Before parting

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

1. Having watched the video this far, I guessed it. Xiaoying knew; this revenge was proof. Thinking of this, I glanced at my black-screened phone and considered the previous recording. I pondered for a moment… Fifteen minutes later, I dialed the number. “Jincheng,” I said. “Dad, where are you? Busy?” “I’m on the island, nothing much.” “I’m back. Come back this afternoon, let’s have dinner together as a family.” “Okay, I’ll be back as soon as I’m done packing.” “Okay, be careful.” After ending the call, I called my secretary and gave her some instructions. Since I had just returned from the US, the preliminary work was almost finished, and the pressure wasn’t too great, so I finished the arrangements early, grabbed my clothes, and left the office. My father’s journey from the island to home, including the boat and bus, would probably take about an hour and a half. Half an hour later, the driver dropped me off at home. “Boss, I’m downstairs. Be there immediately.”
Downstairs, I glanced upstairs, took a deep breath, walked into the building, and unlocked my door. The moment I opened the door, I saw the face that had been flashing through my mind. Xiaoying probably hadn't expected me to come back at this hour. She only paused for a second before reacting and running over to take my briefcase, saying, "You're back so early. Have you had lunch?" She still cared about me; that thought immediately popped into my head. But my body reacted naturally, avoiding her hand. I took off my shoes, not putting on slippers, and said, "He'll probably be here soon. I'm tired." This tiredness was mental, physical, and emotional; it just came out naturally to me. Then, without paying attention to Xiaoying's attitude, I went straight into the house and locked the door. Looking around the cozy bedroom, at every little detail, I thought, "Since it started with me, then I should end it. It's a relief for everyone." Shaking my head, I started packing. Xiaoying didn't knock on the door during this time, so I just quietly did it. The things I had were simple: a few clothes. The most precious thing in my heart was the photo album. The album contained photos of me, Xiaoying, and Haohao. Looking at those sweet smiles, my heart ached terribly. I would never see that kind of smile again. In that instant, I saw the last photo frame on the table. I took all the photos out and put them in my suitcase. The last one... I was sweating profusely from the pain. The mental strain, the pressure from the video recording, and the pain were making me feel like I was losing my ability to move. In a flash, I punched the glass of the photo album. My left hand gripped the broken glass, just like gripping my heart. The pain was excruciating, but it was enough to bring me back to my senses. Xiaoying, perhaps hearing the breaking sound, rushed to the door and knocked, "Honey, what's wrong? Open the door!" I didn't speak, continuing to tidy up. Xiaoying kept knocking and talking outside. The pressure from before, combined with the frustration from the knocking, was about to burst out. My left hand unconsciously tightened, the pain from the wound bringing me back to my senses. "Don't worry about me," I replied. It was quiet outside; at least I couldn't hear anything from inside. I placed the documents separately on the table, glanced at my watch—it had been over half an hour since I returned. My father would be back soon, so I'd do the last thing. I found a piece of paper—the heart-shaped one Xiaoying had left in my pocket. Although I didn't know how to wrap things, I still wanted to use it.
A short while later, I heard the living room door open. My father was back. "Jincheng asked me to come back, saying the family wanted to have dinner together." "Hmm." "Why are you crying? What happened?"... I couldn't hear anything else outside, and I didn't want to hear it anymore. The pain allowed me to regain consciousness briefly, but prolonged pain would only increase my confusion. Even though I hastily bandaged my wound with clothes, I struggled to write down what I wanted to say and my final decision. Finally finished, I took off the ring and placed it on my desk. Shaking my head, I dialed the phone. "Boss," I said, "Come up and get the things I need to mail." Without further ado, I went straight out. The door opened, and Xiaoying and her father immediately looked at me. "You're back. Take a nice, relaxing shower. The shower isn't broken." Ignoring their terrified looks, I grabbed my luggage and documents and headed for the door. At the same time, the doorbell rang. I opened the door, handed the suitcase to the driver, and told him to take the car back to the company and give the keys to my secretary. I told him to go home early and rest. The driver agreed without further ado and left. Turning around, I saw my bewildered and panicked father, and Xiaoying, restless and filled with fear, yet somehow able to think of something. I smiled, clenching my left hand again, trying to organize my thoughts, reminding myself that my mind was becoming increasingly heavy and I had to resolve this quickly.
