My Story: The Happy Red Apricot Mother (Complete)

page views:1 Publication date:2023-09-18 08:12:08

Before I begin my story, let me first, as is customary, talk about my family.

My father originally worked for an engineering company, a state-owned enterprise—though it seems most companies were state-owned back then. My father was rather unassuming, but his surveying skills were exceptional, and he trained countless apprentices. My mother worked as an accountant at the same company. My parents' meeting and marriage was a tradition at the time, arranged by a matchmaker. My mother grew up in a strict family, and even now I'm quite afraid of my maternal grandparents. Naturally, they raised her to be a quiet and reserved girl. Before meeting my father, she had been introduced to several men by matchmakers, but my grandfather wasn't satisfied with any of them until my father appeared. My father's honest demeanor and excellent skills, according to my grandmother, suggested he would definitely be a good husband. So my parents got married, and the following year, I was born.

However, after marriage, my mother discovered that my father was honest to the point of being timid. Although his skills were top-notch and he had trained countless apprentices, many of whom eventually surpassed him and moved into more important positions, my father remained stuck on the front lines year after year. My mother often complained about this. I remember when I was five, my workplace built new housing. According to the rules, both my parents worked, so they were guaranteed a unit. The head of the personnel department in charge of allocations was my father's former apprentice. However, my parents were not selected. My mother was furious and dragged my father to confront the head of the department.

My father refused, saying there were probably too many people who needed the housing more than us, and we should wait for the next batch. He added that talking to him wouldn't necessarily make a difference. My mother was stunned by my father's stubbornness, so she went to see the head of the department herself. Later, she heard rumors from the neighborhood that the head of the department had lusted after my mother's beauty and had made advances on her while she was talking to him. My father just sighed and told my mother, "You should have told me not to go." A few days later, one of my father's former apprentices, upon hearing this, stormed into the head of the department's house, beat him up, and then quit his job. Back then, everyone was saying behind my back that the section chief was definitely blocking someone again, and look what happened—he got beaten up. When I was nine, the company, following the provincial decision, moved to a city that had just been upgraded to a prefecture-level city. My parents were both selected. That day, I heard my parents having a huge argument in their bedroom. Actually, my mother was complaining about my father, saying that everyone else was going alone, while the women were staying in the provincial capital with the child, meaning the child's education and future life would still be in the provincial capital. This time, they were making our whole family move there; why didn't my father complain? Seeing that my father didn't complain, my mother even suggested asking my grandfather to resolve the issue, but my father stopped her. So, our family moved to the city we live in now.

When I was thirteen, the government decided to relocate some people, and my parents were in the same batch. My mother didn't argue with my father anymore; she just silently shed tears all night. (The following is a separate image caption:) On one side of the photo is my mother from over ten years ago, standing under a tree by a lake, arm in arm with someone. The person she was arm in arm with has been cut off. However, I guessed it was my father. On the other side was young Uncle Zhang standing alone in the same scene. The two photos were pasted tightly together, as if my mother were standing next to Uncle Zhang. In the photos, both of them were smiling happily, just like now, the two of them were happily together. Flipping through the pages, I saw entries that my mother started remembering after she was laid off. The entries contained her pain and resentment towards her incompetent father. The following entries were about my mother's arduous job search, only to return home disappointed to find my father indifferent. The immense sense of loss was palpable; reading through them, I could feel my mother on the verge of collapse. I casually flipped through a few pages and saw a white petal pasted on one of the pages. I read it carefully: February 13th, Sunny. Didn't find a job again today. Too old. The market was full of young girls; I realized I'm really old. I thought of Xiao Jun, still in school, and that dead man who only sits at home sighing. I really wish I could just leave like this. I passed the bridge again, looking at the flowing water below and the white flowers beside it. The river wind was almost breaking those flowers. I really can't take it anymore, I desperately want to confide in someone. But who can I turn to?

God, please help me.

February 14th, rain. Perhaps my prayers yesterday finally heard me, I'm so happy today. It rained heavily this morning, and I didn't want to go out. But somehow I went out anyway, and I ran into him! I can't believe it's been over ten years since I last saw him. That impulsive, naive boy has grown up so much. Yes, he's changed so much. If he hadn't called my name, I wouldn't have recognized him. I actually found an old friend and a job!

He's coming to visit in a few days, so I need to tidy up the house. I hope life gets better and better.
February 15th, sunny. I didn't expect him to be waiting for me at my door so early this morning. I'll be working for him from now on, and he even came to pick me up himself. Walking into his company, it's so impressive. Turns out he's the boss! When he was recruiting yesterday, I thought he was in HR. As we walked to the finance office, people on the street nodded to him. It seems he's doing quite well now. I, on the other hand, have grown old.

February 16th, cloudy. He came home today, taking me home with him after work. We even went to the market to buy groceries on the way. But it looks like he's never done this before; he didn't even know the prices, yet he said it was okay. What a pity, he got taken advantage of so much, it makes me so angry. I just looked at my old diary entries, and he actually remembers them! Good heavens, if I hadn't specifically noted what groceries I bought that day, if he hadn't reminded me, I wouldn't have remembered that the groceries he bought today were the last meal he ate at home before he quit his job ten years ago. How can he still remember? What does he mean by this?

