Holding hands

page views:1 Publication date:2022-09-28

I remember many times, in moments of deep affection, Yingying would nestle in my arms and whisper, "No matter what happens in this life, will we always love each other and never be apart?" I always answered, "Yes." Yingying is five years younger than me. I watched her grow up, waiting for years until she finally became my wife. Many times, looking through old photos and reliving Yingying's life, I smile, feeling incredibly happy. I'm the only boy in the family, but our life as a couple has been something I've dreamed of for years. Even after marriage, I insisted on moving out and living separately. "The joy of family life, do you understand?" my father asked me more than once. I told him, "Once we have children, let's move back in together immediately, okay? Give us some time, let us relax for a year or two." My father holds an important position in the city government, and thanks to him, my small company is thriving and has gradually grown in size. Now, I only need to check on things occasionally. Yingying and I have plenty of time to enjoy our lives. Two years have passed in the blink of an eye. We haven't had children yet. Yingying was only eighteen when we got married, and we had to change her age to get our marriage certificate. Maybe it's because I've watched Yingying grow up, but I always feel that she's still a child herself, so how could she be in such a hurry to have children? Yingying is a very cheerful and sensible girl. When she's with me, apart from the occasional bit of playful teasing, she's basically never argued with me. I'm older than her, and because of love and genuine tenderness, I'm willing to go along with her even if she has some issues. So, these two years of marriage feel almost the same as when we were dating. We still often go for walks hand in hand, shop and dine in beautifully decorated stores, and gaze at each other affectionately and kiss intimately wherever we are, oblivious to everyone else. Every few days, we go to the florist, pick out a fresh bouquet to put in our vase, wrap up the wilting flowers, and casually toss them into the trash can downstairs before our walk. This kind of married life is truly beautiful. It's so romantic it's almost an illusion. Yingying went to the class reunion alone that evening. Before leaving, she cautiously asked me, "They said on the phone that we weren't allowed to bring family members. You don't mind, do you?" I laughed and said, "Do you know why we don't let you bring your family? Because your classmates are all jealous of you having such a good husband." Yingying flicked my nose with her finger: "You're so vain." I said, "Am I wrong? Which of your classmates married as well as me?" "Yes, yes, my husband is the best. To avoid arousing everyone's jealousy, I went by myself, okay?" I originally wanted to go with her; some of her classmates are quite good-looking, but it looks like I won't have a chance to see them today. I asked Yingying, "Should we take a taxi or drive?" Yingying said, "Silly, of course I'll drive." True, it's a shame not to show off my new Beetle, such a beautiful car. So I told her, "Be careful not to drink too much. If you really can't drive, call me and I'll pick you up." After Yingying left, I sat alone in the living room for a while, fiddling with my phone for a long time, unable to think of anyone to call. There were no friends I wanted to see, no one I missed. In the past two years, Yingying had completely cleansed all my bad habits. Marriage is like this, isn't it? As the old saying goes, a walled city, instantly confining the past to another world. Those endless drinks, those countless girls, those songs, those countless emotions… those youthful recklessness, those carefree years, suddenly seem so distant, like they happened to someone else. I even feel a little nostalgic for that time. I couldn't wait to marry Yingying as soon as she turned eighteen. Now, thinking about it, it might not have been the right thing to do. If I had waited two years, or even two more, would she no longer be my wife? She was dating me at fourteen, making love to me at sixteen, always looking up to me, completely infatuated with me. Where was I afraid she would run off to? Love is truly a dangerous thing, like alcohol; it can easily cloud your judgment. After pondering for a while, I went to my study and turned on the computer. I go online without any particular purpose; my thoughts wander freely. Isn't freedom what the internet champions most? Everyone is interconnected, yet everyone is separated by the thickest wall. No