【My Thirty Years】(01-03) Author: strongv

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

Author: strongv
Word Count: 4577

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Unconsciously, I've already entered my forties. Thirty-odd years of life, not short, not long,
I've experienced much, loved much, felt much joy, and many regrets. Sometimes, in a half-dream, half-awake state, many
long-buried memories, things I've never dared to easily confide in anyone, repeatedly slip through my mind. I try to grasp
their shadows, but they quickly vanish into the boundless darkness. I hope I can also use my words to record
the bits and pieces of my experiences, to preserve these fragments of memory forever, as a memorial to the past.

01

I was born in the early 1980s, and the first half of my life was
spent in a southern provincial capital city, considered a second-tier city. My father was an ordinary civil servant; even now, in retirement, he hasn't been promoted to department-level,
but fortunately, he's a man of simple tastes. With no hope of promotion, he focuses more on his personal hobbies
(growing flowers and raising fish) and my education, finding contentment in his simple life. My mother used to work in
the office . She experienced the shock of mass layoffs, but thankfully my father had some connections and eventually
found a new job. Our family was, well, not rich, but not poor either—just an ordinary middle-class
family in the city.

I was always considered a "good kid" by everyone. I studied hard, wasn't too playful, and
my grades were always good, so my parents were quite confident in me. However, everyone has their little secrets, and I'm no
exception. My little secret is that I matured sexually quite early. At first, I probably discovered that touching
my penis felt good, so I would often play with it myself, which is probably the same for many children
. My parents quickly discovered and stopped me. But I soon discovered that if I rubbed my penis against
the bed frame , I would experience a strange sense of excitement. I remember first experiencing this excitement in second
grade. At that time, my penis would get a little bigger and thicker on its own—not a true
erection, but a similar reaction. Luckily, my family was relatively well-off back then, with a small two-
bedroom apartment (which was quite impressive at the time; I remember most of my classmates didn't have two bedrooms).
Because my parents wanted to cultivate my independence and self-reliance, they let me sleep alone in my small room after elementary school,
so my slouching while sleeping went unnoticed.

However, this didn't last long. I remember it was during summer vacation in third grade, I was home alone
one summer day, and I found my parents' collection of movie magazines.
The foreign actresses in the magazines, wearing skirts and showing off their white thighs, excited me immensely. While slouching on the bed frame was safe, it only stimulated
my imagination, and a child's imagination has limited scope, so it wasn't very satisfying. So I
climbed onto my bed, looking at the foreign actresses in the magazines, excitedly twisting and turning. And,
to make things easier, I even recklessly took off my shorts. Then, my dad suddenly came home and caught me.
Fortunately, he didn't scold me much, just told me it wasn't good for my health. Then he
took . Looking back now, I realize my father was quite open-minded; he handled things gently and didn't leave any negative impression on me. Later

