【Lonely Lover】(09-13) (Completed) Author: johnyoung

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Author: johnyoung
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[bbs=thread-9261646-1-1.html]【Lonely Lovers】(01-08)[/bbs]

(IX) Unstoppable Desire

After finishing our meal, Ling and I parted ways. I said I needed to go back and rest. I restarted my phone, which had been off,
but the same text messages and calls kept coming in. My thoughts were in turmoil.

When I returned to my new home, I saw someone—a shadow that lingered in my mind.
I had been by her side from when she was 5, 13, and 17. I wanted to go back to my room, but my father stopped me and said, "Don't you recognize
your sister?"

I replied, "I'm very tired.

" "Didn't you come home last night?"

"Yes, with Ling." I said this, reluctantly glancing at the girl, my sister who
had been .

My father just smiled slightly; he'd been that age too. He didn't say anything, but her expression was grave.
I could tell she hadn't confronted him yet. You know, if he knew, he'd tear us to pieces!

I told him, "Father, you're busy, go to the company." He said, "Take your sister out and have some fun. After all, you won't be
studying in the same city, and you'll both be separated from each other."

My father didn't mean anything by it, but my sister took it to heart.

When she heard about not going to university in the same city, her eyes glared at me, as if she wanted to kill me.

I lowered my head guiltily. I had lied to her; I was wrong. I hadn't discussed it with her and had made the decision on my own.

My father left, and my heart sank. I was grateful that You hadn't said anything, but for the next few minutes, I really didn't
know how to begin.

She answered first, "How much more haven't you told me?

You said you'd love me, but you're spineless. You're afraid of Father. You said you'd be with me,
but after the exams, you ran away. You just wanted to abandon me, didn't you, Yuan!"

She called me by my name, and I was speechless for a moment. For a moment, I even wanted to die to atone for my sins.

I admit I'm older than my sister, but her thinking is still a little more mature than mine. She can
hold firm to my promise.

She's really much braver than me; I've described her that way countless times.

"But we can't get married, we can't get married. We're siblings; love has to compromise with reality."
I was about to cry; I really couldn't imagine this kind of agonizing feeling.

"You can't escape, really, brother."

"You love me, that can't be changed. This is just your excuse."

"Please, You, give up! I'm afraid I won't be able to hold on." I really couldn't hold on any longer.
The woman I love, I love her with a heart-wrenching pain, I love her to the very marrow of my bones.

She must have cried herself to sleep these past few days; her eyes were red, and I could tell it was because of me. I truly
wished I could take her place and suffer in her place.

We were both silent.

That evening, I cooked for her, but she only ate a few bites coldly before going to her room.

In the evening, I received a call from Ling, inviting me out. I declined, saying I had guests at home and couldn't go; I'd suggest
another day .

I couldn't tell her the guests were my sister, and besides, I had a feeling something awkward would happen if my sister and Ling met—
it was my intuition. I was afraid my sister wouldn't be able to resist, so it was better to wait until we were both at ease before meeting.

Suddenly, my sister came out, taking off her t-shirt. I saw her firm breasts; the black bra cups
and the faint cleavage made me stunned for a moment. She said she wanted to take a shower. I really hadn't expected that. Why did she want to shower now
?

I prepared the bathwater for her, and she said she wanted to bathe with me. She was so bold; she stripped completely off, throwing her
black bra and silk panties on the floor and heading into the bathroom. My face flushed crimson, but I couldn't help
glancing at her rounded buttocks and smooth back. My brother's lower body felt hard.

I was so tired; the exertion of this morning and last night had exhausted me. I cried out, "Put on my shirt first," and went back to my room,
collapsing into bed.

My mind was filled with that body; she could give me stimulation, she could ignite my desire.
Compared to Ling, I truly preferred to cherish that girl, every inch of her skin. I was willing to unconditionally
caress her—what a wonderful, pleasurable moment that would be.

That night, I vaguely felt a surge of heat in my lower body; I was so hot, and suddenly felt myself about to burst
forth. I woke up with a start.

A lustful body appeared before me. Through the crack in the door, letting in a sliver of light, I froze. Yu had pulled down my underwear and was
now sucking on my penis. The scent of her wet hair made me
dizzy. She seemed experienced; while sucking my glans, she teased and rubbed the
sensitive areas of the coronal sulcus with her wet tongue. I was about to climax. I told her to stop, but she continued silently.

