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[A Woman's Mole] (07-12) Author: Bo Bo Xiong Yong 

    page views:1  Publication date:2023-03-23  
Author: Bobo Xiongyong
Word Count: 15072


(VII)

The start of the second year of university was also the time for new students to register for the new semester. Coincidentally, just like this time last year,
a light drizzle was falling from the sky.

The second-year students were responsible for welcoming the new students, and I met her, Feng Ye, a girl from Jiujiang.

That afternoon, I was sitting behind the long table in our department's reception area, feeling drowsy. At this moment, a soft, sweet
voice that gave me goosebumps rang out: "Senior, wake up!"

I stood up with a start and saw Feng Ye's round, doll-like face, her
height of just over 1.6 meters, her slender figure, and her graceful posture. However, her breasts were quite large, and
I wondered how this girl had developed such full breasts. Two hair clips, one white and one blue, were pinned to the left side of her
long, flowing , making her look even more cute and mischievous.

Her father stood beside her with a smile, watching her with eyes full of affection.

I helped her complete the formalities, and then I and her father helped her carry her things to her dormitory. Before leaving, her
father kept thanking me and insisted on having dinner with me.

I said, "Really, it's not necessary. It's what we second-year students should do." But he still held me back,
expressing his concern for Feng Ye. Because she was an only child, spoiled at home, he was very worried and hoped
I could help her with anything in her daily life.

I readily agreed, but I never imagined that helping her would involve taking care of her in bed…

Feng Ye's family must be well-off, judging from her clothes and daily necessities. She had so much luggage that it
was almost overflowing; I guess her mother wanted to pack everything for her to take with her.

Before leaving, we exchanged phone numbers. Well, finally, I earned my own money to buy a phone.

Feng Ye was very sweet-talking, calling me "senior" this and "senior" that, and she was also pretty, so I
always felt embarrassed to refuse when she needed help.

Not long after the start of the semester, one weekend, Feng Ye said she wanted to buy a bicycle, so I had to accompany her on the bus to the city.

A girl, not wanting a small women's bicycle, insisted on getting a big one with flat handlebars. On the way back, we were both
dumbfounded —the bus wouldn't let us in!

"Senior, can you ride back with me?" she said happily, as if she'd come up with a brilliant
solution.

I had a bit of a headache. Not only did I not know the way back, but I also had to ride almost 20
kilometers . Just thinking about it made me want to jump into the Yangtze River

. She sat sideways on the back seat, but immediately complained about the discomfort, so we had to go back and install a foam pad on the back seat.

"You're so light!"

"Yeah, less than 90 pounds!" she exclaimed loudly, hugging my waist.

I said being too thin wasn't good, and I should eat more and gain some weight.

Unexpectedly, she said, "So, Senior likes chubby girls..."

I was amused by her unexpected answer.

"Senior, do you have a girlfriend? Is she your chubby type?"

"..." She always brings up the most awkward things, making me increasingly annoyed. We were about to go uphill, so I gestured for
her to get off.

"Senior, I'm asking you a question!" she pressed relentlessly.

"We broke up. Besides, I don't like chubby girls. You're slim and perfect..."

"Oh, why did you break up? You didn't like her anymore?"

"Why would I not like her? Could it be that she didn't like me?"

"Tch, although you're not exactly handsome, you're a really nice person. How could anyone not like
you..." she said, looking at me very seriously.

"..." I couldn't quite understand her logic; she was such a naive girl.

"Don't talk nonsense if you don't understand!" I could only interrupt her like that. "

I'm not a little kid. I understand everything you understand, hmph!" she said proudly, puffing out her ample chest.

"Oh, then what do you understand?" I asked, both amused and exasperated.

"I've been in relationships too, and I've even kissed and been intimate. It's nothing special, isn't it?" she said
dismissively lips.

"..." I scrutinized her petite, slender figure, then stole a glance at her enormous breasts
, and couldn't help but sigh. Could it be that just one year apart, the flowers of our nation have all matured so early?

Back in high school, I was too embarrassed to even look at girls, let alone have the courage to date...

Seeing my puzzled look, she launched into a long, detailed account of her glorious dating history. Well,
according , she had indeed dated, held hands, kissed, and touched breasts, but hadn't had the chance to take it any further
. Suddenly, I felt like I'd wasted my life. The image of that figure I could only admire from behind—long, straight hair, a graceful waist, and, most alluringly, shapely buttocks—

seemed to float before my eyes . The girl I had a crush on
for all three years of high school
, but I never had the courage to confess to her. I didn't even know if she knew me, her classmate for three years
, or if she knew I had always secretly liked her. I even treasured her signature in the graduation yearbook as my most precious
keepsake…

“Senior, did you get dumped?” she asked, turning back to gossip about me after telling her own story
.

“Well, sort of.”

“Yes or no, how can you just call it sort of?” she corrected me seriously.

“Oh, I see,” I said after thinking for a moment.

“She really didn’t know how to appreciate it. Girls like that aren’t worth it, hmph…” as if she was the one who got dumped
, not me.

“…”

“Is she pretty? Do you still like her?”

“She’s pretty, I like her quite a bit, I sometimes think about her…”

“How pretty? Is she prettier than me?” she said, puffing out her chest confidently.

