I still vividly remember the heart-pounding feeling I had when I slept with my older cousin during my adolescence.

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This is kind of a memoir, but thinking about it now still gets me excited, and my penis is still getting hard, haha, it feels a bit like incest. Actually, it would have been quite normal in ancient times, wouldn't it? It's quite normal in *Dream of the Red Chamber*, isn't it? My cousin is my uncle's daughter, and marriage wasn't a problem back then. Even now, my sexual orientation and aesthetic sense regarding women are heavily influenced by my cousin. Fellow wolves, every man, during puberty or his youthful infatuation, must have had someone plant a seed of curiosity or desire for women in his heart, and that seed influences his entire life. Those of you reading this, why not let your thoughts drift back to that innocent and impulsive era, and reminisce a bit? Okay, back to the main topic, let's begin my journey of reminiscence! That was when I was in fifth grade, probably around ten years old. My older cousin came to visit. Actually, she was more like a young married woman, haha. I had met her before when I visited my uncle's house, but we rarely saw each other. My family was very busy with work, and they only took me to visit my uncle's house during holidays, so we didn't see each other often. I don't know when she got married, but when she came to my house, she was already divorced. It seems she divorced after less than a year of marriage. Since my uncle's family lived in the countryside, divorced women couldn't stand the gossip. My cousin had married someone from the city, which was a source of pride for my uncle's family in the countryside. My family also lived in a prefecture-level city. After her divorce, my cousin lost her job because it was arranged by her divorced family. My mother then asked her to come to our house and used her connections to get her a job. The main reason was that my parents were too busy with work and wanted my cousin to tutor me. She was a vocational school teacher trainee. At ten years old, I didn't really understand how to appreciate women; I just thought my cousin was very tall and fair-skinned. Describing my cousin back then in my current mindset, she was probably around 21 or 22 years old and about 172 cm tall.She had fair skin, big eyes, and a classic cherry-like mouth. To this day, in my mind, my cousin's mouth is the sexiest mouth I've ever seen, the kind that makes men want to kiss it. Alas... That was in the late 1980s. My cousin was a true natural beauty. Her height, especially her legs, were fair yet shapely. Her buttocks were very round and full, and her breasts weren't very big. Paired with her delicate features and long hair, she was truly beautiful. We lived in a self-built house, and after my cousin came, she lived with me in the same room. It was a traditional northern-style kang (heated brick bed), and we each slept at one end. I was young then and didn't understand anything. I even threw a tantrum for a few days because my cousin and I shared a room. I felt very restricted and really disliked her, especially since she had to supervise my studies. Boys often go through a phase when they're young and are quite averse to women, and I was in that phase. My cousin stayed with us for over four years. I don't have many memories of the first three years; it was mostly just the kind of war between a little kid and his cousin who was supervising his studies. The turning point came in the first year of junior high. My body started developing, and one day I suddenly noticed that my penis had gotten bigger and had grown hair. Damn, it scared me so much that I was restless for days. Sigh, my generation didn't have much puberty education. As my body changed, I started paying attention to the women around me. My cousin was the first one, the woman closest to me. During that year of puberty, my eyes were always on my cousin. I found that my cousin was really beautiful. It turned out that my cousin's clothes were so fashionable, much better dressed than my teachers. My cousin often wore white pants back then, probably some kind of material that was popular at the time, thin and soft. I especially liked seeing my cousin in white. Her legs were so straight, her butt was full and perky, and her legs were so tightly pressed together. Even now, I still like to look at women wearing white pants. This is because I was deeply influenced by my cousin. I don't know if people of that era were more prone to overlooking things or what, but my cousin always treated me like a child. We lived in the same house, so there was no way to avoid her. At night, she always wore a bra and underwear, and sometimes she wouldn't hide from me when she was walking around. I was still quite naive during puberty, and I just loved to look. I was always sneaking peeks at my cousin's breasts and buttocks, and of course, I had to look at her genitals too. I was most curious about her breasts and genitals, especially when she wore her underwear at night. My eyes were like a thief's. I still remember that