[Bifurcation] (34-50) Author: Su Jing

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

Author: Su Jing
Word Count: 80133

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Chapter Thirty-Four

After spending a night in Melbourne, they went to the renowned Great Ocean Road
. This was Liang Chen's last day in Australia. Qin Xiaoyu's mind echoed countless times with Liang Chen's
words. Yes, seven days, only seven days. Qin Xiaoyu didn't think Liang Chen would
come back ; at most, Qin Xiaoyu would just return to China once… Now there was only one day left. What should she do?
How could she act like a devoted wife? How could she comfort Liang Chen during his future lonely days? At this moment,
Robert should be the curtain on the stage, lifted, pushed to the unseen sides, while she and Liang Chen
should be fluttering in every corner of the stage.

Therefore, Qin Xiaoyu tried her best to appear affectionate. For example, she started snuggling up to Liang Chen in the car. At
the archway at the beginning of the Great Ocean Road, she started clamoring for Jessica to
take a picture . So much so that at every subsequent attraction, they
would get out of the car, the three of them embracing or hugging, always foolishly posing with peace signs for photos. After Liang Chen posted the photos on WeChat Moments, Qin Xiaoyu would like and
comment , their frequent interactions, playful and ambiguous in tone, drawing envy from their mutual friends. Even at London Bridge
, they pretended to kiss, their bodies forming an arch, a charming contrast to the bridge.

Jessica couldn't help but say to Robert, "Look at that family of three, I'm so envious."

Robert smiled gently and said, "You have moments like this too."

"It's a pity Lao Wang isn't around often."

"Having more space and time for yourself is good too."

"Hmm... I can't quite put my finger on it. Sometimes I feel relaxed, sometimes I feel bored... Don't you feel
lonely being alone? Having a home is so lively. And having someone with you and not having anyone with you are two different feelings. One is
very reassuring, stable, and reliable, the other... sigh, never mind, you must understand." Jessica
asked.

"I'm used to it. Having someone else means a lot more compromise. If it's not from the heart, it's easy to get tired."

"That's selfish of you. Two people adapting and changing together is a very happy thing. Look at
those two, married for so many years, they still seem so inseparable."

"Okay, maybe, but everyone has their own aspirations, right?"

Jessica shrugged helplessly.

The grandeur of the Great Ocean Road was indeed breathtaking. For a moment, everyone just stood in the crowd, watching the
white waves surge and recede tirelessly on the azure sea. Some
waves crash against the rocks on the shore, splashing up even more white mist. When illuminated by the right angle of light, they
create a dazzling rainbow. The formation of the two peaks is the result of the relentless action of these waves and
storms , being washed and eroded, yet also illuminated and comforted by different kinds of light… The twelve apostles
stand like pilgrims, silent yet full of power. They whisper with heaven and earth in the wind, part and reunite with the sun and moon,
gaze upon the vastness of nature and the irreversible passage of time. The comings and goings of people, whether laughing or crying, regardless of
the love or hate in their hearts, regardless of the length of the future, ultimately amount to nothing here, sometimes less than a grain of sand on
the beach .

These proudly standing rocks, eroded and weakened by the years, may one day collapse…
as if merely to illustrate a principle of existence and demise in the long river of time.

The ocean was a deep, azure blue, stretching endlessly into the distance beyond our sight. Only near the beach
did the water turn a vibrant emerald green, with white waves blooming atop this verdant expanse. Looking up,
the sky was high and blue, dotted with low-hanging, cotton-candy-like clouds that seemed within reach.
Occasionally, helicopters would hover overhead, offering panoramic views of the Great Ocean Road to tourists.

"Mommy, Mommy, isn't the sea blue? Why is it green here?" Annie asked Qin Xiaoyu.

"If the water is particularly clear, it will appear blue-green in the shallower areas under the sunlight, and the deeper the water, the bluer and
more intense the color. Look at the distance, isn't it a deep blue?"

"Oh, I see… Mommy and Daddy, can we ride in an airplane too? Those airplanes are so small, they look so
fun!" Annie said, pointing to the helicopters overhead.

Qin Xiaoyu and Liang Chen exchanged a glance and said, "How about we buy tickets?"

"Buy them." Liang Chen hesitated only for a moment. "It's rare to come here with my wife and kids."

They asked Robert and Jessica if they wanted to come along. Jessica
readily agreed, but Robert said he didn't want to.

When they arrived at the ticket counter, Liang Chen saw that it was AU$145 per person for 10 minutes. If it were a one-hour flight,
it would cost . He almost cried out in disbelief... In the end, he gritted his teeth and bought 10-minute
helicopter sightseeing tickets. Jessica also bought tickets for the same price and bought one for Robert as well
. She explained to Robert, "The helicopter carries three people at a time. I didn't want to share with others,
so I bought it for you. Consider it my treat, okay?"

"Thank you." Robert wasn't so insistent anymore.

After the six people took a helicopter in two batches and circled the Great Ocean Road for 10 minutes, they were indeed amazed by its magnificence and
the wonders of nature. Liang Chen quietly said to Qin Xiaoyu, "This flight was painful to watch.
It felt like money was just falling from the sky. Ten minutes, 2,200 RMB! It was like a shower of flowers. That
image kept stuck in my mind."

"It is expensive, but at least it didn't go to anyone else. Look at how happy Annie is, you'll think... it was
worth it. You're really something, you've already spent the money, why make yourself so unhappy?"

"How can I be happy? My monthly salary is 5,000 RMB, theirs is 5,000
AUD. If our family flies twice, we'll be starving this month, while their family of three can fly ten times and still not have enough
... Take phones, for example, my monthly salary isn't even enough for an iPhone 5s, while they can buy one a week and
still

have money to spare. I'm working overtime all the time, while they have complete personal time after work and on their days off... that's the difference." "There's nothing we can do, but don't sigh so much. At least you don't have to sell a kidney to buy an iPhone, be thankful."

Qin Xiaoyu and Liang Chen returned to their old, mundane routine, a feeling that was naturally warm and comforting.
This alleviated much of Liang Chen's anxiety caused by overspending.

After driving along the Great Ocean Road, they chose to head straight back, continuing to look for Big4 campsites to rest along the way.

On the return trip, they opted for the inland route, avoiding the coastal path, as Rob
Ert suggested. Interestingly, along the way, they not only saw wild kangaroos but also wild
koalas , which made the two children jump and shout with excitement. They were especially thrilled to see a koala crossing the road, its four paws
moving with a graceful, slow, and endearing gait. Even Rob Ert remarked that such a sight was rare,
something he had never seen in all his years living in Australia, which further excited them. Liang Chen quickly recorded
a short video, which they shared among themselves, showing it off to their friends and family back home.

At six o'clock in the evening, they arrived at a campsite, where they had dinner with
some . Almost every campsite had a self-service BBQ grill, just
like many parks, mainly for citizens to use on weekends. What
surprised Qin Xiaoyu, Liang Chen, and Jessica during this trip wasn't the stunning scenery, but rather the fact that no matter how remote the mountainous area, even
in the primeval forest, every public restroom had toilet paper—without exception. This detail deeply impressed
them. They imagined that in China, that toilet paper would be endlessly snatched up by all sorts of middle-
aged .

After dinner, the two children played with several blond-haired kids at the campsite's children's playground.
Qin Xiaoyu then took Liang Chen's hand and asked if he wanted to go for a walk around. Although it was completely dark, with only a few lights on in
the campsite , most areas were still dark. Liang Chen readily agreed. This was the last
night he could spend with Qin Xiaoyu. They arrived in Sydney on Sunday night and wouldn't be able to rest; he had a red-eye
flight , and after packing, he had to head straight to the airport. So, this was a rare opportunity.