I felt incredibly good. As her movements became faster, I held her head in my hands. I knew I was about to ejaculate
; my whole body tingled, and pleasure surged through my brain.

Ah! I trembled, my lower body jerking a few times. I knew I'd ejaculated entirely into her mouth. She coughed a few times, and
only a few drops of fluid dripped down.

I looked at her, noticing she was wearing a shirt several sizes too big for me, and seemingly nothing underneath.

I was stunned. I didn't chase her away. When I was with her, an endless desire welled up from the depths of my heart. I
only felt pleasure and satisfaction in front of my sister.

This was different from Rin.

I asked, "What exactly do you want?" I looked at her.

She shook her head, and I didn't know what she meant.

She said she wanted it.

I smiled bitterly. I couldn't distinguish what love was anymore. I knew how to ask, but I had reason!

She kissed me. How could I refuse? This feeling overwhelmed me; my masculine power seemed to be
ruthlessly suppressed by my sister's initiative.

I loved her. It wasn't just desire; it was also the infusion of love, otherwise I wouldn't have resisted.

We were intertwined. I could feel the dampness of her shirt against my
skin and I could feel the firmness of her breasts.

She had been the one taking the initiative all along, and I didn't stop her. I knew my desire had been aroused, completely aroused
.

I really couldn't push her away again. I remembered when we were in our senior year of high school, she asked me why, and I said I didn't want to.
I loved her so deeply, causing her pain. I knew that deep within each other's hearts, there was an unknown force
urging us closer.

Suddenly, she cried and stopped. She said I no longer loved her.

My mind was a jumble of emotions: lust, love, pain, regret—so many things twisted my brain.

I cursed. I'm a fucking beast!

What am I?!

Like the most primal animal, I pinned my beloved sister to the floor, found her already wet and
slippery vulva, and began to thrust rapidly, each stroke firm and powerful. I hated myself; I was
a beast!

I thrust faster and faster, the sounds of my lewd thrusting mingling with my sister's cries, mixed with
moans .

I poured all my strength into her body,
ejaculating thud of my penis, her vagina contracted tightly, her muscles convulsing.

I held my head, saying nothing. The more I thought about it, the more painful it became, truly.

(X) Defeated Once Again

I was torn between two sides in this love affair, unable to fully accept either outcome. I don't know how many times I almost cried,
clutching my head .

Many figures flickered in my mind:

my parents whipping me as a child, my first kiss with Yu, watching the shy Ling, and my
caresses .

These things suffocated me.

I watched my sister lying helplessly on the bed. I pulled her up, cupped her face in my hands, her face
flushed .

"I don't know what to do! I'm in so much pain, sister, my heart aches so much, I can't see the future."

She cried helplessly, her eyes red and wet. I felt a little lost. I don't know how

much time passed, but I eventually fell asleep.

When I woke up in the morning, my sister wasn't beside me. I checked my phone, saw the time, and saw a text message she had left for me
.

I burst into tears. The text message I typed read: "I know you're scared. I gave you everything,
hoping you could be safe, but you keep running away. I'm almost numb. You're always
thinking ; you never think of me. We've lived together for 18 years. You should know how much I love you. You're my
brother, the brother who would give up everything for me. I know every move you make, every little habit, every thought of yours.
But I'm afraid that one day you won't be able to hold on with me anymore.

Fine, I'll go. You live your life. I'll go. We're family, just the closest of relatives.
You and your fiancée have a good life.

Take care. That's all.

Your sister.

" Blank. What could I do? I found myself inexplicably searching for something in the house. I searched every corner and
found alcohol and a pack of cigarettes.

I drank, and my throat felt burning. I lit a cigarette and coughed uncontrollably.

My head ached. I called out, but no one answered. The vast house was filled with my emptiness.

I can, I can, no, no.

These inexplicable thoughts are confusing me.

I just want to sleep again, just a good night's sleep.

When I woke up again, I was lying in bed, and someone was standing next to me. She was wearing a warm-colored dress, and I could smell her
intoxicating scent. I patted her shoulder, and she turned around, her expression cold and aloof.

My vision blurred, but I knew it was Ling.

I asked her how she got in, and she said her father gave her the key. I didn't know what to say.

Suddenly, she said very seriously, "When did your relationship start?"

I was caught off guard; I didn't understand what she meant.

"What started? With whom?" I retorted.

"Do you really want me to tell you? Your story makes me... makes me feel better," she hesitated.

She saw it? My first thought was that she saw the text message my sister sent me.

