!~Featured Post [Wolf General's Strongest Post][Jokes Despising the Japanese] If you are Chinese, please reply voluntarily.

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

A Japanese
soldier, who thought he knew a few Chinese characters, was wandering the streets when he got hungry and started looking for a restaurant. He came across a small noodle shop and saw the signboard with the words "Beef Noodles," "Pork Chop Noodles," and "Simple Meals."
Intrigued, he went inside.
A busy waiter rushed over and asked, "Sir, what kind of noodles would you like?"
"I'd like..." the soldier replied, wanting to show off his Chinese character knowledge. He turned to look at the vertically written characters on the signboard and read them horizontally: "I'd like a bowl of 'beef' 'poop'..." He pronounced the word "poop" quite loudly, enunciating each word clearly.
The other diners stared at the soldier in astonishment, whispering, "That bastard, he's really something!"

Who was he trying to fool?
A Japanese soldier came to Beijing to study Chinese, working very hard.
More than ten years later, he could not only speak Mandarin but also Cantonese and Hakka, without a trace of a Japanese accent.
"Now no one should mistake me for a Japanese soldier anymore..." he thought.
One day, he traveled to a small fishing port in Tianjin and saw an old man catching shrimp.
On a whim, full of confidence, he greeted the old man in Mandarin: "Old man! Do you know where I'm from?"
The old man replied, "I can't quite tell from your accent..."
The Japanese soldier was delighted, thinking, "I never imagined my Chinese had improved so much, it's practically perfect..."
At this moment, the old man looked him over and said, "If you can count the shrimp I've caught, I'll know where you're from."
The Japanese soldier then began to count in remarkably standard pronunciation: "One, two, three... fifty... one hundred... two..." "One hundred..."
After counting for over an hour, he proudly replied, "Nine thousand seven hundred and eighty-seven shrimp! Old man, I bet you'll never guess where I'm from!!"
The old man laughed and said, "I know! You must be Japanese! Hahaha..."
The Japanese soldier was very surprised, but still asked the old man in standard Mandarin, "You...you...how did you know?"
The old man replied, "Ah, that's simple. Chinese people ask about fish and shrimp by weight, not as stupid as you!" One day, a Japanese soldier working in China went to the countryside to hunt wild ducks.

When he finally managed to shoot one, it fell into a farmer's yard. The Japanese soldier climbed over the fence to retrieve his prey. But the farmer, who had witnessed everything, brandished his hunting rifle and shouted, "Look here! You're not allowed to hunt randomly in China!" The Japanese soldier replied, "I shot the duck, so it should be mine. I'm willing!" The farmer said, "It flew in China, and even though you shot it, it still landed in China. You're coming with me to the village to pay the fine!" They continued arguing about the duck. After a while, the Japanese soldier said, "We should decide this in the traditional way. In the spirit of Japanese Bushido!" The farmer, who looked down on Bushido, scoffed, "What is the Bushido method?" The Japanese soldier explained, "First, I kick your butt. Then you kick mine, and we kick each other like that until one gives up. The winner gets the duck." The farmer thought for a moment and agreed to the contest. But he insisted on kicking first to show fairness. He was thinking of avenging his fellow villagers who had been killed more than sixty years ago, but he knew even more clearly that he couldn't kill the Japanese soldier now. Then, the Chinese farmer stretched his leg back and kicked the Japanese soldier's butt with all his might. The Japanese soldier, writhing in agony, collapsed to the ground, groaning and screaming. Ten minutes later, he tried to get up, gritting his teeth and hoarsely saying, "Now it's my turn." The Chinese farmer said, "Oh, no need, this duck is yours, you can go back now." A Japanese soldier cut in line and hurriedly entered the butcher shop, arrogantly shouting at the Chinese clerk, "Hey! Cut me 100 yen's worth of beef! Feed it to the dog!" Then, he turned to a girl waiting in line and winked, saying, "Hey, Chinese woman! You don't mind if I buy first, do you?" The girl coldly replied, "Of course not, you're starving. Let you buy, so you don't spread rabies." A lighthearted retort : In ancient Japan, it was considered an honor to be knowledgeable about Chinese culture and history. However, after the First Sino-Japanese War, the Japanese, who had defeated China, began to dare to despise the Chinese. One day, at a university in Tokyo, a Japanese worker was eating his lunchbox when he saw a Chinese student passing by. The Japanese soldier deliberately asked loudly, "Do you know a Chinese man named Bi Sheng?" The soldier deliberately answered loudly, "No. China will soon be gone. It will be Japan's Bi Sheng!" The Chinese student glared at them angrily and asked, "Do you know Wu Dalang?" The soldier replied, "No." The Chinese student said, "You bastards! Listen up! You only deserve ancestors like that!" The stubborn Japanese soldier designed a universal computer and openly showed it off in China, holding an exhibition. A Chinese programmer went to visit it. The Japanese man smugly told him, "You can ask any question, and this computer will give you the correct answer!" So the programmer typed in the question: "What is my brother-in-law doing out of town?" The Japanese man typed in the question, and a moment later the answer appeared: "Your brother-in-law is fishing at the beach!" "Nonsense!" the programmer said, "My brother-in-law has been dead for ten years!" The Japanese man insisted, "Our Japanese computers don't make mistakes! You asked the wrong question!" So the programmer asked again, "Where is my sister's husband?" The computer replied, "He has been dead for ten years, but your brother-in-law is fishing at the beach." The programmer cursed, "You Japanese bastards! My sister has also been dead for ten years! How come you've made up a story about her remarrying?!" With that, he turned and left, loudly telling the surrounding visitors as he went. At this moment, the Japanese soldier hurriedly typed furiously on the keyboard again, then chased after the programmer's retreating figure, saying, "Sir, please wait. The computer says... they're all dead, and they're fishing in the underworld now." The programmer slapped the Japanese soldier hard across the face, angrily saying, "I knew the Japanese were lying again. I don't have a sister at all!" The story of "Little Dog Jumping Off a Building" goes that after China conquered Tokyo, Chinese right-wingers shouted for revenge, and "Little Dog Stupid Mantis" and others were hunted down daily. "Mantis" and the others thought: rather than be killed by the Chinese, they would rather jump off a building. That day, they steeled themselves and jumped off a building together. Although they all fell and were crooked in the mouth, bleeding from all seven orifices, all their suicide attempts failed. As a result, they were arrested by the indigenous police organized by the Japanese Autonomous Region, prosecuted, and sentenced. The charge was: "littering." The story of the "Savage People " goes that the Japanese have a habit of eating human flesh. Evidence of the Japanese eating human flesh can be found on various websites. One day, a mixed-race man took his whole family on a trip, talking about eating human flesh along the way, saying he had never eaten Europeans.