They walked hand in hand from the edge of the camp, which was situated beside a lake, and soon reached
the lakeside. Because it was winter, the lakeside was quiet and deserted.

"The thought of you going back again, alone, makes me feel uneasy," Qin Xiaoyu said. These words
truly came from the bottom of her heart. Although it was Liang Chen returning to China, she felt as if she had abandoned him.

"I don't want to leave you and Annie either, but... there's no other way. Just bear with it. Two years won't be that hard to get through.
Look back at two years ago now, doesn't it seem like just yesterday?"

"Yeah, two years ago at this time, in July, we were sweating buckets in Beijing, enduring the summer heat."

"Hmm, two years ago in July, we did something else, remember?"

"I remember, we said we'd go to the mountains at night to photograph star trails, but when we got there with all our equipment, we found there weren't many stars,
so we came back."

"Yeah, look at us now. If we had a DSLR and a tripod, we'd have absolutely amazing star trail photos."

Qin Xiaoyu also looked up at the star-filled sky, especially the Milky Way, its tiny, shimmering lights like ripples
on water, stretching across the horizon.

"So beautiful." Qin Xiaoyu took a deep breath of the crisp air.

"Actually, I wanted to have sex with you outdoors that day, but those poor stars ruined my mood
."

Qin Xiaoyu seemed to realize something, a wave of fear washing over her, but she still joked, "Really?
You can connect that to anything? But let me tell you, not tonight, it's too cold, and what if someone sees us
?"

"Haha, you really are my wife, we're on the same wavelength."

"This is a campsite, people are staying everywhere."

"Look around, where's anyone?"

"Just because there isn't anyone now doesn't mean there won't be later."

"It's enough that there isn't anyone now, I can't go at it for an hour."

"Get lost!"

"Come on."

"But it's so cold!"

"Aren't we both 37 degrees Celsius?"

"You really think that way... It's so weird, it's the middle of the night, and it's cold."

"I don't want to think like that either, but look at me, in the past few days, has there ever been a single day, a single bed left
undisturbed for us? Maybe we'll see each other again in two years at most, can you really bear to?"

"You sound so desperate, as if we'll never see each other again?"

"Who knows? What can I do if Robert runs off with you?"

"Don't talk nonsense."

"Really." As he spoke, Liang Chen hugged Qin Xiaoyu.

"No."

"Just a kiss."

Liang Chen kissed Qin Xiaoyu.

That's how women are; their bodies are like doors. Some are on their lips, some behind their ears, some on
their necks , some on their breasts... Once you force your way in, the subsequent rampage isn't so difficult.

"Just a touch, just to warm my hands, okay?" Liang Chen's tone was obedient and ingratiating.

Okay, Liang Chen's hands slipped inside Qin Xiaoyu's shirt from behind, first caressing her, then naturally
unhooking her bra. He turned her around, making her face away from him, then naturally grasped her breasts with both hands and began to knead them.

"No." Qin Xiaoyu twisted her body, trying to stop him.

But how could a man stop at this moment?

Her door was already open; Liang Chen's time to rampage had arrived. He switched to using one hand to fondle her breasts,
while the other quickly pulled down Qin Xiaoyu's pants. She was wearing casual pants with an elastic waistband, making them very easy to remove.

And so, half-heartedly, in the chilly Australian winter night, by the tranquil lake,
under the shimmering light of the Milky Way, Qin Xiaoyu and Liang Chen completed another act of union. Liang Chen thrust into her from behind, while Qin Xiaoyu
's hands braced against a eucalyptus tree opposite them. At one point, accompanied by a suffocating breath,
she even tore off a piece of bark with her fingers… Yes, it was
that struggle a woman experiences when she's at or near climax. Actually, her body didn't bring her any sense of ecstasy, but since she'd already done it, why not make it
perfect? She couldn't shout out loud, so she suppressed a low moan, concentrated her strength in
a certain part of her body, and used her fingers to make an unbearable gesture, as if trying to embed herself into the tree trunk… and thus,
a piece of .

"Comfortable, isn't it?" Liang Chen asked as he pulled up his pants.

"Hmm...look..." She placed the piece of bark in front of Liang Chen like a trophy,
not even bothering to pull up her pants first.

"I can feel it, you're even more excited than last time, and I feel especially good too." Liang Chen said,
taking the bark and used tissue from Qin Xiaoyu's hand. He crumpled the tissue and carefully put the bark into his back
pocket.

"Don't litter, keep it for now, we'll throw it in the trash can later," Qin Xiaoyu instructed.

"Do I look like such a rude person? Do you really not know me, or have you forgotten?"

"No, you're overthinking it. I'm afraid you'll be in a hurry and throw it away if you can't find the trash can."

"No, my dear wife... By the way, let me tell you, if I couldn't get you pregnant last time, I'm
sure I will this time. And let me tell you, babies born when both of us reach orgasm are smart and beautiful,
because it's the fusion of the most vigorous sperm and egg."

"Nonsense." Qin Xiaoyu feigned annoyance, but inwardly she felt a chill.

"Really, it's absolutely scientifically based. Go ahead and Google it if you don't believe me."

"I'm not going to Google it."

"Oh, I forgot, you're so advanced now, you even use Google, haha." Liang Chen
laughed .

"But do you really want a child that badly?"

"Yeah, didn't I already tell you why? And you didn't object, you didn't make me wear a condom either time,
so that means you're tacitly agreeing, right?"

"But, I'm still a little conflicted."

"Conflicted my foot! Unless you want to be fucked by Robert many times, um, not a few times, probably
dozens or hundreds of times."

Liang Chen's rude words weren't without reason. Qin Xiaoyu paused for a moment and quickly said, "You're talking nonsense again!"

Chapter Thirty-Five:

The two rustled as they tidied their clothes, smiled at each other, then took hands and walked lightly along the lakeside
back to the RV.

Qin Xiaoyu's smile held a sense of relief. She no longer needed words or actions to express her feelings to Liang Chen.
Everything that had just happened was enough to solidify Liang Chen's resolve and patience. Sex possessed such magic,
such a powerful adhesive, transcending all words and vows. It could carve out a unique path of
understanding .

Liang Chen's smile held mostly comfort and anticipation. He was comforted that Qin Xiaoyu hadn't treated him carelessly.
The level of commitment in sex was a super litmus test for their relationship. Sex was far more than just physical pleasure, not just the tingling and dizziness after
orgasm , nor as narrow as childbirth. Sex encompassed everything in love:
wholehearted devotion, striving to please, frankly admitting the deepest primal desires, expressing oneself without reservation through the body, and
willingly guiding the birth of a new life, leading to multiple responsibilities and burdens.

Yes, he felt comforted and looked forward to Qin Xiaoyu's ten months of pregnancy, hoping it would prevent her from becoming too intimate with Robert
T, making their immigration plan less arduous.

Back in the RV, they found Robert leaning against his bunk, reading.

"Where's Annie? Where's Jessica and the others?" Qin Xiaoyu looked around the RV, avoiding
eye contact with Robert.

Actually, there was no need to avoid him; Robert hadn't even looked up since they came in.

"Jessica took them to wash up." A cool voice, like a lakeside breeze, brushed against Qin
Xiaoyu , seeping through her sweater and into her heart. Qin Xiaoyu began gathering her toiletries.

