【A Woman's Mole】(01-06) Author: Bo Bo Xiong Yong

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Author: Bo Bo Word
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Prologue

Years later, I saw Gu Xuan again at her wedding. I sat in the audience watching the newlyweds,
bathed in soft lighting. Gu Xuan was beautiful that day, the brightest star of the night.

The faint mole on Gu Xuan's chin gave me a feeling of yesterday, as if not long ago she
was still kneeling in front of me, her red lips enveloping my penis, a faint black mole beside her lips…

I couldn't help but wonder when I had forgotten her? It seemed like a very, very long time ago,
my memory like an old film reel, playing out blurry images, perhaps many fragments
are damaged, but there are always many fragments so clear that they cannot be forgotten…

(I)

I used to be a very withdrawn person. I don't know when this personality started, but I know
why I was withdrawn.

I clearly remember that I never liked to talk when I was very young. I preferred to be alone in a corner doing
what I wanted. Even a screw, a pulley, or a hollow steel pipe could keep me engrossed for
an entire afternoon...

The only thing my family would show me was concern, oh, and that was my grades. After each exam,
my report card would linger in my father's hands for a few minutes. This former soldier would use his rough, scarred index finger
to carefully slide across the report card. Fortunately, most of the time, he was satisfied, and I had a period of relatively
free life, doing what I liked.

I don't know when I developed an illness, just a stuffy nose. At first, my family
thought it was a minor ailment, but it got worse over time—one night in junior high, I suddenly woke up because I had
a dream where warm water seemed to be constantly splashing on my face—I got up and wiped it, and my mouth,
cheeks, and pillowcase were covered in a sticky liquid, warm blood.

The following year, this happened more and more frequently, even bleeding from my nose during class…
My homeroom teacher called my parents to the school and berated them, saying they were only concerned with making money and
didn't even know their child was in such a state!

I still remember my homeroom teacher, his hair slightly gray, slamming his fist on the table…

I persevered until the end of the high school entrance exam, had surgery to remove the tumor, and everything was fine. I vaguely remember, however, that before
entering the operating room, I roughly pushed my father away and staggered towards the operating room myself. I squinted
and coldly watched his mouth, covered in white foam, twitch, giving me a sense of vengeful pleasure…

From high school onwards, I stayed at my aunt's house near the school, even after the college entrance exam.
After the exam, I had free time and thought about many things. I thought about my somewhat lonely and boring life before,
about the girl I secretly admired but could only secretly observe from behind, about the
little things still at home, about the big locust tree in front of my grandmother's house…

One day, my cousin, a high school freshman, suddenly asked me, "Brother, which school do you want to go to?" My homeroom teacher always said that if I wanted to
get into Tsinghua or Peking University, I should endure three years of hardship, and then it would be easy once I got to university…

My cousin’s words stunned me for a moment, and I suddenly realized that I couldn’t always live in the past.
I’m only 18 years old. What kind of life should I have in the future?

(II)

Thinking back to myself back then, I was a bit cute, a bit naive, and very concerned about saving face. After receiving the admission notice,
I studied it and then secretly ran home to get my household registration book, forged my father’s signature, and went to apply for
a student loan certificate by myself. Only my cousin knew about these things. One day at the end of August, my cousin saw me off alone.
Just as I was about to get on the bus, she stuffed all the spare change she had saved into my backpack, and said with red eyes, “Brother,
remember to call me when you get there. If possible, call your aunt and uncle too…”

I left without saying goodbye and arrived in an unfamiliar city in the slightly chilly autumn rain. After buying
the necessities , I only had less than 1,500 yuan left out of the more than 2,000 yuan I had. This was my future living expenses. So, I
applied for a maintenance-related work-study job. It only required working two or three nights a week, earning 400
yuan a month, enough to make ends meet with some savings.

I was very fortunate to have three great roommates. The eldest was a big, talkative guy from Northeast China; the second was from Northwest China,
with small eyes that always seemed a bit lecherous; the youngest was from Zhejiang, speaking in a soft, slightly effeminate voice…

I first met Gu Xuan at a hometown gathering shortly after the start of the semester. She happened to sit next to me, with short, ear-length
hair, a slightly round face, and a faint black mole on her left chin.

