How many dates are required before we can "go to bed"?

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Women often have a misconception that giving themselves away will quickly lock in a target man. The tighter a woman holds onto a man, the more she uses her body as a weapon. Therefore, the more a woman loves a man, the faster she might sleep with him, often holding the initiative in her hands. However, the initiative in future sexual encounters often reverts to the man. So, what is the reasonable standard for how many dates to have sex?

How many dates should it be before "sleeping together"?

Sleeping together on the first date is just playing around; sleeping together on the second date is undoubtedly a bit fast, but it might be because she's really impatient; but once a man has confirmed the relationship, he'll probably only wait a month at most. In my drinking buddies' circle, there's a common saying: "

I dated a new girl last night, we got along really well, and spent half the night in bars and dance halls (it's pretty much the same in Hong Kong, Shanghai, and Beijing; you usually go to several clubs in one night to have a good time!), and we were quite drunk, walking down the street, neither of us wanted to go home.

My friend asked: 'Should I call her home that night?'" Of course, they're talking about sex.

Topic: Who's in charge after a man and woman sleep together? Story: He slept with me only to verify my virginity.

If there's no intention of a long-term relationship, this isn't a problem. But the real issue is:

if you want to develop a romantic relationship, that's a different story. The facts are clear (even if you don't believe it): men's attitudes towards sex are more conservative than we imagine.

Another friend responded: I've had a similar experience. The first time we clicked (not the first meeting, but we'd known each other for a while without any spark, then on a specific occasion, it ignited!), you intuitively felt that this person was the one you most wanted to sleep with that night, or the first person you'd see when you opened your eyes the next morning. But you didn't bring it up. Because you were afraid of getting an answer you didn't want to hear, all your fantasies vanished.

On the second date, he finally couldn't resist, and the woman was happy to go back to his place with him. Afterwards, the first thing the woman asked the man was: Why didn't you bring me home last time? So, for both men and women, how many dates should they go through before sleeping together? This question reflects a fundamental difference in their views on love.

Sleeping together on the first time is likely just a joke, especially since everyone knows it's a casual encounter.

Sleeping together on the second time is undoubtedly a bit too fast, but it might also indicate a genuine eagerness (like my friend).

However, once a man is certain of their relationship, I believe he'll wait at most a month. Of course, I'm not saying that

if you don't sleep with your boyfriend after a month, he'll leave you or hate you. A good man will respect that, but what I'm saying is: his not bringing it up doesn't mean he doesn't want to. A month is more about psychological preparation than physical desire. In other words, at the beginning of a relationship, a month is a normal adjustment period. If they discover incompatibility, they usually break up within this timeframe to avoid dragging things out and getting hurt more. When both are confident in their relationship, things will happen naturally.

There's no set rule or timetable for this. But a month is a reasonable estimate. It's not that some people don't consider sex sacred. They might agree not to sleep together during the dating-to-marriage phase, saving it for the most important moment (the actual wedding night). The more you anticipate, the more beautiful it becomes.

This, while I personally find quite intriguing: storing up a surge of energy for a final, explosive release—I don't necessarily anticipate this delayed climax, but I certainly wish it upon myself. Whether the climax will be even more intense after the storm is unknown, but this meticulous planning certainly makes a woman more likely to marry well.

But what is a reasonable standard for how many times a woman should have sex? The truth is: women often have a misconception that giving themselves away will quickly lock onto a target man. The tighter a woman holds onto a man, the more she uses her body as a weapon. Thus, the more a woman loves a man, the faster she might have sex with him, with the woman often holding the initiative.

However, in the long run, the initiative in future sexual encounters often returns to the man, hence the woman experiences a strange sense of superiority before having sex. Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean the man will reciprocate in kind. Using sex as a weapon doesn't guarantee a stable marriage. Ultimately, the degree to which a man is invested in love has little to do with the time equation of how many dates it takes before sleeping together.

Ambiguity: Never sleeping with the same man twice; "Reserving" sex in separate rooms...

How long should you know someone before sleeping with them?

There was a guy who went to a bar to pick up a girl for the first time, and after successfully getting her home, he suddenly hesitated: "If I sleep with her after only knowing her for two hours, won't she think I'm a pervert?"

To put it bluntly, the essence of this question is: How long should you know someone before sleeping with them?

Here is a Chinese online survey report on romantic relationships:

Survey Question: "How long after you met him/her did you sleep together? (Shortest time)"

(12,506 people participated)

14.99% 1 month 14.24% 3 months 13.64% After establishing a marital relationship

12.51% Depending on the environment and situation 11.59% 6 months 9.70% 1 week

8.80% Depending on the person 6.81% 1 year 4.38% 1 day 3.32% 1 hour

Somewhat surprisingly, only 3.32% and 4.38% chose "1 hour" and "1 day" respectively for sleeping together, both ranking last. It seems that the "one-night stand" so often sung in bourgeois literature is not as common as imagined. No need to ask names, stories of "breaking up after dawn" do exist, but those who yearn for it outnumber those who actually do it. In this age of readily available information, the fantasies of the pretentious, literate petit-bourgeois seem to have become mainstream. Therefore, one-night stands in cities are often seen as evidence of "moral decay." Many people are no longer bothered by their one-night stands, but are ashamed to admit they haven't had any. This survey suggests that the above assertion is merely an illusion.

The most popular choices were 1 month and 3 months, a rapid pace compared to the past. More and more people firmly believe that feelings must be expressed through sex. Moreover, women can also enjoy sex openly, and no one needs to be responsible for anything. Under this relaxed attitude, it's no surprise that the timing of sleeping together is getting earlier and earlier.

11.59% and 6.81% chose to sleep together after knowing each other for six months and one year respectively, belonging to the traditional camp. Even more traditional is the choice of 13.64% who chose "only sleeping together after establishing a marital relationship." Their attitude towards sex is cautious, often believing that love and sex are inseparable.

Many also chose "depending on the environment and situation" or "depending on the person," indicating pragmatic but indecisive individuals. To save on rent, some conservative girls are forced to live with their boyfriends; while others, with only dorm rooms and no private rooms, have been dating for a year without cheating.

Reflection: A woman goes to bed with love; I only want to sleep with you if I love you!

In conclusion, we see that all options are fairly evenly matched, with no single option being absolutely advantageous or disadvantageous. Undoubtedly, various sexual attitudes are coexisting comfortably in an increasingly relaxed environment, and no one can convince anyone else.

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