[I Started Being Lewd Behind My Boyfriend's Back] (Revised Edition) (Confusing Sex and Love) (04) Author: Makeface

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

Author: makeface
Word Count: 8487

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Chapter 4 – All for Love

“If I gave my body for our love, would you still love me?”

—xx year xx month xx day

*************************************************

“Are you crazy? Yao Kexi—!” Yu Jie looked at me with an incredulous expression, a
complex mix of anger, disappointment, sympathy, and sadness.

I looked firmly into Yu Jie’s eyes, trying to show my unwavering decision, and said calmly, “I’m not crazy,
I know what I’m doing. Please help me, make love to me.”

“…………” Yu Jie held his head with both hands, leaned against the table, took a deep breath, and slowly asked,
“Is he… really worth you sacrificing like this for him?…”

I remained silent, only able to lower my head.

"Bang—!" He slammed his fist on the table, knocking over a water glass and splashing
documents ; a pen holder fell to the floor, and a handful of pens scattered on the corner.

****************************************

Since I can remember, or rather, since I met Yu-Chieh as a child, I've never seen him
angry .

My memories are filled with his smiles, his sadness, his sympathy, his happiness, his humor, his
sarcasm, and so on. But now, facing this "unseen him," I feel somewhat lost.

He was silent, and I was silent too, as if the air itself sensed something and fell silent as well.

Only the ticking of the clock filled the examination room, providing the loudest
background music .

I know…

I've always known… why

Yu-Chieh is angry.

Because he…

has always… liked me.

This request feels like torture for him, like taking advantage of his feelings for me. But, I'm sorry,
I can't place you in the place of love in my heart; I can only keep you forever in
the place

After a moment of silence, he leaned on the table and slowly stood up,
saying to me with extreme calm, "Take it off..."

"Mmm..." I replied softly, my heart churning, but I still got up and began to remove my
clothes .

Yu-Jie also began to unbutton his shirt, taking off his jacket, belt, and trousers.

We looked at each other, both of us still wearing our underwear. This was the last
moment , before anything happened...

In the brief silence, Yu-Jie suddenly spoke, "Introduce yourself... the weirder the better..."

"Introduce myself?" I looked at him, confused.

"Mmm... the weirder the better... so I can convince myself that the person in front of me isn't you, but just someone who resembles you..." he
said expressionlessly, or rather, extremely calmly.

"Hmm..." I nodded in agreement to his request, thinking, "That's right... I might as well go all out... like
a drunkard..."

"Ahem..." I cleared my throat and said playfully, "Hello, my name is Yao Kexi. I'm 30
years old, 158 cm tall, my weight is a secret, and my measurements are 82/60/85,
which is an E cup in Japan... uh...

uh... shall we continue?"

"Continue..." Yu Jie said calmly, "...not strange enough..."

"Uh..." I didn't know what to say for a moment and could only stammer, "I am... an
Asian woman... uh... but I can speak some English... I'm a writer... uh... I have a boyfriend... uh..."

"Continue... not enough..."

"What should I say to make it strange?" I thought anxiously.

Suddenly, I realized why I was here. I figured my condition must be strange enough… So
I started to say, “Uh…uh…uh…uh…uh…I…I’m sick…because I…was
flirted with and did that with other men near my boyfriend…”

I felt a little embarrassed introducing myself like this, but I continued, “Now…I can’t have sex with my boyfriend
…I can only have sex with other men first…so…the doctor said I have PTSD…and then…and then…in order to
have that with my boyfriend…I…I…begged my best friend…to have…have…have…sex with me…and…that is…”

“Enough!” Yu-jie snapped, abruptly interrupting me.

For a moment, time seemed to stand still. After a few seconds, Yu-jie resumed his usual gentle voice,
but with a choked sob, saying, “Enough…that’s enough…don’t say anymore…I really…really…can’t listen to this…”

He was very sad, looking quite heartbroken. Was it the powerlessness of a doctor? Or
the helplessness of a best friend?