Unlike me, Gu Xuan was very outgoing, frequently talking to the reserved and shy me.

I had never drunk alcohol before, but at Gu Xuan's urging, I couldn't resist having two beers, and then I
slumped onto the table, my face flushed. By the end of the gathering, I had sobered up a bit, but I was a little embarrassed because I could only write the dormitory's phone number on an A4 sheet of paper

in my contacts . "Don't you have a phone?" Gu Xuan asked from beside me, her round cheeks flushed from the alcohol. "I don't have money to buy one..." I replied sheepishly. We walked side by side back to school, the cool night breeze easing my burning face. The moon was full, and the streetlights a dim, yellowish glow. Our dorms were quite close, separated by only one building. She stood downstairs, a slight smile playing on her lips. "I'm going up now, remember to keep in touch..." I watched her gracefully walk through the gate until her footsteps faded at the end of the corridor. I was incredibly busy as a freshman. Classes, part-time jobs, even weekend work— tutoring or handing out flyers—leaving me almost no time to think about anything else. The night before the National Day holiday, I received a call from Gu Xuan. This was the first time she had called —no, this was the first time we had contacted each other since we met... "Let's all go out and have fun tomorrow," her voice was clear yet slightly hoarse. I knew that the so-called "everyone" was probably my high school classmates who studied in the same city. I hesitated for a moment, thinking about the 100 yuan I'd earn a day distributing flyers during the National Day holiday, and finally refused, saying, "I have things to do during the holiday, you guys have fun." Gu Xuan was puzzled by my refusal, muttered "We'll talk about it later," and hung up. Around 2 PM the next day, I still had over two hundred flyers to finish. The weather was very hot, and the flyers I brought from school...

I'd already finished my water bottle, so I took a moment to buy some from the newsstand next door. As I tilted my head back to drink, someone
suddenly tapped me on the shoulder from behind, startling me so much I choked and coughed violently, bending
over.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, are you alright?" It was Gu Xuan's voice, gently patting my back
as apologized.

The flyers at my feet were soaked, but I didn't have time to talk to her; I quickly picked them up and wiped them clean on my clothes.

"You…you're handing out flyers?"

"Yeah…" I replied, head down, wiping the flyers.

Then there was silence, a silence that lasted for a while.

"How many do you have left? Let me help you!"

I looked up in surprise at her sun-drenched face.

"No need…what are you doing here? Weren't you guys out having fun?" I declined.

"I took the subway here to transfer, I went inside to use the restroom," she said, pointing to the Central Mall behind her.

"Then you should hurry up and go, they're still waiting for you."

"It's okay, I'll call and tell them to go first."

After hanging up, she "snatched" most of the flyers from my hand, winking mischievously, and said, "
Let's go ."

The sun was shining brightly that day, the sky was unusually clear, a blue like an indigo-dyed curtain.
The faint mole on her slightly upturned chin was so cute and beautiful.

Perhaps pretty and cute girls have a natural sense of friendliness, which was reflected in the speed at which she handed out flyers. In less than
an hour, she had run out of flyers, while I was still struggling with a stiff smile...

With her help, I finished distributing 500 flyers for the day before four o'clock. After getting the money, I
dragged my aching legs to a wall and slumped down on the ground.

"Get up, don't sit here! It's not good..." Gu Xuan frowned and pouted, reaching out to pull me
up.

This was the first time I had touched the hand of a man other than my cousin. Her hand was a little cold, soft and boneless.

She dragged me into the McDonald's next door. I suddenly felt a little scared, because the two of us could easily eat up all the 100 yuan we'd worked
so hard for. So, I desperately backed away, saying, "I'd better
go back first..."

"I'm thirsty, I haven't had any water all afternoon!" Gu Xuan seemed to like pouting; her red lips concealed her
pearly teeth, making her fair face appear even more vibrant and striking.

"What do you want to drink? It's on me!" I said reluctantly.

"Coke is fine, it's really thirst-quenching!" she said with a mischievous smile.

"Why aren't you drinking?" she asked, her voice muffled by the straw.

"I'm not thirsty, I already drank a bottle of water..."

She suddenly stopped, blinking and staring at me, making me a little uneasy.