"We just went for a walk by the lake. It's quite quiet there at night, no one around," Liang Chen said, opening the trash can in
the RV and tossing in a wad of paper.

Robert caught this action out of the corner of his eye, and he finally looked up at Qin Xiaoyu—her
hair was slightly disheveled, and a familiar blush lingered on her face; her gaze was evasive.
Robert's heart suddenly ached. He frowned and quietly took a deep breath.

"Let's go wash up then," Liang Chen greeted Robert, then turned to Qin Xiaoyu,
"Get me my underwear, the gray one, the one you bought me when you were on your business trip in Shanghai."

Qin Xiaoyu didn't say anything, silently found Liang Chen's clothes and handed them to him.

"Let's go together," Liang Chen waited for Qin Xiaoyu.

Qin Xiaoyu lowered her head, bit her lip, and followed Liang Chen out of the car. After walking about ten meters, she suddenly said,
"I forgot my comb, wait for me."

Saying this, she jogged back to the RV, took a comb from her vanity bag, and went straight to Robert
. She used the comb to press down his book and stared at Robert.

She said, "Don't overthink it."

Robert just widened his eyes and said nothing.

"I've been thinking about you," Qin Xiaoyu said, tears of apology welling up in her eyes.

Robert just looked, without moving.

"Okay, I'll go wash up." She wiped her tears and went out.

Robert was left in the car, his mind blank, somewhat annoyed at himself for fighting with himself. He
hated this uncontrollable feeling. Forty-odd years of life experience had taught him that taking everything seriously was a terrible
thing. But sometimes you don't know how you get serious, how you
turn into an emotionally charged drama. Was it Qin Xiaoyu's silent gentleness? Or was Liang Chen
's presence fueling his possessive masculinity? Relationships between two people are often simple and monotonous, but this kind of relationship, implying
a struggle , possesses a magical driving force, constantly permeating with an irresistible
charm. Like an apple pecked at the top of a tree by a bird, it's always
more . Qin Xiaoyu was such a fruit, seemingly imperfect, seemingly with fatal flaws, yet
brightly colored and mellowly sweet.

Robert knew what had happened, but was powerless to prevent it.

Could he truly, as before, uphold his principles, remain angry and resentful, and refuse to forgive Qin Xiaoyu?

He couldn't.

For Qin Xiaoyu, his heart was already a tranquil meadow; she was his little colt, free to roam and
frolic.

But he wanted to cool his emotions and reinforce a boundary in his feelings. Yes, why
take someone else's wife seriously? Why take a fleeting affair seriously? Why take such a blatant monetary transaction
seriously? It was best to maintain his detached attitude towards life. Qin Xiaoyu probably just wanted to please
everyone ; it wasn't easy for a woman caught between two men, trying to please both sides.

Robert put down his book, glanced at his watch—8:43. He noted the time.
Yes, from this moment on, he could no longer expect to possess Qin Xiaoyu completely for two years. Her
meetings would continue, like two parallel trains. He didn't want to be constantly forced off track by Liang Chen.
Changing his perspective, redefining his sense of belonging, he should become an intruder, stealing
and occupying Liang Chen's path when needed. That seemed much better; he could still walk freely on
his own path, unaffected by anyone.

He changed his clothes, closed the RV door, and when Jessica and the children returned, he
greeted Jessica: "I'm going for a run."

By 10:30, everyone was basically in bed, except Robert.

Annie and Jessica's son were discussing whether people who ate eucalyptus leaves would become drowsy and lethargic like
koalas . Annie said that would make school impossible; teachers would be lazy, and students
would be lazy too. Jessica's son said that if that were the case, there would be no one insomnia in the world.

Qin Xiaoyu thought: Maybe she'll be sleepless tonight. Should she go outside and pick some eucalyptus leaves to chew on?
Thinking about it, she gave a helpless, cold laugh.

Robert came back, apologized to everyone, and went to take a shower.

"No wonder he's in such good shape; look how much he sweats every day," Jessica said,
staring greedily at Robert's back.

"You're in good shape too," Liang Chen said.

"Oh, I'm talking about men. Look at you and my husband, Lao Wang, typical middle-aged married Chinese men.
After work you either sit or lie down, or you're out socializing at dinner tables. Beer bellies,
increasingly noticeable bald patches, and eyes that are forever filled with insatiable desire. Isn't 'insatiable lust' a more accurate description? I'm talking
about desires for power, money, and beauty. Don't deny it, otherwise why do you two make do with serious matters at dinner tables
and entertainment venues?"

"Isn't that how it is? I don't think it's that bad. Look at your husband, Lao Wang, so many people envy and admire
him."

"You just don't understand healthy living. Look at Robert, always with a serene
face, a regular lifestyle, simple interpersonal relationships, isn't that great?"

"What's so great about that? Don't you think he doesn't even have a friend? Let alone a family, he's destined to be lonely!"
Liang Chen added a sense of superiority.

"I still prefer Robert's approach. Look at what we're all living for. People say Chinese
people have no faith, but I think they do. The Chinese faith boils down to one word—money. Everyone is scrambling
towards this goal every day. Money is health, the future, success, and even the greatest happiness. Money is also
a universally recognized measure of everything. Look around, what aspect of our lives isn't measured in money?"

"Money isn't wrong either. What else can you measure things by if not money? When you see Liu Qiangdong and Zhang Zetian (Milk Tea Sister
) together , who doesn't think of money first? Is it their genuine love? Looking at Jack Ma, whose
first impression isn't how rich he is? Seeing officials, who doesn't think about how much they've embezzled?
Seeing actors, who doesn't categorize them by their net worth? Even that woman who wrote Harry Potter
, which news headline doesn't mention how much money she made from writing books? Seeing antique
connoisseurs , who doesn't first think about how much they've made, and then admire their knowledge?
Which celebrity's relationship doesn't rely on lavish weddings to impress us mere mortals? Is it their tortuous but faithful love?
What a joke. Take our children's education, for example. Which parent doesn't push their child towards a wealthy future?
Who would encourage a child to live a life of poverty to pursue their ideals? No one. Right?"

"Ugh, let's not talk about this anymore. It makes me feel suffocated. It seems escaping this money-driven life was the right thing to do."
Jessica said, "At least life here is relatively simple."

Liang Chen smiled and gave a few perfunctory replies, but in her heart she was thinking: Your husband is making money back home, while you're here driving
a nice car and enjoying yourself all day long, and you can still stand on high and criticize others without any worries. Your mind
is too broad.

When Robert came back from washing up, Jessica asked, "What religion do you believe in? I've never heard you mention it before
. It's like all foreigners are religious. Oh, sorry, we're not foreigners, we're
the foreigners ." As she spoke, Jessica stuck out her tongue with a smile.

“Not everyone believes, but the vast majority do, because many people, like me, were baptized at a very young age
. I’m Catholic, but I haven’t been to church in a long time. I’m not devout in my actions, but I’m
quite steadfast in my heart. Maybe when I’m older, I’ll spend more time following the Lord.”

“Oh, I don’t understand. I don’t believe in anything, and I don’t even know what I believe in. But when I was in China, I would
go into any temple I saw, burn incense, kowtow, and make all sorts of random wishes. Haha, isn’t that too materialistic?”
Jessica laughed heartily.

