A few short jokes/

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Today, I'm sharing a few jokes with you all, hoping they'll make you happy.
Also, I'd like to chat with a few friends. I've been married for a year, don't have children, and my husband is always away on business trips. I get quite bored at home alone, so I often go online. However, I don't have many friends. So, I came here to add some.
I'll give you my QQ number. Please don't spread it around, okay? My QQ number is 252331558.
I'm from Hebei, so friends from Hebei are especially welcome to add me. Feel free to visit my home if you're interested. I'll definitely give you a warm welcome.
However, I also want to warn those who add me on QQ: please don't send me video calls. If you send me a video call without my permission, I will blacklist you. Be careful! I mean what I say. Don't bother me.
You can chat about anything, just don't send me video calls. I only show them to very close friends.

Sun Wukong, on his journey to the West, had an affair with the White Bone Sutra, but was prevented from succeeding by Tang Sanzang. So, while begging for alms along the way, Sun Wukong visited the White Bone Sutra's cave at night. Since there were no lights, they made love in the dark. Afterwards, Sun Wukong exclaimed, "Damn, a demon is a demon, even her hymen is so hard!" The White Bone Sutra retorted, "You're so impatient! I haven't even taken my underwear off yet!"

Revolutionary Diary: September 28, 1949, I was arrested. They tortured me, but I didn't confess!
29th, they tried to bribe me, but I didn't confess!
30th, they sent a female spy... I confessed!
The next day, when I was about to confess again, damn it, we were liberated!

Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei were stranded on a deserted island. Several days later, Zhang Fei wanted to cut off his younger brother to eat. Guan Yu said, "Idiot, rub him a bit before cutting, there'll be more meat!" At this moment, seeing Liu Bei masturbating, Guan Yu asked, "Brother, what are you doing?" Liu Bei: Get some sauce, dip it in...

A little girl went to a bakery to buy breakfast. She said to the owner: "Boss! I want a chocolate doll." The owner: "Do you want a boy or a girl?

" The girl: "Of course I want a boy! Because there are more parts to eat." One day, a noblewoman went to play golf and was bitten by mosquitoes. Because the itching was unbearable, she went to see a doctor. The doctor asked the noblewoman: "Where were you bitten?" The noblewoman: "Probably between the first and second holes!" The doctor said knowingly: "Hmm, I think your legs must be standing very wide apart!"

In an ancient mountain village, an ancient village was discovered. Because they had been isolated from the outside world for generations, like people in a paradise, the outside world became very interested in them. So a beautiful female reporter went to this backward mountain village to interview the locals.
The person she interviewed was an old man in his fifties. After learning about their generations of isolated life, the female reporter was very surprised, and then curious. So she decided to describe the joys and sorrows of their isolated life.
"Excuse me, what's the happiest thing that's happened to you all these years?" the curious female reporter asked.
"One winter, the neighbor's third son's sheep went missing," the old man said.
"A sheep went missing? What's so happy about that?" the reporter asked, even more curious.
"After the sheep went missing, dozens of us went up the mountain with torches to search for it. We searched for three days and three nights, and finally found it in a corner of the back mountain,"
the old man said, taking a puff of his cigarette and squinting his eyes with relish.
"What happened after you found it?" the reporter asked curiously.
"It was already very late when we found it, so we pitched our tents in the snowdrifts to rest. The wind was very strong outside. We were bored. So we all took turns riding the sheep. It was so much fun!"
The reporter was clearly a little embarrassed and wanted to avoid the topic. So she interrupted the old man and asked if there were any other happy things.
"One winter, the new bride of the Ma family in front of us went missing in the mountains," the old man said.
"Was she found?" the reporter pressed.
"We searched for three days and three nights with dozens of people, and finally found her in a corner of the back mountain. So we set up our tents to rest. The wind was strong on winter nights. We were all very bored. So we took turns sleeping with Old Ma's new wife, it was so much fun!" The old man said, tapping his pipe.
The female reporter felt even more embarrassed. She decided to avoid the topic. So she asked, "In these decades of living in isolation, has there been anything sad?"
The old man's face changed suddenly, and his hands began to tremble, almost unable to hold his pipe. Two cloudy tears rolled down his cheeks. His lips trembled several times, and his body seemed to tremble as well. After a long silence, he said,
"...
One winter, I lost...

Please let me go, I'm so old, my flesh is sour, it's not tasty." Old Zhang leaned against the corner of the wall, with no way to go forward or backward, as two fierce ghosts approached step by step. "The flesh is sour?" The male ghost grabbed Old Zhang's hand and bit off a chunk of flesh, causing Old Zhang to scream in agony. The ghost chewed and chewed, then spat the flesh out with a "plop," saying, "Damn it, it's so sour, so disgusting! You old fool, you're lucky you survived, get lost!" Old Zhang, feeling pardoned, kowtowed dozens of times on the ground. Losing a piece of flesh was better than losing his life, and he was about to leave when
another female ghost screamed, "Stop!"
The male ghost was puzzled. "Why keep this old thing around? And the flesh is sour, it's not tasty!"
The female ghost whispered in his ear, "I want something sour..."
The male ghost was even more confused. "Why?"
The female ghost poked his head with her finger and said shyly, "You bad boy, I, I, I'm pregnant!"

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A few short jokes/

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