"Xiaoying, these two bank cards, one contains our savings from over the years, and the other is the scholarship fund I bought for Haohao recently. If I have money in the future, I will continue to invest in it." "Jincheng, this..." Father said, "Husband, are you right?" After her initial shock, Xiaoying seemed somewhat calm now, and Father looked at her with surprise. I still smiled and said, "If you think I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. There's no point in explaining. Let me finish." At this point, Father looked confused and didn't speak. Xiaoying looked at me nervously, listening to me continue, "This is the household registration book. This house holds beautiful memories of you, me, and Haohao, as well as records of your and Father's sexual happiness." I emphasized the word "sexual," and Father's legs trembled uncontrollably. Xiaoying also lost her composure. "I'm no longer someone who can satisfy you. People often say, 'Women in their thirties are like wolves, those in their forties like tigers,' and 'How can one sweep the world if one can't even sweep one's own house?' Since things have come to this, there's no need for me, the matchmaker, to stay in front of you any longer." "Jincheng," "Husband." I shook my head and continued, "What were you trying to express in yesterday's scene? I know. What do you want? I don't know, and there's no need to know now." "It was me, a coward who couldn't satisfy his wife and pushed her towards his father." "It was me, a coward who watched his wife get closer and closer to his father, and when he was powerless to object, he kept giving in and retreating." "It was me, a coward who let his father become hopelessly infatuated with his wife, wanting to possess her." "It was me, a coward who couldn't bear to let his wife perform oral sex on him, believing himself to be a pure and innocent fairy, but tolerated and indulged his wife's boundless indulgence towards his father." "It was me, a coward who watched his father and wife put on wedding dresses and didn't stop them." "It's me, a coward who watched his wife repeatedly masturbate, mimicking his father's genitals." "It's me, a coward who saw his wife sick and felt helpless, begging his father to penetrate her." "It's me, a coward who watched his wife being repeatedly violated by his father, pushing her boundaries, and endured it all." "It's me, a coward who thought it was over, but it never truly ended." I spoke faster and more agitatedly. My father, terrified, sat on the floor, head bowed, saying nothing. Xiaoying, tears streaming down her face, ran over and hugged me, saying, "Don't say it, don't say it, husband..." I moved away from Xiaoying, smoothing her hair. "If I said I loved you now, you wouldn't believe me, and neither would I." "It's me who tore this family apart, it's me who pushed you further and further away from me. Since I can't give you love, then let go."
I placed the heart-shaped note I had written earlier in Xiaoying's hand. "It's been a long time since I wrote something like this for you. It contains everything you can think of—my thoughts, my reasons. Whether you think I'm deceiving you or not, I just want to say, it's true." Then I placed the key on the shoe cabinet. "This is my key to this house. You know my company address. If you want a divorce, just send it to me directly. I can sign it anytime. I'm so worried about Hao Hao; Mom and Dad are so worried." "You don't have to say anything. Whenever you want to go together, just call me and I'll cooperate." "If you remarry someday, please give Hao Hao to me. Thank you." "No, husband," Xiaoying cried even louder, grabbing me. "I don't want to know anything anymore. Let's start over, okay?" I broke free and pointed to my genitals. "Let's end this. Actually, compared to my smaller one, you've already fallen in love with the bigger one. By the way, if we're going to have anal sex, you have to be careful of your body beforehand. It'll hurt the first time too." I finally couldn't hold back anymore and said my last words to Xiaoying through tears. My blurred vision made my head grow heavier and heavier, and my left hand, which I was gripping tightly, seemed almost useless. Before leaving the door, I said to my father, who was sitting on the ground, "Xiaoying's illness has just healed. It's best to have a check-up every two weeks." "Now that things are like this, don't make things difficult for her during sex. You can abandon your bottom line, but it's best not to make things difficult for her when she's sick. 'When she's about to die,' treat her well. You're not a good father." "Mother, you don't need to visit her grave anymore. I'll go every year. Forget about it." With that, I left without a word. As I opened the door with my left hand, holding my briefcase in my right, I realized the glass in my palm hurt so much I couldn't open it. I took off the clothes covering it, opened the door, and went outside. At that moment, Xiaoying, still in pain, noticed my unusual condition. Seeing the blood dripping on the floor, she finally noticed, her hand dripping with blood and her brow covered in sweat. She grabbed me frantically, crying, "Husband, husband, no, no…!" I pulled my hand away, my mind still hazy, but I smiled and said, "Qu Ying, take good care of Hao Hao." The instant I stepped out the door, I ran with all my might, ignoring Xiaoying's cries behind me, rushing out of the community, immediately hailing a taxi, and heading straight to the city hospital. I entered the emergency room before losing consciousness.
In my dream, I returned to the place where Xiaoying and I first met: our first meeting, our first chat, our first meal, our first confession, our first movie, our first holding hands, our first kiss, our first conflict, our first heartfelt conversation, our first act of protection, our first meeting with the parents, our first tenderness…
Looking back, Xiaoying gave me so many firsts, but I know that the most painful ones were also the firsts.
[The End]

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