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Mark - My Sexual History (The Beginning) 

    page views:1  Publication date:2023-03-24  
Every day I linger between sex and desire, and I always feel the need to summarize my own sexual history. Every man
has his own sexual history, but it's just stored in the deepest safe of his memory, and
so do ... Looking back, I was probably a rather precocious boy.

In elementary school, I did well in my studies, and the only one in my class who could rival me was Yuan Li (probably not Er
Li). She came from a high-ranking military family, but she wasn't at all the rigidity typical of those from military backgrounds. She had a wide range of extracurricular interests
and was full of energy, which was a major factor in why she became my idol back then.

Every day after school, in order to spend a few more minutes with her, I would always stand in her line, even though
it meant taking a 5-minute detour. After school, I was always full of energy and the most restless in the line,
mainly because I wanted to attract her attention. I got into many fights with classmates for this, and it was probably during this time that I developed my never
-give-up spirit.

Because of acute hepatitis I had as a child, I was thinner and weaker than my peers. In every fight, I was always
at a disadvantage; I was repeatedly knocked down and pinned beneath others. But I kept getting up, repeatedly
flipping over opponents stronger or more experienced than me. The moment they exhausted their strength, I would suddenly counterattack, and
I was never the one subdued!

She probably enjoyed watching us boys fight; I could even feel
the approval in her eyes. Therefore, she never used her position as class monitor to report these things to the teacher.
Both sides of us who fought were grateful for this.

These happy days only lasted until elementary school graduation. When it came time to enter middle school, she underperformed and
missed getting into the provincial key middle school by half a point, leaving me depressed for the entire summer vacation.

The boring vacation finally ended, and the first day of middle school was about class assignments and seating arrangements. Unlike elementary school, middle school
seating wasn't boy-girl pairing anymore, a change that left me feeling somewhat disappointed. But then I realized
the girls sitting in front of and behind me were all quite attractive, which made me feel much more at ease, especially Wang Fang, who sat to my side and behind. Her precocious
figure was enough to make her stand out among the other first-year girls. Every time my gaze drifted past her slightly open neckline, I
was always struck by that dazzling white light.

Her house happened to be near mine, and every day I would linger on the roadside until she caught up with me from behind.
For the next three years, I enjoyed this simple happiness every day.

In the second and third years of middle school, a strange term began to appear in the conversations of my classmates: "dangbao
," roughly equivalent to the current online term "picking up girls." Amidst the gossip of my classmates, she finally could
n't the strange looks anymore. I finally received a letter from her; she said that after graduating from high school, she could freely
date me. (N years after graduating high school, I saw her again and we exchanged phone numbers, but I
never called.) Actually, we were completely platonic; we didn't even hold hands! Around this time, I experienced nocturnal emissions and masturbation.

After entering high school, the childishness on my face gradually faded, and my handsome features began to attract
the attention . But in an unfamiliar high school, I felt out of place. Although my name was Fangyan,
I couldn't speak the local dialect. Whenever my standard Mandarin and their local dialect mingled together, the awkwardness of the mutual
influence quickly became apparent.

Near the end of my first year of high school, God sent Shen Yan...

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