"Okay, she's not as pretty as you, especially not as big-breasted..."

"Senior, I didn't expect you to be such a lecher!" She covered her mouth and chuckled, but didn't seem embarrassed at all
; instead, she looked quite pleased.

I realized that Feng Ye and the dorm leader were the same kind of person—chatterboxes. She didn't stop talking the whole way,
and she dug up all my pitiful romantic history halfway through the journey. For the rest of the way, she dredged up every little thing about me from childhood to adulthood
.

She wasn't as well-behaved and cute as she seemed on the surface; on the contrary, sometimes her words were sharp and her mischievousness was enough to give you
a headache .

After having dinner at a restaurant outside the school, on the way back, Feng Ye asked me, "Senior, my
birthday , can you celebrate with me?"

I said, "Sure, what kind of birthday present do you want?"

She said, "I'll think about it and tell you later."

(VIII)

I had long forgotten my promise to Feng Ye until one evening in October when I received a call from her.

She said that her birthday was the day after tomorrow.

I remembered that she had invited me before, so I asked with a smile, "What kind of birthday present do you want?"

She said, "I want a bouquet of flowers."

I said, "No problem."

She happily said to call me the day after tomorrow and then hung up.

That afternoon, I didn't have any classes, so I took the bus to buy a bouquet of flowers, white lilies, which I felt were
perfect for a birthday theme and matched her perfectly.

It was the first time in my life that I had bought flowers for a girl. Although she wasn't my girlfriend, I still felt a little awkward.
On the bus ride home, I wanted to bury my face in my crotch; it was so embarrassing.

What was even more embarrassing was that walking around campus with a bouquet of flowers, I got a lot of stares. I had no choice but to find a corner and
call Feng Ye, telling her to come out quickly.

Unexpectedly, she

was still in class. When she came over after class, I found myself surrounded by her dorm girls. "

Senior, you're so romantic…

Feng Ye, you're so unfair! You found a boyfriend and didn't tell us! You kept it so well hidden…

Yeah, yeah, if we hadn't eaten together today, we wouldn't have known…"

I was about to explain when Feng Ye unexpectedly took my arm, smiling sweetly at
the other three girls, "It's not too late to know now, hehe…"

And just like that, I was forced into a relationship. Yes, forced into a relationship.

Later, I found out that all three girls in Feng Ye's dorm had boyfriends, and they talked on the phone every day, making
her feel very down. Since she happened to be closest to me, I was presented as her "boyfriend."

I think, if it weren't for me, perhaps another me would have been packaged and presented by Feng Ye in the same way.

That night, I drank more than a bottle of beer for the first time and staggered back to school. Feng Ye accompanied me
on a walk around campus to sober up. Under the streetlights by the lake, she asked me, "You won't blame me today, will you...?"

I looked at her bleary-eyed and pretended to be angry, saying, "Of course I will! Tell me, how are

you going to make it up to me?" "What do you think? How about this?" she said, tiptoeing and giving me a light kiss on the cheek.

I pulled her close and lowered my head to kiss her lips fiercely. She responded skillfully, our
tongues quickly intertwining.

"I'm your girlfriend now!" she said, her eyes glistening with tears, like
stars in the night sky.

"But I feel like I've been raped..." I said with a wry smile.

"Hmph, do you feel like you've been taken advantage of?" she said, gently pinching the soft flesh of my arm.

"No, it just feels a little unreal..." I carefully organized my words. "You don't know
I'm an insecure person, a bit insecure. This kind of thing feels so sudden, do you understand?"

"I don't understand..." She blinked her long eyelashes, looking bewildered.

That night, back in the dorm, even after lying in bed, I was still a little dazed. That unreality made me very irritable.
Could I really be in love again?

I don't know what kind of feelings I have for Feng Ye? It doesn't seem to be the same kind of liking I have for Gu Xuan, more like
the kind of liking I have for my cousin?

...

I sighed and said to the other three, "I think I'm in love again..."

startling a flock of seagulls.

Of the four of us, the eldest and second eldest had girlfriends, the youngest spent all his time using my computer to download porn for studying, and
the four of us were still pure virgins. As we talked, the conversation drifted to sex. The eldest said he would definitely
sleep with his girlfriend next time he went home, the second eldest said he almost lost his virginity a couple of days ago during the National Day holiday, but he was just about to go into his girlfriend's dorm when she came back
...

We all cursed together, "What a beast, doing sex in someone else's dorm..."

Finally, the conversation turned back to me. The fourth brother asked, "Didn't you and Gu Xuan go out last time? Did you really not lose your
virginity?"

This was the nth time he'd asked me this question.

Every time I told him, none of the three of us believed me. In his later words, I was worse than an animal…

"Do you regret it?" the second brother asked.

"Hmm?" I thought hard for a moment and said, "I do regret it a little."

"Sigh, if it were me, I'd be kicking myself!" the eldest brother, that shameless guy, said.

After that, my mind was filled with Gu Xuan, and I finally drifted off to sleep. That night I had a wet dream,
dreaming that Gu Xuan and I were making love in bed, and when I woke up in the morning, my underwear was wet…

Feng Ye was a very clingy girl; I needed to be with her every night. Looking back now, I think
people in love are adorable, repeating almost the same things every day—eating together, studying, holding hands,
kissing and caressing in a dimly lit corner—and enjoying it immensely.

