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【Filial piety】(3) 

    page views:1  Publication date:2023-03-24  
3.



Around 5 a.m., I got up and saw my mother had just gotten up too. I asked, "Mom, where are you going? Going

out for your morning exercise? I'll go with you!"



"Okay, let's go to People's Park. It's quite close to here! I go there every day

to do aerobics with my old ladies," my mother said proudly.



We jogged slowly and arrived at the park in less than twenty minutes.



I had never been here this early before, and I didn't expect the park to be such a different scene in the morning. It was

completely a world of people exercising. There were groups of people running and jumping, some playing badminton,

and they looked quite professional. There were also some martial arts instructors teaching some children with great skill.



"Mom, I didn't expect you to have such good stamina. You've been jogging for almost twenty minutes, and you

can still keep going. You don't look like an eighty-year-old!" I complimented my mother.



"Mom keeps exercising, by the way, when you get to that aerobics team, don't tell them I'm almost eighty, or you'll

get into trouble again. Last time someone asked me how old I was, and I said I was over seventy. She was so surprised, and later she even hired

a reporter to interview me, making me feel really awkward."



"That's good, it'll promote you as a healthy star!" I joked.



"Don't do that, Mom has never been in the public eye in her whole life, and she doesn't want to be in the limelight now that she's old."



What my mother said was true. She had always been low-key since she was young. Back then, my mother's looks

were among the best in their industrial bureau and even in their entire system. She was also one of the few college graduates, proficient in singing

and , but she never participated in any cultural performances or

activities in their industrial bureau. Therefore, her beauty was quietly sealed away in their system. She gave people the impression

of being a cultured and gentle lady from a well-to-do family.



Beside a small grove of trees in a corner of the park, a group of women gathered.

Although bright

and eye-catching colors, they were, after all, women of a certain age, and words like "radiant" or "graceful" couldn't quite describe them. Of course, if you don't judge them by the standards of young girls or young women, objectively speaking, they were indeed pleasing to the eye!



Most of these women were educated socialites, so even from my young

age perspective, this group of women had very attractive figures and beautiful faces for their age

. My mother's figure and appearance were among

the . Especially my mother; after she took off her outer garment, revealing her tight-fitting clothes, her figure

was still curvaceous, and especially considering her eighty years, she didn't seem stiff or weak; her overall flexibility

was quite good. During the exercise, there were some relatively difficult moves that most women couldn't do, but my mother

dared to attempt them .



Although it was a bit of a struggle, she still managed to do them. After about twenty minutes of dancing, they took

a break, and the middle-aged and elderly women gathered together, joking and laughing.



"Sister Feng (my mother's surname is Feng), you look so stylish today, and you're dancing with more

energy than usual! You even did that 360-degree spin! You're the first one to do that today

!"



"Oh, you don't even know Sister Feng isn't alone today; she's not dancing alone."

At woman who looked to be in her fifties whispered in my mother's ear, but I could still

hear her: "Is that your little lover? He's really handsome!"



"Oh, you old lecher, what nonsense are you talking about? I'm a seventy or eighty-year-old woman, what kind of

frivolous thoughts do I have? Xiao Wu, come here, let me introduce you, this is my son!"



"Oh, it's my nephew! Handsome guy!" Several older women chuckled. It seemed that the craziness of these older

women together was no less than that of women in their thirties and forties.



"Go away, go away! Don't go crazy like that! Look at you, you're all over sixty years old, still fooling around with

kids !" My mother shooed them away.



They started the second set of aerobics. I noticed that my mother's movements seemed more energetic than before; she could

basically keep up with the rhythm of the recording. You know, that's for young people! And some of

the moves that the woman who was talking earlier couldn't even do, but my mother could still do them quite well. Seeing

how healthy my mother was, my worries from last night lessened considerably.



When we got home, my mother wanted to take a shower. Seeing that the water heater was already on, she happily said, "You're

quite thoughtful, child." Seeing my mother's satisfied smile, I felt happy too. Although it was summer,

my mother is getting on in years, and I didn't want her to take a cold shower, so I turned on the water heater before leaving.



My mother took her underwear and went into the bathroom.



Although our old house was large, it was the most old-fashioned courtyard house style, and the living

facilities weren't very complete! Although my brothers and I renovated it several times later, installing all the

modern , there were still many inconveniences. For example, the bathroom wasn't

very big, and it wasn't a separate wet and dry area, so it felt quite cramped.



