【The Lover】(Life is a wondrous journey) Author: Unknown

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

My Lover
Author: Unknown
Word Count: 12905 words
I want to enter you, my lover, from any angle, whether from your sexy little mouth, or your firm
breasts, or any part of your mysterious forbidden zone.
I want to kiss you, my lover, kiss every part of your body, kiss your beautiful and proud face, kiss
your exquisite jade earlobes, kiss your seemingly cold but actually warm flower garden.
I also want to praise you, my lover, your jade buttocks are so high and round, your beautiful legs are so long and slender.
Ah, my lover!
Let me love you to my heart's content!
With my mouth, with my hands, with my body, with all my being!
Let me become one with you!
Life is a wonderful journey, the lives of others constitute my life, and my life is
a small town in the journey of others.
The story I am about to tell is the beginning of my life's journey, and also an extremely wonderful one.
One summer afternoon that year, I came to this school and packed my bags in the dormitory for the upcoming four years
.
In winter, I got a girlfriend, whom I called Yi. Our loneliness brought us together.
The hustle and bustle of campus life led us to move out of the dorms and rent an apartment together.
It was a two-bedroom unit. We lived separately, like neighbors, but not like lovers. Of course, she remained celibate towards me
.
Studying, taking exams, eating, sleeping, walking with Yi—life went on in a repetitive cycle, each day ending uneventfully. Life
felt like a thin thread that couldn't be held, growing increasingly empty.
There were all sorts of clubs at school: calligraphy, painting, research, martial arts, and so on. Reality and illusion,
good and bad, all mixed together.
Yi looked at me every day; she seemed to understand me.
"Sigh, why don't you go practice taekwondo? You're so skinny," Yi said to me one day, her tone
slightly joking. I actually agreed. Perhaps it was because of the last sentence, "You're so skinny."
Yi's laughter, my momentary anger, brewed a small ripple that would later occur. This ripple made the dull
days a little more interesting, but it also brought endless bitterness.
After signing up, I practiced with a group of people in judo robes every afternoon. Running, leg stretches, kicking, etc.
, it was no different from studying, just as boring. But I went every day because Qianwen was there.
Who is Qianwen?
A senior student, a year ahead of me.
How do I know her name?
She's a director of the Taekwondo club, and very few people don't know her.
Is she the only director of the Taekwondo club?
No, but only she makes me swoon. I was captivated the first time I saw her: about 160 cm tall, with ear-length black hair 　　that swayed
with her movements . Her face was cold as frost, exuding chastity and pride. Her slightly red lips were incredibly sexy. The V- 　　neck of her judo robe revealed a section of her pink breasts, and the tightly cinched belt accentuated her slender waist. The baggy judo pants concealed 　　her lower body curves, but it was clear that her legs were extremely long. Her bare feet were like jade carvings. 　　This very person led to the poem at the beginning and ignited the fuse of my life. 　　The Taekwondo club practices every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday; Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday are for individual practice. I didn't like Taekwondo 　　, and with the weather too hot, I skipped Thursday's practice and went swimming instead. My swimming skills 　　aren't great, but I enjoy the feeling of floating in the water, so I often go swimming. However, 　　after today, I had another reason to go swimming: I met Qianwen at the swimming pool. 　　She was wearing a white swimsuit, and although she was wearing goggles and her hair was covered, I recognized her immediately. I wanted to 　　greet her, but when I saw her perfect figure, I abandoned the idea—my lower body 　　suddenly became erect. Qianwen also saw me, waved to me from a few people away, and went into the water, her face still 　　so proud and beautiful. 　　Qianwen is so beautiful! Last time I couldn't see clearly through her judo robe, but this time every detail was clear to me. Her 　　skin was snow-white, flawless from thigh to toe. Her buttocks were firm and high, her legs round and full, her 　　calves well-proportioned. She must have very little pubic hair, because she was wearing a swimsuit without an apron. 　　I wanted her, I wanted to be with Qianwen. 　　I submerged myself in the corner of the swimming pool and began to masturbate. My semen floated in the water like duckweed, 　　and I, like the semen, had nowhere to settle. How could I get Qianwen? It seemed like a dream. 　　As far as I knew, Qianwen had no boyfriend and remained chaste. She wanted to focus on her studies, graduate, and make a name 　　for herself before considering romantic relationships. Faced with such a virtuous woman, how could I possibly achieve my desires? 　　Back in my and Yi's dormitory, I collapsed into bed. Let my anguish be left to my dreams. 　　When I woke up in the morning, I had ejaculated terribly. 　　No, I wasn't satisfied. As the ancients said, "Even a slow horse can travel ten days' journey if it perseveres." I would try too. 　　After observing for half a month, I discovered that Qianwen went swimming every Saturday. And she always swam until very late. The only female manager at the swimming 　　pool knew her well and always let her swim until she was satisfied before leaving. Sometimes he would even 　　give her the keys and go home himself. Qianwen seemed to have endless frustration, which she sought to release through constant swimming. 　　This was the origin of my plan. 　　It was another Saturday. I was going to take a gamble. 　　I stayed at the swimming pool until closing time, then hid in the men's changing room (I figured the manager wouldn't dare come in). 　　Every now and then I would go out to check things out. By the fifth time I went out, the only 　　sound left in the entire swimming pool was Qianwen splashing water—the manager was gone. I entered the women's 　　changing room and began to implement my plan. 　　The women's changing room was different from the men's. Unlike the men's changing room, where everyone changed and 　　showered naked together, the women's changing room consisted of individual cubicles, each with a shower and a locker for clothes 　　. Each cubicle had its own name written on the door. 　　Now, except for Qianwen's cubicle which is still closed, all the other cubicles are empty. There are 　　some chairs on the floor of the changing room, so you can sit down if you're tired. I used them to make a "bed," and then hid it in the cubicle next to Qianwen's.

