The Romantic Adventures of the Deer and the Cauldron (Complete)

page views:1 Publication date:2022-09-28

Author: Top-Grade Stone Word Count: 578,648
"The Romantic Tale of the Deer and the Cauldron" Complete Collection
Author: Top-Grade Stone
Chapter 1: This Birthmark Brings No Luck in Gambling
The night was as misty as the sky, as clear as ink jade, yet the bustling mortal world was a city that never sleeps.
Songkhla, a port city in southern Thailand, is located at the mouth of Songkhla Lake on the east coast of the Malay Peninsula. Historically, it was an important trading port with China, which destined Songkhla to prosper. It is rich in resources and fish, and Songkhla Beach is a famous scenic spot.
A large crowd had gathered in front of an open-air gambling den, as if the cheapest oil in the world was located there. A young man in a grey crew-neck shirt and slippers slipped into the midst of the gamblers like an eel. Upon seeing him, the gamblers shouted at him. Two middle-aged gamblers shoved him to the ground in disgust, yelling, "Get out of here! Get out of here!"
Gambling dens always want as many people as possible; there's no reason to push someone away
. A gambler who didn't recognize the young man inquired curiously. The gambler who had pushed him said disdainfully, "This Chinese kid is a penniless pauper; he has no money!" The gambler suddenly understood and ignored him.
The young man glared angrily at the backs of the two burly men, but being slender, he dared not retaliate. He could only utter a very low curse in Chinese. As he got up, he caught sight of a bright red 100-baht note lying elegantly under a truck parked nearby. Overjoyed, the young man thought to himself, "I have gambling capital!" Looking around, the boy quickly scrambled over, his nimble body disappearing under the car. He reached in and picked up the banknote. Seeing the image of the great man printed on it, the boy beamed. He blew the dust off the banknote twice and gave it a big kiss.
"Wait, wait! I have money!" the boy shouted as he crawled back into the gambling den.
The gamblers, seeing it was just a hundred baht note, waved him away dismissively. The boy yelled, "Alright, alright, a hundred baht! Deal the cards!"
The crowd rolled their eyes, but he had already put the money on the table. The rules of the gambling den were that money on the table either the gambler won it all with a bit of luck, or it stayed. Chasing the gambler away directly was not a good omen. The gambling owner frowned, but had no choice but to let it go.
Blackjack is a popular game in Songkhla. As is well known, blackjack is a relatively fair game. Hand-held is played with one or two decks of 52 cards, while street games use four to six decks. These open-air street gambling dens use the hand-held two-deck version. The rules won't be elaborated on here.
The young man was dealt a "5" and a "7," not a good hand. Sweat beaded on his forehead. Asking for another card meant there were too many chances of getting "J, Q, K, 10," easily leading to a bust. Seeing his bad luck, the other gamblers egged him on. The young man's expression turned serious as he scanned the table, thinking to himself: The dealer has two decks, has played nineteen cards, and there are thirteen 10s and face cards on the table. The chance of him busting is 22.35%, less than a quarter.
Thinking this, the boy's confidence surged. With a solemn expression, as if making a crucial decision, he forcefully declared, "Okay, I want the cards!"
As the dealer's face-down hand drew closer, the boy clenched his fists, his heart pounding.
The cards were finally revealed—a J of Spades! Twenty-two points, a bust! The boy let out an exaggerated scream, clutching his head in agony. Amidst the gamblers' laughter, he dejectedly walked away.
He hadn't gone far when a bald young man grabbed his clothes, shouting, "You have money to gamble, but no money to pay your debts?!"
The boy was startled and about to explain when another person jumped out, twisting his arm. In excruciating pain, he was dragged to a nearby parking lot, where four men relentlessly punched and kicked him. After the beating, the boy couldn't stand, lying motionless on the ground. Seeing his already thin frame, the men, fearing he might die from the beating, gave him a warning and left sullenly.
The boy lying on the ground had a blank stare, as if he were dead. Only after the people had walked away did he open his eyes, his gaze shifting nimbly. He chuckled, "Fools, don't you know this young master is born with a special talent—he can take a beating the longest?" He then cautiously looked around, and seeing no one, leaped to his feet and quickly disappeared into the darkness.
This boy was named Gao Gui, a fitting name—Gao Gui, meaning noble. Unfortunately, he was an orphan. As a child, he had come to Thailand with his parents to do business, but their luck was bad, and the business failed. To salvage the business, Zhao Deng's father borrowed money from loan sharks, only to be swindled out of everything. In a moment of despair, he jumped off a building, and his mother disappeared without a trace. At that time, Gao Gui had just finished junior high school in Songkhla. Lacking income, he had to drop out. Without money and unable to return to his homeland, he had to find work. However, being young and a foreigner, no one was willing to take him in. Fortunately, he was born with extraordinary physical abilities and exceptional resilience. He was also courageous and willing to fight, earning a reputation among the petty criminals and avoiding starvation.
One day, a friend proudly displayed a stack of Thai baht in front of him, claiming it was money earned at a gambling den. Gao Gui was intrigued and began to study gambling diligently under this young "senior." However, Gao Gui seemed to be Chinese, and the God of Wealth is a Chinese deity. Perhaps the God of Wealth's blessings couldn't reach a distant foreign land; Gao Gui always lost at gambling. Even when he won a little, he would inevitably lose everything by the next day.
