The Lord's Romantic Life

page views:1 Publication date:2023-08-30

Chapter One: Jin Yong's Dementia
Leads to Revising
Masterpieces; A Noble's Fate Leads to a Bitter Search for True Love. It is said that the martial arts master Jin Yong, in his old age, became senile. One day, upon waking, he suddenly had a sudden inspiration and picked up his pen to revise his life's work of martial arts classics. "Flying Snow Shoots the White Deer, Smiling Proud Wanderer
, Divine Eagle, and Jade Couple"—none were spared. With a stroke of his pen
,
the world shifted, the plots drastically changed, the core of the work was altered, and the characters were unrecognizable. Not to mention Wang Yuyan abandoning Duan Yu, causing him to become heartbroken and renounce the world, leaving eight beauties in the palace to suffer a long and miserable old age, even the popular idol Wei Xiaobao, the nobleman, ended up with his fortune squandered, impoverished, and his women leaving him one after another
, ultimately leaving only Shuang'er. The stark contrast before and after caused Wei Xiaobao to wail in despair, cursing
the heavens for being blind and giving Jin Yong Parkinson's disease, driving him to madness!
That day, Jin Yong was engrossed in revising *The Deer and the Cauldron*, preparing to add insult to injury for the already impoverished
Wei Xiaobao —by throwing him into prison and exiling him to the army on New Year's Eve of the Year of the Horse. Lord Wei couldn't sit still
. Back in his day, he had been incredibly successful in the imperial palace and the martial arts world, navigating both the righteous and the wicked, amassing
wealth and power
. Even in dire straits, he seemed to have a stroke of luck, ultimately enjoying the bliss of having seven beauties sharing his life. He indulged in pleasures and revelry, living a carefree life that made the world envious enough to fill the East Sea.
How could he possibly tolerate Jin Yong, this senile old man, making him impoverished and dying on the frontier,
completely erasing his enviable fortune of having seven beauties by his side?
Risking being reborn as a pig in his next life, Wei Xiaobao transformed from the manuscript on Jin Yong's desk into human form and appeared
beside the old Jin Yong, who was engrossed in writing. Holding a pig-slaughtering knife ("gifted by Xiaoping"), he kicked over the desk,
panting heavily (he hadn't eaten a grain of rice for days), and cursed, "Damn it, Jin Yong, you
old bastard who can't stand seeing others get rich and powerful! Everything I have, isn't it all earned through hard work and my brilliant
mind? Why did you take the wrong brain-boosting supplement today and want to take it all back? If you don't
explain yourself clearly today, I'll cut you into eighteen pieces!"
Jin Yong adjusted his glasses, looked at him, then took them off to wipe them, put them back on, and looked again. He saw that Wei Xiaobao
was emaciated, disheveled, with a few withered straws in his hair, wearing tattered prison clothes, and covered in red, swollen boils,
some pus and blood, others scabbed over and already festering. Jin Yong remained unmoved: "A rogue should have
the fate of a rogue. What goes around comes around. So what if you have a
Green Dragon on your left and a White Tiger on your right? I also have an old ox at my waist. Who are you trying to scare? Don't you think about who gave you what you once had? Don't you think about the despicable methods you used? Seizing gold and silver by force
is a crime, and cheating and swindling beautiful wives and concubines is a sin. How can that be considered hard-earned or labor-generated?
And which of your wives truly and willingly followed you to the death..."
"Who says there weren't any? Shuang'er, A'ke, and the other seven—which one of them didn't I win over with all my scheming ?
After they came with me, they were like lovers who envied no immortals. Anyone with eyes could see that we were in love.
Yet you tore us apart. Aren't you afraid of divine retribution? Aren't you afraid of being struck by lightning? Quickly, return all seven of my beautiful wives
!" Wei Xiaobao ignored Jin Yong's nagging and immediately retorted.
Jin Yong chuckled dryly a few times and said, "Be content. I at least left you
Shuang'er. You can forget about the others in this lifetime; they've all been taken by some nymphs!"
"No way! Keep them all! Not a single one can be missing!"
"No way! You can't keep those obtained through such underhanded means. Otherwise, everyone will follow your example, and
what's the difference between that and robbery?" Jin Yong rolled his eyes.
"You old fool, you keep saying they're not sincere. 'You are not a fish, how can you know the fish's joy?' You understand the Zen meaning behind that
saying ! Of course, it's something my wives taught me over a long time. They just
wanted me to have some knowledge. Isn't that a sign of their love for me?!" Wei Xiaobao revealed all the secrets he had kept
hidden away .
Jin Yong never expected that this good-for-nothing, who previously only had a rudimentary understanding of the proverb "Four horses cannot catch up," would now actually know
such
The Fish Says." He paced back and forth a few times and said, "All these wives of yours were obtained using your tried-and-true method of seducing women: 'making the rice ripe for the worm.' If you can prove that you
can make a woman fall in love with you with a sincere heart, then everything will be back to normal! No underhanded tactics, no unreasonable demands, no tricks,
just a genuine romance. If you succeed, I will be convinced. How about it?"
"Deal!" Wei Xiaobao agreed immediately, fearing that Jin Yong would change his mind. But in his heart, he thought, "Isn't it just about romance?
The essence of romance is talking, it's about using your words to coax a woman into bed with you. With my silver tongue, I
refuse to believe I can't win over a girl."
"So I'm going back now? At least while I'm looking for a woman, you'd better make sure I'm well-fed and clothed. Looking
like this, no woman would ever want me." Wei Xiaobao glared at Jin Yong with his small eyes, mentally
slicing the old bastard into a thousand pieces.
Jin Yong, unperturbed, quickly wrote a few strokes on the manuscript, and Wei Xiaobao's boils were healed. His
coarse blue robe fit him perfectly, and the few taels of silver in his pocket were enough to keep him fed and clothed for a while. "Is this alright?"