During lunchtime, the flight attendant asked, "Sir, what would you like for lunch? Steak?"
The Japanese student shook his head .
The flight attendant asked again, "How about chicken?"
The Japanese student still shook his head.
The flight attendant said, "Sir, what would you like to eat?"
The Japanese student said, "Show me the passenger list."
Soon after, his entire family was hacked to death. It is said that Japanese students are very arrogant in China. Chinese students, of course, disapprove. However, beating up Japanese students is what Chinese schools fear most, like beating up the principal's father. Therefore, many want to beat them up, but few actually do it openly. So, a Chinese student said to a Japanese student, "I had a very exciting dream yesterday." The Japanese student eagerly asked, "What kind of dream? Tell me about it." The Chinese student said, "In my dream, you were the male lead!" The Japanese student was overjoyed: "Really? Am I a handsome prince charming?" The Chinese student said, "No! I dreamt that you were holding a kitchen knife, panting as you chased after a pig." The Japanese student was puzzled: "I was chasing a pig?" The Chinese student said, "Yes! You were running until you were drenched in sweat, and then the pig ran into a dead end." The Japanese student asked doubtfully, "And then?" The Chinese student said, "You happily approached it, and the pig suddenly knelt down and begged for mercy, saying, 'We are of the same root, why are you so eager to harm me?'" A Japanese man owned a company in China and became wealthy. He started to flaunt his wealth, telling his Chinese employees in broken Chinese that he wanted to rent the most expensive house in the city. The Chinese employees thought they had to teach him a lesson. So, they made him rent a cheap house next to a crematorium at a high price. The Japanese, fearing he'd forget the address, had his employee write it down. The employee wrote on a slip of paper: "Next to the crematorium, a certain villa area." One day, the Japanese got lost in the dark. He pulled out the slip of paper and stammered, asking a passerby for directions. The passerby recognized his identity as Japanese and looked at the paper. So the passerby said, "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while, and someone will take you there." A strange thing happened one day: a Chinese man and a Japanese man arrived in Heaven. The angel asked their nationalities and then gave the Chinese man a common room with simple meals. The Japanese man, however, was given a suite with luxurious food and clothing. A few days later, all the Chinese people in Heaven protested. The angel patiently explained: "For thousands of years, Heaven has been crowded with Chinese people. Only today has a Japanese man arrived who is allowed to enter Heaven. If I don't treat this fellow well, who should I treat?" " The Chinese were speechless. A Japanese soldier's son was to be drafted into the army. According to custom, he should first go to a temple to pray for divine protection. His father thought the city temples were too crowded and insisted on finding a remote temple in the countryside, arguing, 'Too many people worship city gods, they can't remember them all. Since fewer people worship country gods, he will remember us and take special care of our son.' So they went to Ryukyu. As a result, their son was assigned to Ryukyu. When the news came, his father exclaimed, 'Oh no, we prayed to the wrong one! Ryukyu is trying to become independent!' Could it be that a Japanese actor came to China to perform, a stunt performer, whose act was juggling steel knives? Three…four…five steel knives were tossed around. One night after his performance, he took the knives and was about to return to his hotel alone when he was stopped by a policeman. The policeman asked, 'Why are you carrying a weapon in your car?' The actor replied, 'I'm a stunt performer, these are my props.'" " Police: 'I don't believe you, show me.' The Japanese actor then began performing a steel knife-throwing act on the roadside… At this moment, someone in the car that had been pulled over behind them said, 'Oh?… Now the police dare to be strict with Japanese people too! Good! That's what you call 'national treatment.' Stop with the nonsense about the 'Foreign Affairs Office.' It turns out that these two newly arrived Japanese, although they didn't understand much Chinese, still wanted to put on an air of superiority. "

URL 1:https://www.sexlove5.com/htmlBlog/209668.html

URL 2:/Blog.aspx?id=209668&aspx=1

Last access time:

Previous Page : Urban Romance - Chapter 2273 Peeping Through the Window

Next Page : My Wife's Affair - Chapter 099: She Actively Seduced My Husband

增加

comment Open a new window to view comments

Contact Information

!~Featured Post [Wolf General's Strongest Post][Jokes Despising the Japanese] If you are Chinese, please reply voluntarily.

comment Open a new window to view comments