Fat Waves Fight Spring

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Chapter One: A Spring Dream on the Dragon Bed in the Deep Palace; A Chopping Board at the Inn Eradicates the Root of Evil .

The poem reads: " 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Indulging

in a carefree southern journey, I knew no calamity would arise beside me.

Had I not been a truly blessed emperor, I would have long since lost my empire in a dream." Another poem reads: 　　"Two new looks I hadn't yet encountered, for the dragon's nature is inherently restless and difficult to control . 　　The spring breeze, naturally for the sake of the emperor, blew open two boudoirs in one night. " 　　Both poems recount anecdotes about the carefree emperor, because two beautiful women met him in a dream and later entered the palace to serve him. 　　Who was this carefree emperor? He was Emperor Zhengde of the Ming Dynasty. 　　This Zhengde was naturally romantic and unrestrained. Upon ascending the throne, the world was at peace. Weary of governance, he indulged in pleasure-seeking. He was known as the carefree emperor. Therefore, although the inner palace had three thousand beauties, none were pleasing to the eye, and he was often depressed. 　　One day, after court, with nothing to do, he lay down on his dragon bed. He awoke in a daze and, after walking only a few steps, found himself in a vast world, surrounded by vibrant colors and endless reds and greens. He strolled to another place, where two flowering trees stood. One tree had blossoms as white as jade, the other with bright red flowers. There, he saw two stunningly beautiful women, gracefully approaching. One, with light makeup, possessed a spirit as pure as jade; the other, with heavy makeup, was as slender and elegant as a flower. 　　Their faces were like lotus blossoms, their brows 　　delicately furrowed, their eyes like pools of autumn water, their hair flowing gently. Their hair was lightly veiled, their lotus-like feet reflected the water's edge. They 　　were like Xi Shi reborn, Wang Zhaojun reincarnated. 　　Zhengde, seeing this, was overjoyed, his body trembling with pleasure. He then stepped forward and said with a smile, "I am feeling lonely and bored, and I wish to share my bed with two beauties. What do you think?" 　　The two beauties replied in unison, "I'm afraid we are not fortunate enough to enjoy such a thing. If Your Majesty does not mind our ugly appearance, we are willing to serve Your Majesty." Seeing that the two beauties had agreed, Zhengde was already aroused and could not restrain himself. He then said to the two beauties, "Since you beauties have shown me such affection, why not go to the balcony together?" 　　After saying this, he grabbed the two beauties with both hands. The two beauties could not resist Zhengde's embrace and cried out, "Your Majesty, let go! " Zhengde was unwilling to give in, and the two beauties had a plan. They shouted, "Someone is coming from over there!" Zhengde looked around, but there was no one there. Taking advantage of this opportunity, the two beauties suddenly pushed him away, and Zhengde lost his footing and cried out, "Oh no!" He woke up with a start, realizing it was all a dream. 　　Emperor Zhengde lay lazily on his dragon bed, repeatedly exclaiming, "Wonderful! Wonderful!" A eunuch, hearing the commotion, rushed in and asked , "Your Majesty, why are you drenched in a cold sweat?" 　　Zhengde replied, "I dreamt I was enjoying a beautiful dream with two beauties when someone suddenly pushed me awake." 　　The eunuch said, "Since you had the dream, there must be these beauties. Why doesn't Your Majesty summon the Hanlin Academy to inquire? Then issue an edict ordering an envoy to select them to serve Your Majesty in the palace." 　　Zhengde said, "In my haste during the dream, I didn't ask about the beauties' names or hometowns, which is quite infuriating. But I 've heard that in the northern lands of Hebei, fine horses are born; and in ancient capitals, beautiful women gather. These two beauties must have been born in Suzhou, Hangzhou, Yangzhou, or Chaozhou. I'll have to travel around someday and try to find their traces." Little did anyone know that these words , spoken unintentionally by Zhengde, would be taken to heart by the listener! The eunuch took these words to heart, but they inadvertently caused a great deal of trouble— but that's a story for another time. 　　