If you don't laugh, I'll cry; if you do, I'll laugh!!!

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

A classic dialogue between a man and a woman chatting in an internet cafe
: GG: Hey!
MY: Hey! Where are you?
GG: I'm in Wangbali. And you? MY:
Me too.
GG: Where are you from?
MY: I'm from Guizhou. And you?
GG: I'm from Shandong.
MY: Are you male or female?
GG: Of course I'm female. You must be a girl, right?
MY: Yes. GG: Are you unlucky?
MY: Not bad, people say I'm a very unlucky girl. Are you unlucky?
GG: Not bad, many people say I'm a very unlucky guy.
MY: Really? Let's be more considerate, okay?
GG: Okay, what's your QQ number?
MY: Let's not use QQ, QQ is too expensive, do you have QQ?
GG: Yes. MY: What's your QQ number?
GG: **********, you're so cute, I really want to meet you.
mm: Take your time. Even though we're far apart, we'll still meet up.

The most frustrating things for a GM:
1. Username: "Don't Know"
Reporter: "GM, I'm reporting.
" GM: "Who?"
Reporter: "Don't know."
GM: "...Get lost..."

2. Username: "Please Wait"
Reporter: "GM, I'm reporting."
GM: "Who?"
Reporter: "Please wait."
GM: "Okay, hurry up!"
One minute later...
GM: "Who is it?"
Reporter: "Wait a minute!!!"
GM: "Wait my ass, get lost..."

3. Name: "It's me"
Reporter: "I'm reporting!!!"
GM: "Who?"
Reporter: "It's me"
GM: "Very well, I'll grant your wish... Ban!"
Reporter: "...Help..."

4. Name: "Just kidding"
Reporter: "GM, I'm reporting"
GM: "Reporting again? Who?"
Reporter: "Just kidding"
GM: "Go home and drink your milk if you have nothing better to do, get lost!"

5. Name: "Hehehehehe"
Reporter: "GM, someone is using cheats, I'm reporting"
GM: "Okay, who is it?"
Reporter: "Hehehehehe" GM:
"...Who is it?"
Reporter: "Hehehehehe"
GM: "Someone, call the mental hospital..."

6. Name: "I'm your dad"
Reporter: "GM, someone is using cheats"
GM: "Who?"
Reporter: "I'm your dad"
GM: "I'm your grandpa!"

7. Username: 'Not Me'
Reporter: 'I'm reporting someone using cheats.
' GM: '****, who?'
Reporter: 'Not me.'
GM: '??? Then who is it?'
Reporter: 'It's definitely not me.'
GM: 'You fucking nonsense, if it's not you, then who is it?'
Reporter: 'Really, it's not me.' GM
: 'Get the f***ing...'

8. Username: 'GM Ah'
Reporter: 'GM brother, someone is using cheats, I'm reporting.
' GM: 'Okay, who is it?' Reporter: 'It's "GM Ah"
GM: 'Who? Who did you say?'
Reporter: 'GM Ah'
GM: '***, do I need to use cheats? I'll wipe you out!***'

9. Username: 'I'm Dead'
Reporter: 'GM, someone is using cheats, I'm reporting.'
GM: '**** kid, I've been messed with all day, and you're filing a false report. I'll kill you, tell me who it is?'
Reporter: 'I'm dead.'
GM: 'You f***ing, what are you doing if you're dead? Come find me when you're alive.'

10. Name: I'd rather die than tell
the reporter. Reporter: "GM, I'm reporting."
GM: "Reporting again? Who?"
Reporter: "I'd rather die than tell."
GM: "*!

You've got nothing better to do, get the hell out of here!" 11. Name: "Go to hell."
Reporter: "GM, I'm reporting."
GM: "Who?"
Reporter: "Go to hell.
" GM: "...Dare to curse me? You son of a bitch, get the hell out of here... I'll ban your account."