need to wear a mask; on this side of the computer, you can't see whether the person laughing and cursing on the other side is a human or just a dog that knows how to surf the internet. I probably browse erotic websites the most. How much of my precious semen did that handwritten copy of "The Heart of a Young Girl" steal from me when I was a teenager? Yingying once asked me who I gave my virginity to. I didn't lie to her; I honestly confessed that it wasn't some beautiful young girl who took my virginity, but a trembling hand. We were making love at the time, and Yingying laughed until tears streamed down her face along with my vaginal fluids… Around eleven o'clock, I finished showering and was eating a bowl of noodles when Yingying returned from a party. A thin blush rose to her cheeks, making her breathtakingly beautiful. I've always loved Yingying when she's slightly tipsy—her voice husky, her demeanor languid, and the subtle sweetness in her breath intoxicating. Yingying nestled closer, and I gently wrapped my arms around her. Her waist was as supple and delicate as it had been years ago. "Was the gathering lively?" I asked casually. "Mmm," Yingying nestled in my arms. "This gathering had the most old classmates ever; several I hadn't seen in years came." I responded, my attention shifting to the half-eaten bowl of noodles. Yingying asked, "Why are you eating instant noodles?" I said between bites, "I don't want to cook, and I'm not in the mood to eat out." "Do you want me to make you something?" I smiled. "No need, instant noodles are fine." Yingying said, "Then I'll go take a shower." When Yingying came out of the shower, I was already a little tired, lying on the bed almost asleep. Yingying threw off the covers and teased me, "You can't go to sleep so early after just eating. Get up and exercise for a while before sleeping." I lazily replied, "Exercise what? It's just a bowl of instant noodles." Yingying shouted, "Instant noodles won't do either!" and reached out to pinch my nose. Helplessly, I sat up, nuzzling my nose into Yingying's chest, gently rubbing against her breasts. Yingying's body at twenty seemed almost the same as when she was sixteen—delicate and sensitive, a light touch making me feel a watery sensation within her. It wasn't entirely unchanged, though. The fine, soft, slightly yellowish down between Yingying's thighs from a few years ago had now become dark and thick, and when it touched my body, I couldn't help but feel a prickling sensation. In a brief moment, that thick, warm, moist mass slowly pressed against me, gently wriggling on my thigh. Because it was our wedding night, my husband and I had slept naked every night since our wedding night. I used to have so much energy! Often at night, one of us would wake up, and we'd have a passionate encounter. I'd maintained the habit of sleeping naked. Lately, I've been thinking about whether I should change this habit. After all, we've been married for two years; maybe I should tone down my frantic sex drive? After a while, I felt myself getting increasingly aroused. I stopped and reached into the bedside table drawer for a condom. Yingying clung tightly to me, pleading in a mournful voice, "Don't stop, I'm almost done." I gritted my teeth and continued, but after trying for a while, I still couldn't hear Yingying babbling incoherently. I was a little discouraged and whispered, "Are you done?" Yingying, with her eyes closed and mouth slightly open, was breathing heavily. Sensing my pause, her body began to throb anxiously, her lower abdomen thrusting against mine. In a low, almost sobbing voice, she cursed, "Fuck your father, Chen Zhong." A surge of heat rushed to my brain, my mind went blank for a moment, and I felt incredibly anxious. I pressed down hard, trying to force all the water out of Yingying's body, breathing heavily in her ear: "I'll fuck your mother." Yingying struggled wildly below, "No." I thrust desperately, saying to her again and again, "I'll fuck your mother..." Yingying answered again and again, "No..." Gradually, my body reached the edge of collapse: "Good Yingying, let me fuck you just once, okay?" Yingying said, "No, I'm not done yet." I begged repeatedly, "I can't take it anymore, let me fuck you just once." But inside, I was extremely anxious, panting and calling out:“I’ll fuck your mom,” Yingying said. “I’ll fuck your dad.” I said, “Okay.” Yingying said, “I’ll fuck your grandpa.” I said, “Okay.” Yingying said, “I’ll fuck your uncle, fuck your brother, fuck your aunt’s husband, fuck you…” I said, “I’ll just fuck your mom…” After a long time, I finally heard