"Fine, so what if she knows? You can laugh at me now. I
slept with her years ago, we did everything a married couple should do! You can despise me now, I'm not afraid of anything!"
I yelled like a madman.

She was bewildered. "But, but she's my sister! Your own sister!"

"So what! It's all because we're siblings, all because!" My voice grew louder and louder.

"Okay, but we're getting married, we have to get married! What am I supposed to do?" She
started .

I didn't know either, I really didn't know. Ling left, and I knew she was in pain. She simply couldn't accept
someone like me who had such feelings. I'm a beast. I hurt my sister, and now... sigh!

I need to be rational. I did yell at her just now, and I have to apologize.

I sent her a text message, hoping she could calm down.

(XI) Calmly

I waited for the phone call and text message, hoping someone would call. I waited so anxiously. Later, I
wandered around outside. The night view was beautiful, but my heart was bleeding. I went to the supermarket and bought some liquor. I sat by a riverbank,
admiring the confluence of the wind and the river, but I always felt something was missing.

I really drank it in one gulp, and it felt spicy.

My heart felt like it was on fire.

And normally I wouldn't get drunk, but my heart felt drunk.

My body could still move, but my heart felt numb.

My phone vibrated, but I was too tired. I dialed, and a girl called—it was Ring.

She asked where I was, and I, my head spinning, said I was on the riverbank.

She said I was drunk, and I actually laughed. I became increasingly confused and hung up. I

hadn't felt this tired in a long time. The sounds of the wind rustling around me were sometimes peaceful, sometimes jarring.

Then someone tapped my shoulder, and I opened my eyes slightly, still blurry.

The person helped me up and said, "I've been looking for you for ages. What are you doing sleeping here? Luckily, no one's
around at night ."

I guessed it was Ring, and I tried even harder to wake up, but this time I was truly limp, my heart unable to muster any strength.

I said to her, "I'm sorry, I'm just so sorry."

She struggled to get me into a taxi and then took me home. I hugged her and buried my head in her chest. Her scent
made me even more intoxicated. At the stairwell of the apartment building, I held her even tighter. She opened the door and went in. The first thing she did was to get me
onto my bed.

I was drunk, yet strangely lucid. I grabbed her, begging her not to leave. "Please, please don't leave
me."

She smiled faintly, saying, "You're almost twenty, still so childish."

She was shy, but her face was beautiful.

"Okay, I'll stay a little longer,"

I leaned closer, but my stomach churned, and I couldn't help but vomit, all over her. She looked
utterly speechless.

She went to the bathroom to wipe herself, angrily scolding me. Vomiting sobered me up considerably. I wanted to get up and apologize,
but I was too weak, and my head was still throbbing.

She took off her outer garment, revealing her bare, snow-white back. She was rummaging through my closet for clothes.
Seeing her busy, I said, "Don't go."

She was surprised. "Isn't that a bit much? Your father won't

come back. "

I said that, but it was the truth. My father was always busy; he had no time to care about my life or death. Only
his interests mattered.

She considered it for a moment and agreed.

She fed me hangover soup, and nestled in her arms, I thought of my mother. When I was little, I had a high fever,
and she fed me medicine. It was on this night that my heart gradually warmed.

My hands started to wander, touching her thigh, then moving upwards. She noticed and brushed my hands
away. "Oh dear, what are you doing? You're acting like a child."

I said it felt like my mother, and gave a mischievous laugh.

She chuckled, saying I wasn't even letting my mother off the hook, practically an incestuous man.

I guess she was joking, but it still touched me a little, a sour feeling.

Seeing my displeasure, she quickly said it wasn't intentional.

Actually, it's nothing. I still need to learn to forget, right? Actually, I thought a lot that night. Life
is indeed full of hardships, and these hardships are probably different for everyone. I'm just a challenger, and what I
encountered was just a more unusual problem.

I realized I need to be optimistic; that was an epiphany that night. Actually, a smile isn't a big deal.

My sister, still my sister.

I may not be able to experience her charm in her wedding dress up close, but at least I can feel her
happiness as a benefactor.

My cowardice had an excuse, and it was justified. Looking at it from another angle, everything made sense.

Why should I be hurt by love? I hoped I could be more selfish in this regard. Losing isn't the only thing;
how I love myself to escape the past? I was thinking, not running away, but quietly reflecting.

I pulled the young woman beside me into my arms, kissing her passionately. I understood her carefree attitude;
she could understand everything, so why should I be conflicted?