“I think the prosperity of Chinese temples is due to too many people having too many desires. I don’t
think it’s just pure faith. Many people think of the phrase ‘wish-fulfilling’ too… materialistically, making it concretely into ‘I
want this and that, please grant me.’ Actually, there are many things one can ask for. I think psychological support and comfort are the most
important ,” Robert said.

“But God is worshipped because people believe they have divine power and can help fulfill
wishes that humans cannot fulfill. Human power is, after all, limited,” Liang Chen said.

"In my view, faith is about love and trust. God loves you, and God teaches you to love
others . You trust God, and God is worthy of your trust. It's not about constant, excessive demands. As for
small wishes, everyone has them, and God understands them. But to expect hundreds of thousands
or even thousands is ridiculous. It's like comparing faith to the stock market… I think this
phenomenon exists in China, or rather, this mentality."

"Actually, it's not all that bad. There are genuinely faithful people, simple people,
and people who understand benevolence. It's just that there are too many people who are eager for quick success and instant benefits, which easily leads to misconceptions. I declare that I truly
don't believe in anything, but sometimes I feel like I need something… to support myself. I always feel so
insignificant, so weak, so narrow-minded, unable to cope with many things, especially lately, there have been many..."
"I'm confused." Qin Xiaoyu said, hoping Robert would hear her.

"Oh, you're not asleep? I thought you were asleep since you had your eyes closed and weren't talking." Jessica
propped herself up on her arm and looked up at Qin Xiaoyu from the opposite bed.

"You guys woke me up." Qin Xiaoyu said with a smile.

"It's no use saying anything. We don't have any faith or anything, and we don't know how to have it, but I still want to pray to
God that Xiaoyu will win the bid this time and give our Liang family a son. Haha. If necessary, I
'll go back and burn incense at Tanzhe Temple and Jietai Temple. Or maybe I should go to Yonghe Temple and Baiyun Temple too." Liang Chen
turned his gaze to Robert provocatively, intending to end this pointless and inconclusive topic.

Robert dodged away.

Jessica exclaimed excitedly, "Really? That's wonderful! I've always wanted a second child,
but I'm getting older and can't conceive. It's driving me crazy! I just want another daughter."

"Don't listen to his nonsense," Qin Xiaoyu quickly explained. "He's still acting all mysterious even though he's about to go back to China. I just mentioned it as a sign of
being impatient for quick results , and he immediately started giving me his own experience."

"Hehe, I'm confident," Liang Chen chuckled sheepishly.

"Hey Xiaoyu, it would be so great if you were pregnant. I could take care of you all the time. I heard that even if you're a dependent
student, the government gives you a one-time payment of 5,000 Australian dollars for giving birth here. You'd be lucky

!" "You really know a lot," Xiaoyu said. "I only looked into it beforehand. I wanted a child,
but there are restrictions in China. I was worried that having a second child would affect Lao Wang's job. But abroad, nobody can control that. Besides, I
don't have a proper job all day. What else would I do if I didn't raise a child? It's just a pity that I haven't gotten pregnant yet." Jessica
said with some regret, "By the way, Robert, if Xiaoyu were pregnant, I'd have a reason to visit
your house more often. Don't bother me then."

"I won't," Robert replied simply. "It's getting late, go to sleep.
I have to ."

"You're such a spoilsport. I was so excited. Just thinking about it is so much fun. Hey Xiaoyu, if you had a big belly,
I'd be confident enough to go shopping with you. I always feel inferior when we're together."

"You just believe Liang Chen's nonsense, go to sleep." Xiaoyu really didn't want to continue this topic. She had already
noticed Robert's unhappiness, but she couldn't explain anything at this moment. She could only wait for her period to come, and
then everything would become clear.

But when would her period come? When she took a shower that night, she deliberately turned the water very hot.
Usually, a day or two before her period, if she took a hot shower, that waiting period seemed to disappear
. But tonight, the shower water had scalded her skin red, and the sanitary napkin she had prepared on her underwear was still clean.

If she was pregnant, according to the safe period, there was no reason it could be Liang Chen's, Qin Xiaoyu thought. But since removing the IUD
this month, she and Robert had only been intimate twice. The first time, they put on a condom halfway through, and the second
time, it was just oral sex... Although the time she used a condom was indeed during her ovulation period, she still used a condom... Could it be, could it be?
Is it possible to get pregnant from this? "

No, we need to wait another four or five days before buying a test strip and taking another one. We can then carefully consider what to say based on the results
. It's too early to say anything now, and it's not good to say anything now. "

"Just wait for Xiaoyu's good news next month, and then Xiaoyu will treat you to a meal..." Liang Chen
was excited about this topic because he could feel Robert's suppressed emotions, as if he had
stepped on his chest.

"No way, if anyone's going to treat someone, it'll be me treating the pregnant woman, not the other way around, haha."

"Are you guys going to sleep or not? You'll wake the kids up again." Qin Xiaoyu said.

"Okay, okay, I'll go to sleep now. You mustn't disturb the baby. Hahaha." Jessica said
cheerfully , closing her eyes and imagining Qin Xiaoyu's frequent visits to Robert's house after she became pregnant.
She and Robert would occasionally make eye contact, their bodies brushing against each other... Hmm, with opportunities for contact, there's an opportunity...
to seduce. Jessica's mind raced, and she felt a surge of heat. She quickly turned off the light.

Chapter Thirty-Six:

As the sunset was at its peak, they returned to Sydney. Robert first took Jessica
home , then dropped off Qin Xiaoyu, Liang Chen, and Annie at their house, letting them unpack while he went to wash the car and
return it to the rental company.

"Why wash the car?" Liang Chen asked.

"Yes, that's how it is when renting a car or apartment here. You have to return it in the same condition as when you rented it."
Robert answered simply and left.

Qin Xiaoyu continued, "I've also seen on some Chinese forums in Australia that when you rent a place here,
it's not like in China where everything is fully furnished and equipped. Here, it's just an empty house, and you have to furnish it all yourself. When you move out,
you have to pack everything up and take it with you or dispose of it. You also have to clean the house to look the same as when you rented it, which seems quite troublesome
. I guess it's for hygiene reasons."

"That's such a waste! If every tenant has to furnish their place, the secondhand furniture market will be booming!"

"Who knows? But washing the car when returning it is only right. It forces people to have a sense of responsibility.
You have to return everything you borrow in perfect condition, right?"

"You think that way? I think it's the rental company's poor service. The customer is king, so you have to
make them comfortable. Making them wash the car is completely unreasonable."

"Okay, okay, you can be your God. I didn't ask you to wash the car. Hurry up and pack your luggage."

Qin Xiaoyu specifically found a suitcase to put the health products and cell phones he brought for his colleagues. She also took out
some clothes she had bought for Liang Chen earlier and said, "These are all good brand-name items on sale at the malls here. You men
are particular about brands when it comes to clothes, so I bought you a few extra pieces. Enough for you to wear for two years. But I think the men here
dress very casually, not that particular. In the summer, they just wear a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops
..."

"Those who go to work should be very particular, right? The ones you're looking at are probably homeless people on the street." "

Get lost. Except for formal occasions, I see them dressed very casually."

"That's because they don't understand taste in clothing."

"You think you know? Alright, these health products are for Mom and Dad. Fish oil and propolis are for lowering blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol, and there are also
ones for protecting joints and calcium supplements. They're all good. I also bought them a few bags of oatmeal. I didn't buy any clothes.
Chinese clothes are cheaper." Qin Xiaoyu said while helping him pack.

As Liang Chen watched Qin Xiaoyu pack, Annie pulled him along to watch her make a clay craft—a
gift for her father. Annie said the gift was called "Dad, We're Waiting for You."

