【Snow on the Cold River】(Part 7)

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7: I was running wildly through the crowded streets, knowing without looking back that Mangzi was chasing me.
More and more people were ahead of me; I'd already knocked down several. I didn't even have time to apologize; I could only
run forward in a panic. As I ran, I came to a fork in the road. Without even looking at the road sign, I frantically
ran into a secluded alley in the old street.
I was completely exhausted; my ankle cramped, and I half-squatted against the wall, rubbing it. Mangzi caught up
, grabbing me tightly with such force that it was hard for me to breathe. I deliberately ignored her, coldly
saying, "Mangzi, let go of me. Your joke today went a bit too far!"
She didn't respond, just hugged me tightly, saying, "Runyun, you don't know, I like you. I've liked you since
the first day of school. You have no idea. I've wanted to hug you like this so much, I've been going crazy. So many nights in the dormitory
, I've gotten up in the middle of the night, stood by the bed and secretly watched you, just wanting to climb into your bed, hug you, and kiss you! Do you know
that?"
I was stunned by Mangzi's words again, and it took me a while to come back to my senses. I timidly replied, "We're both girls
!"
She turned me around, facing my face, and hugged me tightly again: "I know, I know we're
both girls, that's why I'm so repressed, so wronged. Our classmates all think we're close best friends.
Do you know that many of your love letters were delivered to you through me?"
I was stunned. Love letters? I've never received a love letter. I thought I wasn't good-looking enough, and that boys didn't
like me. I was so conflicted about it for a long time!
"Hmph, those idiots, they have no idea that the love letters they asked me to deliver to you were all torn up by me!"
Mangzi's voice was somewhat ferocious, and his clenched teeth scared me a little!
"I hate that I'm not a man. If I were, I could pursue you openly and honestly, and I could
write you love letters myself. What do those filthy boys write in their letters? Things like kissing you lightly, hugging you,
smelling your long hair, drawing your eyebrows for you—I spit on them! They should look in the mirror and see their own dignity!"
I felt that Mangzi was a bit delirious. I was worried that if I kept responding coldly, she would do
something even more extreme, so I rolled my eyes and softened my tone: "Okay, let go of me first, and I'll listen to you,
okay?"
Mangzi hugged me even tighter: "What if you run away again?"
I gently brushed her off: "I won't run away. I'll listen to you. I want to understand why you like a
girl like me. I'm really curious about this; I can't figure it out."
Mangzi let go of me, but worried that I would run away, so she kept holding my hand. To keep her calm, I intentionally or
unintentionally let her hold my hand as we walked hand in hand out of the alley. As we walked, I
listened to her rambling explanations.
"I grew up in a military compound. There weren't any girls around; it was all tomboys. My dad was
a soldier, and he always raised me like a boy. So I always wore my dad's and my brother's military uniforms. Until
one day, I started bleeding down there. I was terrified and didn't dare tell anyone, so I ran to the military hospital by myself.
My mom was the head nurse there, and I knew the doctors quite well, so I went to find an old lady I knew,
Aunt Li. Aunt Li listened to my problem and laughed. She told me it was nothing, that all girls get bleeding.
A couple of days later, my mom found out about it and stopped me, saying I was a big girl now and couldn't wear pants like a tomboy anymore
; I had to wear a skirt. She gave me a nice skirt to wear. I liked the skirt
, but it felt awkward wearing it. So I ignored her and continued wearing my pants,
only adding padding to my long underwear as Aunt Li had instructed.
The year I graduated from high school... " Following my dad's advice, I was originally going to apply to a military academy. But, as fate would have it,
one of my dad's old comrades-in-arms, Uncle Yang, who was serving in Xi'an, came back to Shanghai with his child to visit relatives and also stopped by our house
.
That day, my mom specifically told me that I had to wear a skirt to meet the guests, whether I liked it or not. I reluctantly
wore a skirt. Uncle Yang's son, Yang Weidong, the snotty-nosed kid I used to beat up
, stared wide-eyed at me in the skirt. The two families chatted quite happily and even stayed for a meal.
When the topic of university applications came up, we mentioned the school I wanted to apply to. Coincidentally, the snotty-nosed kid had also applied to that school
. I angrily threw down my bowl and went to my room.
The snotty-nosed kid somehow managed to charm my parents, and soon he sneaked into my room too. I
really hated him. I ignored everything he said, thinking that if he saw I was ignoring him, he would feel embarrassed
and leave on his own…”

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【Snow on the Cold River】(Part 7)

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