My mother lives alone in the old house, and our biggest worry is that she'll slip and fall while showering, so the bathroom was the main area I renovated

two years ago . But seeing my mother's agility today, I felt much more at ease.

While she might not be the most agile, at least she won't fall easily. I was sitting in the kitchen eating

, lost in thought, when suddenly I heard my mother exclaim, "Oh dear!" I

jumped up and rushed over.



"Mom, what's wrong?" I pounded on the bathroom door.



"Nothing, nothing, honey, my underwear fell on the floor and got wet, don't worry," my mother quickly

replied.



I breathed a sigh of relief. What should I do? "Do you need me to get it for you?"



"Yes! Go find me a pair of underwear in my closet, it's on the third shelf!" my mother

emphasized .



"Okay!" I went to my mother's bedroom and saw a plastic basin filled with soybeans on the bedside table.

I didn't look at it again and went straight to my mother's wardrobe, searching for her underwear on the third shelf, but I didn't find it.

I searched the other shelves, and when I opened the bottom drawer, what I saw stunned me!



There were so many stockings, masturbation toys, leather underwear, and leather lingerie inside! My mind went blank!



"Xiao Wu, did you find it?" my mother called. I quickly found

a , which looked like it was made from old cotton fabric by my mother.



"Coming, Mom, there's nothing on the third shelf, but I found this on the bottom shelf. Is this okay?" My mother opened

the door, and I handed it to her. "Mom, do you need me to scrub your back?" My mother had asked me to

scrub her back before, so I asked her.



"No need, I can just rinse off the sweat in the summer! You didn't mess up my clothes, did you?" My mother looked at

me, slowly putting on her clothes, and asked casually.



"No!"



"There are fried dough sticks and soy milk. Go eat first, Mom will be right there!" My mother finished dressing and dried her hair with a towel.



"Mom, let me help you!" I took the towel and carefully dried my mother's hair. "



My Xiao Wu really knows how to take care of people!" My mother enjoyed my service.



My mother, fresh from her bath, had a rosy complexion and smooth skin; even the wrinkles on her forehead and around her eyes seemed

less .



"Let's eat, Xiao Wu. Do you have anything planned for this morning?"



"Nothing much, Mom. Do you have any plans? I can come with you!"



"It's nothing much, but lately I've been feeling weak, and sometimes I have some bleeding down there. I haven't had

my period almost twenty-five years, so I'm a little..."



"Mom," hearing this, my heart suddenly tightened. "Why didn't you say so sooner? Should

we go to the hospital now?"



"Silly child, look how worried you are. It's nothing serious, just occasional bleeding.

You come with me this afternoon!"



"Okay, should I call my brothers?" I was worried about my mother's health and didn't want to keep my brothers

in the dark .



"No, please don't! They're all busy. If you hadn't been staying with us these past few days, I wouldn't have

told you! Let's go get checked first, and if it's really bad, we'll tell them." My mother insisted.



"Okay! Mom will be alright, good people are always protected!" I was really worried. Before he

passed away entrusted the five of us to take good care of Mom and to fulfill all her requests!



That shows how much he loved her! But it hasn't even been a year, how could this happen!



I know a few people at the provincial hospital. I called them and said I needed to see a gynecologist, and they all

smiled knowingly. I told them it was my mother, and then they became serious, fully focused, and

started thinking with their big heads instead of their little heads.



"How about this, you take your mother for some tests this afternoon, and we'll talk about it afterwards!" Our only female

classmate was the most rational one.



After a lot of running around up and down the stairs, going in and out of various doors, we finally got the initial result. They sent

our female classmate to talk to me: "Xiao Wu (this female classmate is less than a year younger than me, but she still

calls me that, and our relationship... hehe), Auntie's condition isn't anything special.

There are no tumors in her uterus or ovaries, and she doesn't have any serious inflammation. She

doesn't even have the vaginal atrophy that's common at her age. Her overall condition is better than we imagined. Our head of gynecology said that based on the

aging , she basically has the function of a fifty-year-old. I told her that Auntie is already eighty years old." "No,

she simply doesn't believe it! However, she hasn't found the cause of the frequent bleeding yet, so she suggested you get

a hormone level test. Because people's living conditions are better now, many elderly people maintain

the habit of taking oral estrogen, so the stimulation of estrogen may also cause bleeding. You can go back and ask your aunt

if she's been taking estrogen long-term. She also suggested your mother get a mammogram. She said, 'Hmm!