12. Name: Send me money first
. Reporter: "GM, I'm reporting."
GM: "Still reporting? How annoying! Who?"
Reporter: "Send me money first." 13. Named
"

Forgot what his name is"
Reporter: gm. Someone is using cheats. I'm reporting him.
gm: Okay. Tell me his name?
Reporter: "Forgot what his name is" gm
: Oh my god. Go back and think about it.
Reporter: No need to think, gm. I know.
gm: If you know, just say it?
Reporter: Forgot what his name is.
gm: Go home and sleep.

14. Named "Just kidding"
Reporter: "gm, I'm reporting him"
gm: Who?
Reporter: "Just kidding" gm: "Go home and play if you want
. Get lost."

15. Named "Can't say"
Reporter: "gm, I'm reporting him"
gm: "Who?"
Reporter: "Can't say"
gm: "Don't be afraid, I'll back you up, say it!"
Reporter: "Can't say, I just can't say it"
gm: Damn, if you can't say it, then get lost.

16. Naming: Gone
Reporter: GM. I'm reporting
. GM: Okay. Player, please speak
. Reporter: Missing.
GM: Please tell me the player ID
. Reporter: Really missing.
GM: Find me again when you see me!!!

17: Naming: It's none of your business
. Reporter: Reporting to GM, there's a cheater online
. GM: Who? Reporter: It's none of your business online. GM: Nonsense, I don't care, why should you care? Reporter: It's none of your business! GM: Say it again. Reporter: It's none of your business!!! GM: Someone, censor this for me, then I'll ban him... Reporter: The world is a mess! People's hearts are a mess! I'm so wronged!!!!!!!!! 18: Name: I ran too fast and didn't see it Reporter : GM, someone is using cheats! GM: Who is it? Reporter: I ran too fast and didn't see it ! GM: Tell me when you see it! Reporter: I saw it! GM: Then tell me! Reporter: I ran too fast and didn't see it! GM: You want to die? You've been messing with me all day! I'm going to ban your account!!!! Reporter: .... I'm so wronged!! I'll also play the Three Kingdoms incest secrets 1. As expected of the eldest brother It is said that when Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei were just starting out, they were captured by their enemies and thrown onto a deserted island in the sea. The three lived on the island for several months. One day, a woman drifted ashore. The three were overjoyed, finally able to satisfy their sexual needs. All three wanted to have sex with the woman. To be fair, the three decided to take turns, each person was only allowed to do it 4 times in one round, and then the next person would take their place. Zhang Fei had no experience, so he went first, counted "1, 2, 3, 4", and did it 4 times Next, it was Guan Yu's turn. Guan Yu was a bit smarter; he counted "1," "2," "3," "4," before reluctantly stopping, letting Liu Bei take his turn. Liu Bei then slowly counted, "1234, 2234, 3234, change positions, one more time, 1234, 2234..." 2. The Story of Scraping the Bone to Remove Poison: It is said that Guan Yu's arm was shot by a poisoned arrow. Hua Tuo scraped the bone to remove the poison. Guan Yu asked Hua Tuo, "Doctor, will this injury affect my sex life?" Hua Tuo thought for a moment and said, "Well, that depends on which hand you usually use." 3. A Dou's Diary : It is said that when A Dou was young... One day, A Dou asked Liu Bei, "Dad, where did I come from?" Liu Bei, thinking he shouldn't let the child know things he shouldn't know, replied, "You fell from the sky." That night, A Dou wrote in his diary: "Dad and Mom have no sex life." 4. An ominous sign: Dian Wei fought to save Cao Cao in Wancheng. Jia Xu warned him, "Be careful, there might be bloodshed, because you carry an ominous sign!" After Dian Wei died, his ghost found Jia Xu and cursed, "What nonsense are you spouting? Saying that wearing a bra will bring bloodshed? I took off my bra before going to Wancheng, and I still died!!" 5. A somewhat cynical story about Zhang Fei's marriage: Zhang Fei was rather foolish and didn't understand how to have sex, so he went to ask Zhuge Liang. Zhuge Liang thought, "If I explain it too deeply, he won't understand; if I explain it too simply, I'll seem too vulgar. What should I do?" Just then, two horses were mating by the river. Zhuge Liang's eyes lit up. He had an idea and said to Zhang Fei, "Did you see those two horses? Did you see what they were doing? Go back and do it like that." Zhang Fei went back. A few days later, Zhuge Liang saw Zhang Fei and asked, "Yide, how is your sex life?" Zhang Fei replied, "It's good, but..." Zhuge Liang asked, "But what?" Zhang Fei said, "It's just that it's sometimes too cold by the river, and there are people peeping." 