The gift was shaped like two hands holding a heart-shaped globe, with a little person standing in the center of the heart, and
two hands, one big and one small, on either side of the heart. Annie explained, "Dad, this little person is
you, this big hand is Mom, and this little hand is myself. The blue globe is shaped like a heart,
which means that no matter where Dad is, we love you and think of you... Dad, look, I'm making
a base for this gift, so we can put it on the table when it's dry."

Qin Xiaoyu and Annie's words of advice and expectations made Liang Chen truly feel the sadness of parting.

"Think about what else you need to bring? Passport? ID card? Did you bring all the house keys?"

"It's in my little bag, check it." Liang Chen sniffed, driving away the slight soreness
... Things aren't so bad after all. The world is so big, but there's the internet, there are airplanes. As long as
hearts don't drift apart, distance doesn't matter.

"I checked, everything's there. Think about what else we need? How about I go to the supermarket and buy you a few packs of cigarettes to
share with your colleagues? And some red wine, should we ship a couple of bottles? You can drink them yourself or give them away, it's all good."
Qin Xiaoyu said.

"That's a good idea, we should have a little of everything, I hadn't thought of that."

"Okay, I'll call Robert and ask him to bring them back. We're not familiar with the area, and even though
we have a car, it's still a bit inconvenient to go out." With that, Qin Xiaoyu picked up the phone.

"Okay, I'm almost done packing. He'll be home in about an hour. We'll
have dinner , and you can rest a bit more before heading to the airport."

"With him? Hmm… Could the three of us go eat? I don't want any outsiders around. It seems like the
three of us haven't been alone together at all these past few days."

"But that's hard to say. He and Jessica drove all day. Are we leaving him behind to go eat?
And without him driving, how are we going to eat out? We can't really use him as a chauffeur."

"True… never mind then."

When Robert returned, he handed Liang Chen a bag, saying, "Cigarettes, alcohol, and receipts are all in
here."

"How much? I'll give it to you?" Liang Chen pretended to reach into his pocket.

"I forgot, the receipts are in the bag," Robert said.

Liang Chen felt a little awkward. He had thought Robert would be like most Chinese people, smiling and
saying, "Don't worry about the money, just take it." After finishing speaking, Robert would even pat Liang Chen on the shoulder. Since
the guest was leaving, according to Chinese etiquette, the host would usually give the guest some local specialties
as a gift to show goodwill. But Robert didn't. Liang Chen awkwardly took out the shopping receipt from his bag, looked at it,
silently calculated the amount, then asked Qin Xiaoyu for three hundred Australian dollars, handing it to Robert and saying, "Keep the change
, it's kind of you to make this special trip for me." Actually, the total price was 276 Australian dollars.

"No, that won't do." Robert took it, carefully gave Liang Chen some change.

"Aren't you being too polite?" Liang Chen protested, actually thinking that this way of calculating the bill was really awkward. He wanted to
show unpretentious Chinese people are; it's just a few dozen dollars.

"One thing at a time." Robert insisted on giving Liang Chen the change, saying, "Let's go eat. I'll take
you to a nearby Chinese restaurant."

Take us? Qin Xiaoyu wondered.

"I've already eaten dinner. I'll take you to eat later; there's no time to cook at home," Robert
explained , without much expression.

A glint of light appeared in Liang Chen's eyes, and he smiled smugly at Qin Xiaoyu.

So, the three of them had a real family dinner—no outsiders, just a man, a
woman , and their child. Annie ate listlessly, clutching her finished clay doll
and barely speaking.

"Sweetie, are you unhappy? Daddy will come to see you and Mommy again. If you miss Daddy,
I'll buy you plane tickets so you can go back to Beijing, okay?" Liang Chen comforted her.

"But Daddy, after you left, did Mommy marry Uncle Robert again
? I don't like their marriage. Since they got married, Mommy doesn't sleep with me anymore," Annie pouted, tears
welling in her eyes.

Qin Xiaoyu and Liang Chen exchanged an awkward glance, unsure how to comfort their child… This messy
web of relationships had truly confused the child. I don't know how to explain the helplessness and compromises in the
adult . Perhaps only when the child reaches an age where they can understand life can they gradually
digest these grievances on their own. I really don't know whether it's better to let the child forgive these things or to let the child stick to their own sense of
right and .

"Baby, you're all grown up now, you need to sleep alone, you need to be a brave child," Qin Xiaoyu
said reluctantly.

"But why aren't you adults brave? Why do you need someone to sleep with you? Why should I, a little kid,
be brave?" Annie's lips pouted even more, looking very dissatisfied.

Liang Chen and Qin Xiaoyu looked at each other again, not knowing how to answer.

"Come on, baby, here are your favorite glutinous rice meatballs. Put that down and eat first. After you finish eating, we'll go back
and Daddy will put you to sleep and tell you a story, a super long story, okay?" Qin Xiaoyu had to change the subject.

"Really?" Annie asked Liang Chen with wide eyes, her little face beaming again.

"Of course it's true, Daddy will put you to sleep tonight, okay?"

"Okay!" Annie said happily, seemingly forgetting for a moment that Liang Chen was leaving.

Everyone avoided mentioning Liang Chen's departure that evening and enjoyed a pleasant dinner.
Before , Robert called to say he was already waiting for them in the restaurant parking lot. Qin Xiaoyu
said, somewhat surprised and uneasy, "Actually, it wasn't necessary. We could have taken a taxi back, but... thank you. Really."

"It's impossible to get a taxi in the suburbs of Sydney. This isn't Beijing," Robert
said calmly, without any emotion.

When they got home, Liang Chen helped Annie wash up and then went to her room to put her to bed.

Before Robert went into the bedroom, he told Qin Xiaoyu, "I'll be waiting for him downstairs at 11:30. You can't go;
you have to stay home with the child."

Qin Xiaoyu said, "The child will be asleep by then, and she doesn't need to get up at night anymore
... I have to take her to school; I don't want her to have any regrets."

"If you want to lose custody of your child, then come with me."

"What?"

"Nothing. The law here states that children under 12 cannot be left alone at home. Otherwise, if
discovered or accused by a neighbor, you may lose custody."

"Who would be so bored as to report someone?" Qin Xiaoyu still didn't think anything of it.

"I've fulfilled my obligation to inform you; you two can discuss it yourselves." With that, Robert went into his
room.

Qin Xiaoyu went downstairs with a disdainful look, waiting for Liang Chen to come down after putting the child to sleep, before checking the luggage.

"She's asleep. I told her two stories, the one about the little snowman chasing the sun, which made her cry. Sigh, she
'll be a sentimental child when she grows up," Liang Chen said as soon as he came downstairs.

Qin Xiaoyu handed him a glass of water and said, "Robert said we'd leave for the airport together at 11:30."

"You? You shouldn't go. Stay home with the kids."

"It's okay, Annie's asleep and won't wake up. She's developed a habit of not getting up at night; she won't
wake up until dawn."

"That won't do either. I'm worried about her being home alone. It's such a big house, such a big yard."

"The neighborhood is very safe." Qin Xiaoyu tried her best to express her reluctance to part with Liang Chen,
or rather, her concern for him. This urgent feeling momentarily overshadowed her maternal tenderness and love. Qin Xiaoyu didn't
know if she was doing this intentionally or unintentionally; she only understood that the more she acted this way, the more at ease Liang Chen would feel when he left.