He really wanted to help me, but seemed unable to cross the mental chasm between us. I wondered if he regretted
telling , if he could just give me some antidepressants, sleeping pills, or something like that, and then lie to me that everything
was fine?

Seeing him like this, I knew that if I stopped here today, I would be betraying Yu-Jie and Xiao-Cheng, because
it would be like offering half my body, yet my condition wouldn't improve. So I spoke softly, like comforting a child:
"Yu-Jie... in this life that's like a play... we're all constantly playing different roles... right now you're the doctor
... and I'm just your patient... you should try to let go of the role of 'friend'... and focus on being a good doctor..."

"A play?... wait..." Yu-Jie seemed to have thought of something, staring straight at me, silent for a long time,
then suddenly shouted excitedly: "Let's act!"

"What?" I was startled by his strange reaction and asked, puzzled, "What play?"

"Hahaha... I'm so smart! No, it's all thanks to your reminder!" Yu Jie suddenly became as happy as
a child , putting on his clothes as he said, "I've found a way to 'cure' you!"

Watching him put his clothes back on one by one, while I looked at myself wearing only underwear, I immediately
blushed and put my clothes back on one by one. I think the scene must have been quite comical.

Yu-Jie quickly put on his back seat and returned to his office chair, immediately explaining to me happily, "The basic principle is actually
the same as masturbation. Some people call it 'spontaneous orgasmic response,' while others call it '
orgasm .'"

"You mean you can orgasm just by thinking about it?" I couldn't help but
ask "I think... that's too difficult..."

"Yes, it's difficult." He answered me simply, but continued to explain enthusiastically, "Some people say that a woman's
real sex organ is her brain, and that's correct! But not everyone can give
themselves enough sexual stimulation through sexual fantasies alone, like you! So, let's act it out ourselves to enhance the stimulation received by the brain.
As long as the stimulation is sufficient, there's no need for actual sex."

Thinking about having a treatment method that doesn't require such "awkwardness," I was indeed quite happy. This way
, I wouldn't need to feel sorry for Xiao-Cheng. Even if there was still sexual provocation in the acting, I
had enough trust in Yu-Jie. Moreover, according to Yu-Jie, I could treat acting as long-term practice. If the training was done properly,
that is, to control the brain, I could even close my eyes and fantasize about orgasms in the future.

Simply put, I can have sex with Xiaocheng just by closing my eyes, almost back to how it was before, and
maybe even enjoy it more.

This sudden inspiration was like a treasure to us, and we excitedly began discussing the "plot."
But apart from plays from our student days, we had little acting experience, so Yujie suggested maintaining the "doctor-
patient relationship."

The plot was roughly like this: the patient (me) consults a psychologist (
Yujie , and the unscrupulous psychologist (Yujie) deliberately uses words, actions, and other methods to seduce the patient
(me) under the guise of treatment, and the patient (me) slowly succumbs to the provocation.

Yes, that's right, very cliché.

However, this plot is a typical script from Japanese adult films, but for us newcomers
to acting, performing better than the male and female leads in adult films is already a huge challenge.

There was no time to prepare the lines, and on the other hand, simply memorizing a script would make us sound robotic and
unnatural. Therefore, we decided to improvise.

After the discussion, Yu-Chieh smiled at me and said, "Don't laugh!"

A feeling of excitement and stimulation welled up inside me. I hoped this method would work, so I nodded
nervously and said, "Okay! We'll act until the 'dawdling' part, and then we won't stop until I 'arrive'!"

"Three, two, one!...Go—!"

"Ahem..." Yu-Chieh, pretending to be a serious doctor, cleared his throat and asked me, "Are you Ms. Yao Ke-Xi
? What's wrong?"

"Doctor..." I said, pretending to be embarrassed, "I think I'm a little... you know..."

"Miss, could you speak a little louder?" Yu-Chieh said impatiently, "This? Which?
I can't understand you like this!"

"I'm... I'm sorry..." I lowered my head nervously and apologized, "It's... it's just... I think... I'm a little
... a little... frigid..."