I got up.
Waiting, time ticked by in the darkness, and I could still faintly hear Qianwen splashing water.
Slowly, everything quieted down; slowly, the sounds of bare feet hitting the ground, the door opening,
the rustling of clothes being undressed, the faucet spraying water, the sound of water droplets hitting skin—each sound entered my ears. In the darkness,
Qianwen seemed to stretch, letting out a long yawn. Qianwen's voice was so sweet.
And I, watching Qianwen from next door, was about to make my move. Holding a four-pound rubber mallet, I
quietly waited for my opportunity. Although my heart was pounding in my throat, and my genitals were about to burst, my
breathing remained steady and even. As soon as Qianwen emerged from her cubicle, I would strike her unexpectedly on the back of the head, guaranteeing
she would be knocked unconscious. To be honest, I didn't dare fight her face-to-face—she was a master of Taekwondo.
Qianwen finally emerged, wearing a tight-fitting t-shirt that barely reached her waist and a knee-length
denim mini-skirt, looking incredibly sexy. I did as I'd described, and Qianwen collapsed into my arms
—I caught her before she fell, not wanting her to be defiled by the filth.
Holding Qianwen, I placed her on the "bed," and in the dim light, began to admire this
virgin who had captivated me.
(Continued)
Her shapely breasts were almost spilling out of her t-shirt, which barely covered her waist, barely concealing her beautiful
navel.
Her waist was so slender; I touched it—it was incredibly elastic, and her skin was soft and smooth. The tight denim mini-skirt was
pushed back by her high, rounded buttocks, revealing her flat stomach. And the deep blue color made her already
mysterious forbidden area even more alluring.
I slowly lifted Qianwen's short skirt, revealing her most alluring feature—her long,
beautiful legs. Qianwen's legs weren't just beautiful; her Taekwondo training had developed her leg muscles exceptionally well,
making them long, shapely, and powerful—far more than just pretty legs.
Faced with such a beauty, I was at a loss for where to begin. My lower body was already unbearably aroused. Just then
, I heard a voice outside: "Qianwen, haven't you left yet? I'm back to lock the door."
Here's a story I want to tell you: "Once upon a time, there was a mountain, on the mountain was a temple, in the temple was a
monk, and outside the temple was a pond. One day, the temple flooded, and the monk ran to the pond to fetch water to put out the fire. Alas
, there was a water monster in the pond, and the monk was eaten by the monster, and the temple was reduced to ashes."
In short, everything was gone.
I, burning with lust, escaped from the swimming pool wall and returned to Yi and my dormitory.
Time: 9:00 p.m.
Luckily, I had the key, because Yi was already asleep. I tiptoed back to my room, tossing and
turning in bed, unable to sleep. How could I sleep with that endless lust burning within me?
Yi, yes, Yi!
I almost laughed maniacally as I walked towards Yi's room—a room that was never locked. No longer caring about gentlemanly
conduct, I barged in. Seeing Yi on the bed, only wearing her undergarments, with her equally beautiful figure, I
pounced on her like a hungry wolf, tearing off her bra and panties, parting her legs—still dazed from my sudden awakening—
and forcefully thrusting my engorged member into her untouched flower.
"Ah!"
Yi groaned in pain. The pain of her hymen being brutally pierced fully awakened Yi, while the pain from her dry vulva
only fueled my animalistic urges tenfold. I tightly restrained Yi's struggling hands with both hands, and desperately
spread her legs apart, my lower body thrusting in and out at an extremely high frequency.