"That still won't do. You should stay home. Anyway, we'll be separated... Come, sit next to me for a while."
Liang Chen, on the other hand, understood. He reached out his hand to Qin Xiaoyu.

Qin Xiaoyu sat down, nestled beside him, and breathed in his scent, which was different from Robert's. Liang Chen's
scent was soft and light, sometimes so subtle that it was hard to find in the air. Robert's scent had
a lingering, elusive allure, and breathing near his chest muscles carried an
overly direct, sensual fragrance… She shook her head inwardly, banishing these thoughts, and slowly said, “Actually
, Robert said that the law here doesn't allow children under 12 to be left alone at home. I just
argued with him, but sigh, I'll listen to you and stay home with the baby. I just thought… if only we could stay together.
Look how thoughtful Annie is, her gift almost made me cry. If I had known this would happen, maybe we shouldn't
have made this decision.”

“There's no turning back now. We've come this far, and we endured our first separation,
what's the rest of the time? If you get pregnant, it'll be over in the blink of an eye. I'm just worried about your pregnancy symptoms being severe, and I
won't be by your side. The food here isn't to your liking, who will take care of you then?”

“It's not that easy to get pregnant, you're thinking too far ahead.” Qin Xiaoyu still didn't want to be pregnant, but
her period hadn't come yet. It seemed she would definitely have to buy a pregnancy test in a few days.

"I don't know why, but I have a strong premonition this
time ."

The two chatted on and on, trying to portray their parting as peaceful and uneventful.

At 11:30, Robert came downstairs on time. Without even looking at Qin Xiaoyu, he simply said to Robert,
"Let's go."

"Go be with the child. I'm leaving. I'll contact you when I get home. I'll send
you my WeChat message if the airport Wi-Fi is ready." Liang Chen kissed Qin Xiaoyu's cheek and left.

Gone? Liang Chen left? Only a few minutes passed, and Qin Xiaoyu
paced back and forth in the house alone. She went to the study to look at the empty mattress, and Liang Chen's suitcases were gone from the garage.
Not . She took a deep breath; the air no longer carried Liang Chen's scent... The house
felt bigger.

Qin Xiaoyu knew what the bigger house meant: a sense of loss.

But Liang Chen's arrival not only made the room crowded and lively, but also
erected a glass door between her and Robert. They could see each other, yet were separated and unable to touch. Thinking about
the events of the past few days, aside from watching the sunrise that day, Robert had been constantly pushed away by Qin Xiaoyu, always relegated to the back of the table.
They hadn't exchanged more than five sentences with each other. Robert was truly like a rock; if you didn't nurture him,
he wouldn't warm up. With Qin Xiaoyu's indifference, especially in winter, he had long since become cold and hard.

But should she turn around and try to please him as soon as Liang Chen left? That wouldn't just be like slamming on the brakes, but
turning around on the spot—Qin Xiaoyu couldn't do that. She wasn't a hollow, two-faced person.

However, sometimes she found it strange that when facing Liang Chen, she was willing and went to great lengths to make him happy,
willing to hide some reluctance. To coax? Qin Xiaoyu was startled by the word again. Yes, she was willing to do many things,
including moaning and orgasms during sex, to please Liang Chen… But with Robert,
she rarely showed such flattery and accommodation. Had the scales in her heart always been tilted? Was her
secret to maintaining balance to always tilt towards Liang Chen?

But only when one is in a vulnerable position does one need such tilting and care.

Qin Xiaoyu was startled by her own discovery.

Like a half-grown child, she would always throw tantrums at her family members without restraint, but
would be polite and smiling towards guests or strangers… Had she already unconsciously
divided Liang Chen and Robert in her heart? But clearly, there was always an unspoken
competition between her and Robert, a silent resentment, and absolutely no flattery.

Thinking of this, she wrote a note and stuck it on Robert's bedroom door, then went to sleep with Annie.

She wrote: "I won't disturb your peace. I slept with Annie."

Chapter Thirty-Seven.

That phrase, "slept with Annie," was spoken lightly, yet it felt like the cruel hairpin of the Queen Mother of the West,
drawing an insurmountable galaxy between the two.

For almost two weeks, Robert didn't say anything to Qin Xiaoyu about coming back to sleep.
He went to work and came home methodically, even continuing to make simple breakfasts for Qin Xiaoyu and Annie in the mornings.
Perhaps was waiting for Qin Xiaoyu to come back on her own, or perhaps he was letting her wander off. In any case, he felt that no matter what or who...
Neither can be forced, nor can anything be forced. During the week Liang Chen arrived, Robert initially felt jealous and
competitive, but under Liang Chen's intentional or unintentional provocations and reminders, he suddenly realized
the awkwardness . He had awkwardly embedded himself into someone else's life, instead of Qin Xiaoyu gracefully arriving and settling into
his own. He couldn't jump on someone else's train of life; he needed to maintain his own direction and speed.
So Robert adjusted the track distorted by emotions and desires; he wanted to be more relaxed and less flustered.

Qin Xiaoyu sensed the coldness seeping from Robert's eyes, even though the temperature was starting to rise
daily even though her gaze towards him had become more complex and meaningful... Every day after dinner, she
would take a shower very early. Before Robert returned to the room, she would tidy up the bathroom as if she were on a
business trip or traveling, and the same went for the wardrobe—everything was neat and tidy, very silent, a silence like
waiting . Yes, she didn't dare take her clothes in a huff, didn't dare move her toiletries downstairs in a huff,
didn't dare refuse to share a bathroom with Robert, and didn't dare to leave Robert's bedroom, as if
a certain right would expire if not used continuously.

Even Annie asked, "Mom, aren't you and Uncle Robert getting married?"

Qin Xiaoyu was so embarrassed her face almost turned red. She answered irrelevantly, "Daddy left, and Mom was worried
that you would be sad, so I've been staying with you."

"Can I tell you I'm sad every day?" Annie smiled slyly.

Qin Xiaoyu patted Annie's head and said, "Silly girl, silly girl."

Actually, Qin Xiaoyu's worries had grown increasingly deeper this month.

Qin Xiaoyu also told Liang Chen about their lack of intimacy with Robert. She didn't know
why , but whenever there was even the slightest disagreement between them, she wanted to magnify it tenfold or a hundredfold,
telling Liang Chen as if to boast, desperately using words as a knife to sever the bond between them,
afraid the separation wouldn't be complete enough. Liang Chen was naturally happy; the more he did this, the more confident and
assured . He constantly asked Qin Xiaoyu if her period had come and when they could find out if she was pregnant. The more he
asked, the more anxious Qin Xiaoyu became, delaying the purchase of a pregnancy test. The result of this delay was that she became even more certain
of her pregnancy; she just needed a tangible confirmation. She didn't know why she was delaying.
Perhaps subconsciously, she wanted to create the illusion that the child was Liang Chen's. She needed to push their
union to her ovulation period so that the test wouldn't reveal anything… But why was she doing
this? Was it merely to make Liang Chen happy with a lie? But even a fool knows that such
a lie is the most foolish and shameless, like fire hidden in paper. But could she simply tell Liang Chen the truth and apologize, saying
she accidentally became pregnant with Robert's child? Wouldn't Liang Chen go crazy? Would he have to fly over for over ten
hours , then have a bitter argument or even a physical fight with Robert, forcing
Qin Xiaoyu to have an abortion at the right time? No! Every time Qin Xiaoyu thought of this, she couldn't help but
touch still flat stomach, feeling her fingers trembling.