Feng Ye was a very bold girl. In the early winter on campus, she first
slipped her cold little hands into my crotch and vigorously masturbated me, finally ejaculating warm semen all over her palm.

On the tower on the low hill behind the school, she squatted down and gave me oral sex for the first time. My erect penis filled her little mouth
completely, and I still clearly remember the glistening saliva dripping slowly down her bright red lips and onto her
chest …

I also remember that on that tower, I first brought her to her climax with my hand. She moaned loudly and wantonly,
finally clamping her legs tightly around my hand, trembling and collapsing limply into my arms…

“Darling, I feel so good…” she whispered, her face flushed, leaning against me afterward.

“Haven’t you done this before?” I asked curiously, because I knew she was experienced, skilled at masturbation
, and excellent at oral sex.

“No, I’ve never let him touch me…” she said, biting her lip.

"I'm just a little curious..." I looked down at her luscious red lips, the corners still
bearing traces .

"Hmm? Curious about what?"

"Curious... never mind, it's nothing," I finally managed to hold back.

"Hmph, I know what you're curious about," she tilted her head back, the early winter sun shining obliquely on her
face , making me feel warm, just like the warmth I felt with my hand on her breast.

"You must be curious about how skilled I am, right?" she sighed, pressing her face against my chest.

"I don't want to talk about that. I can only tell you that I'm still a virgin..." she said, nuzzling her head against my
chest . "Don't be angry, okay?"

I smiled self-deprecatingly, but no sound came out.

"I'm not angry, and I have no right to be angry. After all, that was in the past..." I patted her
back .

"Yeah, you're the best!" she said, her voice as soft as if she were asleep.

(IX)

"The dorm is closed, what should we do?" Feng Ye shivered in the cold wind, her thin wool coat
unable to ward off the damp, cold air.

"Let's go out..." I held her tightly in my arms and walked out of the school.

In November 2006, on the night of the welcome party, Feng Ye and I went out for a late-night snack after the party. When we came back,
we found that the dorm was closed.

We settled in a small hotel near the school. The room wasn't big, just a bed, a table, and
an old TV, but it was clean. Most importantly, it had a private bathroom with hot water for showering.

It just seemed like it hadn't been occupied for a while; the room had a faint musty smell. The owner turned on the air conditioner for
us and then left.

After closing the door, we kissed passionately .

"Kiss me, kiss me hard!" she gasped, unbuckling my belt.

She had just performed that evening, and her wool skirt and black leggings were quickly ripped off her body
and tossed onto the floor.

As Feng Ye and I rolled naked onto the bed, her breasts were already slightly
red . She raised her sharp chin, biting her lip, and said to me with a dazed look, "Be gentle, okay?"

Her inner thighs were already a mess, the sparse hair wet with a sticky liquid, lying haphazardly
against her snow-white skin.

As I guided my penis and parted her labia with the glans, I suddenly noticed a mole on her left labia,
a very prominent one.

At that moment, I felt a sense of temporal disorientation; the image of that mole on her rounded chin flashed before my eyes—
the girl I had once deeply loved.

But my physical and emotional desires quickly overwhelmed me, and the owner of the mole on her chin vanished like a fleeting breeze
. The girl beneath me, panting softly, had already opened her heart and body, awaiting my
conquest .

Warm, sticky fluid smeared on my glans, glistening under the fluorescent light. The fluid
facilitated entry, until I encountered resistance, at which point she winced and whimpered softly,
"It hurts! Slower…".

I don't know if other men can control their emotions during their first time having sex. But I know for
sure that I couldn't control my own body. At that moment, my engorged, hard penis seemed to have a soul
and a mind, wanting only to keep pushing forward, forward, forward! I just wanted to go deeper and deeper!
I wanted to break through all obstacles and enter the warm, wet, deepest part!

With a painful scream, the glans tore everything apart, pushing relentlessly into her vagina until it
couldn't .

"Hiss..." Feng Ye gasped repeatedly, tears welling in her eyes.

"It hurts!" she cried, biting her lower lip tightly, trying to hold her breath, as if a single breath
would cause her to cry out in pain.

Her vagina was so tight that it was throbbing painfully from the gripping pressure on my penis. I couldn't thrust quickly—although my body
's instincts made me want to go in and out fast—I could only slowly withdraw my penis and then laboriously insert it.

I was like a pioneer, diligently cultivating this unfamiliar land.

Tears soaked the pillow, and my sobs were interspersed with barely audible groans.

"Does it still hurt?" I asked, kissing the tears off her cheek.

"Hmm, much better now, can you go slower?" She gripped my shoulders tightly with both hands, I could
feel her wanting to push me away, yet also seeming reluctant and lingering.

The crying had stopped sometime earlier, and the musty room was filled with lewd moans and the smell of
bodily fluids .

Feng Ye's breasts heaved with each thrust of my penis. Her once snow-white
breasts , now red from my grasping, were a mix of white and red, like frames from a film reel, quickly
connecting into an alluring image.

