Love and cruelty are a double-edged sword

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

Nearly half an hour had passed, and Shi Yun still hadn't woken up. Blood from Zhang Chu continued to drip onto Shi Yun. At this moment, Zhang Chu's entire being was focused on Shi Yun. He repeatedly called her name in his heart, urging her to wake up. He knew Shi Yun would hear him. Shi Yun…
In this short time, Zhang Chu seemed to have suddenly matured a great deal.
Zhang Chu loved Shi Yun, but he had never been honest about it; on the contrary, he loved her with great pride.
Zhang Chu entered university at seventeen; Shi Yun was a year younger than him, sixteen. They studied the same major, marine engineering. Shi Yun excelled academically and was a student council member. Zhang Chu, on the other hand, was the kind of person whose "heart wasn't in the sea of knowledge, but in the shade of willows and flowers, so he devoted himself to stealing jade and fragrance." But he was exceptionally intelligent, reading extremely quickly, especially appreciating flowing, natural language. When Zhang Chu began pursuing Shi Yun, she once remarked that he was too dashing and unreliable, making it difficult for anyone to accept his love. Upon hearing this, Zhang Chu immediately pursued another girl in their class the next day, seemingly to reinforce Shi Yun's statement and try to psychologically discourage her. However, Shi Yun, in a fit of anger, immediately read aloud a love letter he had written to her in class, leaving Zhang Chu so ashamed that he hid from everyone for days, avoiding any contact with her. After this incident, Zhang Chu rarely resorted to such underhanded tactics in front of Shi Yun, believing her to be far more astute than himself.
Since he considered her superior, he carefully protected himself in her presence. Shi Yun, however, remained unaware that a man who loved her was deliberately isolating himself from her. One day, while reading *Romance of the Three Kingdoms*, Shi Yun lamented to Zhang Chu about Cao Cao's ruthlessness in killing Yang Xiu and Kong Rong. Zhang Chu, in response, said to Shi Yun, "Why shouldn't Yang Xiu and Kong Rong have been killed? If it were me, I would have killed them too." Shi Yun was startled and asked Zhang Chu why. Zhang Chu simply said, "You wouldn't understand if I explained, and you don't need to understand. It's a man's business."
Shi Yun couldn't understand Zhang Chu on this point. She had placed 100% of herself in Zhang Chu's hands, yet he still concealed a small part of himself. When Zhang Chu first started working, he was highly regarded by his superiors, but he quickly fell out of favor. Upon joining the government, Zhang Chu was assigned to the review department, responsible for approving environmental impact assessment reports for construction projects. However, he only stayed in this department for seven months before being transferred due to substandard results. After Zhang Chu's transfer, Shi Yun asked him why. Zhang Chu only told Shi Yun four words: "It's the reality of China." But Shi Yun sometimes sensed that Zhang Chu was struggling internally, and this state of mind sometimes even affected their lovemaking. When he was trying to bring Shi Yun to a pleasurable climax, he would suddenly stop, as if he had lost confidence, lying motionless on top of her. But his penis remained firmly inside Shi Yun's body, stirring with his own desire. At this moment, Shi Yun's libido would often vanish suddenly, and then, after Zhang Chu got up again, she would cooperate with his movements to help him release.
Shi Yun thought Zhang Chu might be experiencing some pressure at work, or perhaps he wasn't yet used to his job. Zhang Chu was a free spirit, somewhat headstrong, unwilling to compromise his principles for others' approval—a trait Shi Yun had long recognized—and therefore suspected he might have offended some colleagues or superiors at work. Thinking of this, Shi Yun couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness. Her sadness wasn't because of Zhang Chu's behavior at work, but because she felt he didn't fully trust her. He was the man she loved; if the man she loved didn't trust her, a woman could never truly enter his heart, and it meant a door would always be closed to her. She was not only his lover and future wife, but also his most trusted friend. Shi Yun was tormented by this. He laughed, played, and indulged himself on her; she placed everything in his hands, even her entire life. She couldn't bear the fact that he still kept a door closed to her. Shi Yun secretly went to Zhang Chu's workplace to learn about him, hoping to open that door and get to know the man she loved. However, after her visit, Shi Yun couldn't shake off the same aversion she felt towards Zhang Chu for a long time. Zhang Chu was also unaware that Shi Yun had visited his workplace to investigate him.