Don't mind her , she's speaking from a purely medical perspective.' She said that although your mother's breasts sag down to her upper abdomen, the nipples

and tips are pointing upwards, which is very abnormal. She suspects it might be a breast mass!"



"What do you mean by a breast mass, Mingyue? Just tell me directly, it's okay, I can handle it!"



"A breast tumor!"



"Oh! I see, so that means the lower... no, the reproductive system is fine, but the breast might have a problem!"



I realized my tone was a bit disrespectful and couldn't help but look up at my old classmate. She blushed and looked away.

Because this old classmate of mine was my college sweetheart; we were still very much in love when we graduated, and I was her first

man! I can still clearly remember her

crying begging me to be good to her for the rest of her life!



The first thing I asked her was, "Are you okay down there?" It made her laugh in exasperation! But not

long after graduation, she said her family thought I shouldn't have gone into business, that I wouldn't have a future, and they broke up with me!

And she quickly married a government employee and had a child that same year!



I did resent her for a long time after the breakup, but I eventually let it go. After all, I didn't have a

father who was a high-ranking official, and besides, I became a government employee but then quit!



"Yes, let's go get one done soon, it won't take long, it'll be over quickly!"



My mother's checkup was finished, it was already past 5 pm. I drove her to eat Huaiyang cuisine to

celebrate! After a long day, the results were finally in, and they were good. There were no major problems with her health, and her breasts

were . The doctor, Dr. Wang, said my mother looked like she was in her sixties, but her physical condition

and physiological functions were only in her fifties.



I was relieved to hear that and joked with my mother that she was only about ten years older than me. My mother said I was being glib.

Although everything else was cleared up, I still didn't quite understand why I had intermittent bleeding.

Director Wang said to keep some samples and test results so she could study them more carefully. She said it shouldn't be a big problem, perhaps

due to estrogen.



I expressed my gratitude.



During today's examination, I also learned a secret about my mother: she had been taking a small dose of estrogen

until my father passed away last year.



"Xiao Wu, why don't you have a drink with Mom? Mom is very happy today. Actually, that bleeding has been bothering me for half a year

, and I never knew what to do. Today, I can finally rest easy!" During dinner, my mother actually...

My mother's desire to drink surprised me. I asked the waiter to open a bottle of red wine. Since I was driving, I only

had , while my mother drank about half of it. It seems my mother's alcohol tolerance is not to be underestimated.



"Let's go, son, Mom is so happy today!" My mother seemed very excited. After a pause, she added,

"Son, do you dare take Mom to a dance hall? Mom really wants to go wild today!" My mother used

a language I had never heard before.



"Okay, Mom, let's go sing and dance!"



At the dance hall, my mother and I felt out of place. After all, it was a young person's world, mostly people my daughter

's age, with very few around thirty years old! My mother and I swayed

slowly . My mother, completely absorbed, said, "Twenty years ago, when this first became popular,

your father and I were almost sixty. I told him I wanted to come here, but he initially refused. I wanted to come, but he said

people would say I was indecent! But I wanted to come, and he wouldn't allow it. So I dressed up and

said I'd go by myself, which made him unhappy, but in the end, he came with me. He just held my hand and swayed like this

! Although I felt the strange looks from those around us, I truly understood from your father that

even he was still my precious child!" As she spoke, her eyes slowly filled with tears.



Today, I finally understood why my mother had been so downcast; in just one year, we'd seen her visibly

age !



"Mom, just think of me as your father. I'm here with you to have some fun today!" I said to my mother in the tone my daughter would use to

talk .



"No need, I just came here to soak up the atmosphere and reminisce about the wonderful past your father gave me! He's

almost eighty years old, he doesn't have the energy to go crazy here! Let's go, child!"

When my mother and I came out together, I could clearly sense her low spirits, but she seemed

much sadder than before we went to the disco. I was worried she might be having some kind of mental breakdown.



Back home, we sat down on the sofa in the living room, and looking at my mother's increasingly aged face, I was filled with

mixed emotions.



"Mom, what's wrong with my second brother and sister-in-law? They've spoiled that child rotten. A few days ago,

I saw him playing around with some girls at the school gate, and when he saw me coming, he ran away!"



I chatted with my mother casually. "Mom, I have a question for you. You can answer if you want,

but it's okay if you don't." I really didn't know what to say. I was still wondering if I should ask my mother directly.