The long moans of "Mmm..." eventually turned into rapid, lewd cries of "Ahhh..."
In the warm, spring-like room, I was sweating profusely as I made my final thrust.

My first time ended quickly, perhaps less than five minutes, maybe only two or three,
but I experienced a pleasure I had never felt before, a pleasure completely different from that of using my hands or mouth,
a peak that could only be reached when completely under my own control.

I looked down at the milky white semen mixed with dark blood, slowly flowing from Feng Ye's vagina and
dripping onto the white sheets. A wave of fear washed over me.

"I hope she's not pregnant!" I murmured.

"Hmm?" she gasped, her eyes still closed, glistening with tears.

"You're not pregnant, are you…?" I asked again.

"How should I know!" she opened her eyes, frowning and scolding.

"I'll take the birth control pill tomorrow, it'll be fine…" she forced a smile.

She remained in the same position as when they had made love, her two snow-white thighs spread wide, the area around her thighs a
mess black pubic hair, milky white semen, dark red blood, and frothy discharge…

"Help me wipe it, it hurts."

I carefully wiped the mixture with a tissue, and once again saw the mole on her labia, very noticeable.

"You have a mole on your labia…"

"Really? I didn't know!"

"Hmm, it's on the left labia."

"Is it ugly?" She tilted her head back, trying to look down, but the movement pulled at her lower body, and
she gasped softly before lying back down.

"How could it be ugly? It's cute."

"Can you carry me to wash up?"

In the bathroom, I entered her body again. Hot water poured over us
, and my penis continued to penetrate her vagina.

She raised her not-so-full buttocks, her upper body pressed against the wall by me, her breasts
squeezed flat, releasing and compressing with each thrust…

“Please, slower, I can’t take it anymore!” she sobbed, giving me a sense of
conquest , and I pounded into her body even harder. Her

moans and pleas were like a potent aphrodisiac, making it impossible for me to control my desires, until Feng Ye
collapsed limp, onto the slippery floor. Only then did I wake from a dream, realizing I was somewhat bewitched.

My first taste of a woman's body had driven me to such madness.

“Waaah… you’re bullying me! It hurts… waaah, no more…” she writhed weakly
, trying to escape my ravaging.

“Baby, I’m almost there, just a little longer!” I grabbed her two snow-white buttocks and thrust
forcefully .

The semen was washed from her body onto the floor by the water, sticky and wriggling on the slippery floor,
much like Feng Ye who had struggled desperately under me just moments before.

I wrapped her in a bath towel and carried her to the bed. She buried her head in the pillow, but her snow-white buttocks and
slender legs were exposed outside the blanket. I gently stroked her buttocks, feeling that she was
limp and boneless.

"Why did it take you so long this time?" she finally caught her breath and asked lazily with a frown.

"Really?" I had no experience with this.

"Yeah, you almost killed me, it hurts so much!" she said, gently pinching my thigh.

"Only pain? No discomfort at all?"

"It felt good at first, but then I couldn't feel anything anymore..."

(10)

"No, no, it's dirty!" Feng Ye squeezed her thighs tightly and struggled desperately.

I forcefully spread her legs and lowered my head to kiss her swollen labia that I had fucked the night before. After just a few licks,
she went limp and quiet, letting me do whatever I wanted to her, though
the trembling of her inner thigh muscles betrayed her nervousness.

Her labia were very tender, with almost no melanin deposits. Her clitoris had somehow peeked out from between her labia
, shimmering with a bright light. My tongue gently touched her clitoris, and Feng Ye let out a soft "Oh,"
like a beautiful swan, suddenly arching her snow-white neck.

"I can't take it anymore, no more, I want you inside!" she cried, twisting her slender waist restlessly.
A few black pubic hairs brushed against my nose, making me want to sneeze.

"Is it good?" I asked, my mouth still holding her labia, my words muffled.

"So...so good, I can't take it anymore, it's so itchy inside, please come in, please!" she
said , pressing my head forcefully against her crotch with her hands.

Her labia, which had been pressed tightly together, were parted by my tongue. Her vagina was already a muddy mess,
and slightly cloudy fluid was swept from inside by my tongue onto her clitoris.

"Ah, deeper, oh... just like that, oh... so good..."

When my tongue pushed open the many peaks of her vaginal opening and entered the deep folds, she tore off her
mask of restraint, moaning loudly like a wildcat in heat, disregarding her image.

...

Feng Ye panted heavily, her eyes tightly closed, the tender flesh on her thighs still trembling irregularly. I knelt between her
parted thighs, wiping the sticky fluid from my chin with a tissue.

"So good... sigh..." she sighed with enjoyment, her slightly narrowed eyes glistening with tears.

She struggled to get up, lowered her head, and opened her small mouth to take my somewhat limp penis in, her tongue circling the glans.
I could almost feel the blood rushing to my penis.

"Ugh..." she gagged, her brow furrowed, her tongue pushing the hard glans outward.

"Is it good?" I gently stroked her soft hair, my lower body
moving back and forth in sync with her head.

"Oh, oh, um..." she looked at me with watery eyes, nodding vigorously.

The way she looked at me with those watery eyes while giving me oral sex gave me a
sense of conquest I'd never felt before, like an emperor surveying his empire from above, pointing out its grandeur.

