Beijing Stories (Repost) 19

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

Chapter Nineteen:

Loss! It was a sense of loss I had never felt before! I felt like I had lost something important, something I
couldn't get back. But no matter what, reason told me I couldn't play with fire anymore!

Fortunately, the joy of the wedding quickly overwhelmed my melancholy. The wedding was held in the banquet hall of "Jinghua,"
lively, grand, and respectable. I saw my mother's face beaming with smiles. In a small
gathering with close friends, everyone did all sorts of fun things. Jingping and I ate apples and candies hanging in the air together. We were
forced to recount our courtship and even sang an underground version of "Husband and Wife Returning Home Together."... I truly
felt happy, not only because I had Lin Jingping, but more so because I received the blessings of my family and friends.

This was my first marriage, but I was no stranger to married life. Although Lanyu and I didn't have a
legal agreement, we had experienced a simple yet fulfilling life like other couples.

Lin Jingping quit her previous job; she wanted to work at my company. I didn't like it, but
I agreed to her request. In our married life, I slowly began to get to know Lin again. She
was very particular about everything she ate, drank, wore, and used. She only used designer brands, and even the toilet paper in the bathroom was of a high standard. She
told me that the so-called designer brands in China were all garbage, and things from Hong Kong were also terrible. She had heard that only
some famous shops in Japan and on Fifth Avenue in New York were truly high-end. She went to the beauty salon in the hotel every day for
facials or to get her hair done. She hired a live-in nanny because her long, beautifully manicured
hands couldn't do housework... I didn't mind how much she spent on these things; I was just
surprised that someone from a poor family, a poor student, a working-class girl, could enjoy her wealth so freely.

She wasn't particularly satisfied with the Japanese-imported Honda I gave her; she would have preferred a
Mercedes. She once asked me why I didn't buy a villa in the suburbs, and I said I preferred to live closer to the city. Yet
she remained so gentle, sweet, and generous.

That day, after making love, she nestled in my arms, and I looked into her misty, dreamy eyes:

"Hmph! You're like a cunning little she-wolf!" I said with a laugh.

"What are you?" she laughed.

"I'm like a clumsy, fat sheep!"

"Ha! You big bad guy!" she laughed and hit me.

"Actually, you're a clever, romantic, passionate, cautious, and cunning playboy." She
was a little carried away, but her assessment of me wasn't without merit.

Time flew by, and it had been half a year since I broke up with Lan Yu. We both kept our promise and hadn't
contacted each other again. But every time my phone rang, I wondered if it was Lan Yu calling, unsure whether it was fear or
anticipation. His behavior when we broke up surprised me; he was calm, rational, and composed. He
was stronger than I had imagined, which lessened my worries.

I tried not to think about Lan Yu or our relationship, but I thought of him when I made love to Lin.
I touched Lin Jingping's fair, full body and looked at her beautiful face, but this did little to arouse my
desire. I closed my eyes, and Lan Yu's delicate, handsome face reappeared in my mind. I seemed to
be touching his smooth shoulders and back, his healthy, elastic skin... My
penis gradually began to erect. I dared not think any further, because I wanted to lick his body, which would shatter the dream
. I hurriedly lifted Lin's legs and inserted my penis, but what was even more painful was that I couldn't
ejaculate for a long time because it wasn't stimulating enough. I had to rely on fantasy to reach orgasm again.

After that, Lin and I mostly had sex from behind. At first, it was okay, but gradually it became less and less
satisfying . I could only rely more on masturbation to solve my sexual desire. Finally, I decided to go find other boys.

It was a boy I had only met a few times. He was about twenty-five or twenty-six years old and was introduced
to me by a friend. My memory of him was very faint, only that there was a kind of intelligence in his eyes, revealing cleverness and
alertness. It must have been because I hadn't had sex with a man in a long time; I was incredibly aroused with the boy, and as
I approached climax, I started yelling incoherently. Afterwards, the boy laughed and asked if it was because
my old friend was named Lan Yu, and that's why I was yelling during sex…

I thought I should call Lan Yu, not for anything else, but at least to know how he was doing. I
called his cell phone, but it was off, so I called his workplace. A woman answered:

"Excuse me, could you help me find Lan Yu?" I said,

"Who are you?" she asked. I hate being questioned when trying to find someone over the phone.