Jin Yong asked.
Wei Xiaobao raised his hands, turned around, and seeing that he was fully healed and had silver in his pocket, he quickly
leaped back into the book.
Jin Yong waved his hand to stop Wei Xiaobao: "You still want to go back to *The Deer and the Cauldron*? I think it's better to send you somewhere else,
lest you get help from those cronies and everything changes. How about this,
you can choose any of my novels except *The Deer and the Cauldron*. As long as you successfully seduce one of the named female protagonists in any of them,
you win."
This old scoundrel, still playing these tricks on me, afraid I won't use my own methods but will instead rely on external forces. Fine, I'll do as he says. As long as
I get it done, let's see what he has to say then.
Jin Yong quickly scribbled a few more strokes on the manuscript, and Wei Xiaobao suddenly had an object in his hand. Jin Yong said, "This
is a teleportation talisman. With just a thought, you can travel to the side of the female protagonist you want to be in my novel.
This will save you a lot of trouble. However, this teleportation talisman can only be used once a day. You can't use it multiple times a day!"
"I know, enough nonsense. I, Wei Xiaobao, was born and raised in brothels. I've seen plenty of women
. How could I not find one who truly loves me? Be patient, I'll be right back. Don't go back on your word."
Wei Xiaobao said impatiently.
"No going back on my word."
Before Jin Yong could say anything more, Wei Xiaobao sent out a teleportation talisman.
Before the news got out, Wei
Xiaobao swiped an item from Jin Yong's bed—pickpocketing was his
natural habit. He'd been eyeing this item for a long time; it was as thin as a cicada's wing, like a woman's skin, and looked like
something a woman would wear. He didn't know it was a pair of stockings, the kind every modern woman wears. With that one swipe, the stockings
were brought into Jin Yong's martial arts world. (With the flutter of a butterfly's wings, stockings became
an everyday item in Jin Yong's world!)
The first female protagonist Wei Xiaobao rushed to was Huang Rong from *The Legend of the Condor Heroes* (let's all
bow three times to Huang Rong, the female protagonist in Jin Yong's martial arts world who has been adapted by fanfiction and subjected to the most acts of sexual exploitation!).
Wei Xiaobao didn't have high hopes for Huang Rong. As the wife of the national hero Guo Jing, the beloved daughter of Huang Yaoshi, and the leader of the Beggars' Sect, the largest gang
in the world , her status was an insurmountable chasm for Wei Xiaobao. Why choose
Huang Rong as his first target? Wei Xiaobao wanted to test his limits, knowing it was futile, to see what his capabilities were,
and then tailor his approach accordingly to future candidates, ultimately securing their capture. It was a classic case of "placing oneself in a do-or-die situation!"
But what truly made Wei Xiaobao so confident was a crucial factor: he had a trump card .
Along with the stockings he stole from Jin Yong's bed, he also took a copy of "Classic Love Quotes from Around the World" (did Jin Yong
study this all the time?!). This book contained countless classic love quotes from throughout human history
, including Marx's "To Jenny," and countless
cheesy . "With this book in hand, I have the world at my fingertips!" Wei Xiaobao felt as if he stood atop Mount Tianshan, looking down
upon the world. With this ultimate manual for capturing love, any kind of love in the world would be
a piece of cake. Wasn't Wei Xiaobao supposed to be illiterate and a complete fool? (Actually, I'm still a bum.
But it's necessary for the plot; I can read!) Today, I'll use the most cultured and poetic methods
to seduce women until my hands are sore, and see who dares to say I'm uncultured now. (Does this even need an explanation?)
(The world of words is wondrous; it has what it should have, and it also has what it shouldn't. Don't delve too deeply into anything illogical!)
Coincidentally, Wei Xiaobao is sent to the world of *The
Legend of the Condor Heroes*, and his first encounter with Huang Rong is when she has just finished bathing. The bathroom is huge; the stone-built bathtub is at least ten zhang in diameter. (Wei Xiaobao thinks to himself: Even the Forbidden City couldn't find
such a large bathtub; Jin Yong is indeed biased!)
Huang Rong gets up from the bathtub, slowly wiping her body with a towel, picks up a flesh-colored stocking (please
forgive the author's bad habit!), lifts one shapely leg, places one foot on the edge of the bathtub
, rolls up the stocking, and puts it on her toes. She slowly pulls it up and down, putting the stocking on one foot and then the other. (Lord Wei
sighed: What a pity, why weren't these the ones I have?)
Suddenly, a white light flashed beside Huang Rong, and Lord Wei appeared. Wei Xiaobao knelt on one knee,
holding a rose (actually a Chinese rose!) high in his left hand, and recited affectionately: "Huang Rong, rejoice! You may be surprised:
why do all my poems have the same title, 'To Huang Rong'? Only you in this world are
the source of my inspiration, the god of joy, the light of hope, illuminating the windows of my soul. From your name, I see your beautiful
image. Huang Rong—what two extraordinary words, it..." Every syllable was beautiful and melodious, like
the clear and bright sound of a golden lyre, like a kind fairy in mythology, like the moon's shadow floating on a spring night,
singing .
As Wei Xiaobao walked, he had already made up his mind that no matter what he was about to encounter,
he must unconditionally offer up a poem adapted from Marx's "To Jenny"—holding a rose (actually a roadside rose!), he would
recite the great revolutionary leader's work with deep emotion, killing gods and Buddhas alike, no matter how
clever was to Guo Jing, the great banner of the proletariat would surely conquer her heart!
After finishing the recitation, Wei Xiaobao raised a deep gaze and shot it at Huang Rong. When he looked up, he saw
Huang Rong wearing two flesh-colored stockings, her two jade-like and smooth legs standing upright. At the base of her beautiful legs, there was a lush
black forest, with curled black hairs hanging with crystal clear water droplets.
