Separation of lovers

page views:1 Publication date:2022-09-28

What I want to say this time is that the fantasy might really be coming to an end. After being discovered cheating and her own desire to separate, after several back-and-forths, this time it might really be over. These past few days, my lover and I have been chatting on WeChat every day, but only chatting. She doesn't want anything more with me, and the chats are quite enjoyable, never involving pornography. Our sex life used to be perfect, the most perfect of all the women I've slept with. One session could bring her to orgasm ten times (while her husband could only give her one). We've tried all sorts of things: positions, SM, outdoor sex, car sex, anal sex—nothing is off-limits. She's gentle and submissive by nature, exactly my type, and has a beautiful figure. These are the things I'm obsessed with. My thoughts are a bit jumbled. I've been talking to her on the phone almost every day these past few days, always on a landline, never using my cell phone because I'm afraid my wife will check our accounts. We've had several serious talks, and she explained why she's so determined to leave me this time. Because I can't give her what she wants. She wants to see me, chat, eat, and help each other with life, not to meet secretly and have rushed sex like in a soap opera. She said she doesn't want to "waste" any more time. Her image has also crumbled a bit. Although I understand her needs, her insistence on having a "ideal lover" still disappoints me. She said I can't give her what she wants and she doesn't want to keep this entanglement. This thought has been brewing for six months, during which we've been on and off, and she's struggled with it for a long time. She also mentioned a classmate who has a great lover, the kind of relationship she's "in," and she envies him. Faced with her resolute decision, I can only end it. It wasn't exactly my choice to separate; I guess I'm not a manly man or responsible enough. There's some relief, but mostly it's lingering attachment and reluctance. Two weeks ago, we even had sex in a car. I asked her why she was so determined to break up with me, and why she still did it? (That time, I told her I had something to say, but she didn't understand. She was very proactive in having sex with me in the car.) She said maybe she was out of her mind. Later, when I suggested meeting again, she firmly refused. I said I would miss her and wait for her to call me so we could meet, although she said it definitely wouldn't happen. I don't know if we'll ever meet again. It's like putting a period on a story, not quite a full stop. At least I'm not thinking about being with her every day anymore. But her coldness and determination in these last few chats made me feel icy. She still likes to chat with me on WeChat, like a normal friend (she also said she treats me like a normal friend, and there's nothing special about chatting with me. I asked if she still liked me, and she said not at all. I believe her, and I'm very disappointed). I don't know if we'll ever meet again. Unfortunately, and luckily, we're colleagues, and we see each other every day. Every time we meet, my heart skips a beat! Sigh. Goodbye, my lover. I'm going back to my family. My wife is wonderful, and so are my children. I wish you well, and I wish myself well too. I hope you're doing well, because I love you, I love you so much! Even if you find another man, I still wish you well—a bittersweet wish! [The End]

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Separation of lovers

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