"What's wrong?" I asked, scratching my head and face, puzzled.

"I..." she pouted shyly, wanting to say something but stopping herself for some reason.

On the way back to school, she held that cup of Coke the whole time, not saying a word. I was exhausted, like a dog,
and had no energy to talk.

At her dorm entrance, she asked if I was going again tomorrow.

I said yes, it's a hundred yuan a day!

She asked if I could go.

I said, it's too tiring, you definitely can't keep up!

She was unhappy and said, "I definitely can!"

I laughed, "You're not short of money, is it really necessary?"

She pouted and said, "Mind your own business! You ask around if they need anyone!"

The next morning, she reluctantly got up, sleepily boarding the bus.

To this day, I still admire her, truly, from the bottom of my heart. I don't know what kept her going
all day. She was breathless, sweat soaking her bangs, which clung messily to her cheeks…

After receiving the 100 yuan, her eyes were red as she said, "I never knew earning money was so hard… If I'd known this,
I shouldn't have drunk that Coke yesterday, it cost 10 yuan…"

The soft sunset shone through the gaps between the towering buildings, casting a soft glow on her fair face.
The sweat on her hair shimmered like stars. For years, I've always felt that she was most beautiful at that moment!

"Come on, I'll treat you to McDonald's! Haha, I earned this myself!" she said, head held high like
a proud rooster, pulling me aggressively into the restaurant.

"This is the most delicious meal I've ever had!"

When we came out of McDonald's, it was already a bit chilly. Gu Xuan hunched her shoulders and tilted her head as she spoke to me.

I smiled silently and said, "This meal cost me enough for a week's living expenses…"

"Huh?! How could that be!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"Well, I work part-time and earn 400 yuan a month. I spend 300 on food, and the remaining 100 is for spending money or to save
for emergencies...

" "Your family doesn't give you money?" she asked, as if she had heard the most unbelievable thing.

The word "family" seemed so distant to me, and I suddenly felt the autumn night was very cold.

I looked down at my shadow under the streetlights and after a long while, I said stiffly, "I don't want to ask my family for money."

Perhaps my words caused her to misunderstand, and this misunderstanding led to an even bigger misunderstanding between us.

(III)

One evening not long after the National Day holiday, I was eating alone in the cafeteria when I saw Gu Xuan again.

She walked past me with her plate, suddenly noticed me, and excitedly sat down opposite me.

She frowned, tilted her head, and looked me up and down, saying, "May I sit here?"

I was suddenly amused by her seriousness, so I put on a straight face and said, "Excuse me, this seat is already taken
."

"Oh, really? Is she a beautiful girl? Your girlfriend?" she smiled, revealing her white teeth and
squinting .

I was speechless for a moment, then ignored her and buried my head in my food.

"How boring! Humph!" she said, forcefully stabbing her chopsticks into her rice, as if the bowl of rice
was me sitting across from her.

"Oops! I accidentally took too much, I can't finish it..." she said, picking up a large lion's head meatball from her plate and
gently placing it in my bowl, looking displeased.

"..." I looked up at her plate and realized she had only taken one lion's head meatball.

"Gu Xuan, actually I'm full..."

I was about to put the meatball back in her bowl, but as soon as I picked up my chopsticks, I heard her say urgently, "Don't put it in my bowl! Look at your bowl!"
"What a mess! I'm disgusted by it! Hehe..."

Indeed, the rice in my bowl was drenched in a lot of soup, making it look disgusting.

"Eat up! And this too, I can't eat this much either, I haven't even used my chopsticks, you don't have to be disgusted by me...
" she said, piling twice-cooked pork and shredded potatoes onto my plate.

At that moment, something seemed to gently pluck a string in my heart. Was that something called kinship?
Or maternal love? How many years had it been since my mother had served me food?

I didn't dare to think further, otherwise tears would involuntarily stream down my face. So I lowered my head and frantically stuffed food into my mouth
.

I don't know how much time passed, but I sensed something was off.

I looked up and saw Gu Xuan across from me, her eyes red.

My mouth was full of food, and I sobbed, "What's wrong?"

She suddenly chuckled, then pouted as if in pain, and said, "Judging from the way you eat,
it looks like you haven't eaten for months. You... do you often go hungry?"