The distance was so close that Wei Xiaobao's nose almost touched her pubic hair. A drop of water slid down and landed
on his nose, cool to the touch. Huang Rong trembled with anger, her trembling breasts revealing a
stunningly beautiful face looking down at her. Wei Xiaobao sensed something was wrong. Before he could even admire the beauty before him, Huang Rong's
hand transformed into five claws, and she roared, "Where did this lecherous thief come from, daring to spy on this lady? Take this Nine Yin White Bone Claw!"
Seeing the danger, Wei Xiaobao immediately used his half-baked Divine Speed Transformation to dodge to the side, but he was still struck by the claw
. Huang Rong's claw seemed to carry a high voltage of 100,000 volts, giving Wei Xiaobao a free spiky hairstyle. The little
whip pointed straight up, revealing a complete skeleton beneath his translucent, electrified skin. Was this
Nine Yin White Bone Claw some kind of electric divine skill? It felt pretty good, though; his penis was erect again. One more time and he'd ejaculate! Before Wei Xiaobao
could even process what was happening, he rolled out of the bathhouse.
Unexpectedly, a deep male voice rang out from outside the door: "Rong'er, don't worry, I'm here!
The Dragon Appears in the Field!" (No more nonsense, it was none other than the honest Guo Jing.)
Wei Xiaobao was horrified. Guo Jing, completely naked, swung his enormous hand at him.
Between his legs , a massive, dark penis as thick as an arm swayed rhythmically with his movements.
Even before it was erect, it was already so astonishing! Wait, so before Wei Xiaobao arrived, this couple had been taking
a bath together ! Upon seeing Guo Jing's enormous penis, Wei Xiaobao felt a pang of regret. With this divine whip, what
woman would be willing to leave another man? So, the reason the cunning and eccentric Huang Rong was so devoted to the dull and simple-minded Guo Jing was because of this
enormous penis! It's hateful that Jin Yong, that old scoundrel, didn't explicitly say so in the novel; wasn't that just asking for trouble? (Why won't you give me
one?!)
Wei Xiaobao broke out in a cold sweat. In a moment of daze, a flash of inspiration struck him. He used his Divine Speed to its fullest extent, barely dodging
the edge . However, a tenth or a twelfth of the force of the Eighteen Subduing Dragon Palms still swept over him. With a loud bang,
a human-shaped hole was blasted into the bathroom wall. A mouthful of sweet blood welled up in Wei Xiaobao's mouth and nose, and he
spat it out with a "plop." Before he could even catch his breath, Huang Rong's second Nine Yin White Bone Claw was already in front of him
. Crackling electricity flashed between her jade claws as it headed straight for the top of his head. Of all people to mess with
, he had to mess with a couple taking a bath together. They say encountering naked people makes things easier, but encountering a
naked deed is sure to be suicide. Get out of the way, get out of the way quickly...
With a thought, Wei Xiaobao transformed into a streak of white light and vanished before Guo Jing and Huang Rong. The last image in his mind
was—Huang Rong's dark, lush genitals and Guo Jing's long, dark penis.
Wei Xiaobao was severely injured by Guo Jing's palm strike, vomiting blood in waves like a woman's irregular menstruation.
He flew back to Jin Yong's side in a daze, then collapsed, clutching his chest, vomiting blood and convulsing
...
(To find out what happens next, stay tuned for the next chapter)
Chapter Two: Frantically Writing to Revise the Little Bird The Unscrupulous Lord's Second Visit to the Palace
Several days later, when Wei Xiaobao awoke, he found Jin Yong smiling at him, a smile that
revealed the coldness of human nature and was utterly mocking.
Jin Yong tugged at his "northern white rhinoceros"-like beard, a smug look on his face, and asked, "Lord Wei,
are you fully recovered?"
Hearing that utterly disdainful "concern," Wei Xiaobao knew in his heart that Jin Yong must know he'd slept with Huang
Rong and barely survived, and felt victory was in his grasp, making a change to his ending inevitable.
At this moment, in Xiaobao's eyes, Jin Yong had transformed into a big guy in a grass skirt, twirling a red ribbon in a
carefree dance, smugly beautiful! His expression seemed to tell Wei Xiaobao that his revision was absolutely correct; just accept
your fate. You're born with the means to do what you're meant to do. Like begets like. A
useless person like him is only fit to cheat and swindle in this world. Everything he gained must be returned. His wife
leaving him , being exiled to the army—that's retribution for evil. His tragic fate serves as a warning to the world; becoming a pathetic
nobody whom everyone in the book can freely mock and ridicule is the right path.
Thinking of this, Wei Xiaobao was enraged. He thought to himself, "My life is my own. How I live in this
world up to me. They say even tigers don't eat their cubs, and it's only natural
for a father to love his son. I say, Jin Lao'er, as a father, even if you don't become Yao Qingwei, you should at least let me be like Brother Tianyi! I want to be a rich second-generation! The tall, rich, and handsome
kind !"
Lost in thought, Wei Xiaobao straightened up and, in a few swift movements, climbed a tree like a monkey. Stepping on the thin branches,
he shouted wildly, "I stand on this high hill, my dad is Li Gang! My dad is Li Gang, you deserve it! All that
is past, let's look at the truly remarkable figures, look to my dad Li Gang! My dad is Li Gang, washing makes you healthier... Not every glass
of milk is Mengniu, not..." Every dad is named Li Gang! If God could give me another
chance , I would say five words to that girl: "My dad is Li Gang." "I searched for him a thousand times, then suddenly, I turned around,
and there he was, my dad Li Gang." "Two rabbits run side by side, how can you tell my dad is Li Gang?!" "The vicissitudes of life are inevitable, but my dad
Li Gang will never grow old... I'm a rogue, who am I afraid of? With my dad Li Gang, even a rogue isn't afraid!"