my cousin often wore a flesh-colored underwear, which had a huge impact on me. Even now, I get aroused faster when I see that color of underwear, haha. Back then, I didn't know what men and women could do, and I always blushed when I peeked. That year, something happened that became the catalyst for what followed between my cousin and me. As I mentioned before, we lived on a large kang (heated brick bed), each of us occupying one end, with the middle empty. One night, I don't know how, I rolled to the other end. Some of you might be wondering if I've always been a pervert since childhood, haha. Honestly, I really don't know how I got there. I remember it clearly: I woke up suddenly, feeling myself being held in someone's arms, surrounded by a woman's fragrance. My face was pressed tightly against something soft. My first thought was to be in my cousin's arms. I didn't have any other thoughts, just that boyish shyness that instantly filled me. My face flushed red and burned. I pushed my cousin away and rolled back to my bed. My cousin mumbled sleepily, "It's over now, cover yourself up. You can't sleep peacefully." Then she fell asleep again. I felt both ashamed and embarrassed. After calming down, I remembered my cousin's delicate fragrance—a woman's scent, the scent of a mature woman—and the softness of her skin against mine… I couldn't sleep… The next day, my cousin acted as if nothing had happened. At lunch, she even told my mother that I could roll from one end of a large kang (heated brick bed) to the other, and everyone in the family laughed, saying that I was only suited to sleeping on a kang; otherwise, I'd fall off the bed every day and never wake up. It was obvious my cousin really treated me like a child. In the second year of junior high, my body was developing strongly, and I entered my rebellious phase. I started fighting and skipping school, and I received my first puberty education—"pornographic videos." Back then, it seemed nobody cared; video arcades showed them in broad daylight. For a period, I skipped school to watch those Hong Kong martial arts and gunfight movies. Two yuan could buy a whole day's worth. For a while, I associated with some local thugs who laughed at me when they found out I watched those two-yuan videos, saying, "Two-yuan videos are for kids. You watch them too? Aren't you ashamed?" I was confused. What? Did adults watch those? I asked what we were looking at, and the other person replied with an air of arrogance, "Damn, you're only just realizing this? What's so great about two-dollar stuff? Come on, I'll show you three-dollar stuff." Damn, three dollars is all that awesome? I'll probably never forget that line for the rest of my life, haha, it had a bit of a lame joke feel to it, haha! We arrived at a video arcade, each of us paid three yuan, and groped our way to a rickety sofa near the TV in the dark. I stared at the screen for a minute but still couldn't understand what was playing. Damn, my puberty education was too intense! The first movie was an American film, with a huge penis thrusting into a fat hole, close-up shots. I watched for almost a minute and still didn't understand what it was. The video quality was terrible, not even in the same league as today's quality. A minute later, my blood rushed, and my head swelled up. I don't really remember ever having an erection before, but that felt like the first real erection. I felt like I was on fire. I looked around frantically and realized no one was paying attention to me. My anxious heart calmed down a bit. I really felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest. So that's what it's like between men and women. On that day, I truly grew up. For days after watching the video, I was in a daze. Every time I saw a man or woman, the image of that enormous penis thrusting into me would flash before my eyes. At night, I couldn't bear to look at my cousin; my eyes would involuntarily fixate on her genitals, and my penis would be incredibly hard. Those few days felt like I was seriously ill. Later, some things happened. I was away from home for almost a year, which I won't go into detail about, but that year I learned about sex, learned a lot, and truly grew up. That year, I constantly thought about my cousin, fantasizing countless times about conquering her—that cousin who made me lose my appetite, those captivating eyes, those cherry lips, those full breasts and firm, plump buttocks. When I masturbated, I always thought about my cousin. Then, I went home… My cousin was talking about marriage again, but she was still staying at my house. On the way home, I thought that if I went back now, I definitely wouldn't be sleeping with her anymore. What a pity! When I saw her again, I truly realized how beautiful she was. A long dress accentuated her graceful figure, and my heart raced instantly. I got an erection. I rushed back to my own room, and as expected, we slept separately. But I wanted my cousin even more. I fantasized about making love with her almost every night. That year, I was exposed to a lot of unhealthy things in society. It was much more wicked than a year ago. I