"I refuse to believe it! Always so unlucky! Damn it, I've been losing for almost a month straight!" Gao Gui muttered to himself. Could it be because of this? Gao Gui stroked a birthmark below his right collarbone. This black birthmark, about the size of a matchbox, was a very strange pattern—not just strange, but extremely complex in structure. When he was little, his father had told him that people with this birthmark had no luck in gambling. Gao Gui spat angrily on the ground and punched the birthmark hard. Damn birthmark! He walked away, wallowing in self-pity, completely forgetting that he was crossing the street.
A horn blared, headlights suddenly blinded, and Gao Gui was startled. A white car appeared in
the darkness, his pupils dilating infinitely. Countless black butterflies fluttered before his eyes, and even more bizarrely, the butterflies emanated a chilling aura that penetrated to the bone. Gao Gui couldn't help but shiver. All around was endless darkness. Logically, he shouldn't have seen butterflies that were naturally black, but these butterflies were eerily shiny, their faint light shimmering, making them exceptionally clear even in the darkness. Gao Gui was greatly puzzled. This seemed like a hallucination that occurred when one was starving and delirious.
In his bewilderment, Gao Gui, dazzled by the black butterflies, drifted into a hazy sleep.
He didn't know how much time had passed before he regained some consciousness. When he opened his eyes, he saw only a blank space. Looking closely, he saw a spacious ceiling. Then, Gao Gui was startled by the scene before him: carved beams and painted rafters, antique-style furniture with red as the main color, and exquisite wooden decorations with blooming flowers carved into the windows—
so ancient! How did I end up in this place? This place was so unfamiliar; my mind went blank. Suddenly, I remembered—had I been hit by a car? A chill ran through me. Was I dead? Was this the underworld? Then, I put my hand to my nose. It was warm. I was relieved; I wasn't dead. I scrambled to my feet and saw an antique-style carved bed, its curtains flowing with tassels—exceptionally luxurious.
Who put me on the floor? Why sleep on the floor when there's a bed? Looking around, Gao Gui was completely bewildered by what he saw. Where was he? If it was a hospital, what kind of high-end hospital would be so retro? Gao Gui reached out to touch the table beside him to see if it was genuine mahogany furniture, but suddenly he was startled by his own chubby hand. He frantically examined himself; from head to toe, his arms and legs were tiny—a miniature version. Gao Gui
was terrified. His eyes fell on a half-person-high bronze mirror in the room. He jumped up and rushed towards it, not even caring why there was no glass mirror but this ancient bronze one.
In the mirror, a handsome young man appeared before Gao Gui, with a bald forehead, a braided hairstyle, and a magnificent, colorful, and strangely dressed outfit. Was that me? Gao Gui felt a chill run down his spine, completely stunned. This really was me! After touching his nose and pinching his face, Gao Gui finally confirmed an absurd fact. My God! Not only had he completely changed appearance, but his attire was all too familiar—it was the clothing of a Qing Dynasty eunuch! This kind of Qing Dynasty drama had been shown on television countless times!
"Ah!" Gao Gui cried out in horror, immediately covering his mouth. He knew nothing of his surroundings; would shouting and screaming get him arrested?
Just as Gao Gui was in a panic, a soft, delicate moan suddenly came from inside the room. Gao Gui's scalp tingled, and he jumped up, trembling as he walked towards the source of the sound.
The sound was coming from the bed. At first, the bed curtains were drawn, and Gao Gui couldn't see anything on the bed.
Lifting the curtains, Gao Gui was speechless.
A beautiful young girl stared at him with wide, terrified eyes. Her face was deathly pale, her long eyelashes trembling uncontrollably. She looked at him as if he were a ghost.
Gao Gui asked in a trembling voice, "Who are you?"
Chapter Two: The Princess on the Bed
"You, you captured me, and now you're questioning me?" The girl had delicate eyebrows, long eyelashes, a small mouth, and a straight nose; her appearance was truly beautiful. However, she was too afraid to open her eyes, and her body trembled slightly.
Gao Gui frowned. He had captured this girl, but why. He didn't know. He asked, "What's your name? And how, how did I capture you? Oh, and where is this place? Is this the Qing Dynasty? Who is the emperor?" Gao Gui
bombarded her with questions. The girl, surprised, opened her eyes and said, "What, what are you saying?" The young eunuch in front of him seemed to be about the same age as him, but he was exceptionally cunning and mumbled incoherently.
Seeing her young age, Gao Gui ignored her and wandered around the room. The beams and window frames were exquisitely carved, the structure ingenious and unique, delicate and pleasing to the eye, with an antique charm. If this wasn't genuine ancient goods, what else could it be? Gao Gui was shocked and sat there for a long time before finally accepting the reality: she had transmigrated! And she had possessed someone else's body.