After this nonsensical outburst, Wei Xiaobao looked down, "Huh, when did I catch a jackpot?"
Jin Yong almost got Parkinson's from fright, frozen for a long time, muttering, "My friends and I were stunned!
Li Gang? I was even thinking of standing on a hill and shouting that my mom is Meng Ge!"
……………………
Wei Xiaobao glared angrily at Jin Yong. Even after all this, he still dared to try and steal my mom?! If looks could be knives,
they would have already slashed Jin Yong a thousand times over!
Ignoring Wei Xiaobao's angry glare, Jin Yong turned and patted his mandarin jacket: "If you stop here,
I promise you your life will be safe, and I'll even give you a few acres of land. You and Shuang'er can live
a peaceful ! How about it?"
Seven beautiful wives! That's like a daily dose of pleasure from Monday to Sunday! Giving up any
one of them would be the death of him. Everyone knows the different delights of those seven beautiful holes! Let him give them up so easily?
Wouldn't his penis turn into a writhing, resentful twist? "No way!" Wei Xiaobao, in a fit of roguishness, flatly refused Jin Yong.
But deep down, he was genuinely afraid that Jin Yong would send him home, so he suppressed his anger. "Who gives up after just one failure
! I'm as handsome as Pan An, a pear blossom overshadowing a crabapple! This is just the beginning.
Giving up after one failure isn't my style. Persistence is a form of perseverance, and not giving up
is an attitude. Isn't failure the mother of success? I'll fight again and again, and I believe I will succeed! We agreed before,
I'll read any of your novels. I believe there must be a woman among them who likes me. I don't know who she is, but how can I find her if I don't
try ?"
"Tch, just as expected, a low-class scoundrel!" Jin Yong had a headache!
"Sure enough?
" "Sure enough!" "
Really?"
"Really!"
"Do you believe in love at first sight?"
"No!" "Damn
!"
"Fuck!"
...
Wei Xiaobao secretly resolved, "I won't turn back until I hit a wall! I must win her over; happy days are
beckoning , beckoning!"
However, we must learn from this. That old rascal Jin Yong hid many secrets in his novels.
He didn't mention Guo Jing's large penis at all. Love? All bullshit! Love at first sight, love that grows over time? All crap!
Girls love big dicks, that's the truth! If you're not having a good time in bed, no woman will be devoted to you. The book's saying that
square faces hide big dicks is definitely true; Huang Rong definitely likes that thing! "If I had that…" *smack*
A towel slapped Wei Xiaobao's face, interrupting his contemplation of ideals and life's lessons…
"Wipe your drool. Be grateful. You're lucky this time, you only lost half your life. In my books, which
protagonist isn't a peerless martial artist? With your meager skills, you probably couldn't even handle a village girl! Going there again would definitely mean certain death!
You have land but you don't cultivate it. Let me tell you something: if you transmigrate into a book, you're really dead.
Forget about
. At most, I'll add a new grave for you in *The Deer and the Cauldron*! Don't blame me then." Jin Yong looked at Wei Xiaobao mockingly, his smile full of cunning.
"Really?"
"Really!
" "Really
?" "Really!"
"Do you believe in love at first sight?"
"No!"
"Damn!"
"Fuck!"
……………
Wei Xiaobao hesitated. If he died while playing this transmigration game, what was the point? Without the protagonist's halo,
how could he possibly thrive? Counting money until your hands are sore, chasing girls until your legs are numb—that's just wishful thinking! For seven women...
Is it worth risking one's life? No, my life is more important. I should go home with Shuang'er and farm! No, I can't
let that old bastard Jin Yong look down on me. I'm still angry; I can't let this old man off so easily.
Jin Yong saw Wei Xiaobao's hesitation, pain, and indignation, and knew that this scoundrel valued his life more than
anything! He chuckled and said, "I saw that terrifying scene you witnessed in the bathhouse in 'The Legend of the Condor Heroes' very clearly. Let me
be frank : although I wrote the book, I'm not a savior. The rules of each book apply. In
the martial arts world, everything is real. There are no gods, no protagonist's halo, no cheat codes. Life and death are predestined, wealth and honor are determined by fate!
A steamed bun represents a bloody incident. As long as you're in the book, I absolutely cannot and will not interfere. Saving you is
absolutely out of the question. An injury is a real injury, death is a real death. At most, I can guarantee that if you can return to reality, even if you're just barely
alive, I'll save your life. But if you don't come back, then next year I'll burn an extra sheet of paper money at your grave!"
"Two sheets, okay?"
"One!" "
Just two!"
"Half a sheet!"
"Do you believe in love at first sight?"
"No!"
"Damn!"
"Fuck!"
…
Wei Xiaobao feared for his life, yet couldn't bear to part with those seven beautiful orifices. After much deliberation and agonizing,
his roguish spirit finally erupted. He steeled himself and declared, "A bet's a bet. I'll accept it even if I lose my life."
"Good, that's good!" As expected, Jin Yong understood Wei Xiaobao's gambler's mentality perfectly .
He explained everything clearly to avoid future infamy.
"Wait a minute! Old Jin Yong, you saw everything that happened to me in *The Legend of the Condor Heroes*, yet you couldn't interfere?"
Wei Xiaobao sensed something was amiss.
"That's a must! A book is a monitor, a live broadcast, you know? 360-degree 7.1-
channel surround sound, 3D holographic images! Brew a pot of tea, how short is life! This is my book, I can
read it however I want, from any angle I wish. I just need to channel
a wisp of my pen's spirit into you, and that's it! Understand? Because you possess the spirit of my pen
, I can only watch, not interfere. You can jump around freely in the book, I can only observe! But however you want to jump
, just be careful not to kill yourself, or I'll have no show to watch." Jin Yong's mustache
twitched with pride.