Feng Ye was a girl with an inner allure; her outward innocence masked her inner slut. Her
shimmering eyes seemed to be another version of her, full of temptation, easily arousing the beastly desires within a man.

"Harder!" I roughly pressed her head down towards my crotch, my glans plunging deep into her throat,
reaching its deepest point amidst her whimpering.

Her beautiful face, streaked with snot and tears, held a pair of pitiful eyes looking at me with a mournful expression, as if
pleading, begging, begging for mercy.

"Sweetie, this feels good..." I wiped her tears while thrusting my penis forcefully.

After what seemed like an eternity, as pleasure surged, my glans plunged deep into her throat, spraying streams of semen down her
throat. She leaned against the edge of the bed, gagging violently, as if trying to vomit up the semen she had swallowed.

I poured a glass of warm water and placed it in front of her.

"Satisfied now..." she snuggled back into my arms, pinching my arm and scolding me fiercely.

"Heh..." I winced softly, feeling a pang of heartache as I looked at her red, tear-filled eyes.

"Kiss me..." she pouted, her moist red lips pursed as she leaned in, coaxing me.

Remembering the semen that had just entered her mouth, I felt a little nauseous and said, "Want to brush your teeth?"

"No! I want you to kiss me! I don't mind, why are you complaining? Kiss me..." she persisted,
climbing onto my chest and pressing her lips to mine.

There was a faint fishy smell, but it wasn't unpleasant.

After a long while, her lips left mine, and she chuckled as she asked, "Was it good?"

I knew what she meant, so I feigned anger and pinned her down, slapping her thigh and saying, "I'll
ask you if it tastes good!"

After a struggle, my glans finally found the entrance, parted her soft labia, and thrust hard into her
vagina.

"Ah! It's so big! Slower..." she whispered, frowning.

"Was it good?"

"No! Not at all!" she chuckled.

"Then I'll make it come out!" I threatened, kneading her breasts.

"No!" she cried, clinging tightly to me, afraid I would leave her at any moment.

"Hehe," I chuckled smugly.

...

"Harder, oh... darling, harder, it feels so good..." she whispered urgently in my ear.

"Hmm?" I stopped. "What are you doing, harder?"

"Thrust me harder! Don't stop, it feels so good, thrust me harder!" She seemed like a different person, wrapping
her legs around my waist and desperately pressing me down to her crotch. "How about I fuck you with my cock?" I don't know why I said it so crudely, but saying it

while fucking her made me feel even more excited. "Okay... fuck me harder, ah... darling, fuck me harder..." At this moment, Feng Ye was no longer the beautiful girl standing gracefully with an umbrella in the rain, but had become a seductive slut, moaning wildly. "How can you be so horny!" I said, thrusting hard into her vagina, grabbing her swaying breasts with both hands. "Ugh, fuck me harder, I'm not horny, I feel so good... fuck me, fuck me, ahhh..." The sweat in winter is even more irritating. I lay on the bed, panting, watching Feng Ye lean against the pillows. A thin stream of sweat trickled down her cleavage and gathered in her sunken navel. The warm air from the air conditioner still carried a faint musty smell, occasionally mixed with a strong hormonal scent, making it hard for me to breathe. I gasped for breath, my eyes occasionally glancing at Feng Ye's inner thighs. Sparse pubic hair was covered in white fluid, her swollen labia slightly parted, revealing the tender flesh inside her vagina. Milky white semen was occasionally squeezed out of her vagina —her other little mouth, its opening and closing possessing a unique charm. Her labia parted to the sides, obscuring the mole, which I couldn't see from my angle. What a lewd scene! Under the hotel owner's lewd gaze, we checked out. "I don't like that guy! He's so sleazy, we're not coming to his place again!" Feng Ye pouted angrily at the hotel entrance. "You have to take responsibility for me!" She quickly cheered up, hooking her arm around mine, rubbing her head against my chest, and looking up at me earnestly. "Yeah, of course!" I chuckled, pinching her nose. "So, shouldn't you call me wife now?" she asked seriously. "Huh?" I shuddered. What was this all about? How old was she, already wanting to be my wife? "What? You don't want to?" she immediately looked like she was about to burst into tears. "Why should I call you wife? Isn't it better to call me Xiao Ye?" "No, that's what everyone calls me. You call me wife, I'll call you husband..." she said, still with a serious expression. I struggled to open my mouth, but couldn't bring myself to say those two words. "Hmph, I'm ignoring you!" she huffed and walked away. "Wife," my voice was barely a whisper. "Hehe, what did you call me? I didn't hear you clearly..." She immediately stopped and turned around with a smug smile. "Wife..." "You have to take responsibility for me!" she said again on the way. "Yeah, I'll take responsibility!" I replied absentmindedly, my eyes searching for a pharmacy on the side of the road. Once again defeated by the meaningful look in the eyes of the middle-aged woman selling medicine, I grabbed a box of emergency contraceptive pills and fled. Only after watching Feng Ye take the pills did I feel relieved. "Honey, I miss you! Do you miss me?" Feng Ye would always say these words on the phone. "Honey, I miss your penis..." This was the prelude to Feng Ye wanting to go to a hotel for sex. "Honey, fuck me hard, I'm going to die..." This was when Feng Ye was enjoying being fucked. "Honey, who is she? Why does she keep texting you..." This was when she saw the notification from the female class monitor, and she got jealous. "Honey, why are you peeking at girls' butts again?" she complained, pinching my arm and pouting . As time went on, the novelty of lust wore off, and I suddenly felt a little tired, or rather, a little annoyed. I was used to living alone, and when another person entered my life and started caring about and interfering in everything, I felt like my soul was being tightly held, as if some force was always pushing me away . (XI) "Are you taking the bus home too?" During my sophomore year winter break, Gu Xuan stood smoothing her bangs as she spoke. "Yeah, you know, train tickets are hard to get..." I suppressed my excitement, trying to appear nonchalant . Only then did I realize that the force that kept reminding me and pushing me away from Feng Ye came from the attraction of the girl in front of me. She was like Mount Kilimanjaro rising abruptly from the African plains, her pristine white peak so noble and aloof, standing out from the crowd. The faint black mole on her chin caught my eye again. "How have you been lately?" she asked, looking somewhat haggard, her eyes lacking their usual sparkle, revealing weariness, her voice slightly hoarse. "Not bad, how about you?" I finally managed to tear my gaze away from her eyes, looking at the mole on her chin, and said softly. "Um…not bad…" she seemed hesitant, her gaze lowered to the slightly dirty floor. "Can I switch seats with you?" Gu Xuan asked the person next to her. The person seemed to be a student as well, knowing Gu Xuan's seat was in the front, and readily agreed. For a long time after the bus started moving, we remained silent. Silence is sometimes an attitude; it seemed we both wanted the other to speak first, yet we were both afraid the other would speak. This contradictory feeling was maddening, so I leaned against the window and tried to sleep. Perhaps because I had been so passionate with Feng Ye before leaving a couple of days ago, I was exhausted and fell asleep quickly. When I woke up, I felt a little heavy on my shoulder. Turning my head, I saw Gu Xuan sleeping soundly with her head on my shoulder. I couldn't help but think of this time last year, also on the way home, she was leaning on my shoulder, sunlight streaming through the car window, illuminating her face. I didn't have the heart to disturb her, hoping that this beautiful scene could last forever.




























































































