kept making plans, but because of my age and other factors, my thinking was still immature. Besides, my cousin was both an adult and a relative to me, which was complicated and contradictory. After a while, a perfect opportunity came. Because of some family matters, many people came, mostly elders and seniors. My cousin ended up sleeping in the same room with me again. Actually, I was probably not even fifteen years old at that time. My family still didn't treat me like an adult, including my cousin. When I heard the news, I almost screamed. I was so excited. I forgot some details, but when I first came back, several times when my family wasn't home, I sneaked into my cousin's house and rummaged through the closet for her underwear. I especially remember the first time. When I held her underwear, especially her panties, my heart was pounding. The flesh-colored cotton panties, I smelled them deeply, finding the part that covered her plump vulva. I remember the color was slightly darker. I put them to my nose and then to my mouth. Oh, it was so enjoyable. There was a faint smell of laundry detergent and some other indescribable scent. I used the crotch of the panties, the part that covered her vulva, to tightly wrap my penis and slowly rub it. Cousin, I want to fuck you so much. I lay on my cousin's bed, smelling her scent, fantasizing about thrusting my penis hard into her plump pussy on this bed. The best and most complete resources are all at Nini Lu.I ejaculated directly onto my cousin's underwear. I quickly washed it, dried it, and put it back where it belonged. That night, I thought about how exciting it would be if my cousin wore that underwear with my semen on it sometime. After my cousin moved in, I could only fall asleep after masturbating every night. In the darkness, I could vaguely see my cousin wearing her underwear. Finally, one night, I wasn't satisfied with just masturbating. I wanted to do something. I remembered that night two years ago, the night I unknowingly rolled into my cousin's bed. Yes, that's what I did. After the lights were turned off at night, I waited. I guess it took two or three hours. Then I slowly started rolling. My heart was pounding. Even now, as I'm typing this, I'm experiencing that racing heart feeling again. It was such a complex mix of emotions—worry, fear, excitement, and primal desire overwhelmed everything. The distance between the two ends of the kang (heated brick bed) was so vast. I would roll over, stop, and then roll over again. It felt so far and so long. I think this process took at least half an hour. I was so worried about what would happen when my cousin woke up. Looking back, I was really brave back then. I was young and didn't think things through. Finally, I rolled to my cousin's side. I couldn't see anything in the dark, but I could feel that my cousin's back was turned. I didn't dare lift her blanket. Slowly, I pressed myself against her, and through the blanket, I could feel her warmth… This is all true. I need to think it over and write it slowly. If you like it, please give it a thumbs up! Hehe. Let's continue. Please give me a thank you and support me. I hope more people will like it. I snuggled close to my cousin through the blanket. Early spring in the north was still a bit chilly, and I was only wearing briefs. I was flustered, nervous, and excited all at the same time. I didn't know what to do next. Slowly, I reached my foot under the blanket, but the moment it touched my cousin's leg, I jerked it back as if I'd been electrocuted. My mental fortitude dictated my reflexes, haha. After a few minutes, I calmed down and mentally prepared myself to act like I was asleep, not giving myself away. Everything had to be natural. I tried to calm my nerves, making my breathing even and natural, like someone breathing while asleep. I draped my arm over my cousin through the blanket and hugged her tightly, hoping she'd notice me. But she was fast asleep and didn't react. I slowly mustered my courage, first slipping my feet under the covers, then one leg, and finally my upper body, half-covering myself. I didn't touch my cousin, though. I wanted to see how she reacted when she noticed me. I pretended to be asleep, my cousin so close, the blanket filled with her scent—it was intoxicating. I hoped she would turn around, since she was sleeping with her back to me, and then she would find me under the covers. Finally, she turned around. I was lying on my side facing her, curled up—I had to curl up, my penis was still hard. Her turn was just enough to hug me. I forgot to mention, my cousin is over 1.7 meters tall, definitely tall. She's the tallest woman in the whole family; I was less than 1.68 meters at the time. I could feel my cousin vaguely noticing me. She nudged me, calling my name and telling me to go to my own bed. I pretended not to hear, still feigning sleepiness as she nudged me, and snuggled into her arms. She mumbled a few words, then pulled the blanket over me, still holding me in the same position. I boldly placed my hands on her waist, but unfortunately, she pulled them away. My head ended up on her