When Zhang Chu first started working, he was somewhat naive and still had a strong student mentality. While reviewing environmental impact assessment reports for construction projects, he discovered numerous environmental quality problems in existing or planned projects, especially since some data in the environmental impact assessment reports was clearly falsified. During an investigation of a pesticide factory in Jiangnan, he discovered that the factory was collecting large amounts of toxic wastewater on a cargo ship and then secretly discharging it at night into the Grand Canal. Upon returning, Zhang Chu reported these findings to his superiors, demanding that the pesticide factory be shut down for rectification. The bureau leader told him to immediately send someone down to verify the situation before taking further action. However, two months later, when Zhang Chu went to the pesticide factory again, he found the situation unchanged, and the factory leaders even said that someone higher up had given their approval and tacit consent. Zhang Chu, unaware of the implications, returned and questioned the bureau leader again. The bureau leader told him that some issues needed to be handled in light of China's national conditions. At this time, Zhang Chu didn't understand what "China's national conditions" meant. Later, someone reported that a joint venture in Jiangbei had never used its wastewater treatment facilities, directly discharging large amounts of wastewater into the Yangtze River, causing widespread pollution and harming drinking water sources for residents. Zhang Chu applied to the bureau leader to send someone down to the factory to collect water samples for testing, and if the situation was true, to impose a severe penalty. The leader agreed, and he took several people down. However, when they arrived at the factory, they found it closed for the day, and the iron gates were locked. But when he peeked through the crack in the gate, he saw that many pieces of equipment inside were still emitting heat. Upon returning, Zhang Chu truthfully reported the situation to his superiors, concluding that someone within the bureau had tipped off the factory, conspiring to harm our socialist land. His superiors told him that in their positions, they had to consider "China's national conditions" before taking any action.
Zhang Chu finally understood what "China's national conditions" meant. However, he found it somewhat absurd that ordinary Chinese people would accept such a phrase.
From that moment on, Zhang Chu completely lost interest in his job and even loathed it. Once, in a document he submitted to his superiors for review, he intentionally included "Environmental Quality Impact Assessment Report for a Certain Project under China's National Conditions," which led to his transfer
to the Social Welfare Department. After learning of this, Shi Yun went to great lengths to appease Zhang Chu, even deliberately trying to cheer him up and prevent him from struggling with his inner turmoil. Frustrated at work, Zhang Chu became even more unrestrained with Shi Yun, seeking physical release. One night, he woke up in the middle of the night and asked Shiyun, "How did I end up sleeping next to you?" Shiyun replied, "Who knows where you crawled in from? You flower thief." Upon hearing this, Zhang Chu said, "I remember now, you were the one who grabbed me at the door, preventing me from leaving. Letting a random man sleep at night, you're just like a little harlot." Shiyun, feigning madness, said, "You call me a little harlot? I'll show you right now!" She then rolled over and straddled Zhang Chu, kissing him while grabbing his penis, saying, "Does this count as harlotry?" Zhang Chu said, "No." Shiyun took it and pushed it into her body, asking, "How about this?" Zhang Chu said, "Still not." Shiyun sat up, bouncing around a few times, asking, "How about this?" Zhang Chu, now somewhat aroused, rubbed Shiyun's breasts while saying, "Somewhat." Shiyun suddenly bounced violently, shouting, "Somewhat?! Tell me quickly!" Zhang Chu immediately retorted, "Little whore, little whore, little whore..."
After their marriage, Shi Yun became even more casual with Zhang Chu. Sometimes, she even pretended not to see him flirting with her younger sister, Shi Ming. Shi Yun simply thought that Zhang Chu loved her, and her sister loved her too; Zhang Chu and her sister were just playing around, and nothing would develop between them. But after Shi Ming's divorce, Shi Yun began to worry for a while. She feared her sister couldn't bear the loneliness and would actively pursue Zhang Chu.
Besides, she could tell from Shi Ming's eyes that Shi Ming liked Zhang Chu. But after some time, Shi Yun didn't find anything about Zhang Chu, so she stopped thinking about it and focused on building a love nest with him. Whenever they were home, they were inseparable, lovingly teasing each other. Once, Shi Yun, in Zhang Chu's arms, said to him, "If I count, I've been ravaged by you since I was seventeen. Over the years, you calculate how many times you've ravaged me? If you pay me a hundred yuan each time, how much do you owe me? It's a huge loss, all for nothing." Zhang Chu pretended to be serious and said, "Are you kidding me? Who's wronged?
You should be paying me. I'm your kept mistress. If you can't pay me back, you'll have to pay me for life, understand?" Shi Yun immediately retorted, "You just said you're my kept mistress. Listen, you can't cheat on me outside." Hearing this, Zhang Chu seemed to be deliberately testing Shi Yun's attitude, saying, "What if I steal a bite?" Shi Yun immediately sat up, her face serious, and said, "You wouldn't dare!" Zhang Chu immediately laughed and said, "Oh my god, you'd tear me apart!" Shi Yun said, "Tear you apart?