"Is this some kind of monkey show? Am I performing a monkey show? The autumn wind carries tidings, the cool moon shines endlessly, my
longing is like a year passing in a day! Why am I so unlucky..." Wei Xiaobao lamented.
"You're not happy? If you're not happy, then lean against the wall and go back to where you came from." Jin Yong rolled his eyes. So
what if I'm messing with you?
Fine, there's nothing in common with this guy. Wei Xiaobao gritted his teeth: "You old bastard, you old scoundrel, you win. I admit
it. Just wait and see the show. If I don't turn the world upside down, I'm not Lord Wei!"
Jin Yong adopted an attitude of "Go ahead and make your way, I'm in charge of my world." In his novels, he was
God ; what was he afraid of, Wei Xiaobao?
"Are you going now?" Jin Yong asked.
Wei Xiaobao's eyes darted around several times. The bloody reality of Guo Jing and Huang Rong made him hesitant
to act rashly. He had to learn from the bloody lesson; he wouldn't fight a battle he wasn't sure of winning! Guo Jing, Huang Rong! He
absolutely had to avenge them, and he would repay them double in due time. The time wasn't right yet; he'd better hold back. He
told , "My bones are still a little sore, so I need to rest for a few more days."
Jin Yong knew this guy was full of tricks and never told the truth, but he didn't expose him. He just told him to rest
for many days as he wanted and then ignored him
. After thinking for several days, Wei Xiaobao felt he had to finish something important before leaving.
Through his observations over the past few days, he discovered that Jin Yong had a habit: every day after lunch, he would drink a bottle of Brain Gold (a health supplement)
and then sleep for a few hours. Only during this time were his martial arts manuscripts locked in his desk. At night, these
manuscripts would be locked in a safe, and
Wei Xiaobao could only do what he needed to do while Jin Yong was napping. The thought of Brain Gold? Wei Xiaobao was certain that Jin Yong had lost his mind. If drinking such a horribly-tasting medicine
worked, pigs would fly! He was getting more and more confused with age!
Wei Xiaobao had once stolen a bottle when Jin Yong wasn't looking. It had a strange taste,
like —an indescribable and extremely unpalatable flavor. (Poor Lord Wei usually eats
free-range chickens and ducks, fed only bran and vegetables; he had no idea that there were such things as factory-farmed chickens and hormone-treated chickens.
He was completely unaware that modern people drink melamine-tainted milk, use gutter oil for cooking,
have pork adulterated with clenbuterol, and their chili peppers dyed with Sudan Red and fumigated with sulfur… There's nothing they can't
do ! In this era, organic food is a luxury.)
That day, after Jin Yong finished his afternoon nap and drank some Brain Gold, Wei Xiaobao rushed into Jin Yong's study and used one of his three treasured possessions—a
dagger—to pry open… He took out his copy of *The Deer and the Cauldron* from his desk drawer, flipped to the page describing himself
, and began to write, adding a few convoluted strokes (Wei Xiaobao can write?
Like a sow going to space! This is fiction, for plot purposes, please don't take it too seriously). He wrote furiously—"Wei Xiaobao, penis 1.8 feet long, testicles as thick as
a cow's , scrotum like a goose egg, divine sexual organ, can last half a day without ejaculating, once enjoyed, unforgettable."
After finishing the revision, fearing discovery, Wei Xiaobao cut two blank lines from the manuscript, wiped his nose,
carefully smeared the revised words, and sealed them securely. He then poured a large cup of hot water from Jin Yong's large cup on his desk,
gently ironed the paper strip flat, examined it carefully, and, finding no flaws, put the manuscript back. Jin Yong, with his failing eyesight,
probably wouldn't notice anything, hehe! Suddenly, a brilliant idea struck him. He took out the manuscript of *The
Legend of the Condor Heroes*, intending to directly modify Huang Rong's parts and complete his task. However, upon touching the manuscript, he couldn't even open it, let alone
modify it. He realized he could only modify his own world! Oh well, he had to experience it for himself!
Wei Xiaobao finished tidying his desk and decided to go meet Huang Rong! He didn't want Jin Yong to wake up and discover his
trickery ! Since he was already inside the book, Jin Yong was helpless. He might as well strike while the iron was hot and make a quick
escape! Forcing the issue was his specialty! He'd act immediately and make that old bastard Jin Yong regret it. "
Sister Huang, I'm coming! This time I'll make you feel like you're dying of pleasure! Hehe, what a dark cunt! Lord Wei likes it..."
Holding the manuscript of "The Legend of the Condor Heroes," Wei Xiaobao carefully searched for a dark and windy night. With
a wolfish howl and a thought, a flash of white light appeared, and he once again entered the world of "The Legend of the Condor Heroes"!
(To find out what happens next, stay tuned for the next chapter.)
Chapter 3: A Dark and Windy Night for Murder - Xiaobao's Huge Penis Teases Huang Rong.
As soon as he entered the book, Wei Xiaobao knew something was wrong. With a loud "rip," his pants were torn apart by
his regressive penis, exposing his huge cock to the air! It was extremely bizarre! He
couldn't care less about anything else for the moment. With his long testicles exposed, he staggered and tiptoed into the Guo Mansion. He found
Huang Rong 's residence, moistened his middle finger with saliva, poked a small hole in a window, and
peered into the room with a thieving eye.
As expected, darkness makes things easier. Under the dim light, on a large bed, a curtain half-covered a snow-white
body—none other than Huang Rong. Huang Rong was kneeling, her hands behind her back, her beautiful legs clad in
white stockings, her sexy buttocks raised high. Guo Jing, his muscular body exposed, was thrusting his large testicles
in and out of Huang Rong's vagina with great fervor. The squelching sounds of his thrusting filled the air.
The , the louder Huang Rong cried out, "Brother Jing, oh... oh... you're killing Rong'er... why
are you so much more vigorous than usual just because I'm wearing stockings... oh... it's so big, Brother Jing, your thing is so long
... Rong'er is going to be pierced through..."
