【Cold River Snow】(Part Eight, Chapter Thirty-Two)

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Thirty-two.
"Sweet, sweet, your smile is like flowers blooming in the spring breeze, blooming in the spring breeze!"
On the day my mother was executed, we rode in the city public security bureau's family car to the execution ground to collect her body. Many years
have passed, and I can no longer recall all the details of that day. The only thing I remember is
her last smile as she turned back to Yanqiu and me when the gunshot rang out. I subconsciously think of Teresa Teng's
song "Sweet Honey." For many years afterward, I couldn't bear to hear "Sweet Honey" clearly; it
would make me nauseous. But always in the lonely, silent midnight, in the hot, humid summer nights, I would unconsciously
recall my mother's smile, that poignant yet open smile. It seems to have transformed into a
scar etched deep in my heart. It can be ignored, but not avoided!
Looking back, my mother actually revealed too many flaws: her resoluteness, her dissoluteness, her melancholy
, her sorrow. But because Yanqiu was too busy and I was too anxious about my post-graduation plans,
we didn't notice Mother's strange behavior at all. So much so that after she made such a huge blunder,
Yanqiu and I didn't have time to think of a solution; we could only look at each other, completely caught off guard.
Everything happened too fast. The next afternoon, after that absurd night, I routinely bathed and turned my father
over, but I didn't find him in his room. When I finally saw his contorted and grotesque face in the small lattice next to the storeroom
, I touched his nose and found he was already dead. One of his hands was still tightly gripping the wooden
window slats, several prominent scratch marks exposed on the slats. I immediately understood how my father had
died. He had been spying on us the entire night of our debauchery. He had been driven to his
death by our sinful, deserving-to-be-struck debauchery!
I was terrified and completely disoriented. I rushed out of the courtyard, running a long way before I came to my senses. Just as I was planning
to go find Yanqiu, I bumped into him at the alley entrance.
Fear, shock, guilt, helplessness—a whole host of emotions surged into my mind. I wished I could just
faint right now. I know I was trying to avoid it, but I simply didn't have the courage to look back at my father's death
. It was too horrifying! I collapsed weakly into Yanqiu's arms, pointing in the direction of home, but my throat felt
constricted, and I couldn't utter a sound.
Yanqiu held me and helped me up. He nodded at me, his face ashen and forlorn. "Don't say anything, Runyun
, I know everything!"
He waved his hand, clutching a letter. "Go back, go back and read it!"
Yanqiu carried my father to the bed and forcefully closed his glasses. My father still refused to close his eyes,
a slit remaining at the corner of his eye.
I watched Yanqiu bustling about, and in no time, the courtyard was filled with neighbors helping out. They took down the door
panel, placed my father on it, and wrapped him in a white cloth they'd found somewhere. That evening, a funeral
shop delivered burial clothes, and later a coffin was brought in. I watched the chaotic scene in a daze,
leaning against the door like a walking corpse. My mind was blank. Yanqiu, dressed in mourning clothes, knelt before
my father's coffin burning paper money. Aunt Cao, the plump woman next door, said with tears in her eyes, "Please accept my condolences, daughter. He's already like this.
Accept this loss, it's time to wear mourning clothes."
Yanqiu pulled me, still disoriented, to kneel before the coffin, pressing my head to kowtow to my father. The baby cried.
Aunt Cao took the baby, and I instinctively breastfed him. The commotion lasted for most of the night. People gradually dispersed.
Only then did Yanqiu collapse to the ground, as if all her strength had been drained. He let out a long sigh: "Alas!"
He unfolded the letter stuffed in his pocket. I took the crumpled letter, my gaze sweeping over it; it was my mother's
handwriting.
Yanqiu: Seeing this letter is like seeing you in person! A thousand words are left unsaid. I'm leaving now. Yanqiu, Runyun is entrusted to
you. In this life, we've committed enough sins; consider her your karmic debt, sent to collect for me!
Don't ask anything more. Just know that for your peace, I poisoned Runyun's father, and Luo
Yufeng and her scoundrel, I poisoned them too!
Yanqiu, I don't care if you're married in Shanghai. My Runyun, I entrust her to you.
Whether you marry her or not, I know that with your character, you can't bear the pressure from your family. Then you must take good care
of them, mother and child! I've seen through it all; titles and status are all empty words. The child carries your blood; she is
the flesh and blood of your Chen family. When the child grows up, if you're willing to let him be recognized by his family, then take him back to Shanghai
. If you want the child to have peace, then let him stay with Runyun. Runyun has had a hard life, having parents like us. Please
say sorry to her for me!
You must treat Runyun well for the rest of your life, otherwise, I will haunt you even in death! That's it. If there's an afterlife,
I still want to be your good sister. I have no regrets! —Zhang Qiulan's last words

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【Cold River Snow】(Part Eight, Chapter Thirty-Two)

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