Undoubtedly, she naturally and irrevocably loved this unexpected life, like all mothers
love their children. Especially for Qin Xiaoyu, who had already become a mother, she couldn't help but imagine a
little doll with brown hair and blue eyes. She felt those eyes were the sea, fire, the sky,
encompassing, destroying, and free. She had wanted to describe Robert's eyes like that many times, but she had
always kept it to herself. Now, those descriptions were finally released, and not just once, but repeatedly
, like fireworks in the night sky, blooming every day in Qin Xiaoyu's world, emitting dazzling and mesmerizing colors…
But what could she do? Could she tell Robert that she was pregnant with his child? No, she couldn't. That would
sever her own future with Liang Chen, and completely disrupt Robert's life. Sometimes she liked his
sense of order, his simple, unaltered life, like these past few days. He went
about his business at a steady pace: going to work, coming home, exercising, reading… He was like a mechanical clock,
ticking away methodically beside Qin Xiaoyu, bringing a sense of timeless tranquility. So she didn't want to disrupt
him.

But these were no longer the small lies of the past. She suppressed herself deeply, writing two
detailed still couldn't find relief. Looking back at the two versions of her diary, the more she read,
the more she felt it was an apology to Liang Chen and Robert, each apology sincere, yet
futile . Yes, she felt she had wronged everyone; all the mistakes stemmed from her being a
womb capable of nurturing life. If a woman were merely a vagina, her entire purpose being to enjoy pleasure while giving pleasure,
then there wouldn't be so much trouble now.

Liang Chen was urging her to take a test again; calculating the time, it was within her reach. She should buy a pregnancy
test to confirm, so she could have a suitable solution. Regarding how to resolve this matter, Qin Xiaoyu's
mind was also churning with various solutions, constantly contradicting and rejecting them. For example, if Qin Xiaoyu tells the truth,
Liang Chen will inevitably demand an abortion and lose all trust in her. Robert will be heartbroken, frustrated,
and even angry because he will surely say that John the Baptist was filled with the Holy Spirit in his mother's womb and miraculously knew Jesus in Mary's womb
three months . He will tell Qin
Xiaoyu, with the piety of a Christian, that this is a sin. He will hate Qin Xiaoyu, feeling that a woman without faith lacks natural maternal kindness, and
he is very likely to abandon her. For everyone, everything will be in vain.

Alternatively, she can tell Robert the truth and lie to Liang Chen, saying the child is Liang Chen's. Then, both self-righteous
fathers will be overjoyed. Yes, Qin Xiaoyu can give birth to this child under double care and then use
the irrefutable facts to crush Liang Chen… Oh no, how could she do that to Liang Chen? He would feel
abandoned by the whole world at that moment. Humiliation, resentment, and jealousy would be enough for him to pick up a knife and take revenge on the world. How could Qin
Xiaoyu treat the man she has spent seven years with like this? How could she treat Annie's beloved
father like this? The cruelest thing in the world is that all the disasters and humiliations are borne by one person... Qin
Xiaoyu can't do that.

So the only option was to lie to Robert, saying the child was Liang Chen's, and to Liang Chen, saying the child was Liang Chen's…
Only in this way, if the child were born, would they each suffer, perhaps even more than Robert
, who would endure prolonged torment. He wouldn't ask Qin Xiaoyu to have an abortion, not only because of religious doctrine, but also
because he had no right to decide anything. This way, Robert
would not only suffer for the next two years but also have no reason to terminate the contract… In this way, his Australian status and Robert
's long-standing suffering could somewhat appease Liang Chen's anger, and the child
would be . In this way, everyone would have their share of loss, and no one would be
alone on their journey, and Qin Xiaoyu wouldn't have to betray the compassion a mother should have… It seemed like the most suitable
decision amidst helplessness.

Qin Xiaoyu had also considered other combinations in her mind, but they wouldn't work, because they would ultimately lead back to the first
outcome.

So be it, Qin Xiaoyu thought, rubbing her head with a frown every time she finished thinking about these things… It was too complicated.

So Qin Xiaoyu could completely accept Robert's coldness towards her over the past week or two, just like a
mother accepting her child out of love for the house. She also needed to calmly choose a way
to handle this matter, even though her eyes held a hidden affection and worry.

Just then, Liu Hui and Linda came to visit. Qin Xiaoyu warmly invited them in, made tea, and
offered some small desserts. Liu Hui and Qin Xiaoyu chatted with Linda in limited English. When they encountered unfamiliar words
or phrases, they used their phones to translate while asking Linda for the correct way
to say them. Linda patiently explained everything to them… The three of them, using gestures along the way, chatted happily
. Qin Xiaoyu even felt that it wouldn't be long before she would have the confidence to communicate with people, which was
a pleasant surprise.

Linda was a very kind old woman. She asked Qin Xiaoyu if she believed in Jesus Christ. Qin Xiaoyu shook her
head. Linda handed Qin Xiaoyu a booklet with a picture of a pregnant woman on it… What a coincidence. Qin
Xiaoyu thought to herself, feeling a surge of joy.

Linda said, “You and Liu Hui are both very beautiful women and very beautiful mothers. You are
loved by the Lord. The Lord always loves people in every corner of the world. The Lord understands their troubles and pains,
and listens to them. The Lord will reach out to help everyone when they need Him, giving
them support.”

As Qin Xiaoyu flipped through the booklet, she was warmed by the loving images inside.
Linda’s simple English was ringing in her ears. She looked at Linda, who was sitting against the light,
the sunlight creating an indescribable bright halo behind her. Her tone was slow and gentle, combined with
the natural light, gradually seeping into Qin Xiaoyu’s heart.

"The Lord loves us as He loves His own children. You are both mothers, and you both know
what —it's inseparable, uncontrollable, natural, pure, and eternal."

Qin Xiaoyu stroked her belly, repeating those words in her mind: separated
, uncontrollable, natural, pure,
constant… When she looked at Linda, she felt this afternoon was a gift from heaven. Yes
, for the first time, she felt love from someone outside herself because of the life growing inside her. Amidst her various struggles
, Linda descended into her world like an angel, making her feel the maternal power within her
rising little by little.

"You're so young, you should have another child, darling. And Liu Hui, you too," Linda said
with a beaming smile.

Liu Hui shrugged dramatically and said, "Dear Linda, do you really think my 65-year-old
husband can still have children of his own?"

Linda's eyes widened, her surprise tinged with a touch of cuteness: "That's a great baby! Ruppet
Murdoch had two daughters with Wendi Deng when he was over 70.
Did you know Ruppet Murdoch was born in Melbourne?"

"Ruppet Murdoch?" Liu Hui asked Qin Xiaoyu. "

Mr. Murdoch, I deduced that from Wendi Deng," Qin Xiaoyu said with a smile to Liu Hui, "So
you still have a chance."

"Forget it, you're the ones with the chance. You're so young and beautiful, and Robert is so handsome,
how many beautiful dolls can you give birth to? You'd better hurry up." Liu Hui's words were like warmed feathers,
gently caressing Qin Xiaoyu's heart. This strengthened her resolve to have this child, yes, if
the pregnancy was confirmed.

As Qin Xiaoyu chatted with them, she thought about going to the nearby pharmacy to buy a test strip later; she
couldn't wait to see the results.

The three chatted for over an hour, and Qin Xiaoyu clearly felt her hearing had improved, so she
thanked Linda. Linda said, "Welcome to our church with Liu Hui.
There are more friends there to chat with and help you learn English." She added, "If you need
work, we can also help you find suitable opportunities. Only by integrating into society will your language improve faster."

