Youmeng Garden - A Poem of Reminiscence

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Ten years have passed like a dream of Yangzhou, leaving only a reputation for heartless dalliance in the brothels.

- Du Mu, "Expressing My Feelings"

He always wore a blue robe, a smile on his face, yet a helpless melancholy lingered in his clear eyes. He was different from the others who came here. This was a brothel, Yangzhou's largest tourist paradise: the Misty Rain Pavilion. And she was the top courtesan of the Misty Rain Pavilion, this year's reigning queen: Mei Xue. Slightly different from the other unfortunate courtesans,

she sold her art, not her body. Of course, as the brothel's star attraction, the owner, well aware of the psychology of those seeking pleasure, understood that the more unattainable something is, the more one desires it! The cunning owner was waiting for the right price. And she, Mei Xue, had already understood and helplessly accepted this inescapable fate. Tomorrow was her wedding day, or rather, the day she would be auctioned off. According to custom: each year's reigning queen was to be married off through a competitive auction, the highest bidder winning, including a contract of servitude; from then on, her body would belong to the winner! The only right of the courtesan is that she can choose her beloved and give him her virginity! Everything else is done according to the rules!

Tonight, sleep is elusive. She can't help but think of him again, of his blue robes and his always smiling face. She remembers the eyes that captivated her most—those eyes, misty with spring rain, serene like distant mountains, yet filled with unfulfilled ambition!

He wasn't a down-on-his-luck scholar, though he always wore a blue robe; nor was he a dashing scion of a noble family, though he lived a life of luxury and extravagance. He was a fallen hero, yet his heart held profound wisdom; his face was full of smiles, yet his eyes revealed a deep sorrow… He was, in truth, lonely! Not the loneliness of wandering the world alone, but the loneliness of being full of ambition, yet unable to fulfill his aspirations! He was truly just lonely… He was about to leave, she knew. Perhaps tonight, perhaps tomorrow! That would be alright! Although she didn't know when he arrived, or where he came from, she knew when he would leave, and even if she couldn't see him off, that was enough! She truly knew he was leaving, for that afternoon he had given her a poem: "A heart adrift in the world, wine in hand, a slender waist held lightly in my palm.

Ten years a dream of Yangzhou, winning only a reputation for heartless dalliance in brothels."

Although she didn't know him well, knew nothing of his past, and perhaps not even of his future! The only thing she knew was the short year they had spent together. Yet she understood him. She understood him as a person, his poetry, and his loneliness! Therefore, she knew in her heart: he was about to leave. It shouldn't be tonight, perhaps tomorrow.

Unlike other pleasure-seekers, he didn't seem to be infatuated with the decadent pleasures and nightly revelry of brothels, nor did he seem to yearn for the alluring beauties of the courtesan kingdom! He rarely even kept any women for the night. But he was also unlike the Confucian scholars, spouting moralistic pronouncements. He too, surrounded by beauties, indulging in wine and women. He must have been there long ago; a year ago, when she fell into hardship and was imprisoned in the brothel, he was already a regular. He moved among the beauties: a down-on-his-luck man in a simple blue robe, a poet and a wine connoisseur. But she noticed the desolation in his eyes, that cynical smile, that unfulfilled ambition… She knew: he would be the only thing holding onto in her lifeless heart! But she wasn't worthy of him, and perhaps couldn't control him! She only wanted to silently watch him, to quietly understand him—that would be the only thing she wanted to do in her future life!

She did understand him, but the more she understood, the less she could selfishly bind him. Yes, he didn't belong here; like a phoenix soaring to the heavens, a dragon roaming ten thousand miles! Ultimately, he would ride the clouds away. But even though her heart, like a moth drawn to a flame, was unafraid of the burning flames, it wasn't truly without desire. She was almost unable to control her heart, or perhaps, she had already let her entire heart succumb long ago.