Yi's blood stained her jade legs, my lower body, and the snow-white sheets, and also lubricated
her dry vulva. The pain was gradually replaced by orgasm, even though Yi was covered in fragrant sweat and her face was streaked with tears.
My body let out low growls: "Qianwen! Qianwen!" My lower body enjoyed Yi's increasingly wet and tight
vulva. Ten minutes later, I felt a gush of fluid gushing out, and Yi felt a surge of heat in her flower garden. I went limp
on Yi's body, and Yi sobbed as she pushed me off the bed.
The next day, Yi couldn't even get up; even the slightest movement caused her lower body excruciating pain. My beastly
bombardment the night before had left Yi's delicate flower garden red and swollen. After that, Yi and I broke up, partly because I had bullied her, and partly because I 　　had called out another girl's name while
I was bullying her . 　　The end of the relationship left me with some pain. Yet, Qianwen remained etched in my mind. She hadn't 　　changed because of the previous incident; she still went to the taekwondo club for practice, still swam until 　　late every Saturday night, and remained chaste. My desire for her, however, grew ever stronger. 　　Lust consumed everything, even my guilt towards Yi. I wanted Qianwen! But not in the way I'd always done 　　. I sent her my first love letter (I'd never even done this with Yi). 　　Days passed, and I received no reply. Qianwen, apart from being even more beautiful, hadn't 　　changed much. A year passed in a blur of desire and longing. 　　During a taekwondo practice, I had the chance to spar with Qianwen. I deliberately pounced on her, trying to 　　get close, but instead, she punched me in the nose, causing it to bleed profusely. From then on, she ignored me completely. 　　Qianwen's aloofness only fueled my desire to possess her; she would pay the price! 　　Qianwen was a loner, renting a small apartment off-campus and living alone. Her daily life was very structured; she always stayed 　　in the same area as her school dormitory. This created opportunities for me. 　　I once followed her to her apartment to examine her door lock. It was a very ordinary old-fashioned lock, 　　without even a safety lock. I figured an ID card would be enough to open it. 　　The next morning... 　　I chose morning because: 　　first, Qianwen would be home too late at night; 　　second, it was bright enough at midday that she wouldn't need to turn on the lights and wouldn't attract attention; 　　and third, it wasn't as quiet at midday, so even if Qianwen called for help, it might not be effective. 　　I skipped class, went to Qianwen's apartment, easily pried open the door, and began to survey the area 　　.

The room was about 50 square meters, simply furnished. Opposite the door was a desk, and to the right of the desk, against the wall, was
a small iron bed. A clean white sheet covered the bed, hanging down the edge. Neatly arranged pillows and
blankets were also there.
All the desk drawers were locked, suggesting Qianwen was a very withdrawn and chaste woman. As for how easily
I opened the door, that was probably the landlord's fault. Lifting the hanging sheet, I saw a wardrobe under the bed.
The clothes inside smelled fresh—Qianwen was such a neat person! However, after my feast, her
few sexy lingerie pieces were filthy.
I'm so sorry, Qianwen.
After observing the room, the plan was basically formed.
Time: 10:00 p.m.
I began my preparations: First, I removed the bed frame—very easy, the frame
was practically lying on top, without any support. Thus, I obtained a sturdy iron frame with four iron legs, capable of being laid flat or upright
. I spread the large bed sheet on the floor and placed the iron frame upright
on top of it.
Next, I ran out and bought a three-meter-long, strong cotton rope, cut it into four sections, and tied them to the four corners of the iron frame
for later use.
Finally, I placed Qianwen's soiled underwear beside me, just in case.
After preparing everything, I hid behind the door, waiting for Qianwen's return.
Here's a note: There is a respiratory anesthetic that takes effect very quickly, and its duration of effect is easily controlled
. It's also easy to obtain in the school's laboratory. This useful substance is called ether. And at this moment, I had such a thing in my pocket
—a towel soaked in ether.
At noon, 12:30 PM
, footsteps, the clinking of keys, the sound of the door opening…
Qianwen entered the room, and also entered the trap.
Before she could react to the changes in the room's layout, I had already begun my operation. My right hand tightly gripped Qianwen from behind
, while my left hand pressed the ether-soaked towel firmly against her mouth.
One minute, two minutes… five minutes later, Qianwen fainted. Ten minutes later, she awoke. Her
limbs were bound, stretched out in the center of an iron frame, standing upright. A man stood before her,
wearing a blue t-shirt, shorts, and slippers. His eyes blazed with fury.
It was me.
