A slightly risqué but pretty funny joke [Full text]

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

1. The bride emerged from the bridal chamber early the next morning in agony, one hand against the wall, the other clutching her genitals, cursing: "What a liar! He said he had thirty years of savings before the wedding, I thought it was money!"

2. A man, poor since childhood and always naked, had his mother make underwear from rice sacks. On their wedding night, when he took off his trousers, his wife fainted on the spot. The underwear clearly stated: Net weight 30 kilograms.

3. Lai XX and Yang XX were walking on the beach. Lai pointed to a distant warship and said: "The money I've spent on you these past few years is enough to buy this warship." Yang replied: "The amount of fire you've done on me these past few years could sink this warship!"

4. I saw a really funny text message.

Tell me about it.

It's a bit risqué.

Skip the risqué parts. Skip

, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, I've told the whole thing!

5. A guest came to a farmhouse. The host wanted to kill the rooster, but the rooster flew onto the roof and wouldn't come down. The host cursed: "If you don't come down, I'll kill all the hens and make you wish you were dead!" The rooster laughed wildly: Damn, I can finally find wild chickens!

6. A female reporter asked the farmer about the origin of mad cow disease. The farmer said, "I milk the cows ten times a day, and the cows only mate once a year." The reporter was puzzled. The farmer shouted: "If I rub your breasts every day and only have sex with you once a year, wouldn't you go crazy?"

7. A woman's three-word mantra: Get away from me, don't touch me, let go, I'll scream, you hate me, no, don't, be gentle, it feels so good, don't stop, harder, I can't take it anymore, hold me tight, I'm coming, bite me, I want more...

8. A nanny from the countryside saw a used condom on the bed and didn't know what it was. The mistress said contemptuously: Don't you country folk do this? The nanny said: We do, but not as intensely as you, it makes our skin peel.

9. A riot broke out in a women's prison. Seeing the situation was getting out of control, the warden grabbed a microphone and shouted, "If you keep causing trouble, the cucumbers for dinner tonight will be sliced!"

10. A nun's pet hawk stole buckets, ladles, and forks from a monk's vegetable garden. The monk, angry, caught the hawk and plucked all its feathers. The nun, feeling sorry for it, came over and argued, saying, "You want a bucket? I'll give you a bucket. You want a ladle? I'll give you a ladle. You want a fork? I'll give you a fork. But why did you pluck all my hawk's feathers?"

11. A mosquito and a cockroach were peeping at a young girl bathing. The mosquito boasted, "Ten years ago, I bit her twice on the chest, and now they're swollen this big!" The cockroach said, "That's nothing. Ten years ago, I slashed her genitals, and now she bleeds every month!"

12. A vampire was too ugly to attract women and died in despair. After death, he begged God to let him be reborn as a pure and lovely angel with two wings, and to drink the blood of young girls whenever he wanted. His wish was granted; he became a winged sanitary napkin.

13. A man wandered around with a prescription from a female doctor for a long time before returning to ask, "Where is '13 Ultrasound'?" The female doctor laughed and said, "It's not '13 Ultrasound,' it's 'B Ultrasound.'" The man angrily said, "Damn, your 'B' is too far apart!"

14. A female soldier disguised herself as a male soldier and went to war. Suddenly, she got her period, and blood flowed down her crotch. The company commander saw this and hurriedly asked, "What's wrong? Where are you injured?" The female soldier said, "It's nothing, it's nothing." The company commander didn't believe her and forcibly pulled down her pants to take a look! He angrily said, "Damn it, your dick is blown off! And you say it's nothing!"

15. Mr. Wang took a bus to Gaochao Town in a certain city. Because he had never been there before, he started asking the female ticket seller after only two stops, "Have we arrived at Gaochao yet?" The female ticket seller replied, "No." After two stops, Mr. Wang asked again, "Has the climax arrived yet?" The female ticket seller replied, "No." A few minutes later, Mr. Wang asked again, "Has the climax arrived yet?" At this point, the female ticket seller was really impatient. She answered loudly, "When the climax arrives, I'll shout!" "The words had barely left her lips when everyone was startled. All eyes turned to the female ticket seller.

16. A row of prostitutes were waiting for customers on the street. An octogenarian woman saw them and curiously asked, 'What are you waiting for?' The prostitutes replied irritably, 'Waiting for lollipops!' The old woman joined the queue to wait for candy, but was arrested by the police. The police asked the old woman, 'You don't have any teeth, how can you still wait?' The old woman laughed and said, 'I can lick them!!'

17. A young man on a bus saw a beautiful woman with a very low neckline, revealing her cleavage, and jokingly said, 'What a place where peach blossoms bloom!' The beautiful woman, upon hearing this, lifted her skirt and said, 'And the place where you were born and raised!'

18. A young woman ordered stir-fried dog penis at a restaurant. While picking up the food, she accidentally dropped it between her legs. The woman exclaimed in surprise: 'This thing is amazing! Even after being cooked and chopped up, it still knows its way!'

19. Kindergarten teacher Xiao Fang pointed to the pinyin 'm, a, y, d, b' on the blackboard to test the children." The children said in the most standard pronunciation: "Touch-A-A-Yi-De-Bi"!!

20. A female underground worker was arrested and forced to write a letter to lure her superior into a trap. Left with no other choice, she wrote the entire letter. Afterward, she secretly plucked a few pubic hairs from her private parts. Afterward, she smelled and examined the pubic hairs, pondering deeply. Suddenly, she realized: It was a conspiracy!!

21. A pretty girl accidentally tore her swimsuit while running into the swimming pool. All the boys stared at her... At this moment, the pretty girl walked along the edge of the pool, noticed something amiss, and grabbed a sign to cover her private parts... The boys burst into laughter! The pretty girl found it strange, then noticed the sign said "Men Only" and quickly changed it. But when she changed it, the boys laughed even harder, because... the sign actually said "Two Meters Deep Here!"

22. An elephant asked a camel, "Why are your nipples on your back?" The camel replied, "Get lost, I don't talk to things with their dicks on their faces!"

23. A girl always showed off her new toys to a boy. The boy, at a loss,

took off his pants and said, "You'll never have this!" The girl also took off her pants and said, "

I said if I had this, you could have as many of those as you wanted!"

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A slightly risqué but pretty funny joke [Full text]

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