Jokes Not for Ladies

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

Several jokes not for ladies.
A serious warning: This article is intended for men only. If you are not male, please leave immediately. If you insist on
continuing to read, you are solely responsible for all consequences. The author assumes no responsibility.

One day, I went to Hangzhou with my girlfriend. At Jingci Temple, we saw the release pond (a pond full of turtles). Seeing the turtles
swimming with only their heads above the water, my lovely girlfriend excitedly exclaimed, "Wow! So many turtle heads!!!" I almost fainted
from ... My girlfriend's face immediately turned bright red...

Someone's signature somewhere has a little chick.
One day, a girl commented: "Your little chick is so cute ^0^"

Something from middle school: During recess, a group of us were telling jokes (boys and girls). It was a very old joke
: "Once upon a time, there was a eunuch..." Then I stopped, and a girl asked, "What happened next?" I said, "Next?
Next ... there's nothing..." Everyone laughed. A minute later, the same girl asked, "Why is there nothing next???"
"Me: "………………"

Once, we were discussing cooking in the dorm, and one of my friends' girlfriends was there too. We said that most young men can cook, but most
young women can't. The girl said, "I can cook, I can cook chicken!" Everyone chuckled. The girl, not understanding what he meant,
confidently said, "I really can cook chicken!" Everyone couldn't take it anymore and stormed out of the room. The girl chased after us to the door, stood in the hallway, and shouted, "
I really can cook chicken!!!" Everyone was terrified and fled in panic.

When I was an undergraduate, before a computer lab class, the girl in charge of managing the computer lab borrowed a
screwdriver to disassemble a machine (in another room). As a result, while we were using the computer, she stood at the door of the computer lab and
yelled at my teacher, "Teacher! Your thing is really no good!!" Everyone rolled their eyes. "

One day, an older sister and younger brother were going to school. While on the bus, they saw two dogs mating. The younger brother asked his older sister what they were
doing . "They're fighting," the older sister quickly replied. Then my sister noticed two hooligans staring at her, their eyes
scanning her body. "What are you looking at? Want to fight?" my sister shouted.

And another thing, during the school sports meet, the girls were sitting on the grass watching. At that moment, a guy kindly borrowed a parasol.
One of the girls saw it and exclaimed excitedly, "Quick, put it behind me! Put it behind me!!" Seeing the guy's strange expression, she changed her mind,
"Quick, put the parasol behind me!!" Everyone burst out laughing…

Once, my sister, two friends (a couple), and I drove to another city for a long trip… On the way back, my sister and I sat
in the back. Because I hadn't slept much the night before, I wanted to sleep soon after we started driving, so I leaned against my sister and slept for a little
while , I felt refreshed! Unexpectedly, my sister was also tired and said, "You slept with me, now it's your turn to let me sleep with you." "
My friend immediately stopped the car, opened the door, and jumped aside, laughing hysterically... I and my friend were speechless." The
girl was still wide-eyed, completely bewildered.

One day, I brought my new laptop to work, and a beautiful female colleague came over to admire it. After looking at the machine, she looked at the laptop bag
and then suddenly said the second-most hilarious joke in history: "Your foreskin is so soft!" Why the second-most hilarious? Because just as
I was stunned and speechless, she said the most hilarious joke in history:
"Let me open it and see." I immediately vomited blood and lost consciousness.

It reminds me of an incident in middle school. A pervert in my class gave a naive girl a lewd riddle: "Wedding night—
guess a historical figure." The answer was "Charles I." The girl obviously couldn't guess, so the pervert laughed hysterically and proudly
revealed the answer. Unexpectedly… the girl relentlessly pursued him, asking: "Why Charles I?
Why ? Can you explain it to me? I really don't understand!" "The pervert was thus severely weakened, and from then on, he feared
young girls like the plague, never daring to tell them erotic stories again..."

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