Qianwen tried to scream, but her mouth was gagged. I told her that her mouth was filled with my semen-soaked underwear. Her
eyes blazed with anger. I smiled at her and lightly kissed her haughty face.
Last time I admired Qianwen's beautiful figure in the dark while she was clothed; this time, I would admire
her exquisite body naked. Qianwen, dressed in a long white dress, was bound to the bed like a saint about to suffer
.
I unbuttoned the two buttons on the right shoulder of her long dress, then the four buttons on the right side of her waist, and the white gown
slipped down. All that remained was the saint in her undergarments.
Humiliation and anger made Qianwen tremble slightly. I just smiled wickedly at her.
I wasn't in a hurry to strip her naked; I had plenty of time. I decided to stop using my hands to undress Qianwen
. I needed something more exciting. But first, I took off my own clothes—all of them. My erect
penis made me a little shy, but I ignored it.
With my hands braced against the long sides of the iron frame, I enveloped Qianwen beneath my body and began to use my mouth to
remove the last obstacles from her body. Starting from her neck, my lips slid down to her left shoulder. My teeth bit down on the
bra strap, pulling it down, all the way down her left shoulder; similarly, my teeth pulled down the right strap. The black
bra fell freely, landing on the ground. Qianwen's rounded shoulders and firm breasts were revealed.
I was consumed by lust.
I knelt down, wrapped my arms around Qianwen's legs, and pressed my face against her vulva. The wonderful scent of her vulva
filled my nostrils.
My teeth were at work again, but this time I bit into Qianwen's panties—
the narrow band that covered her labia. As I pulled down, I heard Qianwen's soft moan—I had accidentally bitten a few of her
pubic hairs.
I'm so sorry, Qianwen!
Her slightly parted legs seemed to prevent me from removing her last layer of clothing. I went mad, I was furious, and my teeth
tore through Qianwen's black panties like a wild beast.
Red lines were left on Qianwen's legs. Just as ripples on a mirror-like lake make the lake even calmer,
these red lines made Qianwen's legs appear even whiter and smoother than jade.
The virgin was finally naked. Her mysterious forbidden land was now shyly presented before me:
below her white, flat abdomen, a small tuft of dark, shiny pubic hair surrounded two full labia. Between her labia, two pink
petals, seemingly parted yet closed, concealed the entrance to her paradise. A thin membrane blocked the way—it must be Qianwen's hymen
.
"Ah!" I exclaimed excitedly. Qianwen was so beautiful—her arms involuntarily rose,
exposing her hidden armpits to me; her armpits were smooth and bare. Her legs involuntarily parted,
revealing her vulva to me; her hymen was so perfect!
I could no longer restrain myself. Qianwen's angry eyes constantly fueled my lust.
My hands had barely touched Qianwen's breasts when I involuntarily grabbed them. I kneaded them with all my might, causing Qianwen
excruciating pain. Her snow-white, soft breasts instantly became covered in red marks, out of shape.
My hands had barely left when my mouth followed. Like a baby, I suckled on Qianwen's cherry-like nipples.
My mouth opened wider and wider as if to swallow her entire breast. Qianwen's moans grew louder.
My hands, having left her breasts, didn't rest; they roamed over her back, her buttocks,
and her vulva. Wherever they touched, there was suffering.
The teasing intensified, yet Qianwen's lower body remained completely dry. I could no longer control my lust,
but the virgin stubbornly held her ground.
I ignored her!
My hands gripped Qianwen's buttocks tightly, my lower body positioned directly against her vulva, one side back, the other forward.
"Swoosh!" My penis thrust in suddenly, without a trace of mercy.
Pain and anger caused Qianwen to spasm, her limbs struggling, leaving deep marks on her hands and feet.
The stimulation of Qianwen's vagina on me made me lose myself, and I pounded into her with the force of a thousand horses.
Two lines of clear tears flowed from Qianwen's eyes, and patches of blood flowed from her lower body. Fresh blood flowed down Qianwen's fair
legs to her heels, dripping onto the sheets, blooming like roses. Her lubricated and tight vagina was like an unobstructed
road, igniting my relentless pursuit.
In this vagina, which was a thousand times tighter than Yi, I thrust for ten minutes before ejaculating.
I held Qianwen tightly, using my now limp lower body to block Qianwen's jade gate, leaving all my semen inside her
.
Sitting on the ground, I admired this virgin again. Now, her face was covered in tears. I think she must have felt
the burning sensation of my hot semen, because her proud, snow-white face was now as red as the morning glow. Her lower body
was soaking wet. Her blood, my semen, and the nectar of her flower garden mingled together, covering her swollen
vulva.