Yingying weakly reply, “Okay.” The dam of desire burst open instantly. This time, the pleasure of sex was just as intense as countless times before, so beautiful it felt like an illusion. I rolled off Yingying, a cigarette dangling from my lips for a long time without being lit; I felt so lazy that I didn’t even have the strength to light one. The sound of the Zippo lighter turning on was beautiful. Yingying lit my cigarette for me and lay on my chest, breathing softly. I closed my eyes and patted her bottom twice. "Go wash up." Yingying lay lazily on top of me, saying, "I just washed, I don't want to." I said, "I was just focused on feeling good and didn't use a condom." Yingying said, "It's okay if I didn't use one. If I get pregnant, I'll have one. My family is urging us to have one anyway. My mom even mentioned it on the phone today." I asked, "What about you? Do you want to have one now?" Yingying said, "I've thought about it, but I'm not particularly eager. The main thing is, if we don't have a child soon, I'll feel embarrassed to go home and meet your parents." I hummed in agreement and turned off the light. In the darkness, Yingying's body remained pressed tightly against me, her soft breathing drifting gently in the bedroom. I listened with my eyes closed, a wave of tenderness washing over me. Life is like this, and my wife is like Yingying; I should be content. After finishing my cigarette, I said, "Shall we sleep?" Yingying stirred but didn't answer. I asked, "What's wrong?" Yingying said, "I can't sleep, I want to talk to you for a bit more." I said, "Okay. What do you want to say?" Yingying chuckled softly, "You're getting more and more shameless, Chen Zhong." I asked her what was wrong. Yingying said, "Why do you only feel happy when you scold me now?" My face turned a little red, thankfully she took my excited ramblings as insults. I secretly rejoiced that I turned off the light in time, so Yingying couldn't see my embarrassment. I said softly, "You scolded me first." Yingying said, "Was I scolding you? It seems like I'm the one who suffers from that kind of scolding, right?" Damn! All my relatives and friends were wiped out by her in that moment, and she's the one who suffers? Desire started to stir up again, and I lowered my voice and asked her, "You seemed to enjoy it back then. If you feel you suffered, don't call me that again." I felt Yingying's body tremble slightly. After a moment of silence, Yingying said, "You're not angry with me, are you? You know, I sometimes talk nonsense when I'm happy." I carefully hugged her, "I'm not angry. Are you angry with me?" Yingying said, "No, you're my husband. Of course I can call out however I want, however I want. Remember what you taught me before? Holding back your moans during sex will harm your body." My mouth was dry, and the arm around Yingying trembled. Yingying asked, "What's wrong?" I said in a hoarse voice, "I want to fuck your mother." Yingying said, "Okay, go ahead and fuck her if you dare. I'm not afraid of exhausting you." I felt my breathing suddenly become difficult. Yingying chuckled, "You're shameless and you won't admit it. You're already hard after just one insult. If you fuck my mother, I'll fuck your father." I rolled over on top of her, even more eager than the first time. Soon, I heard Yingying's chuckle turn into panting."I'll fuck all the men in your family..." Damn, for now, who cares? Then we both fell silent. In the darkness, apart from the faint sound of breathing, neither of us spoke again. The way husband and wife talk is no longer the same as when they were dating. They still love each other, even more deeply than when they were dating, but the words they speak are washed away by the passing days, gradually becoming perhaps vulgar and commonplace, perhaps as bland as water. I always thought that happy days would pass by slowly like this, and one day I would die in such days. I faintly heard Yingying whispering again: "In this life, no matter what happens, we will always love each other, and never be separated, okay?" I slowly answered, "Okay." Yingying turned over in my arms, giving me a dark back view. I didn't know when she had fallen into a deep sleep. I was suddenly awakened by something. Did Yingying really ask me that a moment ago? Was it her murmur in her sleep, or did I hear her murmur in my dream? How long has it been since we had such a tender conversation? When one's spirit is vulnerable, one often experiences various illusions. Is it that when one is utterly exhausted, the spirit becomes somewhat fragile? II. Fading There's a song that goes: "Our