"Go ahead, child, what's wrong? Why are you being so hesitant when you talk to me today?"

My mother seemed a little surprised.



"It's like this, I heard that it's not good for older people to take hormones. Have you been taking them?



I was shocked when the doctor told me."



"What's wrong with that? You know, I've lived my whole life for my husband. Your father,

and you all, were the most important men in my life. Now that he's gone, and you all have your own families

, I'm all alone. No one cares about my aging appearance anymore!" My mother didn't directly answer my

question , but I could sense what she wanted to say.



"Mom, we'll definitely come back to see you often! If you need anything,

my brothers and I will do our best!"



"Really? Do you understand the needs of older people?" My mother spoke very softly, and I didn't hear her

clearly .



"What did you say, Mom?"



"Nothing, nothing!" My mother denied softly.



"Mom, that Director Wang said you look like you

're only . She said you're in great shape in every way. I'm so happy for you today. How about I open another bottle of red wine and

we continue our celebration?"



My mother looked at me, her eyes filled with a questioning gaze and a touch of emotion. "Son, my

checkup today was fine, but you seem even happier than I am. I'm so gratified that you're so filial, making me forget

my loneliness!"



"Should I open the red wine? I remember I brought back a lot of Bordeaux wine last time! Where is it?"



I asked my mother.



"It's in the cupboard, go get it. I seem to be in a good mood today.

I hope I can have this kind of good mood on my eightieth birthday. Although I've already had quite a bit to drink today, well, let me have another drink with my

son!"



Seeing the charm and grace of a young woman on my mother's face, I was somewhat captivated. It seems that women,

no matter their age, all have the same girlish sentiments.



I turned on some music, poured some red wine, and said, "Ms. Feng, let me invite you to dance. The

atmosphere at the disco wasn't quite like this!"



"Hmm! Okay, I'll give you, handsome guy, a little face! Haha," my mother laughed, very happy. "

You little rascal , you're quite good at charming women. Even at my age, I'm a little captivated by your charm!"



"Then, Ms. Feng, let's have a toast!" My mother and I clinked glasses and drank it all in one gulp. My mother also downed her wine

. I put on a soothing four-step dance.



"Come on, let's dance gently!" I put my arm around my mother's waist, my hand stroking her

waist . My mother's waist was full, but not bulky. Although there was a little extra flesh, it wasn't sagging. For

her eighty years, it was a very beautiful figure!



"Mom, how much do you weigh?"



"Ha, you little rascal, a woman's weight is a secret!" my mother teased me.



"Beautiful lady, really? People are attracted by your beauty, captivated by your charm, and want to know

more ! Besides, your stunning figure is already the idol of all of us young men!"



"Go away, go away! You're getting more and more absurd! The way you're talking makes it sound like we're having an affair!"



Mother suddenly stopped, covering her mouth with her hand, as if realizing we'd gone

a bit too far. "What's wrong with Mom today? She keeps saying those things, it's not like an eighty-year-

old lady at all!"



"Who says you're an old lady? When we walk together, no one would say you're my sister!"



"You little rascal, you're getting more and more unserious! But even at eighty, I still love your sweet talk. "

"Listen! Shall we have another drink?" My mother looked at me.



"Are you sure you can handle it, Mom?" I



asked, a little worried. "See? You still say Mom's young, but you're more worried about Mom!"



"Okay! Let's drink!"



My mother put down her glass and naturally placed her hands on my shoulders, while I wrapped my arms around her

waist.



"Son, am I so old that I get out of breath with the slightest movement? You little rascal even asked me to dance, you

better hold me tight, or you'll hurt your back!" My mother's face was slightly flushed, I couldn't tell if it was from the alcohol

or shyness. Her words were also a little contradictory.



At this moment, my mother seemed a little tired, so I asked her softly, "Do you want to rest for a while?"



"No need, son, I'm so happy to be able to sway gently to the music in your arms today, let

me enjoy it a little longer." She said, burying her face in my neck and closing her eyes. I felt

her body tremble. I lifted her face and saw tears streaming down my mother's face.



"Mom, what's wrong?" I knew in my heart that something must be on my mother's mind. Perhaps she was too lonely.

Her father had passed away, leaving her all alone in her empty house. Although she had five sons, none of them were by her side. She

must have been very bitter inside.



I couldn't help but kiss her forehead. "Mom, don't be sad. I'll go back in a few days and talk to Limin about

moving back ."