6. The "Head" Generation It is said that Zhang Fei had two sons. According to the family genealogy, these two sons should be of the "Head" generation, and their names must contain the character "Head." Zhang Fei was a rough man, so he just named his sons casually. The eldest son was called "Your Mother's Head," and the second son was called "Turtle Head." One day, Zhang Fei's second son didn't come home very late, and he was very worried. So he went to Zhuge Liang and said, "Strategist, strategist, my penis head is missing!" Zhuge Liang asked in confusion, "Hmm? How big is your penis head?" Zhang Fei replied, "A little smaller than your mother's head!" 7. Moving House It is said that Dian Wei had a woman who loved him very much. After he died in battle, the woman took his penis home, made a hole in the wall, and inserted it. Every night she would caress it. Xiahou Dun, Xiahou Yuan, Cao Ren, and Cao Hong learned of this and secretly went to the next room, took Dian Wei's penis, and inserted their own. Then the woman would caress them every night. To be fair, Xiahou Dun, Xiahou Yuan, Cao Ren, and Cao Hong took turns each day. One day, it was Xiahou Yuan's turn. After he inserted his penis, the woman came over, took out a knife, and cut off his penis with one stroke, saying, "Wei, we're moving house." 8. A story used to scare children : One day, Liu Bei returned home from hunting and found his wife naked on the bed, breathing heavily. He asked what was wrong. His wife said, "I suddenly had a heart attack, so I took off all my clothes because I was so hot." Liu Bei was very nervous and wanted to run out to find a doctor. At the door, he saw A Dou standing there trembling. He asked what was wrong. A Dou said, "How scary! There's someone naked hiding behind the cabinet!" Liu Bei ran behind the cabinet and saw that there was indeed someone naked standing behind it—it was Zhang Fei. Liu Bei was furious and cursed, "You son of a bitch! We're like brothers, I treat you like my own brother… My wife had a heart attack, and you didn't help her, but instead stood here scaring my son!" 9. A story about Xiahou Dun: During the Battle of Pei City, Xiahou Dun was shot in the eye by Cao Xing. He pulled out the arrow, ate his own eyeball, and cried out, "My father's essence and my mother's blood, they cannot be discarded!" "From then on, Xiahou Dun frequently ate human flesh and became addicted. Later, Xiahou Dun had a son who, due to heredity, also liked to eat human flesh. One day, the father and son went out to hunt for food. They hid in a tree by the roadside, waiting to catch passersby to take back and eat. A thin man came by, and the son said, 'Want to eat this?' Xiahou Dun said, 'Too thin, not tasty!' After a while, a fat man came by, and the son said, 'Want to eat this?' Xiahou Dun said, 'Fat people have high cholesterol, not tasty!' After a while, a beautiful woman came by, and Xiahou Dun, before his son could speak, hurriedly said, 'This one is good, catch her and cook her for your mother!' 10. The Dentist After Hua Tuo scraped the bone to remove the poison from Guan Yu, he changed professions and became a dentist. One day, Guan Yu came to Hua Tuo's residence again, and as soon as he entered, he took off his pants and exposed his penis." Hua Tuo hurriedly said, "I'm sorry, Boss Guan, I've recently switched to dentistry and I don't treat this kind of thing anymore." Guan Yu said with a pained expression, "I know, I know, but... but there's a tooth stuck in there!"

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