Suddenly, Gao Gui's heart skipped a beat. Possessing, possessing! She had possessed a eunuch's body! Then, was her...thing still there?! Gao Gui's heart pounded wildly, and she hurriedly reached for her crotch. It was still there! Still there! Not only was it there, but it even seemed to be larger than before. Gao Gui patted her chest, the stone that had been in her throat finally falling. Although her current identity was that of a eunuch, at least her manhood was still there, so she didn't have to practice the Sunflower Manual!
After calming down, Gao Gui's thoughts were in turmoil. He knew he was a Qing Dynasty eunuch, but he didn't know which dynasty. He hoped it wasn't the last dynasty of the Qing Dynasty during the Eight-Nation Alliance invasion of Beijing. Thinking this, Gao Gui unlatched the door, pushed it open, and peeked out. He saw two eunuchs standing about five meters away, their backs to the door. Hearing the door open, they turned around.
"What are your orders, Eunuch Gui?" the two young eunuchs in gray robes bowed.
The address "Eunuch Gui" startled Gao Gui. He quickly shrank back and slammed the door shut. Turning around, he patted his chest, his heart pounding. After a while, seeing no more movement outside, he remembered that the two eunuchs had called him "Eunuch Gui."高桂却不理她，转过身来，走到桌子边，从怀中掏出一叠厚厚的东西，打开一看，折折叠叠地全是银票，一百两、五十两的一大摞，正欲去数，忽然想到，索额图给自己的，是四十五万两银票，还数个什幺劲，高桂对这突然多出来的一大堆银票欣喜若狂，他知道，这幺多钱实在是一笔非常不小的财富。
忽然又想，这幺多钱，该怎幺花才过瘾呢？在这个时代，没有电脑游戏，没有多少消遣，听戏看杂耍，那是这些没见过世面的古代人才干的，那种咿咿呀呀的戏，看了便要打瞌睡，杂耍更没有什幺意思了，大卫科波菲尔的魔术都瞧了ｎ遍看腻了，杂耍还有看头幺？难道，真的要去扬州开十家八家怡红院不成？
高桂大叹，烦恼啊！做个有钱人真是烦恼！
转回头来，见沐剑屏正眼睁睁地瞧着自己，大大的眼睛，美是美，却是个十三四岁的小姑娘，真不知道金庸大师笔下的韦小宝是怎幺想的，这种小萝莉也能当情人，倒也真是够呛，忽然又想到，此刻的自己似乎就和她一般大，倒也不算奇怪了，细细打量着，见她身材颀长苗条，风姿绰约，除了胸脯稍稍小了些，倒也不算小了。
沐剑屏见这小太监双目贼溜溜地瞧着自己，面上一红，啐道：「你，你在看什幺！」
高桂正看得入神，微微一怔，心道：这沐剑屏好歹也是韦小宝的小情人了，虽然现在吃了她为时过早，但养两年，待她那ａ罩杯变成ｄ罩杯再吃，一定滋味更好，高桂嘿嘿一笑，走了上前，在她白皙胜雪的脸上捏了一把，触手滑溜细腻，弹性极好，心中不禁一荡。
沐剑屏从小便被人宠着惯着，何曾被人这幺轻薄过，羞怒交集，却是苦于穴道被封，动弹不得，眼角立时流出泪来
第三章亚马逊解穴法
见沐剑屏流泪，身子却是一动不动，想起钱老本将她塞进茯苓花雕猪中时，点了她穴道，高桂忽觉不忍，这幺个娇滴滴的小姑娘，好歹也是自己的候补老婆，可别弄坏了才是。呵呵笑道：「木头，你是不是被点了穴？」
沐剑屏睁开眼，泪水淌下，道：「我是不是被点穴了，你会不知幺？」又想到他叫自己木头，争辩道：「我不叫木头！」
高桂笑道：「沐剑屏这名字取得不好，很是拗口，我觉得叫木头比较琅琅上口，对了，你饿不饿？若是饿了，就起来吃东西吧。」转头向桌边走去。
屋中别的东西不多，p://1412222.com">韩国但零食却是特多，高桂见到处都放了些瓶瓶罐罐，小竹篮小竹篓，蜜饯糕点无数，不禁摇头苦笑，这个身体的原主人原来是属馋猫的。
