Under the California Sun (January 4th)

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

Author: Drunken Flower Shade

(Part 1) Prologue

When a red BMW behind me signaled to overtake, I slowly turned the steering wheel slightly to the right.
The blast of air from the whizzing BMW rushed out of my Cherokee Jeep window. "It's unbearably hot, this damn
weather !" I muttered to myself. The long, straight road from Los Angeles to San Francisco made
me feel frustrated as I drove alone.

I was on my way to my good friend Ye Zhou's wedding. Although his wedding was in a week, I happened to have three weeks
of vacation, so I could leisurely travel there.

He was a good friend who came to the US from mainland China with me, and he was my bunkmate in college.

"When are you going to think about your personal life?" he and his girlfriend Jenny—who would soon be his
bride— often asked me anxiously.

"Don't be like my mom," I said. "You're only thirty!"

"You're the only son in your family! If you don't give birth to a son or daughter, I'm afraid your dad will die with regret!"

"Dad..." I subconsciously pulled my left hand back; there was a thin scar there, yet it stretched long across
my wrist. That was from the sharpest razor I'd used to cut myself...

There won't be any son or daughter, my parents, there won't be, no!

None of my friends, relatives, will ever know who I love.

Suddenly, it was as if a faint fragrance drifted on the wind, almost imperceptible, and the face of a girl with long, flowing hair
gradually appeared, her red lips gently parting to reveal her pearly white teeth...

"Brother...!" Yes... I love... my sister, my dear sister.

When I was three, I was covered in mud, running around with a few neighborhood boys. My dad and some neighbors
were pushing a stroller, with my mom sitting on it, her head wrapped in a scarf, holding my newborn little sister,
Xiaoxue .

By the time Xiaoxue was two, I had an inescapable shadow.

Her arrival diminished my status; my usual tantrums lost their power. A single soft
cry from my sister was enough for my parents to shower her with comfort. As for me, all I could do was roll around on the floor, pounding my chest and stamping my feet, my dramatic performances often
earning me
"Don't hit me, don't hit my brother!" My parents would usually then turn their attention to comforting her, and I would use
my thirty-six stratagems .

My younger sister has very sensitive tear ducts, able to control her tears at will. Within a quarter of a second, a torrential downpour can erupt, the sound echoing far and wide . Before
my threatening fist can even land, I'm

forced to flee, barely clinging to life. No matter where I run, a moment later, my sister will timidly reappear before me, her face still wet with tears
.

I have no choice but to accept my fate.

So Xiaoxue became my shadow, running around with me all day long, even learning to climb trees.

The older boys sometimes make up rhymes to mock her: "Girl climbs a tree, tomorrow she'll be pregnant, the day after tomorrow she'll have a little gourd!"

"Of course I wouldn't stand idly by. A fight was inevitable. Although my sister was charging in from behind, her
lethality the battle was over!

In my childhood in mainland China, the red flag fluttered, political struggles were fierce, and everyone was afraid to talk about national affairs. After meals,
people would bring their own stools to chat, and the topics of conversation were mostly about the timing and location, but they always ended up talking about male-female relationships. We children sometimes
overheard these conversations, and gradually became familiar with words like 'fucking.' In my half-awake state, I vaguely guessed that it meant putting a boy's
penis into a girl's genitals.

My sexual fantasies began to take root.

When I was seven years old, on a hot summer day, one of my daily routines was to swim in the stream.

The stream was so clear, and the pebbles were clearly visible. Lying on the warm..." Looking back,
the memory of swimming in the babbling brook is truly heavenly. My fair-skinned little sister, of course, followed closely behind, along with the neighbor's little sister, Lily.
Both of them were wearing only tiny panties, squatting excitedly playing in the sand.

Their panties were so large that they were practically nonexistent when they squatted, allowing me to
easily see the two fleshy labia between their legs. A pinkish hue, like lips, with a thin slit
dividing them, slightly parting as they moved.

I felt my penis harden as if I needed to urinate.

I crawled closer to them, pretending to be interested in their sand-building game, but actually
carefully observing their two unguarded, tender vulvas. I wondered, what should I do?