Wei Xiaobao looked closely and realized that Guo Jing's penis was actually wearing a black stocking as it moved in and out of Huang Rong's vagina
. So that's how stockings are used? Without realizing it, Wei Xiaobao also pulled out a black stocking from his pocket
(he had taken it from Jin Yong when he left, and there were all sorts of colors), put it on his penis, and stroked it a couple of
times . The smooth, silky texture of the stocking felt incredibly pleasurable, and his penis quickly became erect, feeling even harder than usual. This stocking was truly wonderful
. So Jin Yong liked this kind of thing. He's over eighty years old, I wonder how many times he can use it to get off?
Under the lamplight, Guo Jing grinned foolishly, ignoring Huang Rong's calls. He straddled Huang Rong's hips, assumed a horse stance, and
thrust his long penis to its fullest extent, making Huang Rong twist and scream. When she turned her head to look at Guo Jing on top of her,
Wei Xiaobao realized that Huang Rong's eyes were covered by two overlapping black strips of cloth, and her hands
were tied with a red rope. With her eyes covered, how could she see anything?
These past few days, Wei Xiaobao had been staying in Jin Yong's room, idly flipping through a few books. He learned that this kind of blindfolded,
bound play was called SM. Guo Jing was quite skilled at it; this honest man must have done it countless times before. Seeing Huang Rong's dark vulva
dripping with lustful fluid, her toes practically pointing outwards, Wei Xiaobao was even more convinced of his judgment: to win over Huang Rong,
he had to do it in bed.
Wei Xiaobao swallowed hard, staring at Huang Rong's fair skin on the bed. He wondered if it would be
any different with a married woman. Just thinking about a married woman made Wei Xiaobao's heart pound, a strange thrill swirling within him.
Today, he was going to take Huang Rong; Guo Jing was definitely going to wear that green hat!
No time to lose, he just needed to create an opportunity. Fishing in troubled waters was his forte. "Great Bull God, here I come!"
Immediately, Wei Xiaobao, wielding his large bird, darted around the mansion and set several fires. Taking advantage of the chaos, he knocked down several guards in the prison,
and with his razor-sharp dagger, he sliced open the prison's lock, releasing all the prisoners. Soon, Guo Jing's
mansion was in complete disarray, filled with cries for help and flames soaring into the sky.
Returning to Huang Rong's room, he saw Guo Jing hurriedly dressing, pulling up his trousers, grabbing one boot and slipping it on.
Disheveled he ran towards the door, saying to Huang Rong, who was still slumped on the bed, "Rong'er, wait a moment,
I'll be right back!"
No sooner had Guo Jing left than Wei Xiaobao darted inside, returning shortly to the bedside. Huang Rong lay
naked, half-hidden in a snow-white silk quilt. Her skin was like solidified cream, and the silk was as white as snow, reflecting each other beautifully .
Her half-exposed breasts rose and fell with her even breathing, and one of her breasts trembled outside the quilt, its rosy
nipple erect, like a flower bud swaying in the night breeze. The cloth covering Huang Rong's eyes was still on, but she
was already asleep. One of her jade legs, wrapped in white silk stockings, was open outside the quilt, and her pubic hair
was covered with spots of semen. A stream of viscous white semen flowed from her secret place, hanging halfway in the center of her concave anus
without dripping.
Wei Xiaobao's heart leaped into his throat. He had thought Huang Rong, as described by Jin Yong, was clever but lacked sex appeal, but
seeing her in person, he was an absolute beauty, breathtakingly gorgeous. Wei Xiaobao quickly swallowed the drool that was practically dripping from his mouth, staring blankly. He quickly stripped off his clothes, leaving only the black stockings still covering his penis. Wei Xiaobao tugged at the lace top of the stockings, covering his two drooping testicles, and stroked his penis a couple of times. His dark penis was fully erect, as long as his arm, and looked quite ferocious under the light. Wei Xiaobao, with his penis erect, untied the red rope from Huang Rong's hands, took several sets of steel shackles he had taken from the prison, put them on Huang Rong's hands and feet, and wrapped the long chains around two thick pillars in the room. This was a chivalrous woman who could take his life at any moment; caution was paramount, and he had to be fully prepared. With everything prepared, Xiao Bao pulled back the brocade quilt and pounced on Huang Rong on the bed. Her fragrant body filled him with pleasure penis stood erect. In her dazed state, Huang Rong murmured, "Brother Jing, why did you come back so quickly ... You're back and you're going to do this to me again? You're so naughty." Wei Xiao Bao didn't answer. Just now, he watched Guo Jing do this to Huang Rong. Guo Jing hadn't uttered a word, just kept going at it like . It seemed that this couple was like this in bed all the time, one silently fucking hard, and the other screaming so loudly that the roof was about to be blown off. Wei Xiaobao took Huang Rong's left nipple into his mouth, the fleshy texture making him gasp with pleasure. He wiped Huang Rong's genitals with the blanket , found the entrance to her secret place, and forcefully thrust his thick, hard penis through her labia, making Huang Rong's whole body arch and her mouth form a bright red "O" shape. She gasped , "How come it's gotten even thicker and longer after I was gone for so long?" Huang Rong exclaimed between breaths. Wei Xiaobao, somewhat impatient, thrust faster and faster, as if he couldn't relieve his pent-up desire without doing so. Huang Rong's vagina was indeed very tight. Huang Rong's two jade-like legs in white stockings were forced onto Wei Xiaobao's shoulders, the two chains on her ankles clanging. Huang Rong's "ah ah" "songs" were disrupted by Wei Xiaobao's increasingly forceful thrusts.

The moans turned into soft groans, her perfect body trembling uncontrollably, her white stockings toes sometimes tucked in, sometimes
stretched out sharply.