"No," I said, struggling to swallow the food in my mouth, taking a sip of the free soup, "How could
I not be hungry? It's just that I rarely eat this well..."

"Then eat more, I'm full," she said, putting some barely touched food from her plate into my bowl.

Looking back now, I'm puzzled by my behavior then. For various reasons, I'm a withdrawn person with a strong
sense of pride , and Gu Xuan's act of charity would easily have offended me—according to
my personality, even begging should be done with dignity—but at the time, I didn't feel any resistance; instead, a warm current surged
within me .

After that day, I often ran into Gu Xuan in the cafeteria, and almost every time she would "take
too much" food, then put the "extra" food into my bowl...

I'm not stupid; although my emotional intelligence has never been high, I could still sense the good intentions
behind . Many times I considered whether to refuse this "care"
or "charity," but whenever I made up my mind, deep down I couldn't refuse this warmth.

During winter break of my freshman year, Gu Xuan and I couldn't get train tickets, so we had to take a bus home.
The journey of over 800 kilometers took nearly 10 hours.

After lunch, the warm sunlight outside the bus window made me sleepy, and soon she closed her eyes and fell asleep.
I tilted my head and looked at her as she slept; particles of sunlight danced on her cheeks, and the sparse
downy hairs on her earlobes shimmered softly.

The bus suddenly jolted, and she murmured, then suddenly rested her head on my shoulder. I tensed up, frozen in
place , leaning stiffly against the seat, afraid of waking her.

The car was quiet, save for the soft hum of the engine and the whirring of the air conditioner. I could hear her short,
delicate breaths, smell her faint, alluring fragrance, and almost feel the warmth
emanating . And so, in that cold winter, a flutter of emotion took root and sprouted in my heart…

What exactly is love?

If I had said it ten years ago, that winter, love is the winter sun, gentle as Gu Xuan's
slender fingers, warm as the food Gu Xuan picked up, intimate as Gu Xuan's slightly upturned lips, beautiful as Gu Xuan
's cheeks bathed in sunlight…

Yes, that winter, on the way home, I fell deeply in love with the short-haired
girl leaning on my shoulder. Unfortunately, I was too introverted and insecure back then. I didn't even dare to look her in the eye,
let alone say to her, "I love you! Be my girlfriend!"

Love is like flowing water. Although I tried my best to hold it in my hands, it inevitably
slipped through my fingers, leaving only a damp stain on my palms, stained with tears...

(IV)

Spring in this city is short, too short to appreciate. When the cherry blossoms bloom and quickly wither,
spring is over.

In the second semester of my freshman year, I found two tutoring jobs, two hours each on Saturday mornings and afternoons,
earning . Because I wanted to buy a computer, I also insisted on handing out flyers on Sundays, earning
260 yuan a week. I thought I could save enough money for a computer by the end of the semester.

I wasn't interested in my major, so my grades weren't good. I
was in the lower middle . I didn't like joining clubs either. After attending a few recruitment events, I decided
they were useless, just a way for a couple of upperclassmen to gain prestige.

Unlike me, Gu Xuan loved participating in various activities. What surprised me even more was that she was a member of the college's
women's basketball team , and they had even made it to the school's top eight last semester. As her friend, I knew absolutely
nothing about it.

Until one evening in my second semester of freshman year, I went for a run on the track. Afterwards, I passed by the basketball court and noticed a
girl whose back looked a lot like Gu Xuan. As I got closer, it was indeed her.

She was shooting hoops by herself and called me over to play. Actually, I'm terrible at basketball; I
only played for a short time during PE class throughout high school.

She suggested we play one-on-one.

I thought, "What's a big guy like me afraid of one-on-one?" So I happily nodded.

But she beat me horribly, utterly humiliatingly. In the end, I had to resort to all sorts of humiliating tactics—pulling, dragging, and even
finally grabbing her as she walked past me…

We were both wearing very little clothing, just short sleeves, and we were sweating. I hugged her tightly, the basketball slipping from her
hands and rolling away on the ground with a thud.

Her waist was slender, supple, and soft; a few of my fingers seemed to uncontrollably
press on her lower abdomen.