My hand caressed her softness. She was so sensitive; at first she resisted, but then she softened. I
slowly searched through her pants. She let out a soft moan. My fingers moved deftly, unbuttoning her pants. Soon she was
naked. I could feel the change in her heart. I pressed her down, vigorously caressing her genitals.
She was wet; my fingers were covered in her fluids. I couldn't resist anymore. I took off my pants and looked for condoms in the closet,
but there weren't any. She told me she had some in her bag.

I wondered when she'd developed such ideas, so without further ado, I began to penetrate.

I found it surprisingly easy to enter; it was so tight, yet incredibly slippery. I slowly thrust
a few times; she clenched her teeth, but seemed to be enjoying it.

I continued, though perhaps because of the alcohol, I didn't feel any urge.

I spread her legs wide, widening her opening as much as possible, so my penis could thrust more
quickly .

She seemed very excited in this position for the first time, letting out a moan, which encouraged me
even more. I thrust harder and faster.

She closed her eyes, moaning ecstatically. I gradually lowered myself, pressing her legs down to their limit. My
abdomen began to feel hot and numb, a surge of heat reaching my brain. I caressed her pink breasts and kissed her
cheeks.

She was out of breath, her hands gripping my neck. I was about to come, the feeling was overwhelming. Suddenly my
lower body trembled, and a surge of heat gushed out. She felt the impact too, her legs clamping tightly around me. After the passion subsided, I
felt tired, and Ling's whole body went limp. After we separated, I continued to caress her already incredibly wet vulva,
slowly teasing her sensitive spots. My index finger stimulated the clitoris with alternating speeds. She grabbed my hand, wanting
me to slow down, her face flushed. I asked her if she was about to come, and she groaned softly. I then caressed her
still firm breasts, and soon she reached orgasm.

My hands were covered in clear secretions. I held her, and because my head was still a little throbbing, I gradually
fell asleep.

(XII) Time may wash away the past .

I woke up, and Ling was still asleep.

My hand was on her chest, so warm there. A youthful, sensual naked body was before you, only
endless thoughts and exploration remained.

I touched her smooth skin, gradually moving downwards to her rounded buttocks. I couldn't resist wandering into her crevice;
the warmth there drew me in. I quickly found the wet spot and gently teased her. She had her back to me,
only murmuring softly.

Seeing no resistance, I pressed my aroused penis against her crevice, slowly rubbing it.

She was still sleepy, letting me do as I pleased. I persisted for a while, feeling my lower body growing increasingly
hot. I supported my penis, turned sideways, and slowly entered her. She woke up, shaking her hips, trying to
get away, but I held her tightly.

The moment I entered, she turned her head shyly to look at me, which made me even more impulsive, increasing the pace.

She moaned softly, and I heard the sounds of flesh against flesh, my desire intensifying.

This time, I couldn't hold back for more than ten minutes before ejaculating, all inside her.

After resting for a moment, I patted her head, signaling her to suckle my penis. She wriggled and nestled against my
waist, her head bobbing up and down.

My semi-erect penis, inside her wet mouth, hardened again. Although her unfamiliar teeth
would occasionally brush against it, the pleasure was indescribable.

This time, I held on, lasting seven or eight minutes. She said her mouth was numb from moving, so I held her head to prevent
her from leaving. She couldn't move anymore, but she sped up. Finally, I couldn't hold back any longer and ejaculated all at once.

I pressed her head down tightly, and she moaned something.

With a few sudden jerks of my penis, I slowly released her.

She hit me hard a few times, yelling that I could barely breathe.

There was still milky white fluid at the corner of her mouth, which I gently wiped away.

We hugged for a while, and then I remembered something. I panicked and said I hadn't brought a condom.

She told me it was a safe period, and I felt relieved.

I'm still young; if something happened, it would be really hard to explain to my family.

She asked me what I and my sister should do.

I said time would tell, and I had to trust her.

She nodded, her mature face telling me she would, no matter what, she would be by my
side .

Originally, I just wanted to forget the past, but now I realize I really like being with Ling; she's
truly likable.

I need to forget; I'm not a child anymore.

I need to make a choice; I need to be brave, I need to be responsible—this is an elective course for the future.

Life has too many ups and downs; I have to keep tasting the disappointments and swallowing them down.

In these three months, I've tried to use time to understand the compromises of love.

