Beijing Stories (Repost) 17

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Chapter Seventeen

I told my mother about Lin Jingping. Initially, she thought Lin's background was too low, and she preferred I marry someone
from a family or an intellectual family. I thought, somewhat amused, that Lan Yu should fit that description.
The moment Jingping stepped into my house, I knew everything was settled. Her warm, humble, and polite
demeanor won my mother's favor, and even my two younger sisters said she was nice. Seeing my mother's happy expression
, I felt particularly gratified.

I thought Lan Yu and I would temporarily return to our peaceful and pleasant relationship, but that wasn't the case
. Arguments had become an indispensable part of our lives. We didn't
argue about anything of principle, not even about my marriage, but over trivial matters, we were always unhappy. Fortunately
, we quickly made up; Lan Yu always took the initiative to reconcile.

One day, Lan Yu and I went out and saw a long line of people queuing at the entrance of Tianjin University. I asked Lan Yu,

"What's going on here?"

"Probably registering for the TOEFL exam!"

"So enthusiastic!"

"Our school's '82 Biology Department,' one class has completely left!"

"Do you want to go abroad?" I asked.

"I can't, now you need an overseas Chinese certificate to go! And it's hard to get connections in architecture!"

"If you really want to go, I'll help you. Just get an official visa, go with a tour group, and transfer to
a student visa after arriving in the US, it's very easy."

He fell silent again; he must be unhappy again. I ignored him.

"Are you in such a hurry to kick me out?" he asked after a long pause.

I still didn't answer him.

"I don't want to go anywhere, I just love Beijing!" His tone was defiant.

"Dr. Shi is absolutely right! You're a fanatic!" I said fiercely.

Every time we argued to this point, he would laugh again and say something ingratiating.

That day, I returned to "Nordic" and heard pop songs playing on the stereo. Lan Yu had never liked
pop songs ; he preferred folk music, especially erhu music. There were two songs I wasn't familiar with, only remembering a few
lines of the lyrics: "My dear, don't say goodbye... Maybe a gust of wind will blow, maybe a shower will fall
... The one who loves you most is me, how could you bear to see me sad? When I needed you most,
you left without a word..."

I

started intentionally reducing my trips back to "Nordic," telling Lan Yu I was going back to my mother's house, but actually
spending most of my time with Lin Jingping in the "temporary village." Later, I realized Lan Yu didn't stay in "
Nordic ; unless I went back, he stayed at school.

Although I had proposed to Lin, I hadn't mentioned a specific date or made any arrangements.
Subconsciously always hoped to resolve Lan Yu's situation first.

One day in August, after dinner, I told him I was taking him to meet some friends.

"I don't want to meet your friends, you hate them." He wasn't as obedient as before.

"You're definitely interested, they're all the same as us."

He looked at me, puzzled.

"They all do this kind of thing." I explained with a mysterious smile.

He looked at me suspiciously at first, then slowly his eyes turned angry:

"You've had your fun! You want to get rid of them, right?"

I didn't understand what he meant at first.

"Are we going to see Wang Yonghong?!... You fucking bastard!!" he roared
, getting up and rushing out of the restaurant.

He went straight to his car, opened the door, and jumped in. I rushed out
after him, ran to him, and through the open car window, grabbed his arm forcefully.

"Get out! Go take a taxi!" he yelled at me.

"You can't drive like that! It's too dangerous!" I said anxiously.

He ignored me, pulled his arm away from my hand, and started the car...

"Stop!! I beg you! Are you trying to kill yourself?!" I yelled, grabbing his shoulders.

He slammed on the gas. ...

"I'm a bastard! I'm not human! Okay? Stop! You can't go and die!" My voice
trembled with tears. I clung to him tightly, almost being dragged away by the car.

He slammed on the brakes. ... In the silence, I heard his trembling breaths. He
gripped the steering wheel, his head slumped, and I thought I heard a sob. It was a man desperately suppressing
his tears.

"I didn't mean it at all! How could I do that! I just wanted you to meet more
people in the industry, to cheer you up!" I choked back tears as I explained.

A few people stood watching the commotion in the distance. ...

He remained silent the whole way. I slowly drove back to 'Nordic,' and we went inside silently. I sat
on the sofa, and he went upstairs, probably to his workspace; he'd been particularly fond of spending time there lately.

“Hey! Lan Yu!” I called him.

He turned to look at me.

“Would you like to sit with me for a while?” I said softly.

He hesitated for a moment, then went downstairs and sat on the sofa next to me.

“Sit here.” I wanted him to sit next to me.

He sat down, and I reached out and put my arm around him. He didn’t refuse, but his stiff body seemed reluctant.

“How’s the school placement going?” I hadn’t asked him about his job in a long time.

“I’ve been working for a while now!” he said coldly.

“You should tell me… what company?” I was busy with business, my official dreams, and my
entanglement with Lin, and I almost ignored him.

“Cheng Jiu Company, it’s a construction company that was demobilized from the military.”

He had told me that he hoped to go to a design institute, which was definitely not his ideal outcome.

“If you don’t like that company, go to a foreign company. I have a friend who is
a Chinese .” I said,

“I’ve already signed a five-year contract.”

“Whatever! I’ll let you go after paying some money!”

“Hmph! You trust money that much!” His tone was mocking.

I had to change the subject again.

Do you know a place in Beijing called "One Two Three"? Many people like you and me go there.
"We're just ordinary people!" I emphasized the word "ordinary.

" "Why have you never said that before?" He seemed surprised and quite interested.

"I was afraid you wouldn't like it," I lied again.

"I thought we were the only two like this in all of Beijing!" He chuckled softly.

"Actually, there are many. You'd never know unless you stepped into that circle. I rarely go to those places
; the people there are a mixed bag, you have to be careful." As I spoke, I felt a pang of pain. The thought of him with
other men... felt like a punch to the gut.

He listened intently, head bowed in my arms. I continued,

"I heard there's a park, some public restrooms are places where they do this. I never go,
and you absolutely mustn't go either! It's dangerous; apparently, some people have been arrested by the police." Saying these words, I felt a painful
helplessness.

He nestled deeper into my arms, silent. Remembering something important, I added,

"By the way, I've already completed the transfer of ownership for this house and car. Now it's your property
!" "If you don't like the house, you can sell it and start a company. Everyone's going into business these days!"

He remained silent, so I had to find something else to say:

"Be careful driving next time! Never drive like you did today. Don't be reckless!
"

He suddenly got up from the sofa, stood opposite me, and smiled—a smile that seemed sweet, but was tinged with contempt
and indifference:

"Is there anything else you haven't told me? You're really thoughtful when you're in a good mood!" Before I
could answer, he turned and went upstairs, casually saying, "I'm going to take a shower and go to bed."

That

night, Lan Yu and I made love again. I kept kissing and caressing him. I looked at his face
, his eyes, and I gave him oral sex; he ejaculated. He got up, wanting to give me oral sex too

. "Turn around, I want to do it like that," I gestured for anal sex.

He lay down on his stomach and said indifferently, "That should cost extra!" Hearing this

, I suddenly deflated and went limp. I wanted to tell him the truth: I wanted him, but
I was too ashamed to say it. Did I hate him? He hadn't done anything wrong...

I turned off the light and lay down... In the darkness, I felt Lan Yu begin to kiss my body
... He stopped, and softly, as if pleading, said,

"Handong, you're not angry, are you? You can do whatever you want! That's not what I meant..."

... I let the tears flow silently...

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