"Hmm... how long has it been?" Yu-jie asked, typing on his computer as if he were taking notes. "And... how
did you find out ?"

Seeing Yu-jie so engrossed in acting like a serious doctor made me chuckle. It
was such a contrast to his usual self that I couldn't help but smile. But I forced myself to remain calm and continued playing the role of a shy girl, saying, "
About ... a month... and... when I'm intimate with my boyfriend... I don't feel anything at all... but... it wasn't like this before
..."

"Have you been taking any medications or health supplements?"

"No."

"Have you experienced any related trauma? Or been bullied, etc.? Have you been mistreated at work?"

"No."

"Do you have any special medical conditions? Like..."

"No..."

Yu-jie continued asking a few questions while taking notes on his computer, just like a serious doctor screening and diagnosing
a patient's condition . I couldn't help but think, "He... won't he forget he's acting for a moment?..."

"Okay... Ms. Yao, would you mind explaining how you and your boyfriend interact in bed?" Yu-jie
turned to me and asked seriously.

"It's...it's...every time...he would kiss me first...and then immediately rub my genitals...and then...like that
..." I said, my voice trailing off as I feigned shyness.

"Every time?" Yu-jie asked, then slowly walked over and sat down in the chair next to me.
"Does this...feel comfortable?" "

I...I don't know...I only remember it hurting so much every time...and I had to pretend it was comfortable...so...
I'm wondering...am I frigid?" I said helplessly, sounding like I was about to cry.

"Ms. Yao, I don't think this is your problem!" Yu-jie crossed his legs, placed his hands on his knees, and adopted a very
firm attitude. "Excuse me, but for accuracy, I need to touch your breasts. Is that alright
?"

"Breasts..." I looked surprised and shy, then nodded, blushing.

Yu Jie walked over to me and slowly placed his hands on the bottom edge of my bra. I could feel his
hands trembling, like a virgin who had never touched a woman's body before. He continued, "Do you feel anything special?"

"No...no..."

"Then could you please take off your bra and top? I think it'll be more precise that way!" After saying that, he quickly
withdrew his hands and hid them behind his back. I could tell he was trying to hide his nervousness.

"Mmm..." I nodded shyly, slowly pulling up my top, folding it neatly, and placing it on the table. Then, I reached behind my back,
and with a "pop," the back clasp of my bra came undone. I slowly
took off the shoulder straps, wrapped them around my arms, and, holding the cups, pulled the bra off my breasts, revealing my full breasts to Yu Jie.

I saw Yu Jie swallow hard, then, feigning composure, he placed his trembling hands on my breasts again.

I felt incredibly shy, yet also incredibly amused, especially when I felt his inexperienced, trembling, yet warm hands
enveloping my breasts, his touches light and almost imperceptible, making my vulva feel slightly wet.

He gently kneaded them from behind, as if afraid of damaging what was in his hands, only daring to apply
small pressure around my breasts. Although his technique was lacking, I was gradually being brought to my senses by his virgin-like...
The movements aroused me, and I felt my body was seducing a naive young boy,
feeling a woman's allure.

"How do you feel?" Yu-jie asked softly. "

It's... a feeling I've never experienced before... a little itchy... a little shy... and also a little comfortable... so strange
..." I said shyly. It would be a lie to say I hadn't experienced it before, but the comfortable feeling was real.

"Hmm... that's normal, which means you seem normal for now, but I still need to do more testing..." After he
finished speaking, he began to gently pinch my nipples with his fingers. My nipples instinctively hardened due to the stimulation, a little painful,
but also a little comfortable.

His hands seemed to slowly stop trembling and began to vigorously rub my breasts, occasionally
stimulating my nipples. I closed my eyes slightly in this unique experience, purely enjoying it,
occasionally letting out soft moans when my nipples were overstimulated: "Mmm—! Ah—!"