"Hey!" I said, "Let's play doctor!"

"Okay, how do we play?" my sister responded first.

"Hmm… I'll be the doctor, and you guys be the patients," I set the rules.

I held up two fingers, pretending to take Lili's pulse. "Hmm...you're sick, you need a shot!" I
grabbed a small stick to pretend it was a needle.

"Take off your pants!" Lili readily pulled them down to her ankles,
revealing a smooth, delicate-skinned little girl in the sunlight. My gaze quickly slid down to the spot the adults were talking about, a place I'd never paid attention to before
—the girl's mons pubis—and hastily injected a "needle" into Lili's buttocks. "I need to do some
more checks, lie down!" My throat was a little dry.

I parted Lili's legs, using my fingers to spread apart the soft, warm flesh, revealing a small, unfamiliar vulva
. I examined it repeatedly, puzzled, wondering where that "dry" place came from.

Because I'd been "studying" for too long, my younger sister, who had been waiting impatiently, said, "My turn!"

So I announced that the examination results were normal.

Everything proceeded according to the "medical" procedure.

My sister's vulva was exactly the same as Lili's, except the clitoris between her labia was a bit redder.
I leaned closer and smelled it; there was a faint odor of urine.

As my sister bent over to put on her ill-fitting underwear, her long, black hair slipped down her shoulders in the sunlight,
the dappled sunlight stinging my eyes.

The setting sun cast two bright spots on the Jeep's windshield, flickering with the car's movement. I felt
a slight itch on the wound on my left hand. Suddenly, I felt the rear of a car in front of me getting closer and closer. Screech to
the brakes! Swerve left! My Jeep stopped 30 meters past the parked car. Damn it! This is on the highway!!

I looked back, still shaken. It was an old Ford, its age unknown, billowing smoke
from the hood—wait! There was that girl standing helplessly beside the wrecked car…

(II)

As I hurried toward her, she angrily kicked the rickety crash bar, then
tossed her hair and turned around.

“Hey! Can you fix cars, big guy?” she yelled at me. I frowned.

After pushing the battered car to the side of the road, I asked her to get in and start the engine while I inspected it.

Closing the hood, I met her questioning gaze. “Uh…it’s total!” I announced.

She made an exaggerated gesture.

I stared at her silently. A pair of worn-out high-top leather shoes concealed her pale legs, her thighs were boldly exposed beneath her
super-short leather skirt, and a red coat was tied around her waist. What seemed out of place between her ample bosom beneath her short-sleeved t-shirt
and... her face looked so childish!

I guessed she couldn't be more than 16. This little girl driving a beat-up car, all alone on this highway
... it was truly baffling.

Her deep brown eyes caught my shifty gaze, and she tossed
her long hair , striking a slightly awkward, provocative pose. "Hey! Japanese, maybe we can travel together?"

"I'd be happy to give you a ride, but..." I said helplessly, "I'm not some damn Japanese, I'm
Chinese!" After we got on the road, she reached out and turned the stereo up really loud. Pu Shu's melancholic, Russian-
style "Birch Forest" immediately filled the car:

A quiet village, blanketed in white snow, /

Under a gloomy sky, pigeons fly. / On

the birch trees, two names are etched; /

They vowed to love each other for life. /

One day, war reached their homeland;

/ The young man took up arms and went to the frontier.

/ My beloved, don't worry about me; /

Wait for me to return to that birch forest. /

The sky remains gloomy; / Pigeons still fly.

/ Who will bear witness to those loves and lives without tombstones?

/ The snow continues to fall; the village remains peaceful

. / The young people vanished in the birch forest.

The devastating news arrived that afternoon.

Her beloved had died on a distant battlefield.

She silently came to the birch forest

, waiting there every day, her eyes filled with longing

. She said he was just lost in the distance,

that he would definitely come to this birch forest.

The long road was nearing its end.

The girl's hair was now white.

She often heard him calling her from her pillow

, "Come, my love, come to this birch forest."