This eunuch was from Nanyang, Henan. His father was Zhang Yi, and his mother was Chen. Zhang Yi made a living selling medicinal herbs and amassed a fortune, but the couple were over forty and had no children. One day, Zhang Yi went to Cangzhou, Hebei, to buy herbs. Passing through a desolate mountain, he found an abandoned baby, fair-skinned and with delicate features. Zhang Yi took him in and adopted him as his son, naming him Zhang Da. 　　Several years passed quickly, and Zhang Da grew up, frivolous and mischievous, quick-witted and eloquent. He excelled at chess, pitch-pot, gambling , and football. At seventeen, Zhang Yi died, and Chen spoiled him even more. He neglected his duties and indulged in idle wandering. When he was eighteen, Chen also died, and Zhang Da became even more dissolute, gambling and drinking without restraint. Within a few years, their family fortune was gone. He had even sold his dwelling, leaving him penniless. 　　Remembering his cousin Zhang Jun, he decided to seek refuge there and try to rise in the ranks. 　　Zhang Jun was a second-class soldier, now holding the official position of Minister of Personnel. He was Zhang Yi's cousin and Zhang Da's uncle. Zhang Da and Zhang Yi were quite close. Zhang Jun had previously returned home due to troubles, and later moved his family to Suzhou. His family was wealthy, and Zhang Da hoped for their assistance, so he packed his bags and set off. 　　Traveling day and night, he arrived in Suzhou and sought an inn to rest. Asking the innkeeper, he learned that Minister Zhang's house was on Tongren Street. That evening, he ate a hearty meal and slept. 　　The next morning, after breakfast, Zhang Da prepared his visiting card and went to Zhang's residence. He explained to the gatekeeper, who said, " Master is not home." Zhang Da pleaded with the gatekeeper to drop the card into the inner chambers. 　　His wife, Lady Li, upon seeing the visiting card, thought, "Zhang Yi's family is wealthy; Zhang Da must be bored and dissolute here." She then sent the card into the inner hall. 　　After Zhang Da finished his bow and sat down, Madam Li had tea served. She said, "My dear nephew, you've been managing household affairs at home. What brings you here?" 　　Zhang Da paused slightly, then replied, "My parents have both passed away, and our family business is in decline. I hope you can write a letter for me to take to the capital , so I can ask your uncle for help in finding a livelihood." 　　Madam Li said, "Your uncle is an upright official and would never recommend anyone lightly. Going to the capital will likely be of no use to you." She then instructed a servant to bring out some silver and said to Zhang Da, "This is ten taels of silver. Please use it for your travel expenses home. Do not go to the capital." 　　Zhang Da said unhappily, "If you refuse to write a letter to help me, and I'm not joking, you can take the silver back." Having said this, he left without saying goodbye, sullenly exiting the main hall. Madam Li was greatly alarmed, but that's another story. 　　Now, Zhang Da left the Zhang residence, filled with resentment, muttering, "If I ever gain power, I will surely find a way to take revenge ." Suddenly , he changed his mind, thinking, "When they gave me the silver earlier, I was too proud to take it. Now I'm penniless and have no relatives to turn to. I might as well drown myself to avoid this hardship." At this point, his mind was filled with despair, and he left the city, anxiously searching for a stream to end his life. 　　Reaching a desolate outskirts, he encountered a Taoist priest, with white hair and a long beard, dressed in a blue cloth robe, waving a staff from side to side, his spirit remarkably clear. 　　The priest said bluntly, "You must not take your own life! In the future, you will surely enjoy boundless wealth and honor." 　　Zhang Da replied, "...""Since you know I intend to commit suicide, you must understand my suffering. Why speak of wealth and honor?" 　　The Taoist laughed, "I know the past and future, how could I not know your grievances? Why not castrate yourself and go to the capital to become a eunuch, then you can enjoy all the glory." 　　Zhang Da said, "If I am castrated, won't I die? Besides, I have no money for the journey, how can I go to the capital?"

The Taoist priest took out a packet of powdered medicine and a pill from his person and gave it to Zhang Da, saying, "Take this medicine back to the shop

. First, take a piece of tile, a bottle of wine, and some charcoal. Write a note on a piece of paper and place it on the table for the shopkeeper to see.