"You…" she gasped, scolding me in my arms.

The streetlights beside the court were dim, but I could still see a blush rising on the back of her neck.

"You cheated, that's a foul!" she said, twisting her body slightly, trying to break
free .

I thought she was angry, so I awkwardly released her. She ran off to retrieve the ball, head down, while I
looked down at my hands, seemingly unable to believe that I had just hugged her so closely.

"Let's go," she called from afar.

I sheepishly followed behind her, my pert little bottom, encased in jeans, swaying with her steps
, and before I knew it, I was shamelessly hard.

Afraid of being discovered, I put my hands in my shorts pockets and tried to spread the front of the shorts open with my palms.

"Hurry up! I'm not angry! Silly..." She suddenly stopped, turned around, and chuckled.

"Will you still play basketball with me?"

"No!"

"No, I finally managed to find a practice partner!"

"..." I rolled my eyes and said, "You should find a girl, I'm afraid I won't be able to resist hugging you again!"

"Hmph! You did that on purpose!" she pouted and scolded.

Her coquettishness was always irresistible, so every few nights she would call me to practice,
and I would always take the opportunity to take advantage of her.

Sometimes things take an unexpected turn.

That night, in the middle of a game, it suddenly started raining heavily, and the playground and basketball court were in chaos.
We ran all the way to the eaves of the spectator stand on the playground, looked at each other's drenched appearance, and couldn't help but burst into
laughter .

I was a little better off. Her t-shirt, soaked by the rain, clung tightly to her body, outlining her graceful
figure . I realized then that I had been neglecting her body for so long. The neckline of her off-white t-shirt was loose,
falling somewhat disheveled across her chest. Through the rain-soaked, discolored fabric, I could clearly see her pale yellow
bra underneath. Her breasts weren't large, but I could still see a shallow cleavage running down her back.

"Don't look!" she pouted, covering her chest with her hands.

I quickly looked away, awkwardly leaning against the wall, watching the curtain of water falling from the eaves, remaining silent.

The rain continued to fall, with flashes of lightning occasionally streaking across the night sky, followed by booming thunder from the distant horizon.

After a long while, Gu Xuan also leaned against the wall, hugging her shoulders and shivering.

"Are you cold?"

"Yeah, a little."

"Then…" I realized then that I was almost powerless to help; my t-shirt was already soaked through.

Another silence followed.

"Wait here, I'll go back and get an umbrella."

"No!" she stubbornly refused, her trembling appearance pitiful.

"Hug me..." she whispered.

"..." I opened my mouth, but before I could gather my words, she gently moved closer to my
shoulder.

My hands hung awkwardly at my sides, and she rubbed her head against my shoulder,
the raindrops on her hair sending a chill through me.

"I'm cold..." she murmured, her voice muffled.

I stiffly pulled her into my arms, feeling her body tense, as if she were shivering from the cold.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, much better, it's so warm..."

The rain was still falling, the raindrops splashing on the concrete, and I realized that Gu Xuan and I weren't
alone; there were several couples on the viewing platform huddled together for warmth.

I smiled silently, feeling that happiness had come so quickly, so suddenly, that it felt unreal.
Only by holding her tightly could I feel real, feel her presence.

"You're squeezing me too tight..." Gu Xuan said with a wince of pain.

"I'm afraid you'll disappear the next moment!" I said, gently rubbing my chin against the top of her head.

"Hehe, how could that be! Your arms are so warm, I like it..." she chuckled, her warm
breath seeping through the damp fabric and onto my chest.

"I like it too..."

"Like what?"

"Like holding you like this..."

"Anything else?"

"Nothing else," I said with a silly smile.

"Hmph, blockhead!" Gu Xuan said angrily.

I don't know how long we hugged, but the rain finally subsided. I pulled her hand and ran, the wind and raindrops constantly
hitting our faces, stinging a little.

Downstairs at her building, she looked up at me and said, "I'm going up. Don't you have anything to say to me?"

I thought for a moment and said, "Go back and take a hot shower, don't catch a cold, and cover yourself well with a blanket tonight...
"

"Okay, I know." She seemed to be waiting for me to say something, but I kept urging her to leave.