"When did you wake up?" She lazily opened her eyes, noticing me staring at her, and
a faint blush immediately rose to her cheeks.

"I just woke up too, it's okay, you can sleep a little longer if you're sleepy." I turned to look out the car window at the desolate wilderness,
the distant rolling hills, and the dark gray sun on the hills.

"I've slept enough..." she said shyly, getting up from my shoulder, "I don't know how I
fell asleep leaning against you..."

"Hmm?" I turned to look at her stroking her slightly reddened face, and said casually,
"I said it's okay, actually I was just thinking..."

"Oh? Thinking about what?" she asked, tilting her head, a slight crescent moon curving her lips.

"It was the same last year, except you were inside and I was outside."

"I..." She opened her mouth, her eyes reddening, and lowered her head, saying in a muffled voice, "I broke up."

"Oh."

Another long silence followed, the silence growing between them, until she nervously twisted
the hem of her down jacket and stammered, "Don't you want to ask me anything?"

"I don't want to ask..." I replied, feigning toughness.

"I heard you're dating again?"

"Yeah."

Then silence again.

I don't know how I got through those nearly ten hours, trying my best to maintain a distance from Gu Xuan, afraid that I wouldn't
be able to resist getting close to her, that I wouldn't be able to resist wanting to hug her. When we arrived in the county town around seven o'clock in the evening, it was already dark
. Under the streetlights at the station, she dragged her suitcase and silently followed me outside. The road

was a bit slippery from the recent snowfall, and the soles of my shoes made a squelching sound as I stepped on it, somewhat like
the sound of a penis being inserted into a slippery vagina.

To my surprise, I saw my cousin outside the station. She was covering her ears in the cold wind, stamping her feet occasionally.

"Guo Ying!" I was happy to see her and called out loudly.

"Brother, why are you so late?" She ran over, took the suitcase from my hand, and complained.

"The highway is slippery, there was a traffic jam." I reached out and touched the back of her head, which was covered by a hat, and said with heartache,
"What are you doing here? It's so cold, I could have gone home by myself!" "

Waiting for you! Hehe. Oh, by the way, my aunt and uncle are here too..." She pointed to the side.

Under the streetlight, a man and a woman stood there, my parents. My father's back was still so straight, but in the dim
light , I could vaguely see the gray hairs at his temples. My mother's eyes were a little red, and she was trying to smile.

This scene was so unfamiliar to me that I blinked hard, thinking I was seeing things.

But the resentment in my heart could not be faded, even after so many years.

There was no tearful scene. I took my cousin's hand and said, "Let's take a taxi back..."

"But, brother..." she said, noticing Gu Xuan beside me. She winked mischievously, poked my arm with
her finger , and whispered, "Brother, who's this? Your girlfriend?"

"..." I rolled my eyes at her and turned to Gu Xuan, asking, "How are you getting home?"

"I can get back by myself, a taxi is easy." Her gaze
shifted , full of surprise.