I walked behind her, wanting to admire the beauty's bare back. But as soon as I saw her high, round buttocks, my
penis became erect again.
I hugged her from behind, kneading her breasts with my left hand and stroking her vulva with my right,
guiding her nectar little by little into her anus. Gradually, Qianwen's anus became wet, and I aimed at it, thrusting my hips and inserting my entire penis.
Qianwen fainted from the pain.
Ah! It was too tight. My penis could barely breathe. After only ten or so thrusts, my semen entered Qianwen's body again
.
In one hour, I did this, alternating between front and back, six times with Qianwen. Qianwen was constantly awakened by the pain and then
fainted again.
After resting for ten minutes, I laid the iron frame flat. Because Qianwen's breasts were so alluring, I decided
to have sex with them.
I spread my legs, clamped Qianwen's breasts between them, and placed my genitals into her deep cleavage. Qianwen's vaginal fluids
were the best lubricant. This position allowed me to look into Qianwen's eyes while I was having sex.
Looking into Qianwen's hateful eyes, I reached orgasm again and again. Just as I was about to ejaculate again,
I had a sudden idea. I clamped Qianwen's mouth shut with my hand, making it slightly open, removed her panties from her mouth, and
shot a thick stream of hot semen into her mouth. The large amount of semen almost suffocated Qianwen.
In her anger, Qianwen fainted, and I, whose desire had been completely satisfied, was filled with regret and pity
—I had loved Qianwen so much.
I untied Qianwen's limbs and placed her, now unconscious, on the still-white sheets. Then I
lay down on top of her.
My lower body pressed against Qianwen's jade-like buttocks, my chest enveloped Qianwen's pink back, my
legs entwined with hers, my hands caressed her heart, and my face was pressed against Qianwen's dark hair.
We slept in each other's arms like lovers—listening to each other's heartbeats, waiting for each other to wake up,
seemingly destined to be together for eternity…
(To be continued)
********************************************************************************************
I so desperately wanted to be Qianwen's lover, but lacking both courage and the ability to suppress my desires, I did what
hurt her.
In this sequel, I want to write about how Qianwen and I became true lovers and our happy life
together.
What I want to say is that happiness can be naturally pursued; "taking by force" hurts others and only
leads to heartbreak.
**********
...

I told her of my love for her
and my constant longing for her.
I didn't ask for her forgiveness, because I felt it was unlikely, and besides, a man who's
already done it shouldn't be afraid to take responsibility.
Like falling asleep, my consciousness grew increasingly blurred, and I began to feel that the person speaking wasn't
me. Gradually, I couldn't even hear what was being said anymore. I thought I was going to die.
Good people are happy; they have a joyful life while they're alive, and after death, they have God and angels to accompany
them. Bad people aren't like that; they suffer from the torment of conscience while they're alive, and after death, they have to suffer in hell
(of course, such bad people are not completely bad; truly bad people, even in hell, are devils, not prisoners
). I am a partially bad person, so I have suffered much from the torment of conscience and am prepared to go to hell to be
punished.
A merciful God, even at the cost of being injured by Satan, still tries to influence him with sincerity; miracles and surprises exist in life,
perhaps God created all of this.
A magical light shone on my humble body, restoring my consciousness.
I was lying on a snow-white bed, the pain in my abdomen seemingly gone.
"Heaven, this must be heaven. Though I never dared to hope for God's mercy."
Heaven is freedom, so I wanted to cry out, to find my joy, but before I could utter a
sound, a voice drifted into my ears: "2078, take your medicine."
Immediately afterward, a person dressed entirely in white gave me a medicine bottle and a glass of water.
"People in heaven need medicine too?"
I was still reeling from the shock, my mind seemingly sluggish. After a long period of thought, I came to a conclusion...
The answer was both laughable and pathetic—I was still alive.
"God, I can't even atone for my sins with death?!" Now I finally understood Yin Zhiping's feelings in *The Return of the Condor Heroes*
.
I wanted to get out of bed and leave this place, because I wanted to find a place to hide so Qianwen couldn't find me; that way, at
least my conscience would be a little clearer. However, with the slightest exertion, my abdomen felt like it was being ripped open by a thousand knives. The pain made me
lose my balance, and I fell heavily to the ground, the wound on my abdomen seemingly bursting open.
The nurse (I now knew that the person dressed entirely in white was a nurse) immediately rushed over. "Your girlfriend went through
so much trouble to bring you here, and she just stitched up your wound. What are you going to do now?"
"My girlfriend?"
I didn't pay much attention to the nurse's impatient scolding, but the word "girlfriend" sent a chill down my spine.