Slowly, Yu Jie removed his hands and resumed his serious demeanor, saying to me, "Ahem!
Um … Miss Yao, your body seems normal at the moment, but just to be on the safe side, I need you to lie down
on that recliner and remove your underwear and other clothing for a more precise examination."

I knew the key point of this scene was about to be revealed, and I felt both nervous and shy. Right now, it all
felt like an unprecedented stimulation. I knew that as long as I masturbated when I was extremely excited, I could gradually control
my brain.

I got up, taking off my underwear and pants as I lay down on the large recliner where I had masturbated last time,
my legs slightly apart. When a slight cool breeze blew across my genitals, I knew I was a little wet.

Yu-Jie walked up to me and started taking off his pants and underwear, revealing an erect penis.

His penis was somewhat pale, not particularly long or thick, but felt very hard and firm.

"Doctor...doctor...what are you doing? Why...why are you taking off your pants?" I continued to feign
surprise , pretending to be terrified.

Yu-Jie maintained his professional demeanor and said, "Please calm down, Ms. Yao. To more accurately determine if you are
frigid, I think rubbing against a real object, a real penis, is the best way!"

Here it comes! Here it comes! The key point of this scene: "rubbing"! We discussed using rubbing and masturbation to help me reach
orgasm, so I pretended to nod, like an innocent girl saying, "Hmm...I understand..."

After Yu-Jie finished speaking, he pressed his erect penis against my vulva. I watched nervously, my vulva
involuntarily contracting, as if sensing the penis nearby, and began to secrete vaginal fluid.

His hot glans gently probed in, splitting the deep crevice in two, allowing the pink
labia to softly press against it. Then, he slowly moved and rubbed back and forth within the thick pubic hair-covered honey hole,
causing my two pink, thick labia to swell and become engorged with blood, slightly parted.

Under such caresses, my labia minora seemed to swell and become engorged with blood as well, the entrance of my vagina
soaked with my love juice. The movement of his glans became increasingly smooth with the help of my love juice, and I could even see the glans, covered in my
love juice having a smooth and bright reflection.

I gradually opened my thighs, only to hear Yu Jie say mockingly, "Heh...it seems Miss Yao is
n't frigid, no, I think she's just frigid with her boyfriend...my 'detector' is soaked with your lustful fluids
..."

"Ugh...um...um...um..." Upon hearing such lewd words, my cheeks began to burn, and
although I protested, I also began to moan.

Yu Jie's penis roamed freely over my vulva, as if it were his own special track. When it
passed a certain spot, the tender pink flesh of my vagina was squeezed out by his penis, making me tremble with excitement.

Suddenly, my body jolted, and I let out a soft cry, "Ah—!" It seemed my overly
wet vulva had accidentally sucked Yu Jie's penis in a little, the tip of the glans momentarily entering
my vagina.

"Sorry…" Yu Jie realized he had accidentally inserted it and, for a moment, forgot his place and apologized.

But my emotions were just building up, and I didn't want Yu-jie's apology to ruin the whole scene, so I gently
parted my labia majora with my hands, revealing my translucent, moist, and bright red vulva, and said coquettishly, "Doctor... I'm... sorry...

your... testing... method... has made my body... feel... strange. Is this... examination...
normal?"

Seeing my expression, Yu-jie was a little stunned, but he quickly recovered and resumed his serious
doctor demeanor, saying, "Of course this is a normal examination. If Miss Yao could touch your clitoris with your fingers
, I would know where the problem is."

So I closed my eyes slightly and gently rubbed and felt the soft, moist heat of my clitoris. While rubbing,
sometimes the head of my penis would hit my erect clitoris, making me unable to control myself and let out a sound, and that alluring moan would make
my penis move even faster.

As the penis rubbed rapidly and forcefully, my thighs involuntarily squeezed together, and I felt
strong contractions inside my vagina. A stream of hot, sticky fluid overflowed from my opening.

"Mmm...mmm...mmm...mmm...mmm...mmm..." I moaned incessantly. I found the feeling of impending
penetration incredibly stimulating. The sensation of my fingers rubbing my clitoris made me feel even better; it was as if I were
masturbating with Yu-Jie's penis.

