Desires grew wildly like weeds.

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Life is full of firsts, some fleeting like passing clouds, others etched in our memories for a lifetime.
And then there are those you try to forget, but given the chance, they surface vividly in your mind, impossible to shake off.
Ye'er, my wife. I love her beyond measure.
Once, after sex, she nestled in my arms and asked coquettishly, "Tell the truth, did you sleep with your ex-girlfriend?" "Of course not!" She'd asked this question many times; it was true, I'd only held her hand.
"Then, when was your first ejaculation?" At that moment, that embarrassing memory flashed into my mind. I was 13, filled with curiosity about sex. Luckily, we had a barefoot doctor's manual from the Red Era, containing sections on women's physiology and childbirth, complete with illustrations (including sections on azoospermia, oligospermia, ejaculation, and injuries). In those days, this book was considered a marvel; my understanding of female anatomy was entirely thanks to it. This book also got my blood pumping when I was young, and I ejaculated for the first time. Actually, before that, I had masturbated many times while reading this book, but I had never ejaculated, probably because I was physiologically immature. But the time when I was 13 years old is still fresh in my memory. Anyway, everything happened suddenly: my little brother suddenly twitched violently, and a stream of unknown liquid spurted out. It wasn't much, and I couldn't even find much of a trace. But I was stunned at the time, very, very scared. Although I had some knowledge from medical books, I couldn't make any connection at all. The only thing I could confirm was that it didn't look like urine. For the next few days, I lived in complete fear, not knowing what terrible consequences this ejaculation would bring me. Had I damaged it? For a long time afterward, I didn't dare to touch my little brother again. Later, I found that I hadn't changed anything, so I gradually relaxed. That self-pleasure returned, and ejaculation became a regular occurrence. Naturally, I knew—that was ejaculation.
This memory makes me super embarrassed, but I also find it interesting, so I told Ye'er about it. Ye'er chuckled, but then looked suspicious, almost to herself, "So naughty at such a young age, no one would believe you and I were each other's first time." Indeed, if I was so naughty at such a young age, why didn't I find a girlfriend earlier? Looking back, there was only one reason: I was always very shy around the opposite sex back then, and I hardly ever talked to girls. Moreover, although I was so "naughty," I never had any improper thoughts about the girls I liked; liking was just liking, pure and innocent. And Ye'er and I were indeed each other's first time. That year, I was already twenty-three years old; the pleasures of the sexes came a little late for me.
Before twenty-three, I had always been a shy person, burying my feelings deep in my heart.
In elementary school, I had a girl I liked. I liked her very much, and even imagined what our life would be like together when we grew up. But she didn't know my feelings.
In junior high, I had girls I liked, and more than one at that. There was one girl I silently wished well for, willing to share all the good things with her. But she doesn't know how much I like her.After graduating from high school, I was admitted to the art college of a polytechnic university, just as I had hoped. About two or three months after starting school, a girl from a neighboring school suddenly found me. I couldn't even remember that she was the girl from my class in high school. She said that the love letter in the art studio was written to me by her. She thought I would come to her, but when I didn't, she came to find me instead. In her heart, I liked her. Thinking about this, I always feel that love is magical, because even now, I still can't figure out how I entered her heart and how we have so many stories in her heart. To be honest, I was really moved by her at the time. I called Du, and Du joked with me, saying "we'll talk about it later." I cursed Du a few times and hung up. I also asked my roommates for their opinions, and their opinion was "let's date for now."
I must admit that my views on love were so immature at that time. I didn't even think that what I felt for her was love. I regret agreeing to date her back then. If I hadn't agreed, she would definitely be happier now.
After that, we dated like boyfriend and girlfriend. Our schools were very close, and it only took about ten minutes to walk to her dormitory building. During that time, I often visited her because I felt that this was how boyfriends and girlfriends should interact. When I heard she had a cold, I immediately rushed to the pharmacy to buy her cold medicine, again because I felt this was how boyfriends and girlfriends should interact. My behavior was practically the model boyfriend for her roommates. The only time Ling brought me into her dorm was to introduce me to her friends. One of them was a rather voluptuous girl with long, flowing hair and an outgoing personality; she was the only girl I felt any femininity from. I considered myself polite and well-mannered, but perhaps out of a woman's intuition, she told Ling after I left that our relationship wouldn't last. When Ling told me this, I angrily said, "We'll definitely get along well and show her!" But Ling said she didn't want me to be nice to her because of that. After spending some time with Ling, I knew what was missing between us—a lack of attraction between the sexes. Ling was the one who suggested holding hands the first time, but my feelings for her were limited to just holding hands. My buddy Du secretly touched his deskmate's (who was also his girlfriend's) breasts in class during high school. I had absolutely no such impulse towards Ling. Ling wasn't ugly, and she had a good figure, but I never felt anything for her. The atmosphere grew increasingly somber as we walked hand-in-hand on campus, but I didn't know what to say. After winter break, with the first spring rain in the north, we finally broke up. Ling suggested it, saying we should separate for a while. I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, my mood incredibly light. But a lump formed in my throat, and I almost cried. I told her, "Maybe I'll never find a girlfriend again." That's what I truly thought at the time, because I felt I wasn't suited for relationships, and relationships weren't suited for me.
But things quickly changed. After a summer vacation, during the student council's orientation, I met Ye'er. From then on, desire surged like wildfire.

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Desires grew wildly like weeds.

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