Thinking about it still made her feel ashamed! She hadn't truly controlled her heart. She wasn't truly willing to let him go; she had actually fought for herself. And she knew: he was ultimately different for her. Although she didn't know how much he meant to her, he cared about her, didn't he? This very afternoon, as they drank and recited poetry, reveling in romance; in her embroidery room in the Misty Rain Pavilion, she finally couldn't suppress her emotions any longer. She wanted to give him her one and only precious virginity! She only wanted to give it to the one she loved most!

She drank a few extra cups, quickly becoming slightly drunk. Although she didn't want to lose herself to her lover in her dazed state, if she were sober, she would probably die of shame just thinking about it. How could she have the courage to seduce, no, tempt him? The alcohol quickly took effect: she felt her cheeks flushed and burning, and her head began to spin. In her hazy state, she felt her whole body burning with heat and sweating profusely. Her light gauze dress clung tightly to her exquisite, curvaceous body, already dripping with sweat. Moreover, her mind became increasingly muddled, and she vaguely felt the world spinning. She knew she had to act quickly. Forgetting her shyness any longer, she mustered her courage for her beloved. Her cherry lips exhaled a fragrant breath, and she muttered that it was too hot. Slowly, she gently loosened her silk robe, and as she used to do when she was alone, she moved with light, graceful steps to the dressing table mirror, arranging her hair before it. Her long, dark hair cascaded like smooth satin over her bare shoulders as her robe faded. Unconsciously, she seemed to forget her shyness, as if no one else was there, only herself admiring her snow-white skin, which no one had ever had the chance to see or touch before. Her figure was slightly slender and delicate, but this did not diminish her beauty in the slightest. On the contrary, she possessed the youthful and pure beauty of a young woman, while also exuding an infinitely languid, shy, and charming allure.

She tilted her head back slightly, letting her dark hair glide over her bare shoulders and then fall softly down her back. Gently, she reached her slender hands towards her pink undergarment, gazing at her full, virgin breasts, which were now prominently displayed. A blush flashed through her previously hazy mind, and her trembling fingers hastily untied the garment. At the same time, the touch of her fingers on her breasts, which she had never touched before, sent a jolt of electric pleasure through her. She felt an unprecedented wave of ecstasy wash over her, making her unable to restrain herself any longer. She only wanted to throw herself into her lover's arms and beg for his tenderness. However, a sliver of consciousness told her that her lover seemed unmoved, or perhaps he was eagerly enjoying her performance. Her mind grew increasingly muddled, and she could only continue to succumb to the burning desire within her... Her fingers continued to wander over her breasts, and finally, driven by her inner longing, she gently lifted the sweat-soaked undergarment. Because her breasts were proudly erect, the undergarment, without any support, did not slip down, but remained tightly protecting and covering her now completely naked breasts. Her jade-like hands lingered for a long time on her breasts through the thin undergarment, her fingers caressing the entire breast and nipple, feeling them grow and protrude in her palms, before she ruthlessly let the bra slip down her breasts and float to the ground. Slowly, she used both hands to caress her now completely exposed breasts, from the white pectoral muscles, the fragrant cleavage, the tender breasts, and even the rosy nipples... Her jade-like hands kept roaming back and forth, each time pausing especially on the breasts and nipples, gently pinching and kneading, but this was not enough to satisfy her burning desire. At the same time, she opened her eyes, which had been half-closed in ecstasy, and looked at her beloved, her watery eyes filled with desire, but she could only vaguely see a blurry figure, only a green dress, and a faint smile... She could no longer think with her willpower, she staggered towards her beloved, but stumbled and fell onto the soft embroidered quilt. Her desire continued to burn, her hands unconsciously moving to the next point, sliding down to her lower abdomen, carefully and gently exploring downwards, towards her sensitive, untouched, and mysterious area—a place so alluring! Even when bathing, she was careful not to touch it, and the occasional accidental touch brought a shiver of embarrassment mixed with shyness. But now, the pleasure from caressing it overwhelmed her like a tidal wave. Her tightly pressed lips could no longer hold back, and "Ah..." Overwhelmed by the intense stimulation, she fainted. In her daze, she seemed to feel her lover gently lift her up and place her in a warm embrace, and soon, she drifted off to sleep in blissful bliss.

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Youmeng Garden - A Poem of Reminiscence

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