"Could it be Yi? Impossible. Then it's… Qianwen?"
I dared not think any further; my heart felt like it was being gnawed by a thousand ants—a sharp pain mixed with an itchy ache.
"I treated her like that... her genitals were so swollen, how did she bring me here... why did she treat
me like that?" I spent thirteen days in extreme speculation and the anxiety it induced.
With my not-fully-healed knife wound, I forced myself to leave the hospital—first, I didn't have enough money for hospital fees; second
, I desperately wanted to see Qianwen again. I wanted to see if she was better, even if she stabbed me tens of thousands more times.
Qianwen moved, left the Taekwondo club, and never went to the swimming pool again; she seemed to have vanished from the face of the earth.
Guilt tormented me, growing stronger day by day, but I still couldn't find Qianwen. This made me
question the meaning of my life, and my belief in the reality of the world began to waver. And who was responsible for all of this? Qianwen
? Me?
I began to become addicted to the internet, spending my days aimlessly in the online world, sometimes playing the good guy, sometimes the bad
guy. No one knew who the other person was, and no one could actually harm anyone—perhaps this was one of
the advantages of the internet. In this illusory world, I was fortunate enough to find Qianwen again, to find
the true love I had lost, or rather, never had.
That day, I was browsing the internet as usual, when unexpectedly, I found a beautiful place
—a person's personal webpage. Although I knew it was all an illusion, the melancholy blue, the faint
sadness, and the elusive beauty reminded me of someone, and
reopened the wounds I thought had long since healed.
"Qianwen! Is this Qianwen?" My heart had never been so conflicted: I both hoped it was, and feared it might be
…
Time dilutes pain, but it also melts away courage.
Now, I truly don't know if I still have the courage to see Qianwen again. Although I don't expect her forgiveness,
having a love affair with her is basically a pipe dream.
But my love for her hasn't faded with time; instead, it has grown stronger, like fine aged wine.
Just as I was lost in thought, the webpage owner clicked on my profile.
"Where are you?"
My heart was heavy, and my words stammered; I couldn't think of a reply.
"Run away!" So I ran away.
But that website seemed to have cast a spell on me. For the next week, I thought about it constantly, and about
her too. I noticed I was getting thinner and thinner; all my clothes seemed a size too big.
It seems the ancient poems were true. Whether it's vulgar or not, I want to say it: "For her sake I grow thin and
haggard, yet I have no regrets." Not regret, but no regrets, because my weight loss seemed unstoppable.
I eventually went back to that website, that melancholic yet beautiful world.
"Where are you?" The host's unsettling voice appeared again.
"XX," I replied with my name, because I always felt that life was unpredictable and meaningless, so I
gave myself a name that meant nothing.
"XX?" the host asked doubtfully.
"XX!" I replied confidently.
"Hello?"
"Hello."
"Do you like it here?"
"Yes!"
"Tell me about it?"
"Blue is like the sea, I'm like a fish, you're a sea maiden, the music is beautiful, and the fish are happy."
"Heh..." Our first conversation ended with her asking and answering questions, and I was so passive.
After that, every time I went online, I would chat with her for a bit, and laughter gradually increased. Life seemed to be improving
.
One month later, I received an email: "The sea is lively because of the fish, the music
is beautiful because of the fish, and the sea maiden is happy because of the fish. XX, are you happy today?"
Happy, extremely happy! How could I not be happy that the imagined Qianwen could "interact" with me like this?
But it seems a bit unfair to the website owner. Right, how could I be so stupid? After interacting for so
long, I still don't know her "name."
I have to ask her; maybe she is Qianwen!
So I replied via email:
"I'm fine, thank you for saying that to me, I'm very happy. Also—please forgive my rudeness
and intrusion—mayyourname?"
I immediately received a reply: "Can't hand in the exam paper. This is a riddle. If you guess it, I'll tell you
my name. Who told you to be so careless?"
My head swelled several times over. I've always considered riddles difficult, let alone guessing wrong—how embarrassing
! I think every man doesn't want to embarrass himself in front of the woman he loves. I
thought and thought, but still couldn't figure it out. Suddenly, a sentence popped into my head: "Qianwen, help me!"
Hey, I've got it! "Can't hand in the exam paper" is "欠文" (qiàn wén), right? Ha! I guessed it.
"欠文, the answer is 欠文, right? Tell me your name quickly." I immediately replied via email
.
"You're such an idiot!" she replied.
I don't understand, how am I an idiot? Didn't I already guess it? Oh! "Qianwen," could it be Qianwen? Excitement made
my heart race, but remembering the past filled me with immense frustration: "Even if it really is her, so what?"