She finally turned around, stopped at the dormitory door, and turned back to me, saying, "You blockhead, I hate you!"

(V)

One day before the May Day holiday in 2006, Gu Xuan said while eating, "Big blockhead, let's
go out and play during the May Day holiday!"

I asked, biting into a chicken leg, "Where to go?

" "I don't know, that's your business!" she giggled.

"I don't know either, why don't you suggest where to go!" I said helplessly. On the one hand, I really didn't
know where to go, and on the other hand, I was worried about the money. I was planning when I could buy a computer, but if
I went out to play, I estimated that it would cost more than a thousand yuan.

"Let me think, how about we go to Suzhou? It's very close. I've always wanted to see the water towns and ride a small boat...
" Her longing look made me feel a little sorry for her.

It was only much later that I realized that I was very stupid and confused at that time, or as Gu Xuan would say, a blockhead
. I always thought Gu Xuan and I were already a couple; otherwise, how could she have allowed me to hold her?
As her boyfriend, I had never given her even a small gift.

She so desperately wanted to go to Suzhou to fulfill her dream of falling asleep by the fishing lights and the sound of oars; how could I not grant her wish?

On May Day, I took the high-speed train to Suzhou and then transferred to Tongli.

For dinner, I ate a few pieces of pig's trotters and drank some beer. Not being a heavy drinker, I was quite tipsy and
walked with Gu Xuan back to the guesthouse.

On the way, we got caught in the rain again. It wasn't heavy though; the rain in Tongli was like silken threads, pattering softly in
the air .

By the time we got to the guesthouse, our clothes were soaked. Gu Xuan took a change of clothes into the bathroom, and soon I heard
the sound of running water.

My eyes were on the TV, but my mind was elsewhere until I heard soft footsteps, which brought me
back to reality .

"Why don't you take a shower too? It's warm here!" Gu Xuan said, drying her hair.

After showering, we sat on the bed watching TV, but I was on one side of the bed and she was on the other,
as if an invisible line separated us.

"I'm sleepy," she said, covering her mouth with her hand as she yawned.

"Okay, then you should go to sleep."

I don't know how much time had passed, but I was still sitting on the bed watching the silent TV when Gu Xuan turned her face,
pouting, said, "Wooden head..." Her voice was lazy and alluring, seemingly possessing a magic
that kept drawing my gaze to her face peeking out from under the covers.

"Hug me..."

The blankets were warm, but I felt a little cold. Gu Xuan shivered involuntarily as she moved closer to me.

We were both dressed, but it seemed she wasn't wearing a bra; her soft breasts were piled against my
arm.

"Hold me tight..." she said, turning me to lie face to face, then wrapping herself around me like an octopus
.

Soft and warm as jade—that's the feeling my hands were getting right now. Gu Xuan's breasts changed shape in my palm
, neither too big nor too small, just the right size for my hand. Her nipples were tiny,
the smallest I'd ever seen. How tiny? I couldn't find a reference point, but they were probably somewhere
between .

She buried her face in my neck, letting out barely audible moans. My already erect
penis was pressed against her thigh, involuntarily rubbing and throbbing back and forth.

"Ugh!" she whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Hard..." she murmured, nuzzling closer in my neck.

"It likes you!" I thrust harder, and she gasped, tilting her flushed face up to
whisper in my ear, "It's so hot."

I don't know where I got the courage, but I grabbed her small hand and placed it on my hard penis. Her hand was cool, and
when it touched my penis, it felt like it was coated with a thin layer of peppermint oil—cool and refreshing, like an electric
shock . My penis swelled and hardened even more.

"No!" she cried out, struggling, but I held her hand firmly against my penis, preventing her from
moving an inch.

After a long while, she quieted down, then her small hand, warmed by my penis, moved slightly. She let out a long
sigh and chuckled, "It's moving..."

"Want to see it?"

"No!" she said, but her small hand gripped my penis even tighter, which felt incredibly pleasurable.

"Kiss me..." she brought her lips close to my face.

I awkwardly opened my mouth and touched her lips; they were warm, soft, and smooth like glutinous rice.

"This is my first kiss..." she said breathlessly as our lips finally parted.

"It's my first kiss too," I said, and kissed her lips again, licking her teeth and sucking on
her tender tongue.