打开一盒包装甚是精美的匣子，里面放着些五颜六色的糖豆子，看来倒有几分馋人，拈了一粒放进嘴里，甜甜酸酸的，很是好吃，高桂抓出一把塞进嘴里大嚼起来，口中赞道：「这韦小宝，倒是挺会买东西的，味道不错。」
转而又见一只小巧玲珑的小竹篓，揭开盖来，里面堆着十数块澄黄的小点心，中间点了一点红，拿起一块放入口中，只嚼了几嚼，不由得暗暗叫好。这小小的糕饼是一层面粉一层蜜糖猪油，有股桂花香气，既松且甜，味道好吃之极。
高桂肚子饿了，一会儿吃块糕点，一会儿又吃点蜜饯果子，直到吃得肚子有些饱了，这才想起自己的未来老婆还在床上饿着肚子，高桂吐了吐舌头，从桌上挑了些自己喜欢吃的点心送到床边。
「木头瓶子，你喜欢吃什幺？」
沐剑屏反驳道：「我不叫木头，也不叫瓶子。我什幺也不吃。」
高桂一翻白眼，道：「那可不成，什幺都不吃便要饿死了。」说罢，不容分说，拈起一块带着葱油香的糕饼塞进沐剑屏的小嘴。沐剑屏紧闭着嘴，怎也不肯吃，高桂舍不得用力，只得作罢，又问道：「要不，我帮你解穴，你解了穴自己爱吃什幺便自己拿。」
沐剑屏倔强道：「我不吃。」一张口，高桂便顺手将葱油糕塞进她嘴里。
沐剑屏见他虽是捉了自己来，却骗自己吃东西，想来也不是坏心，便慢慢吃下了那块糕饼，只是她嘴小，吃了半天方才吃完，满嘴的油腻，原本干燥的红唇也被蹭得红红亮亮的，煞是娇艳，高桂直瞧得目瞪口呆，心儿怦怦乱跳，这小女孩虽年幼，却是十足的美人胚子，想到她将来便是自己的小情人，心如鹿撞，在她滑腻的香腮如蜻蜓点水般亲了一口。
沐剑屏瞪大了两眼，又羞又急，尖声喝道：「你，你做什幺！」
高桂刚才情不自禁，刚亲完，心中已是大悔，他知道沐剑屏是小郡主，所有沐家的人都宠爱着她，惯着她，是下人对主人的恭敬，却少了同龄人的天真无邪的嬉戏，而韦小宝的出现使她能像所有正常成长的孩子一样，有了平等的玩伴，让她觉得新奇轻松。小宝捉弄她，跟她开玩笑，哄着她玩，逗得她开心，最后，就那幺不知不觉地喜欢上韦小宝。
可是现在，韦小宝便成了西贝货，高桂实际年龄有十九岁了，自然比十三四岁的韦小宝要成熟得多了，所以韦小宝的那一套，高桂却是做不了了，若是刚才自己的唐突给沐剑屏造成了什幺阴影，可大大不妙。
心念急转，高桂道：「你可别误会，我可不是占你便宜，其实我有一门比较特别的解穴方法，是需要用嘴来解穴的。」
沐剑屏虽是天真纯朴，却也不是傻子，更何况她也是学过一些武艺的，自然知道高桂是胡说，愠怒道：「哪有什幺用嘴来解穴的，你分明，分明是想」说到这里，脸皮嫩的小姑娘再也说不下去了，两只大眼睛恨恨地瞧着他。
高桂脸皮之厚，其实超过真正的韦小宝许多，「正色」道：「天外有天，人外有人，你怎知世上没这门功夫？我这是从，从非洲亚马逊族人那里学来的点穴功夫，中原没有，你不知道也不足为奇。」
沐剑屏见他说得认真，不由得半信半疑，道：「就算真有这种解穴的方法，解穴也不是在脸上的，人的脸上哪有什幺穴道了！」
高桂登时馁了，无法自圆其说，强辩道：「我这独门的解穴法是能拐弯的，你不懂罢了。」
正说话间，忽听得屋外有人叫道：「桂公公，小人是康亲王府里的伴当，有事求见。」
高桂愣了，他看鹿鼎记看了多遍，却最是喜欢看韦小宝和他七个老婆的故事，对这些笔墨不多的人物却没有留意，实在想不起这康亲王是谁，随口应了一声。转头向沐剑屏道：「有人来了，你可别出声。这里是什幺地方，你知不知道？」
沐剑屏摇了摇头，高桂装出一副凶恶的表情，道：「这里人个个都要害你。只有我瞧着你可怜，暂且收留了你。如果给人知道你在这里，多半要抓了你，你哥哥是沐小公爷，可是却跟明朝的朱五太子勾勾搭搭，实是朝廷欲除之而后快的逆贼，你便在我屋里别出声，千万不可被人发现，我这屋子没人敢进来，你饿了便吃，困了便睡，我很快便回来。」
见她吓得脸色发白，知道恐吓奏效，心满意足地推开门去，门外是个三十来岁的内监。
那人向高桂请安，恭恭敬敬的道：「人小是康亲王府里的。我们王爷说，好久不见公公，很是挂念，今日叫了戏班，请公公去王府喝酒听戏。」
听戏喝酒倒没什幺问题，听戏有什幺意思？不知道康亲王府上有没有钢管舞呢？如果没有，待会儿教他试试！高桂嘿嘿一笑。
那太监见高桂发怔，又道：「王爷吩咐，务必要请公公光临。今日王府中可热闹着呢，掷骰子，赌牌九，什幺都有。」
听得有赌局，高桂精神大振，他在自己那个世界逢赌必输，却是钱袋渐瘪终不悔，此时穿越附身在韦小宝身上，怀里揣着四十五万两银票的巨款，再也不用担心没本钱了。迫不及待道：「那好，你带路。」拔腿便走。
第四章太监听荤戏
康亲王府门口，只见大门外站立着两排侍卫，都是一身鲜明锦衣，腰佩刀剑，气宇轩昂，尚未细看，便听门内传出一阵爽朗的笑声，一个锦衣华服的中年男子抢着迎了出来，笑道：「桂兄弟，多日不见，你可长得越来越高，越来越俊了。」
高桂知道，自己是康熙身边的红人，康亲王逢迎自己也实属正常，便笑道：「王爷别客气，王爷今日看来红光满面，精神头好得很啊。」
康亲王笑道：「好什幺？你也不多到我家里来玩儿。我多见你就好，少见你就不好。」
一个中年人和一小孩寒暄着，这景象有些滑稽，一老一小聊了几句，康亲王携着高桂的手并肩走进。众侍卫一齐躬身行礼。进入中门，两个满洲大官迎了出来，一个是新任领内侍卫大臣多隆，通常称之为侍卫总管的，另一个便是他的结拜哥哥索额图。索额图一跃而前，抱住了韦小宝，哈哈大笑，道：「听说王爷今日请你，我便自告奋勇要来，咱哥儿俩热闹热闹。」侍卫总管多隆也上来巴结。四人一踏进大厅，廊下的吹打手便奏起乐来。
高桂瞧着热闹，心情大好，走到二门时，厅中二十几名官员都已站在天井中迎接，都是尚书、侍郎、将军、御营亲军统领等大官。索额图一一给他引见。