I'd kick you into the street and let the dogs eat you." Zhang Chu said, "You're so heartless?" Hearing Zhang Chu say this, Shi Yun immediately jumped up in shock, grabbed Zhang Chu's mouth, and said, "Do you really want to steal a bite, or have you already stolen one?" Upon hearing this, Zhang Chu knew he couldn't continue the conversation, so he quickly pulled Shi Yun into his arms, kissing her while saying, "How come you took it so seriously when you were just joking? You're so beautiful, why would I steal a bite outside? I can't even eat you all, you really are something." Hearing this, Shi Yun laughed and said, "That's right, you tricked me into having you, and you still don't love me properly."
One night, Shi Yun lay in Zhang Chu's arms and read a story, after which she had some thoughts. This story tells of a king who took a liking to the wife of a minister. One day, the king sent the minister away and went to the minister's house, hoping to have some fun with the wife. Knowing the king was coming, the minister's wife sent someone to the city to buy a hundred hens, which were all killed and then each hen was cooked into a dish to entertain the king. After eating two or three dishes, the king asked, "Why do they all taste the same? Are there any other dishes?" The minister's wife immediately told the king that the dishes were made from different hens, and then said to him, "Since Your Majesty knows that all hen meat tastes the same, then what difference is there between all women in the world and hens?" Upon hearing this, the king understood his wife's meaning, stopped eating, and returned home with his entourage. After reading this story, Shi Yun found it very interesting and wanted to use it to teach Zhang Chu a lesson about relationships. She added some of her own thoughts to the story and told it to Zhang Chu. To everyone's surprise, Zhang Chu, after listening, told Shi Yun that the story was a lie, written by a eunuch who had never slept with a woman; women are different in bed. Shi Yun was startled and immediately interrupted Zhang Chu, saying, "How do you know women are different in bed?" Realizing he had let something slip, Zhang Chu quickly replied, "Walk down the street and see if any girls look alike. Since they look different, they must be different in bed too." Shi Yun wouldn't let it go, saying, "That's not what you meant! You're lying! Confess!" Zhang Chu said, "What are you thinking? Think about it, even when we have sex at different times and in different places, the feeling and pleasure are different. How could a man have the same experience with different women?" Shi Yun, however, felt there was some truth to Zhang Chu's words, but she still couldn't shake the feeling. So she grabbed Zhang Chu's ear and said, "Your wife is better than anyone else's. Remember that, understand?"
Since Shi Ming's divorce, Shi Yun rarely let Shi Ming stay overnight at home. She was afraid that if Shiming got into the habit of staying overnight, Zhang Chu wouldn't be able to resist the temptation and might do something. Shiyun's apartment was allocated to Zhang Chu by his work unit; it was a two-bedroom, one-living-room unit, over seventy square meters, spacious enough for the young couple. Whenever Shiming came, Shiyun never suggested she stay overnight, and Zhang Chu never dared to bring it up first. Although he wanted to, he was afraid his guilty conscience would be revealed to Shiyun, letting her discover his secret with Shiming. Sometimes, if Shiming was coming on Friday nights, Zhang Chu would tell her to come a little later, so that it would be too late for her to leave. At these times, Zhang Chu's thoughts of polygamy would surface. But he didn't know that every time Shiming stayed, she couldn't sleep all night; pain and desire tormented her. Especially if there was any noise in Zhang Chu's room, Shiming would think that Zhang Chu and her sister were having sex, and then she would listen intently, her body burning with desire. Sometimes, if Zhang Chu felt that Shiming wasn't asleep in the middle of the night, he would pretend to get up to go to the bathroom. Upon hearing Zhang Chu get up, Shi Ming immediately rose and waited for him from behind the door. Zhang Chu approached and gently pushed the door open, and the two quickly and silently embraced. When Zhang Chu hugged Shi Ming, he would always reach out and touch her all over, and Shi Ming would pinch his crotch. Then they would quickly separate; Zhang Chu would go to the bathroom, flush the toilet, and let Shi Yun know he was there. Often, the day after this brief encounter, Zhang Chu would go to Shi Ming's place and make love to her in bed, as if to make up for his apology. At this time, Shi Ming would often show even stronger desire, struggling with Zhang Chu. After Shi Ming's body was burning with passion, her spasms were more intense than usual. At this moment, Zhang Chu wished that Shi Ming's happy little hands would tightly grasp him, pulling him into her body, allowing him to fully receive that pleasurable caress.
Zhang Chu thus leaped between the two women, deriving pleasure from them and giving them pleasure in return. But in Zhang Chu's heart, they were still somewhat different: Shi Yun was his wife, while Shi Ming was merely his mistress. Naturally, he gave Shi Yun more love. In certain situations, his first priority was to protect Shi Yun. Sometimes, even with Shi Ming present, when Shi Yun became intimate with him, he would wholeheartedly embrace her. Afterwards, when Shi Ming became jealous, he would simply say, "You must accept all of this."
In men, the amount of emotion often corresponds to the amount of cruelty. A man full of emotion often wields a double-edged sword of love and cruelty.

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Love and cruelty are a double-edged sword

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