, I tried to sneak peeks at the magazine a few more times without being caught. Because I experienced sexual pleasure so early, I developed a strong interest in my female classmates and teachers, especially them. In the late 80s and early 90s, social norms were relatively conservative, and female teachers generally dressed conservatively. However, in the summer, when it was hot and there were no fans in the classrooms (I remember fans only became common in classrooms after I entered junior high), the teachers wouldn't wear much. Seeing their full, beautiful breasts and shapely legs would excite me. Of course , I wasn't daring; I could only steal a few glances. I think many people have had similar experiences. I once read a post on Zhihu about teachers who gave them their sexual awakening, and I saw that many people had fantasized about their female teachers during their adolescence. In fourth grade, I got a new seatmate. It was a new transfer student named Li. She was quite pretty, tall, and well-developed. Because I had good grades, was relatively clean and tidy, and was helpful, we quickly became good friends. Of course, I didn't have any impure thoughts about her at first; after all, the person who attracted me most sexually at the time was still the beautiful and voluptuous music teacher. One day, in early summer, Li came to school, and I felt she was a little different that day. I quickly noticed that she was wearing a pretty dress and flesh-colored stockings. To be honest, this was the first time I had ever seen a female classmate wear stockings; I had only ever seen teachers or older women wearing them before. I was always curious about how long the stockings were, because I couldn't see them once they were inside her dress. I even suspected they were just a little bit inside, haha~ Honestly, my interest at the time was purely "academic." I really wanted to ask her, " How long are those stockings? Where do they go?" After school, I invited her to my house to play video games. I had a Famicom at home, which my uncle bought for me from Hong Kong, making me very proud among my classmates. Li had visited my house a few times before, and since her parents were my dad's colleagues, we were fairly familiar with them. She happily agreed to come over. When she arrived, no one was home (my parents often came home late, and I usually had to eat dinner by myself, though they had already prepared it for me), so we started playing games. Halfway through, I suddenly asked her, "How long are your stockings? Where do they go the longest?" I was quite nervous because I felt it was a bit inappropriate. But she didn't seem to mind at all, and generously replied, "They go all the way to my thighs." Then she actually lifted her skirt to show me. I was immediately excited ! I saw the flesh-colored stockings extending all the way to her upper thighs. She was quite well-developed, with rounded, beautiful thighs, and I swallowed hard. My voice was probably trembling as I asked, "Can I touch them?" She whispered, "Sure." So I started touching her thighs, feeling like my blood was rushing to my head. She squirmed , probably because she was ticklish. After touching her for a while, I suddenly heard the sound of a key turning in the door. Damn! I guessed my mom was back! Startled, I immediately pulled my hand away, and she quickly pulled her skirt down. When my mom saw us...

Meanwhile, we were already continuing our game. My mom didn't notice anything and greeted her. After finishing the
game, she said goodbye and went home.

The next day at school, she seemed perfectly fine, and being timid, I didn't dare say anything. A little over a year later, her
father was transferred to a county below as a leader, and she went with him. At that time, there was no corruption,
and I never saw her again.

03

Actually, during my childhood and adolescence, I had a huge secret, a
secret I never dared to mention or utter. Every time I thought of it, it would make me incredibly excited.

My family lived in a residential compound, where most of the residents were my father's colleagues, and we all
knew . As children of civil servants (then called cadres), most of us were relatively well-behaved and
obedient. Of course, there are all sorts of birds in a big forest, and there are always some exceptions. Sister Xin was
a typical . Sister Xin's father also worked in a government agency, but I heard he wasn't a cadre; he was probably an electrician.
I don't know what her mother did. I've known her since I was little. She's five years older than me, but only four grades ahead,
supposedly because she repeated a grade, though none of us dared to ask her about it. Sister Xin was
the big sister among the kids in the residential compound. She was a terrible student and a real troublemaker at school, always getting into fights with boys and
almost always winning. I once saw her fight a boy in her grade; she was like a madwoman,
beating that usually pretty tough guy until he was running away with his tail between his legs. I always had a deep sense of awe for her and
never dared to mess with her.

Sister Xin was actually quite pretty. She was tall and developed early, her breasts were already prominent. She was probably 150cm tall
by the time graduated elementary school, and she grew even taller in middle school
, with long, shapely legs that stretched her pants tightly (she never wore skirts), exuding a seductive charm.
However, even though I dared to peek at and fantasize about female teachers, I never dared to fantasize about her. Was I trying to get myself killed already?
Hehe~ Xin-jie and I are pretty close. We live in the same building but different units. We used to
run into each other downstairs or on our way to and from school. Every time I saw her, I would greet her. Sometimes she would respond happily if she was in a good mood
, and sometimes she would just give me a cold look and ignore me. Anyway, I was used to it.

Things changed during the summer vacation of third grade. At that time, Lido hadn't transferred to our school yet, and Xin-
jie was already a first-year junior high student (nowadays). I remember that the TV station was showing "The Legend of the Condor
Heroes , and we all loved watching it and never got tired of it. One day, two of my friends and I were playing downstairs
. It was a really hot day, and after playing for a while, we were all listless. At this time, Xin-jie came back from outside, still with a
cool look on her face, and glanced at us kids. I saw the videotape in her hand and asked, "Sister Xin,
what's that?" Normally, Sister Xin probably wouldn't have paid any attention to us, but that day she seemed to be in a good mood. She smiled
and said it was a videotape of "The Legend of the Condor Heroes," which her classmate had copied at home. We knew Sister Xin's family had
a VCR (it was a rare item back then; hers was supposedly a broken one her father had bought and then
fixed himself). Hearing it was "The Legend of the Condor Heroes," we got excited and asked if we could go to her house to watch the video. Sister Xin
chuckled and said, "Sure, but you have to buy me a soda." So we
happily went to the corner store and bought her a soda, and then she took us to her house.

