satisfied with us. In that case, I must invite you to
come with me to Mars. We'll have our Martian staff forcibly provide you with services. After the service, you can fill out a customer feedback form to make reasonable requests about our service. Our
motto is: Service first, payment after satisfaction!
Me: "!!!!!!!" Let's take one anyway.

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