"Oh...mmm...oh...mmm..."

Soon, my love juices flowed more and more like a gushing spring. My fair thighs were slippery, and with
the back-and-forth teasing of the penis, my labia majora were engorged and glistening, opening and closing incessantly.

"I want it...I want it so much..." my heart screamed, but I couldn't. I needed to restrain myself.
So I tried
even .

"Miss Yao, we need to do a final check. Please move forward, thank you," Yu Jie suddenly
said softly.

"What... final... check?" I asked, panting.

"It means please lie forward on the slope of the chair. I will place the 'detector' under the slope at the entrance.
I won't use my hands or move it. Please lift your legs and let them slide freely down the chair. Of course, you can use your hands
to hold me for support so I can check your tightness." He explained this lewd scene calmly, as if
he wasn't involved, so composed.

"Come on...come on...bear with it..." I tried my best to encourage myself. I knew that Yu Jie was giving me the biggest
stimulation in my fantasy, and the rest of the imagination was what I needed to work on myself.

My body slowly slid down, my hands on his chest, my tightly clenched vagina pressing against his glans.
I moaned as I imagined what would happen next, feeling the stimulation from the touch of his glans. My body
twisted involuntarily with excitement, and images of his penis penetrating me kept flashing through my mind.

"Miss Yao, just a little longer, just a little longer, keep going." Yu Jie also knew that this was the most tense
moment. As long as I could fantasize properly, it would be a success for the first time. However, he seemed to
be experiencing . When I touched his body, I could feel the trembling from him. He was also enduring it.

My body was burning hot; I fully understood what it meant to be consumed by lust. Yet, I continued to hold onto
Yu-Jie 's chest, keeping our genitals pressed together, using my imagination to control my desire. I
kneaded my breasts, imagining all sorts of blush-inducing lovemaking scenarios, hoping to reach orgasm quickly.
Meanwhile, my vaginal opening kept sucking, sucking on Yu-Jie's glans.

"So hard…so hot…" I gradually shifted my focus from above to below; the allure of that penis was too strong.
I couldn't control my attention to its every movement. "So itchy…I want it so bad…I really…I want it so bad…"

What should I do? What should I do? I felt my buttocks tighten, my lower body muscles contracting faster and faster.
I really wanted him inside me.

"Haa…haa…haa…haa…haa…haa…" I moaned softly.

No! I have to hold back!

Come on! Ke-Xi!

Suddenly, a tingling sensation, like an electric current, coursed through my body, slowly spreading to my brain. My mind
went blank , and I felt like my body wasn't my own.

Could this be... the climax I'd been imagining? This feeling was an indescribable bliss!

But the feeling was fleeting...

"Bang! Bang! Bang!" The door to the examination room was being pounded on, and I was instantly pulled back to reality.

"Sir, please don't do this...!" The nurse sounded both nervous and on the verge of tears.

"Xiao Xi! Come out! We shouldn't trust this quack doctor anymore!" Xiao Cheng called out excitedly outside the examination room door.

"Xiao Cheng!" I heard Xiao Cheng's voice and trembled in surprise, but this tremor made my
arm go limp for a moment.

I couldn't help but let out a soft cry, "Ahhhhh!"

Unexpectedly, my vaginal fluid was still flowing freely. Without the support of my arm, the wet,
sticky fluid slid Yu-Jie's penis deep into my vagina. His unprotected penis was
forcefully inserted into my honeypot, and I could feel it swelling and throbbing inside.

I was stunned.

Yu-Jie was stunned too.

We looked at each other, not expecting things to turn out this way. We

only heard the nurse trying to calm the enraged Xiao-Cheng, saying, "Sir, you're scaring the other
patients…please stop, or I'll call the police…"

"Call the police!" Xiao-Cheng said angrily, continuing to bang on the examination room door.

