【The Secret to Happiness】(01)

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

On a gloomy afternoon, I walked along a road strewn with fallen leaves. Rain, accompanied by the autumn wind,
lashed against me, soaking my coat before I suddenly felt a chill. I opened my umbrella and continued walking towards school.
The school bell rang shortly afterward, and students began to arrive, some laughing and playing in small groups,
brimming with youthful energy. Just as they were all gone, a girl with a blank expression emerged. She
walked slowly without an umbrella, as if everything around her was irrelevant.
"Xiaoxue," I called to her.
"Umbrella."
The girl looked up, stopped, and instead of a happy smile, stared
at me with a strange look. When I reached her and handed her the umbrella, she pushed me away forcefully and ran towards the door.
My umbrella fell to the ground, rain immediately hitting my face. I stared blankly as the girl's figure receded into the distance,
gradually disappearing from my sight. This was the last time I saw my daughter.
Chapter 1: When Love is a Memory
I was once very happy, with a gentle and kind wife, a beautiful and lovely daughter, and a happy
and fulfilling family.
I was once very successful, with a job that everyone envied and a good salary.
I was once very promiscuous, with a stable wife at home and mistresses on the side.
I was once a teacher, living an ordinary life in an ordinary city. Until
one day, I had an affair with a very beautiful female student. Soon she became pregnant, and I made her
abort the child, but her father found out. She lived in a single-parent family; her father was a high-ranking official, so she
was his precious daughter. I not only stole her father's precious daughter but also defiled her, which enraged him
.
I was first beaten up by several strangers and then brought before her father. I only had two
choices: either be expelled from school and leave the city, or divorce my husband and marry his daughter, letting beauty cover up all my flaws.
In the end, I compromised. I couldn't give up everything and leave this place; I could only choose the latter.
My wife's tears broke my heart, my father's scolding filled me with remorse, but it was all too late. The most unfortunate
person was my daughter, Xiaoxue, who was still so young. My ex-wife, Lanjun, and I kept it a secret from her until she
grew up. But secrets can't stay hidden forever; she eventually found out. She stopped talking to me and stopped
calling me "Dad."
My father-in-law was about to retire, and to avoid being purged afterward, he began planning to immigrate. Soon after, we completed our
immigration procedures to Canada and embarked on our journey to a foreign land on a rainy autumn day.
Life abroad was very comfortable, but I felt lonely. My wife knew I was a sentimental
person and urged me to go back to China, but my father-in-law said, "We have enough to eat and wear here, why go back?" Helpless
, I asked a friend to take care of my ex-wife and daughter in China. Although I sent money back every month, I
always worried about them.
Five years passed, and my father-in-law suddenly suffered a heart attack and passed away. No one could stop me from returning home, but
I no longer had the courage to face them. My youngest daughter is already 10 years old and looks more and more like her older sister.
Eating and walking in the park with my wife and daughter every day has improved my mood considerably. I thought I would
grow old here, but a phone call disrupted my life again.
One Thursday evening, a friend called to tell me that my ex-wife was hospitalized and seriously ill. I couldn't
sit still any longer. My wife, upon hearing the news, told me to go back. I said, "Why don't we go back together?" And so,
the three of us hurriedly returned to China.
We arrived that evening, and my wife and daughter seemed very tired. I arranged for them to stay in a hotel, and then went alone to
our old home. I stood at the door for a full hour, smoking cigarette after cigarette, my fingers hovering
over the light switch countless times, but I still didn't have the courage to ring the doorbell. Time ticked by, and with a final sigh
, the door opened.
When Xiaoxue saw me, she seemed very surprised. We stared at each other for almost a minute.
"You—come in."
"Ah—" My daughter was a little nervous, fidgeting with her hair. She's grown up now, very
beautiful, and looks a lot like her aunt. Looking at my daughter, I felt a little comforted.
Should we go downstairs?
It's nothing, it's not urgent, sit down.
That's good.
We sat for a while, neither of us speaking. Looking at the unchanged furniture and appliances in the room
, I felt a pang of sadness.
Did you go to the hospital?
Not yet, visiting hours are over, so—oh—have you eaten?
I ate on the plane. Um—Xiaoxue—what?
Don't worry about Mom's illness, there shouldn't be any major problems after the surgery.
Yeah.
Are you—doing well? (This question is idiotic; how can a child without a father be happy?)
Yeah.
—Do you still hate Dad?
My daughter was silent.
—I knew my daughter must hate me. I abandoned her and her mother, I made her lose her father, I—Suddenly, I knelt before my daughter.
I'm sorry, it's all Dad's fault.
What—what are you doing? My daughter stood up, bewildered.
Please forgive me, Xiaoxue.
"Get up quickly," my daughter said, turning and leaving.
I was too hasty; how could I expect her to forgive me with just a few words? Perhaps it will take a long time to
make amends, but I will try my best. I owe my daughter so much—I'll go back now. "
Hmm," came my daughter's trembling voice from inside. Was she crying? I stood outside the door, unsure whether
to leave.
"Xiaoxue," I knocked on the door, but there was no response. I pushed the door open and went in. My daughter was hiding under the covers,
sobbing softly.
"Xiaoxue, it's Daddy's fault. Daddy doesn't deserve your forgiveness. I— Why did you come back? Why
did you reappear? Why?" Xiaoxue's eyes were filled with tears, her hair slightly disheveled.
I hugged my daughter tightly, and she cried even harder, repeatedly asking "why—why—".
After a long time, she slowly stopped crying, and then we talked for a long time—before I knew it,
I fell asleep.
The next morning, I was awakened by the noisy horns outside. My hometown hadn't changed at all; in
Canada, you rarely hear car horns. My daughter stared at me blankly, but when I looked at her, she closed
her eyes, pretending not to be awake. Gently running my fingers through her hair, looking at her pretty face, my
heart couldn't calm down. My daughter had grown up; I hadn't given her enough love. I kissed her forehead
and went to the kitchen to make her breakfast.
In Canada, I'm always the one cooking, while my wife takes care of the other chores (she doesn't cook),
so breakfast was ready in no time.
My daughter was already up and greeted me (she comes from an intellectual family and is very
polite), then started washing up. Girls are more troublesome; it took her a while to get everything ready. Looking at
the corn porridge, steamed egg custard, and Mapo tofu on the table, my daughter could hardly believe her eyes (I never used
to cook).
After dinner, my daughter and I took a taxi to the hospital. My wife and younger daughter were already there. Outside the hospital,
I introduced them. Xiaoxue seemed very awkward, only offering a simple "hello," while my younger daughter, Jiaojiao
, happily held her sister's hand, asking all sorts of questions.
We went to the ward to visit my ex-wife. She was very weak; it was only then that I learned she had
wind and was unable to speak. Xiaoxue tearfully spoke a lot to her mother, and we
felt quite superfluous standing there. I told my wife to go first, as she needed to visit her grandparents.
I asked the doctor about my ex-wife's condition. The doctor said she wasn't in immediate danger, but there would be aftereffects. Surgery
would require going to City A, but there were risks, and a full recovery couldn't be guaranteed. Finally
, I discussed the matter with my ex-wife's family. I suggested she have the surgery in Canada, and I would cover the costs, given the higher level of medical care abroad.
However, her parents disagreed, arguing that her current condition wasn't suitable for a long journey, and the absence of family
would hinder her recovery.
I left the hospital feeling helpless. What could I do for them now besides money?

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