She asks for nothing in return

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

New Year's Day and the Spring Festival have passed in the blink of an eye. Two years have passed since I met W, and more than half a year has gone by since we had sex. Although we rarely had the chance to meet during this time, we missed and longed for each other, and a warm and sweet feeling always filled our hearts. After we made love in the office last time, we had two more opportunities to be intimate, but both were very short and rushed. One time, we met in a park in the southern suburbs. It was a cold day, and the park was almost deserted. We hugged and kissed in a secluded spot. Later, she gave me oral sex, and I ejaculated in her mouth, watching her swallow my semen.
After leaving the park, we ate at a small restaurant in a large village, and then I walked with her around the streets. In a music store, she saw Xin Xiaoqi's album "Taste" and wanted to buy it. I said, "I'll buy it for you," and she agreed. Actually, at the time I didn't know who Xin Xiaoqi was, nor had I heard her songs before, but since it was something she liked, I bought it for her as a gift. I'm ashamed to say that since we met, I've never bought her a gift. Last time I went to Jingbei, she paid for my food and lodging for several days, and I felt a little guilty about that.
After buying the cassette, I asked her, "Is this person's music good?"
"Hehe, you haven't heard it? It's pretty good, but the main thing is the feeling of 'Taste.' When I sing this song, I think of when we were in S, I think of your scent, and I think of the clothes you were wearing then,"
she said. "Oh, I see. What are the lyrics? Why don't you sing it for me?"
I didn't have a tape recorder or anything at the time, and I really wanted to hear what kind of feeling this song she liked had that could evoke so many memories for her.
“Okay, then I’ll sing, and you listen.”
She began to sing softly: “…I thought sadness could be less, I thought I could live well, but who knew that thinking of you, the longing is incurable, there’s nowhere to escape. I miss your smile, I miss your coat, I miss your white socks, and the scent of you. I miss your kiss…the taste of being loved in my memory.”
W’s voice was beautiful, and she sang very well. When she sang about missing your white socks and the scent of you, her eyes were on me, her head nodding slightly to the rhythm of the song, looking very devoted. She continued singing: “…Tonight I have few worries, I don’t know if that’s a good thing.”
Naked loneliness swirled in my heart…as if she were pouring out her longing and love to me.
I was moved, but it wasn’t just the song that moved me, but even more so her feelings for me.
She told me that this song perfectly captured her inner feelings, which was why she loved it so much.
This song, released in winter, always reminds her of a story from that summer that she can never forget: a few days spent in a paradise-like atmosphere by a pure and innocent little girl and a middle-aged man during the scorching July heat. Every time she listens to this song, the scene from that time floats into her mind—those passionate moments, those tender instants. In the quiet of the night, she always loves to listen to this song alone. When Xin Xiaoqi's heavenly voice slowly drifts in from the dim yellow light of the night, filling every corner, countless ripples surge in her heart, tugging at a delicate nerve. She says that the gentle longing flowing in the melodious tune, and the ever-present scent of love, deeply moves her. She says that the "missing...missing..." sung in the song is actually her very real and concrete longing for me.
"Hehe, it's really funny to think about it now. When you fall for someone, you actually like everything about them, including their sweat and their smelly socks. Back then, you were fast asleep in bed while I was washing your smelly socks and underwear in the bathroom. Thinking about it now, I was such a silly wife, like a servant girl being bossed around, and I even felt pretty good about it. When I got home, listening to this song, I kept thinking about the red t-shirt you wore, your khaki casual pants, and your thick white cotton socks. I also remembered how you busied yourself giving me a hot compress, how thoughtful and considerate you were when you did it."
As she spoke, she suddenly changed her tone and teased, "Hehe, after hearing all this, aren't you feeling a little too smug?"
I didn't answer because I didn't know how. My thought at the time was that if we weren't on the street, I would have stripped her naked and taken her hard.
After this breakup, she wrote me this in a letter: loving him meant wanting to be with him forever.
Even a brief separation would cause my longing to grow wildly like a vine, entangling everything related to him, even something as simple as a white sock. When longing overflows, it's like the most diligent craftsman frantically building a sturdy castle, solely to preserve everything about him—his voice, his smile, even the faintest trace of his sweat.
Anything connected to him, regardless of right or wrong, beauty or ugliness, wealth or poverty, is treasured. I was speechless, not replying to her letter, because I couldn't offer her "eternal companionship," because I despised myself for lacking her depth, passion, and tenderness. In my memory, besides the sexual climaxes from those days of frenzied intercourse, besides the psychological pleasure derived from binding and abusing her, besides the comfort of enjoying her care and service, I can't recall much warmth or romance towards her. I know I owe her too much; many times I understand that I don't deserve her love and devotion. Later, after W had left me and married someone else, during a lonely trip, I heard "The Taste" playing again on the train's public address system. A mix of emotions overwhelmed me; the heaviness in my heart made it almost impossible to breathe. Listening to the familiar melody and lyrics, I nearly burst into tears.
Actually, W knew I was a married man with children, and that my marriage and family life were harmonious. She never made any demands of me, not even a hint. She simply loved me, a very pure love, never making me feel awkward, never affecting my work or life. She only hoped that when there was an opportunity, she could spend some quiet time with me, so that her endless longing for me could have a safe harbor. Although she knew I liked her, knew I was infatuated with her youth and body, she never naively thought I would give her the outcome that all lovers hope for.
Moreover, it was precisely because of her selfless love for me that she always indulged and tolerated me in our sex life, even encouraging me to do whatever I wanted with her, to release my pleasure and desires freely and without restraint. During those few days of living together and in the days that followed, her body was completely unguarded with me; she would give me whatever I wanted, no matter how much I asked, she never complained.
Along with the letter, she also sent the lyrics to another song from the album "Taste," expressing her unique emotions and insights into our relationship in this way. The song was called "Understanding," and the lyrics went like this: I thought I would cry, but I didn't. I just stared blankly at your footsteps, giving you my final blessing.
Isn't this a kind of understanding?
Letting me see myself clearly, although the pain of lovelessness will be in the deepest part of my soul day and night.
I thought I would seek revenge, but I didn't. When I saw the man I once loved so deeply, so helpless like a child! Isn't this a kind of understanding?
Letting you see yourself clearly, being loved is a luxurious happiness, but unfortunately you never cared.
Ah! A relationship has ended. Ah! A heart is about to wither.
If our love was a mistake, I hope our suffering wasn't in vain. If we gave our hearts sincerely, we should be content!
Ah! What a painful realization, you were once my everything. But looking back on every step I've taken, I see only loneliness.
Ah! What a painful realization, you were once my everything. I only wish you could break free from the shackles of love, the constraints of affection, and pursue your dreams freely, no longer suffering for love.

URL 1:https://www.sexlove5.com/htmlBlog/211247.html

URL 2:/Blog.aspx?id=211247&aspx=1

Last access time:

Previous Page : Urban Flower Language - Chapter 107: The Elegant Nurse

Next Page : The romantic history of a primary school principal in a mountain village

增加

comment Open a new window to view comments

Contact Information

She asks for nothing in return

comment Open a new window to view comments