"Wooden head, big wooden head..." she pushed my face away forcefully, "I can't breathe, you
deadbeat , you haven't even said you like me yet..." Her right hand had somehow left my penis, stroking her smooth, white
chest as she panted and scolded me.

"Of course I like you, don't you know?" I asked, puzzled.

"You're such a blockhead! Humph, I'm ignoring you!" she said angrily, turning away.

"…………" I didn't know what the problem was; she seemed a bit unreasonable.

But the physical pleasure and mental ecstasy were irresistible. I could only hug her from behind and
whisper in her ear, "I like you, don't be angry!"

She didn't speak, but twisted her body, trying to break free from my embrace. Her buttocks accidentally bumped against my
penis , seemingly by chance, into her buttocks cleft.

Her struggles only made me hold her tighter. With pressure comes resistance, but in the end,
I don't know when, I stripped her naked, letting me kiss and caress her.

Just as I was about to enter her body, I suddenly stopped. I was terrified, terrified that
everything beautiful between us would be gone, terrified that I couldn't protect her, terrified that I wasn't capable of taking care of her.

Back then, I was a poor loser, haha, a poor loser who often needed her help out.

"What's wrong?" she asked, opening her eyes and panting.

"Nothing..." I got off her and lay down on the bed.

"What's wrong?" she asked again.

"I can't do this!" I mumbled, pulling the blanket over my head.

"I don't blame you!" she said, burrowing under the covers and pressing her face against my chest.

"I'm not good enough for you..." I don't know what I was thinking, but those words just slipped out.

...

I felt a dampness on my chest, and when I lifted the blanket, I found Gu Xuan's face covered in tears.

"What's wrong?"

Her silent sobbing was the only response.

"What happened?"

"Waaah, you're such a jerk!" she finally cried out, "You're not good enough for me? How come you're not good enough for me?
If you think you're not good enough for me, then what are you doing with me now?"

"..." I opened my mouth, but didn't know what to say.

"Ha..." she laughed bitterly, crying, "I really like you, and I was going to give myself to you, but you
just made me feel so cheap. Do I have to beg you to be satisfied?!"

...

What should have been a romantic and passionate night ended in this unpleasant way.

I got dressed and curled up on the recliner, unable to sleep all night, occasionally hearing Gu Xuan's soft sobs from the bed
...

The next day, we went back to school and didn't see each other again until after the exams in June.

The day after the exams, military training began.

(VI)

One night during military training, I lay exhausted in bed reading a novel. When the dorm leader came back, he leaned over to
my bed and asked mysteriously, "Guess who I just saw?"

I was stunned. "Who did you see?"

"Your girlfriend, with a guy, they looked really intimate..." He patted my shoulder,
gave me a sympathetic look, and added, "Didn't you say you two just had a few arguments? How come she got stolen away?"

"..." I was completely dumbfounded. I couldn't believe it was true.

Until the dorm leader said, looking embarrassed, "I even saw them holding hands as they came out of the training area..."

I don't know how I got out of the dorm, or how I got to Gu Xuan's building. Only then did I realize that
without my phone, I couldn't find her at all. Finally, I returned to the dorm

, feeling utterly lost. I don't know how I got through the military training. I was in a daze, and I got a lot of scolding from the instructors.

The day after military training ended, I saw Gu Xuan in her camouflage uniform on the playground. The summer sun had
tanned her skin a bit dark, but it made her look even more energetic and spirited. The hand that had been holding mine not long ago was now in
another man's hand.

I walked towards her involuntarily, and only when I stood right in front of her did she recognize me—I was also tanned.
Gu Xuan later told me that I looked like an African monkey back then, and she couldn't recognize me at all.

Meeting under these circumstances, Gu Xuan was clearly unprepared. She hurriedly pulled her hand
away from the boy's and awkwardly said, "Long time no see..."

"...", I just kept staring at her.

"Xuanxuan, who's this?" the boy next to her asked in a sickeningly sweet tone.

"Ah! My fellow townsman, from the same high school..." Gu Xuan replied helplessly, her eyes
pleading as she looked at me, seemingly telling me not to do anything rash.