The next few entries are all about things at the company; it's clear my mother's mood is getting better each day. She wrote a lot about things happening in the office, and some rumors about Uncle Zhang's office. She also wrote about my studies. And about how my father finally agreed to work at Uncle Zhang's company; it seems very unpleasant, as my mother angrily scolded him in her diary. I flipped through the entries again and found one with leaves pasted on it, and I read it carefully: March 10th, sunny. Good morning. I drank too much yesterday, so I'm making up for it now. He actually treated the whole office to dinner yesterday! That slut Zhang Lili deliberately rubbed her breasts against him, that vixen! But he was really something else; he had none of his usual authority at the table, and even after drinking so much, his eyes were still so bright—unlike Lao Xue (the last four words are crossed out). After dinner, I said goodbye to my colleagues, and he suddenly came over again. My heart suddenly started racing. At the late-night snack stall, he drank a lot more and told me a lot about his past. He's been through so much; it seems some of the rumors in the office are true. Hearing how badly his ex-wife treated him hurt me so much. He went home alone later; I wonder if he got home safely. It's a pity I don't have his home phone number; I'll try to get it when I go back to work the day after tomorrow. The flowers outside the window have bloomed; I picked a leaf.

It seems my mother's diary entries are all related to Uncle Zhang. I started looking through them: March 9th, rain. He called me into his office and actually asked about the letter. My heart was in turmoil; I said I hadn't read it and didn't remember where I received it. He was so disappointed. Should I not have lied? He went drinking with clients again. He's been asking me to come with him a lot lately, and Zhang Lili and the others have started gossiping. I guess I need to find an opportunity to talk to him. What will people think of me if he keeps asking me to come? I have a husband and children. How can I bring it up?

May 19th, sunny. I didn't come home last night, the first time I didn't spend the night at home. We talked for a long time at his house last night. He poured his heart out to me, crying like a child. He held me tightly, and I didn't struggle. His body was so hot, so warm. I could even feel the change in his genitals. Damn it, why didn't I dare to take it further? I definitely wouldn't have refused then. That would have ended everything between us. I had already decided to give myself to him for one night and then disappear from each other's lives. But he just held me, said those nonsense things, and actually fell asleep. And I, lying in his arms, enjoying a peace I'd never felt before, also fell asleep. Today at work, I didn't have the courage to resign. God, what do you want from me? His embrace felt so comforting.

June 1st, rain. It's been so many days since I last wrote in my diary; a habit I've maintained for so many years has been broken. I've found myself secretly watching him. Watching him speak eloquently in meetings, watching him navigate social situations with ease at banquets, watching him furrow his brow in thought in his office. Could it be that I've really fallen for him?

June 2nd, rain. Today I received a call from Xiao Jun's teacher, saying Xiao Jun got into a fight with a classmate and was hospitalized. I panicked. Xiao Jun is my only hope; seeing him injured broke my heart. And that other parent, why was they so fierce? It was clearly their child's fault. Yet they yelled at me, and Lao Xue was even apologizing to them, telling me to shut up. Good heavens, are you even a man? He came. Seeing him calmed me down; I knew he had a solution. Sure enough, a business card, a few phone calls, and the other parent actually came to apologize. Lao Xue, I despise you. I

closed my diary at this point. That's enough; I don't want to read any more. As long as my mother is happy, that's all that matters. Back at school, I got a severe scolding from the teacher. But I didn't regret it at all.

My father has been in X city for a whole month now. Every time he comes home during this month, I see Uncle Zhang. Every time I came home, I was greeted by a sumptuous meal prepared by my mother. Uncle Zhang would ask about my studies and take me shopping for things I liked. My mother would always say that Uncle Zhang spoiled me, and she spoke of him as naturally as if he were talking about her own husband. The house was always lively and warm. Every evening around 9 o'clock, my mother would urge Uncle Zhang to come home. The two of them would reluctantly part, their manner both showing reluctance and trying to avoid each other—it was truly a hardship for them. As soon as Uncle Zhang left, he would talk to my mother on the phone. Looking at my mother's smiling face, I felt that she had become younger. Summer vacation was fast approaching, and I wondered how my mother and Uncle Zhang would spend it. With a mischievous thought, I smiled.

The Friday before the final exams, I returned home as usual. Uncle Zhang promised to buy me a trendy 486 computer if I did well on my final exams—I was drooling just thinking about it. But as soon as I walked in the door, I sensed that the atmosphere in the house was off.

My father was sitting on the sofa watching TV. As soon as he saw me come in, he said happily, "Son, you're back. How's your studying? Are you behaving well at school? Listen to your teacher!" Seeing my father return, I suddenly reverted to my usual self, grunted in response, and said I needed to study before going into my room. Seeing my expression, my mother came out of the kitchen and complained, "This child, he doesn't even say much to his father when he gets back." My father chimed in, "That's right, studying is the priority. You're still studying so diligently even in vocational school, just like me." My mother said irritably, "Just like you! I heard you were completely suppressed by Li Ping over there. You're the branch manager, and I heard he's now bypassing you and reporting directly to head office. What were you doing? You even got Li Ping to emphasize it at the meeting. How's it going now?" My father said calmly, "It's a new company, lots of things to do. Besides, Li Ping is more capable than me. The company's smooth operation is all thanks to Li Ping's efforts. It wouldn't be right for me to take credit." He then fell silent. My mother complained for a while, and then the house returned to quiet. Compared to when Uncle Zhang was home...

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My Story: The Happy Red Apricot Mother (Complete)

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