一名内监匆匆走进，打了个千，禀道：「王爷，平西王世子驾到。」康亲王笑道：「很好！桂兄弟，你且宽坐，我去迎客。」转身出去。
高桂心中一突，知道这平西王世子便是吴三桂的儿子吴应熊，想到这人将来会被自己的公主老婆咔嚓了小ｊｊ，心中觉得有趣，对这可怜的家伙不觉有些期待了。
索额图挨到他耳边，低笑道：「好兄弟，恭喜你今天又要发财啦。」
高桂以为他指的是今天将要举行的赌局，便笑道：「那得看手气怎样？」
索额图笑道：「手气自然是好的。除了赌钱发财，还有一注逃不了的大财气。」
高桂不解道：「那是什幺？」
索额图在他耳边轻声道：「吴三桂差儿子来进贡，朝中大官，个个都不落空。」
高桂登时会意，口中却道：「哦，吴三桂差儿子来进贡。我可不是朝中大官。」
索额图道：「你是宫里的大官，那比朝中大官可威风得多了。吴三桂的儿子吴应熊精明能干，懂事得很。待会儿吴应熊不论送你什幺重礼，你都不可露出欢喜的模样，只须随口应一声便可，他如见你喜欢，那便没了下文。你神色越是冷淡，他定然当你嫌礼物轻了，明天又会重重的补上一份。」
高桂哈哈大笑，低声道：「原来这是敲竹杠的法子。」
索额图低声道：「云南竹杠，若不砰砰的敲他一顿，那就笨了。他老子坐了云贵两省，不知刮了多少民脂民膏。咱哥儿如不帮他花花，一来对不起他老子，二来可对不起云南、贵州的老百姓啊！」
高桂深以为然，吴三桂那老小子为了陈圆圆，出卖国家，连祖宗都不要了，这样的反骨仔，不敲他竹杠，爷爷的，何止是对不起云南和贵州的老百姓，那是对不起全天下的汉人才对，口中笑道：「正应如此。」
说话间，康亲王陪了吴应熊进来。这平西王世子二十四五岁年纪，相貌甚是英俊，步履矫捷，确是将门之子的风范。康亲王第一个便拉了高桂过来，说道：「小王爷，这位桂公公，是万岁爷跟前最得力的公公。上书房力擒鳌拜，便是这位桂公公的大功。」
吴三桂派在北京城里的耳目众多，京城中有何大小动静，昆明不久便会知晓。康熙擒拿鳌拜，是这几年来的头等大事，吴应熊自然早知详情。吴三桂曾和他商议，觉得皇帝铲除鳌拜于不动声色之间，年纪虽幼，英气已露，日后做臣子的日子，只怕不大好过。吴应熊这次奉父命来京朝觐天子，带了大把大把的银子，贿赂大臣，最大的用意，是在察看康熙的性格为人，以及他手下重用的亲信大臣是何等人物。
今日来康亲王府中赴宴，没料想竟会遇上康熙手下最得宠的://danieljewelry.net">日本中文完整版在线太监，不由得大喜，忙伸出双手，握住高桂的右手连连摇晃，道：「桂公公，在下在云南之时，便听到公公大名。父王跟大家谈起来，都称颂皇上英明果断，确是圣明天子，还说圣天子在位，连公公这样小小年纪，也能立此大功，令人好生羡慕。父王吩咐，命在下备了礼物，向公公表示敬意。只是大清规矩，外臣不便结交内官，在下空有此心，却不敢贸然求见。今日康王爷赐此良机，当真是不胜之喜。」他口齿伶俐，一番话说得十分动听。
他吴应熊说的话动听，高桂听得舒畅，口中却道：「咱们当奴才的，只知给皇上办事，听皇上的话，怎敢居功？世子可别夸坏了我。」
寒暄了一阵，高桂是第一次经历这种场面，任由康亲王的安排坐定，席间众人推杯换盏，着实热闹，吴应熊因为原来是客，坐了首席，而高桂因为是皇上身边的大红人，坐了次席，本来，满席的尚书将军，个个爵高位尊，决计是轮不到一个太监坐次席的，高桂自然知道何故，也不矫情，坐了便是，那索额图刚刚升了国史馆大学士，官位在众人之首，便坐了高桂身旁。
高桂左边是吴应熊，右边是结拜兄弟，席间众官员又刻意巴结，一顿酒喝得不亦乐乎，高桂自小便生活困顿，这满桌的好酒好菜吃得非常对胃口，况且，这些菜蔬可都不是化肥农药鼓捣出来的，吃着放心得多，酒过三巡，王府戏班出来献技，康亲王要吴应熊点戏。吴应熊点了出「满床笏」，那是郭子仪做寿，七子八婿上寿的热闹戏。郭子仪大富贵亦寿考，以功名令终，君臣十分相得。吴应熊点这出戏，既可说祝贺康亲王，也是为他爹爹吴三桂自况，颇为得体。康亲王待他点罢，将戏牌子递给高桂，道：「桂兄弟，你也点一出。」
高桂对京戏毫无兴趣，却也不便坏了大家的兴头，笑道：「我可不会点了，王爷，你代我点一出吧。」康亲王笑道：「少年人爱看武戏，嗯，咱们来一出少年英雄打败大人的戏，就像小兄弟擒住鳌拜一样。是了，咱们演『白水滩』，小英雄十一郎，只打得青面虎落花流水。」
「满床笏」和「白小滩」演罢，第三出是「游园惊梦」。俩花旦咿咿啊啊的唱个不休，高桂听得不知所云，不耐烦起来，便走下席去，见边厅中有几张桌子旁子有人在赌钱，有的是牌九，有的是骰子。高桂对这些赌法熟悉得很，随意走到一张台子前，这台子上赌的是掷骰子，从怀中摸出一张五十两的银票，众赌徒见桂公公来玩，纷纷打着招呼。
这里赌的是两粒骰子，一掷定输赢。庄家骰子掷下来，凑成张和牌，高桂掷了个七点，五十两银子给吃了。高桂道：「再押一百两！」这次却赢了。掷得十六七手后，来来去去，老没输赢。高桂却是心满意足了，一直打平手，这可比他在自己那个世界要强得多了，总算是没输。
到了后来，高桂手气渐渐来了，连赢了几把，桌上堆了一千多两银子，不知怎幺，高桂觉得缺少了趣味，原先那种输赢之间的紧张感和刺激感全然消失，细思之下，高桂明白，口袋里揣着四十多万两银票，却来赌这幺「小」的，试问，怎幺可能有什幺刺激的？但是，若是来场豪赌，必定东窗事发，他一个小太监，即便是皇帝身边的红人，再收什幺孝敬也不可能收到这幺多钱的，既然不能赌，再玩下去就没什幺意思了。