Wei Xiaobao held Huang Rong's two jade-like legs, thrusting his hips rapidly, as fast as he could. He
'd never been this energetic even with his own wife. Fuck someone else's wife, and it was exhilarating! The sensation was
indescribable, especially with this incredibly alluring beauty beneath him. How many men could actually have her?
Thrust and thrust, thrust and thrust, Wei Xiaobao's spirits rose with each thrust, the continuous pleasure growing ever
more intense. Damn it, Guo Jing's wife was really resilient. Even after so long, the flow of fluid hadn't stopped.
The tops of her lace stockings were soaked, dripping onto his scrotum. Wei Xiaobao couldn't stop
praising Huang Rong's beautiful vagina.
If he was going to take revenge, he had to do it hard, otherwise, he'd wasted his life. After a fierce assault, as Huang Rong's legs
twitched , lost in a daze of climax, unsure of her surroundings, Wei Xiaobao withdrew his long penis
. Without any lubrication, with a soft "plop," his thick penis forced its way into Huang Rong's anus, penetrating deeply to the hilt.
Huang Rong cried out desperately, "Brother Jing, Brother Jing, you've put it in the wrong hole! You've put it in
the wrong hole! You've never done that before! How could you put it there... um... um... this..." "This
...this is even possible?"
Wei Xiaobao thought viciously, "Wrong ass, my foot! I'm going to fuck your asshole and pound your chrysanthemum!" He continued, "This asshole
definitely hasn't been touched by Guo Jing yet. I wonder if Guo Jing deflowered her in the front, but today I
, Wei Xiaobao, have taken her virginity. In this kind of hole-playing, I, Wei Xiaobao, can be considered her husband's equal, right? Damn it
, I came with a devout heart, but you want to kill me. If I don't fuck you to death, I, Wei Xiaobao,
have lived in vain.
" The tight anal hole became increasingly lubricated, and Wei Xiaobao's thrusts widened it further. His thick penis almost
burst open Huang Rong's buttocks. Even though a small portion of his overly thick and long penis couldn't penetrate, the gripping
sensation still intensely stimulated Wei Xiaobao, giving every nerve an unprecedented level of satisfaction.
Wei Xiaobao thrust into Huang Rong's anus with increasing ferocity, while Huang Rong, holding onto two chains,
hoisted herself up, her cries of pleasure never ceasing. "This...this...ow...ow...ow...ow...ow...ow...ow...ow
...ow...this...this ass play, it feels so good...ow...ow...Brother Jing,
how ...you still haven't come yet...are you trying to kill Rong'er...ow...ow...
ow...ow...you damned Brother Jing...I'm going to die...I'm going to die...you're still going in...still going in..."
……insert… ouch… ouch… I’m dead… I’m dead, really dead…”
Suddenly, Huang Rong couldn’t catch her breath, her legs trembled, her whole body convulsed, she clenched her teeth, her lower body
collapsed, and a string of clear liquid suddenly shot out from her vagina. Huang Rong had urinated, Huang Rong had been made to urinate by Wei Xiaobao
, the urine came in strings, one after another, spraying and spraying, the incontinent urine spraying again and again, the first stream of liquid
sprayed very high, drenching Wei Xiaobao’s face, the whole room filled with a lingering smell of urine, Huang Rong’s urine
really smelled bad.
Wei Xiaobao felt a surge of heat run through his lower back, and his seminal vesicles gave way. An even stronger surge of heat rushed through his
long penis. Wei Xiaobao pulled out his penis, along with the black stockings covering it, and shoved it into
Huang Rong still panting mouth. The timing was perfect. Before Huang Rong could react,
a thick stream of semen shot into her mouth, filling it completely. The amount of semen caused Huang Rong to
cough, and the semen that was almost coughed up was forced back down by Wei Xiaobao's thick, fist-like glans. Huang Rong
's thick, sexy red lips tightly closed Wei Xiaobao's fierce, pointed glans, and the mouthful of semen
was pushed and swallowed down her throat.
When Wei Xiaobao pulled his penis out of Huang Rong's mouth, he slipped a black stocking into her mouth and
stuffed the lace top of the stocking, which was hanging outside her mouth, into her mouth as well. Huang Rong bit into the full wad of black stocking,
as if savoring it. Suddenly, she spat out the stocking and cried out, "Ah—you're not Brother Jing! His
doesn't taste like this! Who are you?"
Huang Rong's angry voice made Wei Xiaobao realize he had been exposed. Without a word, he finished dressing on the ground.
Huang . She knew she was locked up and was furious.
She used the internal energy of the Nine Yin Manual to its fullest extent, spitting out a mouthful of hot blood. The force contained in the blood broke the chains binding her limbs. She ripped off the
black cloth covering her face and saw that the person in front of her was none other than the lecherous thief who had ruined her and her husband's time in the bathhouse the other day.
Huang Rong was filled with shame and embarrassment. She was ashamed that she had been taken by someone who wasn't her husband, and angry that
she had moaned with such pleasure, something she had never experienced with her husband in bed. A
surge of anger and embarrassment rushed to her head, and she coughed up another mouthful of blood. Looking at the strange, lewd
man what grudge she had held against him to be defiled by this unknown man. The thought that she had
not only been violated in the place her husband frequented, but had also been humiliated by having her anus violated, caused the third, fourth, and nth mouthful
of blood to finally erupt uncontrollably…
Wei Xiaobao stared dumbfounded at Huang Rong, who was coughing up blood incessantly. He thought, "How can Huang Rong's body be so
delicate? She coughs up blood after her anus is violated. Will she suddenly die? If so,
the story of Jin Yong's *The Legend of the Condor Heroes* will have to be rewritten: 'Huang Rong died suddenly on a certain day of a certain year, coughing up blood. The cause is unknown and pending investigation
…'"
"You lecherous scoundrel, prepare to die!" Huang Rong suddenly roared, unleashing a powerful Nine Yin White Bone Claw
strike, crackling with blue electricity, aimed at Wei Xiaobao's head.
