Oedipus complex

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

Narrator: A Teenager in Need of Salvation
Foreword: I sincerely hope that more people will leave meaningful comments and offer better advice to this teenager. To be honest, after talking to this teenager several times, I suddenly felt powerless. I suggested he start sleeping in separate beds, even on the floor, to get his mother's attention, but he couldn't do it. I got a little angry and frustrated, but I was afraid my harsh words would further aggravate his already abnormal nerves. I felt helpless. This is also the first time I've encountered someone like this. He wanted to hide his crazy thoughts, but he said he needs to be saved. I hope everyone will be kind and offer some advice.
I'm 17 years old this year. I lost my father when I was very young; my mother raised me and I lived together. Now that I'm older, I find myself loving my mother more and more. I love everything about her—her appearance, figure, expressions, skin, every move she makes—I love it all, genuinely. I know this is a bit abnormal, but I can't control myself.
My mom has always bathed me since I was little, and I still love it when she does. I also enjoy scrubbing her back. When she's sleeping, I like to secretly touch her body. I know it's wrong, but it excites me, and I can't control myself. We only have one room in our house, and I still sleep with my mom in the same bed. I know that if I tell you my thoughts, you'll all think I'm shameful and won't listen to me. But I really want to confide in you and tell you these thoughts. I've had some intimate interactions with my mom, but I don't know if that's too much. I always touch her breasts and genitals while she's sleeping, and she doesn't seem to know. I've even touched her genitals with my penis... I really want to do that, I love that feeling. I'm going crazy; these thoughts fill my mind every day. I'm afraid to tell anyone, and I don't dare let my mom know I've told anyone. My mom is very good to me; raising me wasn't easy. Please don't judge her; I don't think she's wrong, it's my fault. I want to confide in someone, I really do. You can ask me anything, just don't look down on me.
My mom is single, she's 42 years old this year, and she has a stable job. She didn't ask to share a bed with me; it's just that we've always shared a bed since I was little, it's a habit, and it hasn't changed. My mom listens to everything I say and indulges my every whim; my happiness is her happiness. My mom doesn't usually touch me, but she still helps me bathe, and sometimes she touches my genitals. We have a one-bedroom apartment; there's no room for another bed. There's a sofa in the living room, but I can't stretch my legs, and I don't want to sleep there. I rarely interact with others, especially women, because I'm very insecure. To be honest, I genuinely enjoy sleeping with my mom; I really can't sleep separately. I love that feeling, but I don't know what to do next. I don't know who can help me.
Xiaoyu's reply:
Listening to this, I feel a mix of emotions, and I'm a little angry. I think your mother's problem is much bigger than yours. Your mother has allowed you to develop like this. If you still have any sense, you must think about sleeping separately first, and then slowly overcome this abnormal mentality. Continuing like this will only harm yourself. I can't overly criticize a mother who single-handedly raised her child, but this extreme love and incorrect guidance for her son is probably the root of the tragedy. If things continue like this, even if she marries someday, the problems she'll face will likely be even more complex.
Having no room in a one-bedroom apartment is not an excuse for sleeping together; it's because neither mother nor son wants to sleep separately. A mother should educate and guide her son in a normal way from a certain age; having no room for an extra bed is absolutely not an excuse! There will always be a way to separate. However, this mother didn't do this. Not only did she sleep with her son, but she also bathed him. Can you believe that touching her 17-year-old son's genitals was unintentional? Her son touched her chest and genitals more than once, even showing signs of wanting to have sex with her. Was the mother really asleep? Did she really not know even once? Was she really sleeping so soundly? What kind of emotional journey did this single mother experience before her child's birth and during the 17 years she spent with him? Loving a child is understandable, but how can placing all that love, including romantic love, on a son not lead to a distorted mentality? If a tragedy of incest between him and his mother actually occurs, who should bear the blame? Or is it something they both secretly desire?
He's a boy, he's reached puberty, he has uncontrollable impulses, he lacks a normal environment and proper guidance. Fortunately, he still has a sense of guilt; what if one day, instinct overwhelms reason? When I was young, I saw a mother who committed suicide after being raped by her son. Then the son went insane; he had been mentally unstable before, having repeatedly tried to harm his mother since childhood. As he grew up, the mother seemed to have no other way to go but to hide and curse, and the son seemed to have no other path but to be scorned by everyone. Sometimes we think that moral rules are innate, even animals understand that incest between parents and siblings is forbidden, yet tragedies still happen. What kind of process and psychological distortion occurs in between? Why can't reason suppress instinct? Why does it get out of control? Perhaps only the individuals involved know. Until the tragedy occurs, we can only assume it's due to mental illness.
The son is young and may be naive about some things, but a mother should know. Knowing this and not guiding him properly—what else is this but deliberate indulgence? Children should be taught independence from a young age; the first step is sleeping in their own bed. Doesn't the mother even understand this basic common sense? Sleeping with her son for 17 years without advising him to sleep alone, letting him touch her indiscriminately—is that a form of enjoyment? For seventeen years, the son has rarely interacted with others; his eyes are only for his mother. What kind of extreme and perverse love is this? What kind of educational deficiency is this? A child who is insecure, sensitive, and driven to the brink of madness by his physical urges and Oedipus complex—what can others do but confront his mother, remind her to cooperate, and try to save her child? He doesn't want his mother to know; he loves her, but is afraid of hurting her. What can others do? Can't he just let himself come to his senses?
He's not an adult woman; how can he know that his mother was truly asleep when he touched her? There are too many things he doesn't understand! Pubertal sexual urges are normal and can be guided. Mothers should educate their children on how to cope with their growth, how to interact with society and other girls. Without a father, the mother is a failure. All I can say to this boy is this: if you don't want to hurt your mother and don't want a tragedy to happen, you must stop these thoughts. You must sleep separately first, and tell your mother you don't want to sleep with her anymore. Even if she's confused, you can't be confused too!
Many people have a mother complex; if you like your mother, find a girl who resembles her to be your wife. You can't place all your love on your mother. If you're a good child, if you really want to save yourself, start by sleeping separately from your mother. If you can't do this first, then there's no point in talking about the next step.
[The End]

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