In the shield, I hastily logged off.
Should I only maintain an online relationship with her? That would undoubtedly be the best way, but every day I couldn't make up for my
mistake, I would suffer for another day.
No, I had to try, at least to find out if she was really Qianwen. I think what prompted my final decision
wasn't just guilt, but also the love I had never let go of.
Another email: "I want to see you. If you're willing to see me,
wait for me at the Red Tea House on Lover's Road tomorrow night at 8:00 PM. xx." I regretted sending it as soon as I sent it, but the message couldn't be taken back.
The next day, I arrived at the agreed place at six o'clock, but I didn't dare go in. I thought, maybe I should just see her from afar
, perhaps it's not her? I'll be a coward this time.
Einstein described relativity by saying, "When waiting for a lover, a second seems like a year; when spending a night with a lover
, ten thousand years are also a second." My situation was the same as the first half of that statement.
The clock hand finally and reluctantly pointed to 8. My eyes darted around, afraid of missing it, yet afraid of not
being seen in time.
God said the sky was too pale, so there were clouds. God said the world was too desolate, so there were people. God said
Adam was too lonely, so there was Eve. The night wind, finding my eyes too lonely, sent Qianwen.
Qianwen seemed to want to forget the past, so she didn't wear white; yet the melancholy brought by pain plunged her into
deep blue. Her hair seemed longer, past her shoulders, and her original aloofness combined with her current melancholy made her even more beautiful
.
The Yue maiden Xi Shi was made more beautiful by her heart ailment, but people only saw her beauty and didn't feel her heartache—Xi Shi was
pitiful.
Qianwen was the same. And all of this was my doing.
"Go see her, you coward!" I took a few steps forward. "What will you face?"
The fear that arose from the unknown pulled me back.
Qianwen sat in that doorway, admiring the night view through the glass window. Did she know that I was also in a
corner of the night?
Two conflicting thoughts made me take a few steps forward and then retreat, then take a few more steps forward and retreat again. Gradually, this
"forward" and "backward" movement turned into pacing. I paced back and forth in front of the teahouse, and time paced back and forth with me
, from eight o'clock to nine o'clock, seemingly destined to keep pacing. Time seemed to be playing a trick on me, but I had already
given up first; how could I possibly win against time?
More importantly, Qianwen was unwilling to wait any longer. She got up, pushed open the glass door of the teahouse, and stepped into the night breeze.
Her long hair was caressed and fluttered in the wind. Her long dress was blown up by the wind, revealing her infinitely beautiful curves
.
"Let me see her off," I said to myself, though I knew it was self-deception. I just wanted to know
where she lived; what right did I have to protect her?
And so, she walked in the night breeze, with me following behind. The streets were brightly lit, the black sky and the dim yellow
lights making the world appear incredibly profound.
Qianwen's home seemed very remote, and I was glad I had the courage to follow her—in such a remote place,
a girl as beautiful as her, even if we were complete strangers, should be treated as a protector, especially since she was Qianwen…
At a corner, several drunkards, arm in arm, staggered and bumped into each other on the street
. Qianwen seemed to be entangled by them, unable to escape their "encirclement," and those bastards
even seemed to be physically assaulting her.
I was furious, my eyes burning like fire (I couldn't see myself, but they must have been very red), and disregarding
the difference in strength, I rushed forward: "Stop, you fucking stop!"
I tried my best to lower my head, hoping to use the darkness to hide my face so that Qianwen wouldn't see me. I think I
must have been like a bull, head down, eyes red, rushing here and there, taking countless punches and
kicks, and even seemingly being stabbed.
I felt life slipping away again; the drunkards seemed to be frightened away by my madness, as if they weren't mad enough
.
"This time, I'm afraid I'm really going to heaven," I thought vaguely. "I wonder if Qianwen is alright
."
Not knowing if she's safe might be my only regret in life, but it was also this regret that saved me from the
brink of death and brought me to a world of unparalleled happiness.
Back at the hospital, this time I didn't treat the nurses like angels. I just asked everyone, "Have you seen Qianwen
? Is she alright?" As a result, I was inexplicably taken from the emergency room to the psychiatric ward. Good heavens, is fate
playing another cruel joke on me at this point?
I kept saying I was fine, I just wanted to know where my friend was. But no one believed me. One person
even asked me what 1+1 equals. Damn it (please forgive my profanity).
"Where is my friend? Where is Qianwen? Please tell me!" Years of suppressed emotions almost made me
cry.
"Who's your friend?!" A familiar voice rang in my ears.
"Qianwen!" I shouted desperately.