Wei Xiaobao's scalp tingled. He'd been thoroughly
enjoying pleasure would win Huang Rong's heart and make her devoted to him
. But who knew she'd turn on him so quickly and try to kill him? Didn't that Zhang guy say, "The passage to a woman's soul is
her vagina "? Damn that old bitch! Who said women become devoted after sex? It's all bullshit! Turning her back on you
is the truth; a vagina's pleasure doesn't define a penis!
(Zhang guy smiles smugly, "Come on, handsome, you've been celibate for so long!")
Wei Xiaobao knew he couldn't dodge Huang Rong's full-force Nine Yin White Bone Claw. Since he'd already avenged himself,
there was no hope of winning Huang Rong's heart. Huang Rong wasn't his type! Now was the time to escape!
"Zhang Moumou, you son of a bitch! I'm outta here!" Suddenly, Wei Xiaobao transformed into a ball of white light and vanished into
the void. Hundreds of claw shadows swept across, smashing a huge crater into the floor where Wei Xiaobao had stood, leveling half
the house . Amidst the crashing rubble and a cloud of dust, a naked, beautiful figure stood
, her white stockings stained gray by the dust. Huang Rong, her face filled with desolation, coughed up another mouthful of blood.
Unable to hold on any longer, she collapsed amidst the rubble, gazing at the vanished Wei Xiaobao, unsure whether to feel hatred or love.
……………………
(To be continued...)
Author's Note: Alright, stop complaining! It's the New Year, quite festive, so let's give everyone an ending first!
An ending that isn't an ending:
Several days after returning from his seclusion, Wei Xiaobao, having finally cleared his mind and banished the shadows from his heart,
came to see Jin Yong without a trace of cloud.
Jin Yong chuckled as he looked at Xiao Bao before him, saying nothing. With a wave of his hand, he opened several books, and the images within
gradually became clear—First: A slender, jade-like hand lifted the curtain, and a young girl entered. The girl wore
a light, gauze-like white robe, as if shrouded in mist and smoke. She appeared to be about sixteen or seventeen years old. Except for her black hair
, her entire body was snow-white, her face exquisitely beautiful, though her skin lacked color, making her appear unusually pale. This
girl was elegant and refined, almost unbearable to look at directly, yet her expression was cold and indifferent. She was truly as pure as ice and snow, yet also as cold as
ice and snow ; it was impossible to tell whether she was happy, angry, sad, or joyful.
Second: A beautiful woman in palace attire, holding a long sword. Although this woman possessed graceful bearing, she seemed not to be alive,
but a jade statue carved from white jade. This jade statue was the same size as a living person, her pale yellow silk robe trembling slightly;
even more strangely, her eyes shone brightly, radiating a lively spirit. The eyes were carved from black gemstones, appearing deeper and deeper the more one looked,
with a faint, shimmering light within. The jade statue's lifelike quality stemmed primarily from the lively expression in its eyes. A subtle blush shone through the white jade's texture on the statue's
face , making it indistinguishable from human skin. When one looked at the statue, its
gaze seemed to follow the movement, as if it had come alive. The expression in its eyes was inscrutable, a mixture of joy and sorrow, a
deep and abiding affection.
Aside from the difference in clothing, the girl's face shape, eyes, nose, lips, ears, skin tone, figure, hands,
and feet were all identical, as if the jade statue itself had been brought to life.
Thirdly: The newcomer was a beautiful young woman. She wore purple, had a slender figure, and was none other than the
woman riding the white horse encountered on the road. She carried a bundle on her back—wasn't it the one she had lost at the inn?
She had an oval face, long, slender eyebrows, and although her skin was slightly dark, it couldn't conceal her beautiful figure and radiant beauty.
Fourthly: The young gentleman was exceptionally handsome, with bright, clear eyes. His folding fan had a white jade
handle, and his hand holding it was so white it was indistinguishable from the fan itself.
This gentleman was actually a woman. She drank her wine in one gulp, displaying great boldness. With each dish served, she was always the first to grab a
bite, her face flushed, slightly intoxicated, enhancing her beauty. While beauties are typically either gentle and refined or
alluring and charming, this young lady possessed a striking beauty, with a touch of heroism and boldness, while also
exuding a dignified and noble air that commanded respect and prevented one from looking directly at her.
Fifthly: In the clear stream, two reflections appeared. A young woman was clutching her own back.
Feeling the woman's soft body and her long hair brushing against her face, she felt a sense of bewilderment. Looking at
the reflection in the water, he saw half of the girl's face, her eyes closed, her eyelashes very long. Although the reflection was unclear,
her appearance was clearly stunning, and she was no more than seventeen or eighteen years old. Seeing her beautiful face in the clear stream was like
being in a fairyland.
(Sixth section:……………………
Thirteenth section:……………………)
"They're all beauties!" Unconsciously, several streams of water had already trickled down Wei Xiaobao's lips. He was already secretly comparing
which one had bigger breasts and which one had more beautiful legs!
Wei Xiaobao's lewd appearance annoyed Jin Yong. He then spoke up to wake the still-lustful man: "Wipe your drool
, or the water meter will be checked!"
"Ah, no, didn't we just pay the water bill?" Wei Xiaobao blurted out.
………………
Looking at the dozen or so beautiful sights before him, Wei Xiaobao was momentarily unable to choose. So he scratched his head, thinking
, "If there's not enough cunt, my dick isn't satisfied; if there are too many cunts, my dick is even less satisfied? Which one should I fuck? I'll fuck that damn thing..." "
Can we fuck each other?
" "No
!" "
Really
?" "Really!"
"Really!"
"Do you believe in love at first sight?"
"No!"
"Fuck!"
"Fuck!"

[The End]

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