"Oh, this is my cousin Guo Ying. I've been staying at her house..." I regretted saying it immediately.
Why did I explain to Gu Xuan? She had nothing to do with me anymore. What right did she have to explain to me?

...

I stayed at my aunt's house that night. I could see the resentment in her eyes. During dinner, she kept saying that
her older sister had cried on the phone earlier, hoping I wouldn't be so willful anymore.

Willful—I refused to use that word to describe myself. The situation
could .

I wanted to retort, but my uncle kicked me hard under the table, while smiling and saying,
"Eat, eat... Your aunt made your favorite black carp, eat more."

I cursed him inwardly for being henpecked...

As I lay in bed drifting off to sleep, I suddenly received a text message from Gu Xuan.

She couldn't sleep and wanted to talk to someone, asking if it was convenient for me to call.

I said it was too late and everyone at home was asleep.

She could only ask me in the text message, "Are you still angry with me?"

I felt her question was a bit ridiculous, and I really wanted to throw my phone at her face. How could I not be angry? How could I
forgive her?

Perhaps she had been waiting for a long time without receiving my reply, so she sent another message: "I want to see you tomorrow, is that okay?"

I really couldn't resist her temptation. Although I kept telling myself not to agree,
my fingers uncontrollably typed two words: "Okay."

(12)

"What would you like to drink?" Gu Xuan asked. She took off her down jacket, revealing a black sweater, the kind that fit snugly
, outlining her rounded chest.

"Whatever."

"You always say 'whatever,' do you think I'm that casual?" she smiled, pursing her lips. She was still vaguely the same person she
always the mole on her chin was so familiar.

I rolled my eyes at her and said, "Coffee, you should have some too. It's too cold, don't drink anything cold."

"Okay, wait a minute."

Snowflakes were falling outside the window, and because of that, the shop wasn't crowded; it was very quiet. The warm air from the central air conditioning made
my head a little dizzy in the afternoon.

Soon she returned with two cups of coffee, gently pushing one towards me, resting her chin on her hand and smiling
at me, saying, "I've noticed you've gained weight..."

"Oh? Really?" I touched my face, feeling no change.

"Hmm, you probably can't tell yourself."

Two cups of coffee sat between us, steaming gently, creating
a romantic atmosphere on this winter afternoon.

The aroma of coffee mingled with her familiar scent, assaulting my senses. The rising steam
obscured view of her, but her bright eyes, like stars at dawn, still captivated me.

"What are you looking at!" she pouted.

"Ah..." I lowered my head and took a sip of coffee, trying to hide my embarrassment. "You've lost weight..."

"My mom said so too," she said softly, her voice tinged with sadness. A

moment of silence followed, and I felt incredibly awkward, unsure what to say. Finally, I spoke
, "Would you like to hear a story?"

"Sure!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands in delight.

"A long time ago..."

"Hehe, a long time ago again..." she said, resting her chin on her hands, her face beaming.

I ignored her and continued, "There was a person who had a father and a mother, but from a very young age, probably since he
could remember , he rarely received any care or attention. Back then, he only knew that his parents were away doing business, leaving early and
returning late, sometimes even traveling for work, leaving him alone at home most of the year.

Later, I heard from my aunt that he didn't speak until he was three years old, and before that, he was always considered mute. Hehe...

From a very young age, he played alone at home. He quickly grew tired of the toys at home, and soon after,
he accidentally entered his father's storage room, which was full of fun things. Hammers, chisels, screwdrivers, meters,
copper wire, pulleys, and even a gasoline generator! He was very happy; these things kept him entertained for a long time.

Although his parents would sometimes be home with him, it was rare. He still remembers when he was in elementary school,
his father teaching him to play the dusty violin and erhu on the wall. That period was one of the few
beautiful memories of his childhood, but unfortunately, it seems that later his father..." The factory went bankrupt, leaving behind a lot of debt, and his parents
came home even less often. He was only in junior high school, cooking his own meals every day and sleeping in his empty house at night…

He hated strangers because he was very insecure; he preferred to do what he liked quietly by himself. He
had few friends, and no girl even wanted to talk to him because his clothes were always dirty…

Sometime later, he developed a condition where his nose became congested, forcing him to breathe through his mouth, and he frequently had nosebleeds. It wasn't
until before the high school entrance exam that his condition became so severe that his teachers were alerted, and his parents finally took him to the hospital for a checkup. After visiting several hospitals, they
discovered he had a tumor. After the exam, the tumor was removed at a hospital in Beijing. The attending physician, looking at
his thin and short frame, told his parents that any further delay would have been disastrous! The tumor had been growing, constantly compressing
his brain and inhibiting the secretion of growth hormone; otherwise, he wouldn't be so short at his age…

From then on, he harbored a deep resentment towards his parents. Even before entering the operating room, he… He stubbornly
pushed away his father, who was helping him up, and looked at him with a cold smile...

After starting high school, he boarded at his aunt's house near the school. His aunt had a beautiful cousin, and the two
quickly became inseparable. He felt that his cousin was very approachable, unlike other girls who always looked down on him, so
he liked to tell her many things. His aunt treated him very well, taking care of him like a mother. He no longer had to
cook for himself every day, no longer had to wear dirty clothes, and no longer had to be ridiculed by his classmates.