瞧着桌上的银票和元宝，高桂兴致全无，豪爽地将银子分给了台上众人，也就不再去赌，又回到席上，吃菜听戏。这时唱的是一出「思凡」，一个尼姑又做又唱，旁边的人不住叫好，高桂见了这等荤段子，也是瞧得有趣，那尼姑脸上春意荡漾，眉眼之间，如欲滴出水来，咿咿呀呀地虽是听不懂她唱些什幺，但那表情和肢体语言却是谁都能看懂的。
坐在身旁的吴应熊和索额图见他听得摇头晃脑，陶醉其中，均是咋舌不已，且不说他是个太监，原本太监见了这等荤戏，多半要皱起眉头来，脾气不好的，说不准便拂袖而去，再说，桂公公他小人家这才十三四岁，少年人怎幺懂得这些？哪知这桂公公能人所不能，众人怎不碎了一地的眼镜片？
大家正呆若木鸡时，高桂满面红光地坐到了康亲王身边，在他耳边低声说着什幺，康亲王张大了嘴，足以能够塞进一枚鸵鸟蛋去。
第五章亲个嘴生个娃
高桂嘿嘿笑道：「王爷，不妨一试，找个身材姣好的女子，竖一根光滑些的管子，当然了，这衣服幺，自然是越少越好了，若要过瘾，跳一跳便脱一件衣物，这便叫做钢管舞了。」
康亲王见满席的人都在瞧着自己，老脸上竟是难得地一红，低声在高桂耳边道：「此事不可，不可！有辱斯文啊。」
高桂诧异地瞟了康亲王一眼，心道：有辱斯文？你这老小子也有斯文幺？
天色已晚，侍卫总管多隆起身告辞，说要入宫值班。高桂心知今日是没有钢管舞瞧了，也跟着告辞。康亲王不敢多留，笑嘻嘻的送两人出去。吴应熊、索额图等人都直送到大门口。
高桂刚入轿坐定，吴应熊的侍从走上前来，双手托住一个包袱，说道：「我们世子送给公公一点微礼，还望公公不嫌菲薄。」高桂笑道：「多谢了。」双手接过。轿子行出巷子不远，高桂迫不及待地掀起轿帘子，打开包袱，对着月光，见是三只锦盒，一只盒中装的是一对翡翠鸡，一公一母，雕工极是精细，另一盒装着两串明珠，每一串都是一百粒，这些珍珠每粒都一般大小，浑圆无瑕，第三只锦盒中装的却是金票，每张黄金十两，一共四十张，乃是四百两黄金。
翡翠和珍珠值不值钱，高桂看不出来，只觉无甚用处，随手放在一边，那四百两黄金的金票却是看起来赏心悦目，金光灿烂。忽然想起索额图所教，嘿嘿一笑，下回再见到吴应熊，只须淡淡地随便谢他一声，显得他礼物太过差劲，这小汉奸必定大大地再补上重礼。想到珍珠和翡翠，也就只有女孩子才会喜欢，正好送了给小郡主，只是这个年代似乎还没有钻石，若是有钻石，倒还真像是定情信物了，沐剑屏被点了穴放在自己床上，一会儿回去，不知她肯不肯表演个钢管舞给自己瞧呢？
想到小郡主那如花容颜，高桂吞了口口水，只是，这小郡主年纪小，恐怕是不知道男女之事的，要怎幺才能一亲芳泽呢？借口给她解穴，施展捏捏摸摸神功倒是最佳选择了！高桂满脸淫笑着回到皇宫，匆匆来到自己屋里，闩上了门，点亮蜡烛，揭开帐子，只见沐剑屏躺在床上一动不动，两眼睁得大大的，高桂笑道：「饿坏了幺？」
小郡主恨声道：「当然饿。」
高桂奇道：「你饿了不知道吃幺？我吩咐过你了的。这满屋子别的东西没有，吃食可多了。」
小郡主道：「我穴道未解，如何能吃得到！」
高桂一拍脑门，道：「糟糕，我把这茬给忘了。」高桂急忙端来一盒子零食，走到床边，忽见小郡主微蹙眉头，不由汗颜，好歹自己也是大富翁了，怎能给自己未来的好老婆吃得这幺寒碜！高桂一脚将那盒子扔到一边，推门出去，找来个小太监，安排了饭食。
回到屋中，向小郡主笑道：「木头瓶子，我给你点了你们云南菜，看老公我好不好？」
小郡主皱眉道：「什幺老公？你是我老公幺？」
高桂眼珠子一转，嘿嘿笑道：「什幺啊，我可没说是你老公，我姓郝，名劳贡，辛劳的劳，贡品的贡。」
小郡主奇道：「郝劳贡？这个名字，这个名字取得真是奇怪了。」忽然醒觉，俏脸通红，啐道：「什幺好老公！分明是赚人便宜！」
高桂心花怒放，心道：你连好老公都叫了，再逃不出我手心了！面上却是一本正经，道：「名字乃是父母所取，自己又做不得主，这可不怪我。」 The young eunuch said with a fawning smile, "Eunuch Gui, the cook told me to inform you that the soup for this Crossing-the-Bridge Rice Noodles is extremely hot. It doesn't look hot at all, but it is. This Xuanwei ham is cooked with candied lotus seeds, and it was cooked too quickly, so it might not be very soft. Please forgive me. This is Yunnan's black mustard greens. This dish is dried mandarin fish from Erhai Lake in Dali. Although it's not fresh fish, it's still very precious, and it's stir-fried with Yunnan safflower oil. The pot is filled with Yunnan Pu'er tea. The cook said that Yunnan's famous Steamed Chicken in a Clay Pot takes more than two hours to cook properly, so I'll have to bring it to you tonight, Eunuch Gui."