"I'm his college classmate," I said patiently.

"He doesn't work here anymore." She said calmly,

"He transferred?"

"He was fired!" she said impatiently

. "…Why?!" I was shocked.

"I don't know!" the woman's attitude was very bad. I had no choice but to hang up.

In the evening, I called "Nordic," but no one answered. Until one o'clock in the morning, it was still
the same result. The next day, I asked Liu Zheng to check the call
history of Lan Yu's mobile phone and the "Nordic" phone at the telephone exchange. The company would still cover the costs for both phones. He came back and told me that neither
phone . A sense of foreboding crept in.

"Why don't I go to his workplace and ask what's going on?" Liu Zheng suggested.

"Let's go together!" I was afraid of hearing some terrible news...

Liu

Zheng, carrying a letter of introduction, lied and said he was there to investigate because he was preparing to hire Lan Yu. A security guard
and a personnel officer received us...

"

It's like this, about five months ago, the company received several faxes exposing some of Lan Yu's
hooligan behavior," the personnel officer said.

"..." Liu Zheng and I were both dumbfounded.

"That kid seemed like a decent guy when he first arrived, a college student from 'Huada,' and quite handsome too
. Who would have thought he was a male prostitute!" The security guard added, beaming.

"Can I see that fax?" Liu Zheng was quick to respond.

"I have a copy here," the security guard said eagerly.

Probably because it was so old, the fax was quite blurry; it was computer-printed, and it...
The fax said Lan Yu was seducing men and making money off them. It said he frequented various restaurants, soliciting business and providing sexual services to
men …

Looking at the fax, I couldn't tell if I was angry or terrified; I just felt something stuck in my throat and
wanted to vomit.

“These claims aren't necessarily true. Since he doesn't admit it, it's hard to draw
conclusions based on just a fax,” said the personnel officer wearing green military trousers.

“But look at what he wears and uses. Where would a recent graduate get so much money? I heard his
watch is very valuable!” the security guard retorted.

I painfully remembered that it was a Rolex I bought for Lan Yu in America.

“So you fired him?” Liu Zheng asked the personnel officer.

“No, we didn't fire him. We made him resign, and he agreed. Hey! A student, only in his early twenties
, how bad could he be? He did a pretty good job, diligent and responsible. He got along well with everyone. You
say he seduced men… but I didn't see him seducing anyone in the unit.” The forty-something
veteran had an air of righteousness about him.

"If you want to hire him, you can give it a try. He's a student from a prestigious university. But be careful
of AIDS!" the personnel officer added.

"He has AIDS?!" Liu Zheng and I exclaimed simultaneously.

"People like him all have AIDS, didn't you know? Our infirmary doctor said so,"
the veteran said seriously.

I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time! My stomach churned violently, and I felt like vomiting.

Leaving "City Construction No. 9," Liu Zheng asked me,

"Who's such a bastard, doing such a despicable thing? It's so shady!"

"Where do you think he'll go?" I asked.

"He'll probably look for other jobs! He definitely won't leave the construction industry."

...

He doesn't even live in "Nordic." Where does he live? Why didn't he come to see me? We agreed that he'd
come to me if there was an emergency. Judging from the timing, the day he received the fax was when I was getting married. Maybe
he came to see me, but I didn't know? Can he pull through? He won't do anything stupid, will he? These questions
kept running . My stomach felt like it was cramping.

I tried everything to find out about Lan Yu and investigate the source of that fax, but to no
avail For the first time, I realized how vast Beijing truly was. No one in my circle knew him,
and he was nowhere to be found in Beijing's construction industry. I didn't know his home phone number, but I had his address. I asked Liu Zheng to help me go to the Northwest.
His father said he hadn't contacted his family for almost a year; he had completely disappeared…

It's hard to describe how I felt then. Although it wasn't as painful as when we broke up, it was very oppressive
. I was surrounded by fear and guilt. I was afraid something had happened to him, afraid of the torment of my conscience. I'm
usually a cheerful person, but during that time, I became melancholic.

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Beijing Stories (Repost) 19

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