love, once gone, will never return." Many times when I'm alone, this lyric echoes in my mind, and I suddenly become blankly lost in thought, inexplicably saddened. Aunt Mei's cold, stiff figure surges in from all directions like a tidal wave, engulfing me inch by inch, leaving no escape from the throbbing pain. Aunt Mei, once my intimate lover, is now my loving mother-in-law. After marrying Yingying, all the joy between Aunt Mei and me seemed to be severed in another time and space, too distant to touch again. We had two obscure and awkward encounters, each like crashing into an iceberg. Aunt Mei's once plump and tender figure fades layer by layer in my memory, growing colder and more chilling each day, making one hesitant to approach. The first time was the day Yingying and I got our marriage certificate. We shared the good news with Aunt Mei. During dinner, I tried to be attentive by adding rice to Aunt Mei's bowl. While serving, I casually called out, "Aunt Mei, how much?" Aunt Mei asked indifferently, "What did you call me?" I coughed twice and said, "Call me, Aunt..." Yingying reminded me that I should change how I address her. I opened my mouth, my face turning red, but I couldn't utter a sound. In the end, Aunt Mei said she was full and didn't even taste the rice I added. After dinner, while Yingying was washing the dishes, I slipped into Aunt Mei's room, hugged her from behind, and whispered, "Are you angry? What do you want me to call you? I'll call you, okay? You have to give me some time to adjust, right?" Aunt Mei didn't move. The soft, warm scent of her breasts aroused me intensely. My erect penis pressed against Aunt Mei's full thighs, and I whispered in her ear in a low, hoarse voice, "I missed you." My hand slipped under her shirt, grasping her breasts. They were still those indelible fullness, still that soft, tender feeling I remembered from my midnight dreams. I slowly kneaded them, waiting for Aunt Mei's body to go limp and collapse into my arms within ten seconds. Ten seconds passed, and I froze. Aunt Mei remained motionless. I was suspicious. My fingers gently brushed against those two familiar nipples, but they were soft and didn't harden at all. A wave of panic washed over me. I turned Aunt Mei to see her state of mind, only to find her eyes as cold as ice. In an instant, my previously surging lust plummeted to freezing point. My penis withdrew inch by inch, my heart clenched, and I felt like I could barely breathe. Just a few days ago, we were still passionately making love in this room, my voice trembling with excitement. I called her "Mei'er," and she called me "Bad Guy." I said, "Bad Guy? What's wrong? Aren't you still Mei'er, the bad guy?" She groaned and said yes, I am Mei'er, the bad guy. What's wrong with Aunt Mei today? I forced a smile and tried to get closer to her. Aunt Mei didn't say a word, a chilling aura emanating from her breath, instantly turning the entire room into winter. Some things don't need to be said. I backed away step by step, my clothes soaked with sweat as I left the room; I knew it was cold sweat. I think I understood Aunt Mei's attitude—a resolute severance. I went to the kitchen and watched Yingying wash the dishes, a mix of emotions swirling within me. Yingying said, "You don't need to lift a finger, I'll be done in a minute." I paused for a moment, then whispered, "I love you." Yingying turned and smiled at me, flicking a string of water droplets onto my face: "Silly girl, I love you too." Her smile was as radiant as the sun. Watching Yingying finish washing the dishes, I went over and slowly pulled her into my arms, inhaling her faint fragrance, quietly listening to the sound of our hearts beating in unison. Surprisingly, Yingying didn't fuss; she let me hold her quietly, her fingers gently tracing small circles on my back with her fingers resting on my waist. My body gradually warmed. After a long while, Yingying said, "You're acting strange today, what's wrong?" I said, "From today onwards, you're my wife." Yingying tiptoed and kissed me on the lips: "You're lying, I've been your wife for a long time." I picked Yingying up and tickled her with my lips. Yingying giggled, patting my back hard with both hands: "Did I say something wrong?" I said: "You didn't. From the day you were born, you were destined to be my wife." Coming out of the kitchen, I said to Yingying: "Come with me to thank your mother. I want to thank her for giving me such a wonderful wife." Yingying asked: "How wonderful?" I said: "So wonderful that I won't let go of your hand until I die. Is that good enough?" Yingying pouted: "Don't say unlucky things." I whispered: "Holding hands and growing old together. A happiness that only exists in legends, how could it be unlucky?" Yingying smiled sweetly: "Chen Zhong, will you grow old?" I said: "Yes." Yingying asked, "What about me?" I said, "You won't, you'll never grow old, you'll always be a little angel." Yingying said, "If you get old and I don't, how can we grow old together?" I asked, "Would you like to grow old with me?" Yingying said, "Of course I want to grow old with you, otherwise, if you go and grow old with someone else, wouldn't I, as your wife, be at a disadvantage?" I smiled slightly, amused by her words. As we walked through the living room towards Aunt Mei's room, Yingying whispered to me, "Remember to call her 'Mom.' She seemed a little unhappy because you wouldn't call her 'Mom' during dinner." I protested softly, "It's not that I didn't want to, I just couldn't bring myself to say it." Yingying said, "I'm not blaming you. It's a little nerve-wracking to suddenly have to call your family 'Mom' and 'Dad' all at once." After a few steps, Yingying said, "This time you absolutely must call her 'Mom,' okay? Don't you think your mom treats me as well as my mom treats you? It's only natural that you take the lead and call her 'Mom' first." I blushed slightly, "There's no 'your mom' or 'my mom' anymore, from now on, she's 'our mom.'" Yingying quickened her pace, pulling me towards Aunt Mei's room, shouting, "Mom, congratulations on your fortune! Give me a red envelope! Chen Chonglai is kowtowing to his mother-in-law!" I immediately...Zi was stunned. What? What era are we living in? Kowtowing is still in vogue?! Yingying had already pulled me into Aunt Mei's room. Aunt Mei was standing right where I had been when I left the room, and it seemed she hadn't even changed her posture in all this time. This time, I had nowhere to retreat. I secretly glanced at Aunt Mei's expression. There was a faint smile in her eyes, more pronounced than before. I lowered my gaze, not daring to look again. Behind that smile lay a hidden coldness, subtle yet incredibly hurtful. Aunt Mei's voice was as gentle and soft as ever: "No need for kowtowing, here, take the red envelope." Yingying reached out to grab it, but Aunt Mei slapped her hand: "There's none for you, this is for Chen Zhong." It felt like a heavy stone was pressing on my chest. I couldn't hear what Yingying was complaining about. I took two steps forward, knelt down before Aunt Mei, and called out: "Mom..." A surge of hot tears rushed up my throat, making my throat feel sweet, like I was about to vomit blood. For a moment, Yingying and Aunt Mei were both stunned, staring blankly at me, forgetting what to say. I looked up, staring intently into Aunt Mei's eyes. At this moment, I wasn't going to back down; that wasn't my style. Actually, the moment I knelt down, my heart was filled with mixed emotions. A man's knees are worth gold, so what? I was using the most respectful title in the world, kneeling before an elder who loved and cared for me. There was also a sense of despair; with this kneeling, I hoped Aunt Mei would see my resolve. The moment I received the red envelope, I clearly felt a slight tremor transmitted through it. This kneeling was worthwhile; she trembled too. Aunt Mei's mouth dropped open in surprise: "You…this child." I said, "Mom, please believe me, I will be good to Yingying for the rest of my life." Aunt Mei said, "I…believe you are a good child." Not long after, Yingying and I held our wedding and moved into our new home, living happily as a couple. When I saw Aunt Mei again, I called her "Mom" without hesitation, making Yingying happy and praising me for being even sweeter than her. Aunt Mei always had that loving smile, and like all mothers, she cooked the most delicious meals to welcome us every time we visited. Days passed, and I never again dared to approach Aunt Mei so recklessly. Those absurd days gradually faded from my memory, and many times I even doubted whether it had ever really happened. I thought it was just a hazy, dreamlike fantasy, and that Aunt Mei was always just my mother, my second mother. My infatuation was rekindled by a single white hair at Aunt Mei's temple. One day, after dinner, we sat in the living room chatting. I can't remember why Yingying left for a moment. Aunt Mei and I were catching up, and I noticed a white hair flash at her temple. Without a single romantic thought, I moved closer and said, "Don't touch it." I reached out to brush away the white hair, and Aunt Mei leaned down slightly and asked softly, "A white hair?" I