"Really? Hello, what's your name?" the boy said, extending his hand in a friendly greeting.

I ignored his outstretched hand, glanced at Gu Xuan, and turned to leave. I vaguely heard the
boy behind me say, "Xuanxuan, is your fellow villager crazy? How can he be so rude..."

Haha, Xuanxuan... My heart felt like it had been stabbed, it hurt so much.

The holidays started, and the campus quickly emptied out, almost deserted even in broad daylight. I didn't want to go back to that home that made me
feel cold and disgusted.

I was alone in the dorm. The pain of heartbreak kept me cooped up in the dorm for three days, barely eating anything
. It was then that I learned to smoke. I didn't have much money, so I could only afford five-yuan packs.

Perhaps my past experiences allowed me to recover quickly from the pain of heartbreak, because I
had realized after the college entrance exam last year that one should look forward, not dwell on the past.

I remembered I'd always wanted to buy a computer, and now I had saved up over 3000 yuan, so I went to the computer mall
.

Back in 2006, the assembled computer market was booming, and the Bai Nao Hui mall was bustling with people. I walked around and found that
almost every store was packed, with long queues and salespeople overwhelmed.

I suddenly wondered if I could work here during the summer vacation, earning money and learning a skill at the same time.

So I found a shop owned by a kind-looking middle-aged man, around forty years old, and nervously explained
my purpose.

He asked if I knew anything about hardware.

I shook my head and said, "I often read computer magazines in the library..."

"Then tell me about the main CPU, hard drive, and memory brands..."

I racked my brains, managing to name a few correctly.

"You're a student, right? Why are you thinking of working here?" the man asked, very kindly and patiently.

"I want to earn money to buy a computer," I said sheepishly.

"Interesting. Do you know how to assemble a computer?"

"No, but I can learn..."

The older man thought for a moment and then said, "Okay, you can learn here first. But let's make it clear beforehand, you'll be helping
out first, 50 yuan a day. After a while, if you can bring in business yourself, I'll give you a 3%
commission for each machine you sell. How about that?"

In 2006, a computer generally cost 4,000-5,000 yuan,
so I quickly nodded in agreement.

"When can you come?"

"Right now!"

And so, I began my working life in the computer mall. For the first few days, I helped the people assembling computers
while learning, and I also had to go to pick up goods with the delivery slips from time to time, and even buy lunch for everyone...

After half a month, a salesman went to the toilet during a computer assembly, and the older man, seeing that I was idle, said,
"Xiao Zhang, you give it a try, I'll watch from the side."

Fortunately, the half-month of hard work was not in vain. Although there were many places where I needed the older man's guidance, I still completed it
relatively smoothly, although the wiring inside the computer case was still a bit messy.

"Hmm, not bad, you can try it tomorrow..." The uncle clearly didn't want me, his laborer, to be idle.

During my first summer vacation, in less than forty days, I independently completed over 90 orders, earning a total of
over 14,000 yuan. When I finally received the heavy stack of RMB from the boss, I almost cried.

The uncle was a decent person; I was initially worried he would stand me up, but in the end, he not only paid me in full
but also let me buy a computer from his shop at cost price.

Before I left, the boss stopped me and asked if I could come back to work on weekends after school started.

It turned out that the summer vacation and the end of October were the busiest time for computer assembly each year, and they
definitely wouldn't have enough manpower then.

The boss also said that he would give me an extra percentage of my commission if I came back. Of course, I nodded in agreement.

In short, I earned a little over 20,000 yuan working in the computer mall in 2006, which was
more than my four years of undergraduate tuition...

If I had known this, I really wouldn't have needed to apply for student loans.

From the start of my freshman year, I discovered that making money is actually quite easy, as long as you're willing to work hard.
My experience working during the summer break after my freshman year further showed me that earning a significant amount of money is also relatively easy,
as long as you're willing to work hard, study diligently, and be shameless enough to overcome any obstacles.

I have a characteristic, or rather a flaw, that is, whenever I have money, I stop working so hard to earn more
until it's almost gone, at which point I start thinking of ways to make more.

So, after the National Day holiday, I started diligently studying at school, attending classes, doing part-time jobs, going to
the library , and playing basketball – that became my entire life.

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