Hearing Xiao-Cheng's furious shouts, we were all quite tense, especially given the situation. Without
a word, Yu-Jie immediately pulled out his penis and turned to get toilet paper to wipe away
the fluid .

Perhaps this description is somewhat inappropriate, but we were like a couple about to be caught cheating, relying on
the tacit understanding built up in childhood. While he was wiping, I tidied his clothes to the side, especially fastening his belt to
his pants first, then putting on my own underwear. While he was throwing away toilet paper, he helped me fasten the back clasp of
my bra before turning back to put on his own clothes.

In less than a minute, we were both dressed, and the environment was back to normal. The only thing that hadn't subsided
was the tension in our hearts.

Yu-Jie winked at me and said, "We'll contact each other via text message later... I'll handle this..." Then
he walked towards the door.

"I was wondering which dog was barking......" Yu-Jie resumed his teasing tone, "Turns out it's
Mr. 'Woof' Zhongcheng arriving..."

"Where's Xiao-Xi?" Xiao-Cheng ignored Yu-Jie, rushed in as soon as the door opened, looking for my spot.

After he found me sitting comfortably in the chair, he chuckled and patted his chest in relief, but then glared
angrily at Yu Jie: "Why didn't you open the door?"

"Have you ever heard of opening the door when a dog barks outside?" Yu Jie said with a smile,
deliberately provoking Xiao Cheng. "You bastard!" Xiao Cheng swung a punch, landing

heavily on Yu Jie's cheek before he could react . "Ah—!" "Ah————!" The nurse who happened to walk over and witness this scene and I screamed in unison. Yu Jie instantly fell to the ground, then slowly propped himself up. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth, but he still smiled at Xiao Cheng. "This punch… I admit I'm a quack… I'm willing to let you hit me… after all, I didn't handle Xiao Xi's condition properly from the beginning …" Yu Jie stared at Xiao Cheng and said slowly. He then spat out a mouthful of blood and continued, "But... I've found a cure... If you 're a man... protect her heart at all times..." Xiao Cheng stared at Yu Jie lying on the ground for a long while. The three of us remained silent, not making a sound, or rather, not knowing what to say. I knew Yu Jie had initially provoked Xiao Cheng to distract and prevent me from being at a loss when Xiao Cheng questioned me. But I didn't expect them to actually fight... Was it all my fault? "Ouch, Dr. Jiang, get up quickly! The floor is dirty!" "Doctor! Call the police! This madman kept banging on the door, he scared me to death!" "Hey, hey, hey, what's going on now?..." The other patients waiting to be seen started chattering amongst themselves. Xiao Cheng seemed impatient listening to the pointing and whispering about him, only saying, "I know without you telling me!... Xiao Xi, let's go!" "Yu Jie..." I looked at Yu Jie, then at his wound, which was quite deep. I felt extremely guilty. "I'm... no..." "It's me who should apologize... Go on..." Yu Jie looked at me with a bitter smile, silently saying, "See you next time."

"I wonder how many more three-year periods will pass...?"

Xiao Cheng drove me home.

He didn't ask me anything about the clinic, which was quite unusual; he was unusually silent. He only
asked if I wanted a bento box, bought it for dinner, and then drove me home.

I carried the bento box to my room alone, feeling that everything that had happened today had changed so quickly,
so very quickly.

Before I could even process what was happening, my phone pinged. It was a message from Yu-Jie:

_________________________________________________________________ Yu-Jie _________________________________________________________________

[I think you should be home by now.]

[I'm sorry about today's accident...]

[I think it's probably inconvenient for you to come over anytime soon.]

[The rest is up to you to train...find it in your daily life.] [Let

me know anytime

.] [I won't bother you anymore...] [Okay, thank you, Yu-Jie.]

_________________________________________________________________

I turned off my phone and began to think slowly...

Today, at the very last moment of climax, I was...taken in.

In those few short seconds.

Cheating refers to infidelity.

However, I did that for Xiao-Cheng.

Am I cheating?

If I felt excited during that moment

, does that count as cheating?

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