Gao Gui was quite pleased to see that they had brought such a large table of dishes in such a short time. He guessed that the imperial chefs had all had to get out of bed at the last minute. He took out two silver notes from his pocket, without even glancing at the amount. He gave the money to the young eunuch, saying, "You've all worked hard. Take this money and distribute it to everyone to buy wine and food."
The young eunuch, being the head eunuch of the imperial kitchen, dared not accept it. He pushed it away repeatedly, but Gao Gui, unwilling to argue, shoved it into his hand, closed the door, and bolted it shut. The young eunuch left outside, profusely thanking him.
Back in the room, Gao Gui lifted the bed curtains and saw that the young princess was still motionless. Knowing her acupoints were not yet released, she couldn't eat. He said, "Do you want me to feed you, or do you want me to release your acupoints so you can eat by yourself?"
The young princess hadn't eaten for most of the day and was already very hungry. However, neither feeding her nor releasing her acupoints seemed appropriate. Remembering his "winding" Amazonian acupoint-releasing method, her face flushed red, and she refused to answer him.
Seeing that she remained silent, Gao Gui laughed and said, "Well then, how about this? Tell me where you should release the acupoints, and I'll release them for you so you can eat it yourself, saving you from feeling embarrassed."
The little princess exclaimed in surprise, her face turning red as she cried out, "No! Your method of releasing acupoints won't work. Anyway, since the acupoints have been pressed, they'll naturally open up after six or seven hours without needing to be released. It'll be fine in a while." As she finished speaking, her stomach rumbled.
Gao Gui knew she thought he would have to use his mouth to release her pressure points, so he laughed and said, "It seems my Amazonian pressure point release method isn't suitable for you. I'll have to use my most common finger method. Just tell me where to press."
The little princess blushed even more, opened her mouth, but couldn't speak. Gao Gui looked at her blushing face, so beautiful and charming, and his heart pounded. He pointed to her slightly protruding left breast and said, "Is it here?"
The little princess hurriedly said, "No, no!"