said, "Yes, a white hair." Afraid of hurting Aunt Mei, I plucked it very carefully and gently. Her breath brushed against Aunt Mei's cheek, the returning air warming my heart. As I plucked the white hair, I found Aunt Mei nestled softly against my chest. My heart pounded, and I felt the world shake. I looked down and saw Aunt Mei's slightly parted lips and unfocused eyes. In that moment, she was no longer my mother, but a lover who had waited for me for half my life. Our eyes met for a fleeting instant, and without realizing it, we kissed deeply. Then, a sharp, piercing pain shot through my lips. I gasped, struggling to suppress a cry. A faint sweetness rose within me; I knew this bite wasn't out of hatred or anger, but… endless tenderness. A tear rolled down Aunt Mei's cheek, wetting my lips, leaving a bitter taste. Then, Aunt Mei slapped me hard across the face. I clutched the hair I had just plucked tightly in my hand, turned, and returned to my seat. The air in the living room seemed still. I didn't know whether to regret my actions or feel relieved. I remained silent for a long time, head bowed, repeatedly stroking Aunt Mei's hair in my hands. What should I say? Looking up, I saw Aunt Mei hastily avert her gaze from my lips, secretly licking them with her tongue, feeling a burning, swollen sensation. Taking a deep breath, I said, "Believe me, I will be good to Yingying for the rest of my life." It was the same old thing. But, I could only repeat it again. Aunt Mei remained silent, and I felt a chill silently emanating from her, freezing the world second by second. I felt a pang of grievance: "You don't believe me?" Aunt Mei said, "Being good to someone isn't just about indulging them, giving them love and happiness; the most important thing is not to hurt them, do you understand?" I was at a loss. Aunt Mei said, "Forget about the past. Yingying was little then, and I felt young myself. Now Yingying is grown up, and I'm old too." I said, "No, you're not old at all. In my heart, you'll never grow old." Aunt Mei said, "I am old now. The first gray hair I plucked, the second quickly grew back. Keep this hair safe, remember this hair, and let go of the past. You're excellent. I remember the first time you came to my house, I liked you very much. I secretly thought that if you really became my son-in-law, I would be happy for Yingying." Aunt Mei suddenly sighed heavily, "It's all my fault." I said, "No, it's my fault." Aunt Mei said, "After you caught me cheating that time, I was afraid you would look down on Yingying because of me, and I was afraid it would affect Yingying's future happiness. I wanted to make amends, so I seduced you, hoping to keep you firmly by Yingying's side. Now that I've succeeded, I can't allow myself to make the same mistake again." Aunt Mei asked softly, "You're very smart, you should understand what I mean, right?" "I understand." "That's good." Aunt Mei smoothed her hair, her expression incredibly loving: "You know what? Every time you call me 'Mom,' I'm genuinely happy. I'll be content until the day I die." I looked into Aunt Mei's eyes, and at that moment we drew closer again, our hearts so close. Yet, it felt as if we were now worlds apart. That day, after returning home with Yingying, we made love that night. For a full hour or two, I rode her body frantically, unable to release my pent-up desire. Yingying's juices flowed with each thrust, soaking a large patch of the sheets. When there was no more fluid, Yingying's cries of pleasure turned to pain: "Chen Zhong, you're going to break me! Please have mercy on me, I'll use my mouth to help you for a while." Using both hands and feet, I eventually swelled Yingying's mouth as well. Yingying collapsed onto the bed, begging, "I surrender, Chen Zhong, I swear I'll never tease you again." I breathed heavily, my penis throbbing as if it were about to burst, and my heart felt like it was about to explode from the pressure. Yingying was truly stunned, repeatedly asking me, "What's wrong, Chen Zhong? Don't scare me, okay?" I murmured, "I don't know, I really don't know." Struggling to get out of bed, I paced back and forth in the bedroom, round and round, unable to stop. A phrase came to mind: a trapped beast. This must be what a trapped beast feels like, right? I slammed my fist against the wall, a powerful, all-out attack that seemed to shake the entire wall, yet I felt no pain. Yingying jumped off the bed to my side, grabbing my hand tightly, tears welling in her eyes with fear."Chen Chong, don't scare me, what happened?" I said, "I don't know." Why is this happening? I feel terrified, more