Say that if I cut off my penis, you can place it on the tile, fan the charcoal fire to burn it until charred, grind it into a fine powder, mix it with a

pill, mix it with wine, and drink it down to stop the pain. Quickly apply this powder to the wound to stop the bleeding immediately. After a few days of recuperation, you will naturally

recover. I will also give you fifty taels of silver for your travel expenses." After saying this, he handed the silver and medicine to Zhang Da. Zhang Da accepted it and bowed

to the ground, saying, "I humbly request your name so that I may repay your kindness in the future."

The Taoist priest helped Zhang Da up and said loudly, "My name is Li Taibai. I travel the world and do not seek repayment. If you achieve success in the future

, please do not harm any living beings. I will be deeply grateful for your kindness." After speaking, he transformed into a light breeze and disappeared.

Zhang Da knew it was Venus who had given him this guidance, and that good things would surely come his way. He immediately bowed in gratitude. He then returned to the city and found

an inn to stay in.

Having made up his mind, Zhang Da took a square tile and prepared some liquor ash, wrote a note, and placed it on the table.

He approached the innkeeper and said, "I just bought a hot duck head on the street; could I borrow a knife and anvil?"

The innkeeper said, "Why don't you bring it over and let me cook it?"

Zhang Da replied, "I can cook it myself; no need to trouble yourself." He then took the knife and anvil into the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. The innkeeper,

suspicious, noticed Zhang Da's tear-stained eyes, which didn't seem like he'd been drinking. He wondered what the knife and anvil were for, so he secretly

peeked through the crack in the door. Suddenly, he saw a blazing fire in the stove, a tile on top, the knife and anvil placed on a chair, and his trousers unfastened,

revealing his dark, erect member.

The shopkeeper, bewildered, saw Zhang Da lift the object with his left hand, place it on the table, and then cut it off with a knife in his right.

The shopkeeper was about to break down the door and shout when, with a loud crash, the object fell to the ground.

Zhang Da, enduring the pain, took a pinch of medicine powder, applied it to the wound, and collapsed to the ground, blood gushing forth. The shopkeeper cried out in despair

! He rushed into the room and found Zhang Da's face ashen, unconscious. He hurriedly called his helpers in, saying, "This man has done nothing to harm us,

yet he cuts off his genitals to kill us. It's a matter of life and death! What should we do?" The waiter

suddenly noticed a piece of paper on the table and understood the method.

The shopkeeper, helpless and fearing for Zhang Da's life, had

no , burned them black, then ground them into a fine powder. He also crushed some pills, mixed them with liquor, and forced Zhang Da to swallow the mixture after prying open his teeth.

Zhang Da's face gradually reddened, and the bleeding stopped.

The two helped each other onto the bed. After a while, Zhang Da moved his limbs and cried out, "It hurts so much!"

The shopkeeper complained, "I have no grudge against you, why did you do this to harm me?"

Zhang Da said, "You don't know my suffering. Even if I die, it will only cost you a cheap coffin. No one will hold me accountable for

my death, so don't panic."

The shopkeeper said, "What sin has a penis committed? Can cutting it off alleviate my suffering? What nonsense!" Although he said this,

he was truly afraid of causing someone's death. From then on, he took great care of Zhang Da.

A Taoist priest also applied medicinal powder and poultices, and after more than ten days of careful care, Zhang Da finally recovered completely.

A few days later, Zhang Da had gradually recovered and thought, "I only have a dozen or so taels of silver on me. If I pay the inn tax,

I won't have much for travel expenses." He said to the innkeeper, "Thank you for your kindness in saving my life. But I have no way to borrow money for food and inn tax

. What should I do?"

The innkeeper, eager for him to leave to avoid trouble, said, "You can

send . Now that you're fully recovered, you can set off."

Zhang Da thanked him, packed his things, and left. It is truly a

scene of idyllic beauty: Traveling together, joy abounds; The fragrance of flowers stirs restless thoughts; Dreams stir the heart, but who cherishes the blossoms? Love, planted in the soil, brings joy.

How will his journey to the capital unfold? Let's find out in the next chapter.

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