Let the past be the past. Regardless of whether Qianwen forgives me or not, I want to shout out the
name that haunts my dreams.
"Don't think that just because you saved me, I'll forget everything from before. I will never forgive you!" Qianwen seemed
to be crying too; the pain of the past overwhelmed her.
Whatever she says, as long as Qianwen is willing to talk to me, I'd die a thousand times over. I even
laughed maniacally, "Qianwen is finally willing to talk to me! Qianwen is finally willing to talk to me!" I shouted
.
"Still saying you're not crazy!" the doctor who asked me what one plus one equals muttered.
I ignored him; I just felt that being able to see Qianwen again, to say a few words to her (even if she scolded me),
would make me the happiest person in the world.
My injuries were serious—two broken ribs, several stab wounds to the abdomen, and the earlier
commotion had worsened my condition. Qianwen took care of me with a cold face every day, and whenever I wasn't unconscious, I would always look at her and
"smile foolishly." Sometimes she couldn't help but scold me, but the more she scolded me, the brighter my smile became. Her face often turned
red with anger, which was absolutely beautiful!
I seemed to be getting better slowly, but the doctor kept saying I needed to stay in the hospital for observation. Whenever I got angry, I would run around aimlessly,
causing Qianwen to have to search for me in every ward. Each time she found me, I would grin foolishly at her and enjoy watching her blush
. I think those were the happiest times of my life.
Once, I hid in the doctor's office, wanting her to search for me a little longer
. I hid so well that even the doctor didn't notice me. I watched the doctors bustling about, waiting for Qianwen to come find me.
Qianwen finally arrived, but instead of asking the doctor where I was, she
sat down in the office chair as if she had arranged it beforehand.
The doctor looked up from his work and spoke, "Miss Qianwen, is that you?"
"Yes," Qianwen replied simply.
"You need to be prepared, your boyfriend's condition isn't good. He already had a lump in his brain, but
it was a dormant benign tumor. This time, the impact on his brain was too great, and the lump has a tendency to become malignant."
I only saw Qianwen's aloof face turn even paler; I wasn't affected by the doctor's words. Firstly, I didn't
quite believe him; secondly, I felt I should have died long ago. Having hurt Qianwen so much, and now receiving her meticulous care
, I would die without regret. I was just a little reluctant to leave Qianwen, reluctant to leave the beautiful
music of the master of the deep sea and the sea maiden.
However, Qianwen's increasingly pale face and increasingly moist eyes shocked me. Did Qianwen care about my life
or death? Would she shed tears for me? Besides, this was the second time someone had called Qianwen my girlfriend.
I didn't seem to feel any discomfort in my head, so I left after everyone in the doctor's office had left
.
Back in the ward, I saw Qianwen sitting motionless on my bed, staring at the ward
door like a statue. I wanted to smile foolishly at her again, to cheer her up, but she suddenly jumped up like a madwoman
and hugged me tightly. These actions seemed to have been brewing for a long time, or perhaps she had been sitting there just to make this
decision.
"Who are you? Are you that demon? Or that little fish? Or neither? Why did you hurt
me and then save me? Why did I kill you and then save you? Why is all this happening?!" she
screamed hysterically, as if asking me, as if asking herself, and even more so, as if asking the world.
I remained motionless, letting her hold me, like a piece of wood, a piece of wood enveloped in sorrow, a piece of
wood soaked in tears, a piece of wood about to wither. Qianwen held me like a drowning person clutching a straw
, and fell asleep. Of course, I also fell asleep, but my eyes were open.
I think that night truly allowed me to escape the past, to escape the pursuit of guilt. I felt Qianwen's forgiveness
, and I felt Qianwen's love.
Later, Qianwen told me that she had actually spotted me in the corner that night, and those thugs were just
some of her distant cousins. The fight was nothing more than a murder…
She said she had fallen in love with a little fish in the deep sea, and she didn't know where to go…
I listened, and I believed it was all true. I was happy for this truth, and felt incredibly blessed.
I wanted to wipe away Qianwen's tears, but I was afraid she would suddenly disappear, afraid it was all just a dream. But
I ignored all that!
I kissed Qianwen's face again, kissing away her tears, reddening her beautiful face, and warming
her tormented heart…
Strangely, the doctor said the tumor in my brain could become malignant at any time, but I have lived happily with Qianwen
ever since, and I am still healthy, happy, and blessed. Perhaps it was Qianwen's love that saved me.
God said that man was too greedy, so he banished Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden, exiling them to earth to
suffer.
God was wrong, because man is a creature capable of generating happiness from suffering. Adam and Eve left
the monotony of the Garden of Eden and created happiness in the human world.
[The End]

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