terrified than suddenly discovering I'm impotent. My body isn't obeying my own commands; I really want to take a knife and chop off my stubborn penis. Yingying finally burst into tears: "Chen Chong, why don't you hit me?" I gasped for breath: "Why would I hit you?" Yingying said: "Maybe hitting me will make it better. You hit the wall so hard, your hand will break." Only then did I realize that the skin where my knuckles had protruded from that punch had cracked, and drops of blood were dripping down, staining Yingying's little hand red. I woke with a start, frantically trying to soothe Yingying: "I'm fine, Yingying, I just can't ejaculate, it's so uncomfortable." Yingying knelt at my feet, opening her small mouth to kiss me again. After a few kisses, I cupped Yingying's face, stopping her from continuing: "No, it's even more uncomfortable, I can't feel anything down there." Yingying pulled me, leading me to the edge of the bed, and lay down on her back: "Come on, Chen Zhong, I can handle it." Yingying was so beautiful, her delicate ankles pressing against her thighs, her knees gently bent, her fair legs spread to their limit, between her snow-white thighs, the small hole, already red from penetration, was slightly swollen, like a ripe peach splitting open. For a moment, I was moved. This position wasn't lewd at all; Yingying was unfolding her body, presenting me with unreserved love. I said: "Yingying, I love you." "Yingying said, "I love you too." I stared at Yingying without moving. Yingying asked, "What are you waiting for? I'm all ready." I said, "It's useless, it'll just make you suffer again." Yingying reached out and pulled me, "No suffering, come on, I want it. Don't you love hearing me moan? I'll moan for you properly this time." I said helplessly, "It's useless." Yingying asked, "How can it work? Teach me, I'll learn as soon as you teach me." I softened a little and followed Yingying's lead, lying on top of her. I said, "Bite me, try it." Yingying gently bit my shoulder. What kind of bite was that? It didn't hurt or itch, it was more like a kiss. I said, "A little harder." "Yingying said, "No, I can't bite it. Let's try something else." I said, "Then curse me." Yingying asked, "How do I curse? I don't know how." I said, "You don't even know how to curse? Have you never cursed anyone before?" Yingying thought for a moment: "Chen Zhong, you're a hooligan, you're shameless, you're a big bad guy..." Is that what you call cursing? I was extremely frustrated and tried to get up, but Yingying held me tightly, not letting me leave: "That's all I know how to curse. Why don't you curse me first? You can say a couple of things and I'll hear it." I said fiercely, "Fuck your mother." All the stiffness began to thaw with that curse, and everything suddenly became clear. I felt the blood in my body return to normal, and my penis, inserted into Yingying's body, found its original sensation. I pressed down heavily and cursed again: "Fuck your mother..." Yingying said with difficulty beneath me: "Fuck... Chen Zhong, I can't, I can't say it." I didn't care whether she could say it or not, and I accelerated my thrusting. In an instant, the torrent that had been suppressed all night was released. After taking a shower, Yingying and I lay on the bed in each other's arms. I said: "I'm sorry..." Yingying said: "What are you sorry for? If you want to do something in the future, just tell me, don't keep it to yourself, okay? I was so worried about you just now." I asked cautiously: "I cursed you, aren't you angry?" "Yingying said, "So what if you scold me? What's there to be angry about? But you're really heartless. My mom is so good to you, and you still scold her." I stammered, "I..." Yingying said, "You're not allowed to scold me like that normally. It's too awful. You can only scold me during sex." I said, "I was just holding it in so much, so I just blurted it out. I would never normally scold you like that." "Yingying laughed, "Yes, I know you're the best to me..." Many times I've thought that Aunt Mei and I never truly loved each other. The initial encounter, as Aunt Mei said, was a purposeful seduction. She seduced me for Yingying's sake, and I slept with her to satisfy my lust. Love between us was never a thing. Even if there had been a sliver of a chance it should have happened, it never would have. Many things, if kept in memory for too long, will slowly fade, won't they? I can no longer recall any trace of our past love. [The End]

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Holding hands

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