However, he couldn't change his inferiority complex. He became increasingly withdrawn at school, and even with
the girl he had a crush on, he only dared to secretly watch her back, let alone confess his feelings.

After the college entrance examination, he secretly applied for a student loan and found a work-study
job at school. To earn money, he tutored and handed out flyers every week.

In college, he met a girl, a very beautiful girl... "

I paused, feeling a little thirsty, took a sip of coffee, and continued to look down. He said, "That girl helped him
hand out flyers. Knowing he rarely ate meat, she always made sure to get extra food, saying she couldn't eat that
much. He wanted to refuse her care because he was actually a very proud person, and often
felt it was a form of charity. But in the end, he couldn't refuse because he felt the warmth of home. He
couldn't even remember the last time his mother had served him food.

The reserved and introverted boy could only keep all of this to himself, not even daring to tell the girl, 'I like
you!'

Until one night, a sudden downpour occurred, and he and the girl took shelter under the eaves.
The girl 's clothes were soaked, and she shivered. Finally, at her request, he hugged her to keep warm.

He was so happy; he felt that from that moment on, the girl was his girlfriend because they hugged.

Downstairs in the dormitory, the girl waited in vain for him to say 'I like you.' Only afterward did he realize
how foolish he had been..."

"Don't say anymore!" Gu Xuan across from me seemed to be crying. I looked up at her.

The coffee on the table had gone cold, and there was only a thin, transparent air between us. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and
her beautiful eyes were filled with tears.

I ignored her, stirring my coffee as I continued, "During his freshman year of college, he went out with a girl and they
stayed together that night. They kissed passionately, and when he was about to go inside, he suddenly got scared and backed away. He
was afraid that the warm feelings he had for the girl would suddenly shatter, afraid that he wouldn't be able to protect and
take care of her, and even more afraid of something called responsibility, because he had lacked that kind of responsibility since childhood


He bastardly told the girl that he wasn't good enough for her.

So the girl left him…"

"Waaah, please stop!" she grabbed my hand, knocking over the cup, spilling coffee all over
the table.

"I don't know, I really don't know it's like this, waaah…" she cried so hard that
curious glances came from afar.

"Don't cry, don't cry," I patted her hand, wiping away her
tears across the coffee-splattered table.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so stubborn, I shouldn't have been so angry, I... sob sob," she
kept shaking her head, biting her lower lip.

"Okay, it's all in the past. I've said everything I wanted to say, and you know everything you wanted to know. It's okay,
don't cry, it's not good if others see."

"Sob sob, I don't care, I just want to cry, I hate myself..." She turned her tear-streaked face to
the window, frantically wiping away her tears.

After some time, she calmed down, her eyes red, and said, "Why didn't you tell me these things back then?
Why didn't you say anything that day on the playground?"

"Which day?" I asked, puzzled.

"The day military training ended..." she said, lowering her head awkwardly.

"Oh, that day..." I remembered the boy who called her "Xuanxuan," and
her hand that was in his.

"I don't know what to say. Seeing you holding hands with someone else hurts me... I have so much to say to you,
but in the end, I can't say anything. You know I'm really bad with words."

She chuckled and said, "You're bad with words?" After a moment, she immediately pouted and said, "Yeah, I really am."
" Sometimes I feel like kicking you a few times to vent my anger, you're such a blockhead!"

Her tear-streaked face didn't diminish her sneer in the slightest; like a peach blossom after a downpour,
it only made her look more alluring and beautiful.

"You… where's your girlfriend?" she suddenly asked, feigning nonchalance.

I paused, looking into her eyes, unsure how to answer.

"She went home too," I said, rubbing my nose.

"How's she?"

"Yeah, she's doing well," I replied casually, afraid she'd continue the conversation, so I immediately
asked , "Haven't you guys had any get-togethers lately?"

"Yeah, in a couple of days, a few haven't gone home yet. What about you?" "Heh, they invited me too, but I think I'll pass. I didn't have many friends those past few years, I'd feel uncomfortable

going ." Her eyes reddened again, as if she remembered the story I'd just told. I checked the time and suggested we go for a walk; it was too stuffy inside. The snow seemed to be falling heavily, quickly covering the melted ground with a thin layer. "It's rare to see this much snow in NJ..." Gu Xuan said, her scarf wrapped around her neck, her voice muffled. Her black boots crunched on the snow. "Well, it's in the South, maybe it started snowing there after we left yesterday." "Ouch!" She slipped, grabbing my arm in a panic, almost making me fall. We managed to steady ourselves by holding onto a lamppost, then looked at each other's disheveled state and burst into laughter. She didn't let go of my arm; I walked forward, while she tugged at my coat sleeve like a little follower. I stopped, saying helplessly, "Aren't your hands cold? Besides, it's not good if others see!" "I don't care, I want to!" she pouted, then her eyes lit up, and she smiled sweetly, "You're right, my hands are cold, feel them if you don't believe me..." She then took my hand, the icy touch making me shiver involuntarily. "Your hands are still warmer..." she said, pursing her lips. In the midst of the swirling snowflakes, I held her hand, gripping it tighter and tighter, our bodies drawing ever closer until she gently nestled into my embrace, murmuring, "So warm, such a familiar scent..."

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