I seem to have gotten used to my little sister's carefree, noisy figure when you're not by my side.

You haven't called me to say you miss me either.

We used to hold hands tightly, inseparable, and I'm trying to learn to separate.

Time is so strange and manipulative; its magic makes me forget the neurotic Noriko from Haruki Murakami's novel.

Perhaps I am the dead past; the moment the Titanic crashed into the sea,
the budding feelings deep within us disappeared forever.

We are family, family with blood thicker than water, so lovely, gone with the wind, seemingly unintentional,
somewhat pale and powerless.

(13) To be continued, goodbye. The final chapter

. The sigh three years ago. Because of my cowardice, I decided to stop writing three years ago. If you continued, you would be like
Haruki Murakami, seemingly getting further and further away from the Nobel Prize, and my love seemed to be getting further and further away as well.

From that moment on, I wanted to pick up my pen and write again, at least it had to have an ending.

For a while, I became taciturn, afraid of light, afraid of being startled, afraid of insects, afraid of anything.
And I couldn't sleep at night. Ling noticed, and I thought I was just a little nervous.

More rest would do the trick. Yes, but who could listen to the cries in my heart? My girlfriend
couldn't . I couldn't recall the last image of my sister, the one who haunted my dreams. I could only glean some information from her Weibo
. Yes, only a group photo with the Youth Volunteer Association. I found nothing on QQ or WeChat.
With tears in my eyes, I slowly flipped through some of my sister's information.

Even across thousands of miles, I still fantasized that my sister would come to see me. My heart was pounding uncontrollably,
my stomach was rumbling, and my head was buzzing.

I felt like I needed sleeping pills, and lots of alcohol and cigarettes—only these could help me fall asleep.

That city holds so many memories for me, yet I can't go back. I have to fulfill my father's mission. Yes,
I could simply walk away. I said I wanted to go back, and who could stop me? Yes, my reasons are valid:
I love my sister, I love her. When I say this, my elders and Ling will slap me. How could you do
this? For your sister's sake, you can't love her.

I can only shout to the sky, "I love her," that's all.

Ling's father's urging, Ling's nightly companionship, her father's advice—I'm at a loss, like a puppet
, nodding in agreement.

We're going to get our marriage certificate, we're going to take wedding photos, we're going to quickly become a couple.

Years ago, my father was willing to sacrifice me for his own benefit, but
the night I had a heart-to-heart talk with him, his hair was already turning gray. I couldn't bear to recount my bold reasons; I didn't want anyone to be
heartbroken or saddened by my situation. I just nodded at everything he said. I ultimately lost the race against time. Time
healed the bitterness in my heart and brought about some changes.

I'm meeting You, or rather, our families are meeting.

What can I say to You? Will she happily bless me?

When our parents meet, the elders discuss business. My sister appears, but she's not as lively as before.
Of course, who can laugh after such emotional repression?

You and Ling are chatting happily, sitting together. I sit opposite them, and I don't dare ask. I can only
watch them whispering.

What will Ling say to my sister? What will my sister say to Ling? Will Ling, in a fit of anger,
reveal my relationship with You to everyone?

Everything unfolds like this. My inner tension slowly dissipates, and a smile appears on my lips.
No way, how could that be? Ling doesn't care at all, and my sister seems to have already forgotten about it.

Things have come full circle. We're siblings,
just . We'll both grow up, experience the ups and downs of life, have parents who accompany us through our childhood, have
beautiful childhoods, and unforgettable memories. I thought I was just running away, but it was actually
the best time to make a choice. If I continue to wallow in misery, my body will be submerged, and I'll slowly die.

It's been a long time since I last spoke to You during this meeting. We opened up about ordinary things, and for the first time, we didn't talk
about trivial matters between her and me, but about ourselves.

I wanted to laugh, and swallowed hard. It's over, finally over.

Although the wounds are still very visible, I don't have the ability to heal on my own.

I'm sorry everyone, it took me several months—no, half a year—to
break free . I've returned to the right path, and I hope my sister can too.

I'm sorry, I can't take my sister away to fly high, I can't live in anonymity…

All is resolved, all is back, all is well.

I hope my sister finds a good boyfriend and continues
to live . This is my best wishes as her brother. My sister and I were innocent and carefree

as children. May we both be well. Three years from now, I will add the final paragraph: there was no intimacy, no passion, but after three years, my mindset has changed drastically. I want to end this unforgettable memory. Whether it's true or not, just take it as a thought.

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