soft breasts, so soft even through her thin bra. Hearing her fall asleep, I slowly pressed my body closer to her. I gently placed my hands on her waist again, tilted my face up, and pressed my face against her breasts, right between them. That alluring scent is still unforgettable. My fingers touched the edge of her panties, which was incredibly stimulating. I don't know... I really wanted to see what color underwear my cousin was wearing today, her plump buttocks and genitals encased in it. My hand slowly moved, reaching the back half of her buttocks. At that time, I wasn't really good at appreciating women; my hand really wanted to touch her genitals. My hand remained still between my cousin's thighs, my fingers could clearly feel the heat in her genitals, but to touch her completely, her legs had to be spread apart. I just waited quietly. I buried my face in my cousin's breasts, mostly hidden by her bra, and slowly kissed the spot where I had stopped. Suddenly, my cousin moved, and my heart soared. But I didn't move. My cousin actually put her leg on my thigh, and my hand, following her movement, ended up on the part of her thigh. I was afraid she would touch my hand, which would ruin everything, but thankfully she didn't. My fingers slowly probed inside, touching her vulva through her thin, loose panties. My fingers groped their way in, finding it soft and yielding. I pulled down the waistband, letting half my hand slip inside. I covered my cousin's vulva with my half-hand, too afraid to move. What should I do next? I was terrified. My hand was touching a warm, moist body. One of my fingers touched that slit in my cousin's body that I so desperately wanted to enter—warm and moist. I really wanted to shove my finger in, but I couldn't. A sudden wave of fear washed over me, and I pulled my hand away. Ugh… damn, this won't do. I need to calm down. If I force it, and my cousin wakes up, there won't be any way to handle it. That'll have to do tonight. I'll think of something else. I endured it. After a while, I pretended to wake up, went back to my own bed, and then took care of it with my hand. The next day, nothing happened. My cousin even scolded me, saying that even as an adult, I couldn't sleep soundly. I just chuckled. That day, I couldn't stop thinking about my cousin's sexy body. What should I do? I had to get her. The best way was to drug her. I skipped class in the afternoon and went to the pool hall to play and chat with some hoodlums. I listened to them brag and joke around. One of them was particularly talkative, bragging about who he'd been with. I asked him if he'd ever used drugs, just to probe. He said he'd handled a lot of drugs, but he'd never actually used aphrodisiacs. He said he'd use sleeping pills instead. Wow, he was really professional. I finally got the name of the drug: triazolam. I remembered it vividly. Naively, I went to the pharmacy to buy it, but I couldn't find it anywhere. Damn, they wouldn't sell it. In the end, I went back to those hoodlums and lied, saying a classmate had heard my bragging and their stories that afternoon and wanted to buy the drug too. I ended up spending 50 yuan for three blue pills. I couldn't wait a moment longer. I kept planning how to put the drug in my head. At that age, my mind was still naive, haha. I was also very direct in my actions. When I got home that night, I carefully ground one pill and wrapped it in a small paper packet. That day was the most beautiful day of my cousin's life, haha, I remember it so vividly. She was wearing a trendy batwing top and slightly tight white pants. After watching TV in the guest room that evening, she came over and sat at one end of the kang (a heated brick bed) leaning against the cabinet reading a magazine. I pretended to do my homework, and after a while I said, "Sister, I want some orange juice, can you make me a cup?" She ignored me and said she'd do it herself. Haha, I knew it! I ran to the kitchen, made two cups, and then nervously poured the medicine into one of them. It actually bubbled! Damn, that startled me. The color didn't change much. I casually carried it back to my room and naturally put a cup for my cousin. She didn't say anything. Actually, after being family for so long, this wasn't anything special. Sitting at my desk, I kept nervously watching my cousin, afraid that something might be wrong. Actually, I tasted it before bringing it over, and it seemed to have a strange taste, but my cousin didn't seem to notice. She finished it in a few minutes, and those few minutes felt like an eternity. The wait was agonizing. One moment I was thinking, what if it didn't work? The next I was fantasizing that it did. About half an hour later, my cousin kept yawning and said she was going to rest. Usually, I was carrying her on my back at this time. I heard her take off her clothes and fall asleep. Soon, I could hear her even breathing. Another half hour passed, and I heard everyone else asleep. I tried calling my cousin, but there was no response. I went over and nudged her, but she still wouldn't wake up. The medicine had worked! I was so excited. I wrapped the lamp