As she died, she murmured,

"I'm coming, wait for me in that birch forest."

This is one of the Mandarin CDs my friend in mainland China sent me; this foreign girl couldn't understand it.

She simply pulled out a Walkman and started swaying on the seat.

Birch forests mostly grow in the north; the places we often played in as children were mostly pine and bamboo forests.

At that time, my parents were "revolutionized" and sent to remote areas, only able to return home for a day or two each month. Only
my grandmother took care of my brother and me. The three small brick houses were shared: Grandma lived in one room, my parents in another, and my younger sister Xiaoxue and I shared
the third.

"Brother, don't forget me when you go fishing at Mirror Lake tomorrow!" My sister poked her head out from the top bunk, her long, unbraided
hair dangling.

I put my hands behind my head and stared at her coldly.

"Oh! Still angry?" Xiaoxue blinked her large, long-lashed eyes a few times, and I simply turned my head
away . This afternoon, I argued with the teacher and was punished by standing at attention on the playground until school was over. During dinner, I had a few words with Xiaoxue,
and well, this traitor betrayed me! My father, who came from a humble background, immediately made me put down my chopsticks and stand at attention in the corner.
I glared at her resentfully. Xiaoxue stopped, lowered her head, and a tear fell onto the table.

As a result, neither Xiaoxue nor I ate dinner.

The flickering candlelight filled the small room. Xiaoxue climbed down and sat on the edge of my bed, shaking my
arm, saying, "Brother... I... I didn't mean to! I didn't eat either..." I
remained unmoved .

Xiaoxue muttered to herself, "Looks like I'll be the only one eating this steamed bun!" She lowered her head and looked down
at me. I closed my eyes, but my stomach, which was being difficult, started rumbling. The tips of her long hair brushed against my face, tickling
me. Suddenly, my mischievous sister pressed the steamed bun to my mouth, making it hard for me to breathe, but she
giggled .

I sat up and glared at her. Xiaoxue let out a soft moan and fell into my arms.

Her head rested on my lap, her long black hair cascading down, shimmering like silk, as she
looked at me with delight.

I gently pinched her cheek, and that was it. What else could I do?

We lay down together, divided the steamed bun in two, and slowly ate it.

My twelve-year-old sister, already quite tall, with a shapely figure and warm to the touch, her
skin smooth and tender beneath her thin bra. I held her waist, pressed against her back, quietly watching the soft black hair behind her ears sway with my
breath . Even in the dim candlelight, I could clearly see Xiaoxue's ears gradually turning red.

It was quiet all around; my father's snoring from next door was starting, and my palms began to sweat.

I remembered the games we played by the river as children, my sister's dazzling white skin in the sunlight, her once flat
chest now subtly developing. That game hadn't been played for years; only a faint
memory remained of her girlish body. Suddenly, the sweet fragrance of my sister in my arms made my heart race, my mouth dry, and my lower body quietly harden.

My hand clumsily placed on Xiaoxue's chest, hesitantly and gently beginning to caress it, feeling the firmness within the softness.
It deeply moved me. I felt as if my hand was gently tracing a clear stream, soft and supple. When I
parted my fingers, a tiny bud emerged from between them.

My younger sister, Xiaoxue, remained silent, letting me take liberties with her. I didn't know how to continue. Revolutionary times, revolutionary
education—but no one taught me how to revolutionize women. I wanted to reach down, but ultimately stopped at my sister
's waist.

When the candle finally burned out, I was still flushed and wide awake.

The next day, Xiaoxue avoided my gaze, her red face still making my heart race.

I firmly believed that from that day on, Xiaoxue was no longer just a younger sister in my heart.

"Hey, do you have water in your car?" the foreign girl suddenly shouted at me. "I forgot my water!" I reached for
the stereo to turn off. "No, there's a gas station not far ahead."

Coming out of the gas station, she bit into a piece of bread with some difficulty, occasionally taking a sip of water. "You've run away from home, haven't you
, kid!" I deliberately emphasized the word "kid." She made a face at me and ignored me.

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Under the California Sun (January 4th)

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