Seeing her embarrassment, Gao Gui felt smug and pointed to her right breast, saying, "Could it be here?"
The little princess... The debater said, "No, it's not!"
Gao Gui's eyes darted around, and he pointed to her lower abdomen, saying, "Hmm, then it must be here!" As he spoke, he slowly extended his finger. The little princess was so anxious that tears streamed down her face, and she cried, "You're just bullying me! It's not there!"
Seeing her cry, Gao Gui withdrew his hand, his heart softening. He said, "Alright, alright, I won't tease you anymore. I was just joking with you." He turned and stood up, walked to the table, and put a little of each dish on a plate. He sat back down by the bed, picked up a slice of bright red and fragrant Xuanwei ham with his chopsticks, and brought it to the little princess's mouth, saying softly, "Open your mouth!"
Seeing the gentleness in his eyes, the little princess couldn't help but open her mouth and eat the slice of ham. After eating a little, the young princess said softly, "I...I'm full."
Gao Gui smiled and said, "Your stomach is so small. You're full after eating so little. Whoever marries you in the future will definitely save money." He smiled and put the plate back on the table, then took a fragrant white napkin to wipe the grease from her mouth. He then brought out some Pu'er tea, but since she was lying down, she definitely couldn't drink it. She rolled her eyes, found a clean piece of Xuan paper, aligned it, rolled it up, and made it into a straw.
The young princess took a sip of tea and praised, "You're so clever to have come up with such a method."
Receiving such praise from a beautiful woman, Gao Gui was overjoyed and laughed, "This is nothing, just a piece of cake. You'll see many more in the future."
The young princess took a few more sips. The Xuan paper, soaked in water, softened and gradually unfurled, spilling tea all over her. Startled, she was surprised, but thankfully the tea had been sitting for a while and wasn't too hot. Without thinking, Gao Gui reached out to wipe himself, his hand touching her soft, elastic breasts. It was like an electric shock; both of them gasped.
The young princess blushed crimson, so ashamed she wanted to disappear. She closed her eyes tightly, like an ostrich burying its head in the sand. Gao Gui quickly grabbed a napkin and handed it to her, but seeing she didn't move, he realized her acupoints were sealed; how could she possibly do it herself?
Gao Gui's heart pounded like a deer's. He tiptoed to wipe her breasts, noticing her rapid breathing and the small, soft breasts rising and falling. Tea had already soaked a patch of her clothing, revealing her snow-white skin. He immediately felt parched and, as if bewitched, his hand touched her breasts.
The young princess, so young, had never experienced anything like this
before. She felt a warm hand on her chest, her delicate body trembling slightly, as if electrocuted, a ticklish, tingling sensation. Her cherry lips parted slightly, uttering a soft, ethereal sound. At that soft moan, Gao Gui felt a sudden, deafening roar in his mind, his head going completely blank. Trembling, he touched the girl's breasts. The smooth, silky feel of her breasts, the damp clothes cool to the touch, yet a thousand tiny insects seemed to crawl through his heart. He leaned forward and planted a kiss on the girl's cherry lips. Before he could even lift his head, the young princess, having released her pressure points, slapped Gao Gui across the face.
Gao Gui was stunned by the blow. The young princess leaned forward, flicking her fingers across his chest. Gao Gui felt a numbness under his arm, followed by a sharp pain in his chest. His knees buckled, and he collapsed to the ground, his body weak and unable to move.
Seeing that she had struck his pressure points, the young princess didn't know what to do with the man who had taken liberties with her. She stood there blankly, tears streaming down her face, sobbing pitifully.
Gao Gui felt a pang of regret and apologized, "I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself, I... I did that."
The young princess cried even louder.
Gao Gui panicked, saying, "Don't cry so loudly! If someone hears you, they'll arrest you!"
The young princess ignored him, crying loudly, "You... you did this! What if I get pregnant? What will happen then?!" When she was little, the young princess had seen a couple near her home who had a child before marriage. They were condemned by everyone and, unable to face anyone, jumped into a river. How could she not be afraid?
Upon hearing her words, Gao Gui was first taken aback, then burst into laughter, saying, "I'm dying of laughter! I'm dying of laughter! I just kissed her, and she'll have a child?! Hahaha! It seems I really need to give you a sex education! Ouch, ouch!" His laughter, combined with the pressure point technique, caused a sharp pain in his chest.
The young princess stopped crying, her eyes widening, and asked, "No
, she won't have a child?" Gao Gui groaned, "Of course not! I've never seen such a silly little girl like you."
Although the young princess had been scolded, she felt relieved. Just as she was hesitating whether to kick this scoundrel a couple of times, she suddenly heard a click on the windowpane. Gao Gui was startled; he was the head eunuch of the imperial kitchen—who would dare joke with him like that! Just then, there was another sound from the windowpane, and the window creaked open. Gao Gui exclaimed in surprise, "Oh dear, a ghost!"
The little princess was terrified, her face turning pale, and she burrowed into the covers on the bed, trembling all over.
The window slowly opened, and someone called out in a sinister voice, "Little Gui, Little Gui!" In the darkness, the voice was high-pitched and eerie, sending chills down one's spine.

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