in paper to dim the light, locked the door, and turned off the light. I stripped down to my underwear. I hesitated for a moment, then turned off the lamp too, still a little scared. I tried calling my cousin's name a few more times, but there was no response, just a muffled hum. I crawled straight into my cousin's bed, finally able to taste her. I hugged her tightly, kissing her indiscriminately. What I wanted to kiss most was her cherry-red lips; they were so incredibly sexy. In the darkness, my lips met hers, a healthy scent intoxicating me. My mouth easily enveloped her lips, sucking. My hand slipped under her bra; her breasts weren't large, just the right size for my hand to grasp. They were so soft, the nipples so small. Back then, I wasn't mature enough to know how to appreciate them. My other hand impatiently moved down, her skin smooth and slippery, directly touching the place I longed for most, through her panties. That feeling is unforgettable, truly. Through her panties was a soft expanse. No, I wanted to look at my cousin. I turned on the bedside lamp. In the dim light, my cousin was unbelievably beautiful.I thought she was like a goddess. Her lingerie was that flesh-colored set I always saw, my favorite. How could her two alluring, long legs be so beautiful? I didn't even bother to unhook her bra; I just spread her long legs wide, kneeling between them. I smelled through her panties—a scent that wasn't unpleasant at all. I inhaled deeply, and finally, I could see it. My tongue gently licked through her panties, slipping inside the edge. My tongue touched a warmer spot. I pulled her panties aside... Ah... Even now, thinking about that scene makes my heart race. She was so beautiful. Back then, I didn't understand much; my cousin's vulva was hairless and the color... Black, truly top-tier. For years afterward, amidst the hustle and bustle of the pleasure quarters, I never saw such a beautiful vulva. I licked it immediately. The inside of that little slit was pink. My tongue licked inside, and I was thrilled. I took the entire vulva into my mouth, my tongue flailing wildly. My experience wasn't great, but there was definitely some fluid flowing out. I saw my cousin's older sister seemed aroused, like she was dreaming. I took off my underwear; my penis was already rock hard. I'd slept with two girls from the streets before, and my penis wasn't very long. These days, everyone says 18 or 9 centimeters; mine was only 12 or 13 centimeters, a little thick. I didn't take off my cousin's underwear, but pulled it down, my penis pressing against the flesh... It was so hot inside, like I was squeezing in. It felt incredibly hot and tight. I spread my cousin's legs wide, watching my penis disappear completely inside her. It felt so good. After I was fully inside, I saw my cousin's mouth slightly open. I leaned down and kissed her passionately, until I was fully inside her. Only then did I remember I hadn't noticed her breasts. I slowly thrust in and out, unhooking her bra. Her two white breasts were so alluring, with dark red nipples. I took one into my mouth and sucked on it while my penis throbbed. I could clearly feel my cousin's body reacting. Being young, I ejaculated in less than two minutes, shooting inside her. At the time, I didn't really understand. I didn't pull out; I was still very excited. In less than half a minute, my penis got hard again. That's when I noticed that my cousin's panties were wet. I didn't know if it was my semen or vaginal fluid, probably both. Only then did I worry about leaving a mark. I quickly pulled out my penis and took off my cousin's panties. My cousin was completely naked. Her plump vulva reflected the glistening vaginal fluid and semen under the light. I spread her long legs and thrust my penis in hard again. This time, after insertion, I was like a pile driver, thrusting very quickly. The combination of my penis and my vulva actually made a squelching sound, mixed with the sound of my thrusting and hitting flesh. It was truly the most beautiful sound in the world. I didn't have much experience back then, basically just one position. When I reached orgasm, I held my cousin tightly, my mouth on hers, thrusting deeply inside. At the moment of ejaculation, I clearly felt a spasm inside her vagina. That night, I had sex with her one last time. The second and third times went pretty well. After the passion subsided, all that remained was deep self-reproach and lingering fear. My cousin's genitals were a mess from my actions, but the satisfaction and happiness were unparalleled. Worry and fear followed. I wiped her down there several times with a wet towel. Ironically, after everything was cleaned up and she was dressed, I was almost asleep when I was woken up by worry and fear, and ended up wiping her down again. Thinking about it now, I wasn't even worried about waking up. My intelligence at that age was truly...

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I still vividly remember the heart-pounding feeling I had when I slept with my older cousin during my adolescence.

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