"No, no, you two were doing just fine before. If you go and talk to her, and she doesn't agree, it'll definitely cause a conflict.

It's better this way. You can come back and keep me company when you have time. Besides, how many

security guards ?"



"Okay, as you wish, I'll talk to my brothers and ask them to come back and stay for a few days each month. That way,

I'll always have someone with me!"



"Thank you, my youngest son, for understanding my feelings. Every night… well, it's nothing! Although I

'm getting older, I'm even more afraid of loneliness and solitude. Imagining that my life might not last much longer

, I have a deeper fear of the darkness and cold of the night than you young people. I know everyone

will have this day, but whenever I think about spending those unbearable times alone in the cold night,

my heart chills."



My mother still nestled against my neck, sharing her worries. Every word she spoke made my

heart tremble. My mother may not have financial pressure, and may even have everything she wants. She may be in

good health, but she still has psychological problems. How many children can truly care about the

feelings ? Thinking of this, I made up my mind to explore my mother's inner world and try my best

to comfort my lonely mother.



"Mom, I've been wondering these past few days why you haven't been sleeping at night. Could it be...

that you need to..."



"Don't say that, child. You don't understand how I feel! As I said before, even though it's the height of summer, I always

feel a chill in my body. Every night I'm so lonely I can't fall asleep. I miss your father. When he was alive

, although he didn't do much else, he was there for me, listening to me, reminiscing with me.



If you were my son, I could tell you anything, but actually, it just doesn't feel

right . So you and your brother can never replace your father in comforting me! What I'm saying

..."



The mother blushed for no apparent reason. She hesitated, then, as if having made a decision, continued, "I'm not talking about

anything sexual. I'm eighty years old now,

I don't have any desires in that area anymore. Besides, your father stopped doing it a long time ago. But having him around, talking to him, always gives me

a of security."



"Mom, I'm sorry, I'm an unfilial son."



"You don't know, instead of tossing and turning in bed at night, I'd rather do something. For a

while I...I...I tried masturbation. I bought those toys, I think you saw them! But

it didn't work. I didn't want to do anything like that anymore. Age catches up with me, I can't muster any interest, and that thing feels

so cold inside...One day I accidentally spilled soybeans all over the floor, so I squatted down to

pick them up. By the time I finished, more than two hours had passed. I didn't feel anxious or have

any desires. That's how I found a way to pass the time and get through the loneliness."



Hearing my mother tell me about her feelings and loneliness in my arms, I felt a chill run down my spine.

I felt so sorry for the elderly. They have reached the twilight of their lives, and they don't know when the end of their lives will

come. But society as a whole thinks that the elderly can't have any desires or extravagant hopes. If they do, they're

considered indecent or lazy! But no one sees their living conditions, no one

understands their thoughts. They are human beings too, with their own desires. Thinking of this, I couldn't help but hug my

mother tighter, our bodies pressed tightly together. For the first time, I felt that my mother wasn't just

my mother; she was also a woman! With all the characteristics and needs of a woman!



Perhaps it was the alcohol, or perhaps it was a change in my thoughts, but I found myself hard.



My mother, perhaps absorbed in her own emotions, or perhaps unaware of my change, still held me

tightly around the neck, burying her face in my chest, swaying gently in my arms.



Listening to my mother vent her emotions, feeling her loneliness, I felt a surge of emotion myself, thinking that

I must cherish and protect my mother from now on, treating her not just as a mother, but as

a woman ! I couldn't help but kiss her forehead again, but just then, my mother looked up as if to say

something, and I kissed her lips firmly.



Her words were trapped in her mouth, and I suddenly lost consciousness.



My mother was about to speak, so her mouth was open, and my

mouth was slightly open as I kissed her forehead. Our saliva mingled together.



My mind went blank; I had no idea what I was doing. Images of my classmates from the provincial hospital—

Mingyue I was lost in the moment. I stuck my tongue out

and licked her tongue inside her mouth. I could feel her tongue hesitate for a moment, but then she responded passionately. It stretched out…

She came over and our tongues intertwined.



"Mmm...uh...mmm...oh...oh!"



But we were mother and son after all, and our minds quickly cleared. My mother pushed me away forcefully.



"You brat, you've had too much to drink!" My mother's emotions were clearly affected; the wrinkles around her eyes

deepened, but her smooth face was flushed and radiant. "Go wash up and go to bed."

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