At her house, we sat on the floor watching the videotape with the fan on (I remember it wasn't particularly hot that day, so the fan made it quite comfortable),
and we were incredibly happy. At this point, a scene came on that
might be familiar to those of us around the same age: Huang Rong, played by Barbara Yung, fainted (was she injured? I can't really remember the details), and
Ouyang Ke, overcome with lust, prepared to rape her. When we saw Ouyang Ke about to tear open Huang Rong's collar, wow,
we all excited (at least I was, haha). Looking back now, that scene was incredibly
innocent; it seems they didn't even tear her clothes, but it was a huge shock to us at the time.

Clearly, Sister Xin was also shocked. Before that, she was excitedly chattering away, but after that scene, she
stopped talking. A while later, after that episode ended, she suddenly said something that horrified us: "Do you guys
want to play a rape game?"

What was going on?! What was she trying to do?

Seeing that we were all dumbfounded, she used a super gentle voice (she doesn't usually speak like that) to entice
us, saying, "Here's what we'll do: I'll lie in bed, pretending to be asleep, and the three of you will pretend to be thieves and sneak in. When you see me,
you'll want to rape me." The three of us remained frozen in shock and bewildered. Then she said, "You guys just pretend like this, come
over here first." Okay, we think we understood. So the game began. She lay on her parents' big bed, pretending
to be asleep, eyes closed, cheeks flushed. I must say, Sister Xin looked really pretty then. The three of us tiptoed
over, pretending to be thieves. Then we went to her side and tried to take off her
pants . But her pants were so tight, we couldn't get them off.
So she moved herself, and her outer pants came off easily. She was wearing white boxer briefs, thin enough to reveal the shape of a peach underneath
. The three of us were dumbfounded, staring blankly, unable to move. After a while, seeing that we
hadn't snorted in dissatisfaction, pulled her briefs down halfway to her knees,
and whispered, "Touch them." The three of us looked at each other, my friends looking at me. As the
leader I had no choice but to steel myself and gently stroke her thighs. She slightly parted her legs, and I saw
her little sister, with tiny pinkish hairs, very cute. I felt like I
could hardly breathe, and I tremblingly stroked her peach with my finger, causing Xin Jie's body to tremble slightly.
Then she whispered, "Turn me over." So I helped her legs to turn her over, and she rolled
over herself, presenting her round bottom to us. At her command, we touched her bottom.
It felt so good !

After touching her bottom, she suddenly got up and put on her underwear. Then she said, "You three have seen
me, so I need to see you too, otherwise it's not fair." We could only nod in agreement. So at her command,
we also took off our pants (summer shorts, for convenience). At this point, I looked at my two friends; their
penises were still very small, showing no signs of development. As for me, because I started rubbing myself in second grade, it's only now...
This stimulation had already made me a little hard, and a small part of my glutes had also risen. She looked at us, ordered
us to lie down, and then took a ruler to spank us. She hit one of my friends first, not hard,
just a few loud slaps. At that moment, I suddenly felt inexplicably scared. I pulled up my pants and ran out. When she
saw me running, she yelled frantically, "XX, you dare to run? I'll never talk to you again!" I still
frantically opened the door and ran. But my two friends didn't come out.

I hid downstairs and waited and waited. Five minutes later, the two guys came down. I asked them what happened,
and they said that Sister Xin was a pervert and had beaten them up. It was all my fault. So I bought each of them a bottle as an apology.
They said that Sister Xin had instructed that no one could tell anyone about this, or she would kill them. Uh... Sister Xin is
a female demon who keeps her word, and besides, the three of us really didn't dare to say anything. It seemed like that was the end of it.

Actually, this was just the beginning...

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