Liu Hui and Qin Xiaoyu exchanged glances, smiled, thanked Linda, and asked when they could
come.

Linda said, "We have meetings twice a week, Tuesday and Sunday, Tuesday evening and Sunday
daytime . I've included our activity schedule and specific locations in this book; just come then. The Lord
always welcomes us."

Liu Hui and Qin Xiaoyu said they would definitely go often. Then the three said goodbye.

Qin Xiaoyu put the booklet in her desk drawer, intending to read it carefully that evening. She
felt the little life inside her seemed to have truly come from love, from God's love, and because she also… loved
Robert? Qin Xiaoyu shook her head, not daring to think further. She picked up her bag, still wanting to buy a pregnancy
test first. The result was more important than anything.

This was Qin Xiaoyu's first time at a pharmacy alone. She had searched for pictures online beforehand, then
went in alone to find the right product. During this time, pharmacy staff asked if she needed help, and she kindly declined each time.
She refused, because she felt this excitement was something she needed to experience slowly. Yes, don't think about a year from now,
don't think about it, at least let her enjoy the joy of motherhood again now. When she was pregnant with Annie, perhaps she was too young,
and everything she did was arranged by both sets of parents. What to do, what to eat, what to wear, she had no
ideas . But this time was different; she wanted to do everything herself from the moment she knew the child was there.

There were many people in the pharmacy, but no one knew what kind of secret Qin Xiaoyu was carrying,
especially Robert. Sigh, how should she tell Robert? Would he be even colder after she told him? Would
she feel wronged because of it? But shouldn't she suffer some grievances? If
things went according to plan, who wouldn't suffer? Compared to that, her pain was the least... Qin Xiaoyu shook her head.
She had already said she didn't want to think about it anymore, why was she still thinking about it?!

She couldn't find the test strip she remembered, but she successfully bought a pregnancy test stick and then almost ran home.

When she got home, she threw down her bag, grabbed a paper cup, and went straight to the bathroom.

She opened the packaging, then picked up a paper cup, half-kneeled on the toilet, collected some urine, and inserted
one end of the pregnancy test. She stared intently at the center… A red line appeared quickly and clearly, then another
line slowly, gradually darkened… Although still slightly lighter than the first red line, two clear and undeniable
red lines were clearly marked. She checked the result again—pregnant.

Yes, that was the result.

It was the result of Robert not using a condom and accidentally entering the vagina. Although he eventually put one on, some
mischievous seeped in.

Qin Xiaoyu knew this was the result, but she was still a little excited. She took a picture with her phone, then cleaned
everything up, put the pregnancy test in a transparent sealed bag, thought for a moment, and then tucked it into
the diary where she wrote about Robert T. She wrote a line solemnly and drew a small smiley face. Then, she
flipped it over and wrote a sentence on the other side, drawing a crying face and two tears.

After doing all that, she went to the study, opened WeChat on her phone, and
sent .

Then, she awkwardly pressed the input key, unable to think of a single word to explain the picture.

Chapter Thirty-Eight:

Liang Chen's call came almost immediately, without a second's delay.

"Really? I knew it! It was a must, really. This time, the premonition was very, very strong. I've told you
more than once that I was sure, right? Unlike when I was pregnant with Annie, that was a complete accident. Your body
is too sensitive; you really can't do without an IUD. Luckily, we got together in the first month after you removed it, otherwise you
would definitely have gotten pregnant with that guy's bastard child..."

"Why are you talking like that?" Qin Xiaoyu was displeased.

"Okay, okay, I won't upset the pregnant woman. I misspoke, otherwise you would definitely be pregnant with someone else's
child ... Hey, let me tell you, are you really sure you didn't have any sexual contact with Robert that month besides me?
I'm sure you didn't have the time or opportunity during the week I was there, but what about the three or four days I was gone? Did you really
sleep with Annie the whole time?"

"That's not very nice of you to say. If you don't believe me, go ask Annie. Or don't say anything at all, I'll
just go to the hospital and get an abortion. Anyway, the thought of being pregnant here makes me feel miserable. I won't be able to eat as many
delicious foods , and I can't just order people around. Actually, I've already had some early pregnancy symptoms these past few days. My back feels cold, my stomach
is burning, and I'm already feeling uncomfortable, although I haven't started vomiting yet."

"Just kidding, don't be angry. I'm quite confident that my powerful sperm will break through all barriers and
make you pregnant. Some white men's things, even though they're big, always look soft in porn, hehe. By the way,
once you're pregnant, save your breath. Living with him is fine, but you should consider your own health and the baby first."

"What are you thinking about all day? You still manage to bring up that at a time like this? You know perfectly well that
pregnancy is like an illness for me, and you still keep thinking about it… really."

"Okay, okay, I'm just worried. To use that joke, I don't want my son
to constantly see a bald guy visiting your belly… But if you tell Robert you're pregnant, I
think he definitely won't touch you."

"Can you stop joking around like that?!" Qin Xiaoyu could sense Liang Chen's excitement and uncontrollable excitement
. She continued, "How do you tell him? That I'm pregnant with your child?"

"Hmm, let me think… that might not be a good idea. I think it's more
plausible … Oh, no, you haven't had sex recently, so it's hard to say. You can
tell him when you're showing more. He'll probably have no choice then, he'll have to accept it whether he likes it or not."

"I'm afraid I'll be throwing up like crazy before that time even comes."

"Let's just take it one day at a time... By the way, don't try to save money. Buy whatever you want to eat,
and if you can't find it, try to cook it yourself. You need to have a good appetite; your body is still a bit weak." Liang Chen started rambling on,
and Qin Xiaoyu felt a pang of sadness. Although she could deliberately argue with Liang Chen and show her anger, and do so with such
righteous indignation, the voice inside her remained unchanged. She had said a thousand times: I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry...

This lie had to be maintained. She couldn't clarify everything at this time. Using lies to maintain and corroborate
lies always comes at a price; there was no way around it.

Liang Chen continued, "You know the first three months of pregnancy are quite dangerous. When I was pregnant with Annie,
did repeatedly advise against intercourse during the first three months? So you should take good care of your body. Try
to sleep with Annie as much as possible, and don't accidentally get... you know... done... Oh dear, I'm talking nonsense again. I'm sorry, I'm
sorry."

Qin Xiaoyu could sense Liang Chen's worry and his unspoken psychological fastidiousness. She understood that no
man could accept his wife having sex with another man during her pregnancy… To suggest a purely,
base form of physical pleasure over the creation of life was nothing short of disrespectful to life itself.

“It’s okay, don’t say that again,” Qin Xiaoyu said in a forgiving tone, but she felt
even more guilty.

“Xiaoyu, honestly, I’m really, really happy. Look, Annie will have a younger brother or sister now
. We won’t have to worry about them being lonely when we’re old. Just imagine how happy my parents will be when the baby is born! ”
If it's another son, well, I can't even begin to describe it. I think for my parents, who are so patriarchal, this would probably
be the last big gift they could ever give me. Also, you know I'm actually quite petty, so this way,
I haven't felt like I've been suffering these past two years. With my child in your belly, you won't easily fall for someone else. To be
honest, Robert is a good person, and it's not impossible for you to fall for him. I've
worried , but I can't
settle for someone with such poor qualities for a rather... rather dishonorable purpose. I thought to myself, although this deal isn't exactly honorable, if you look at it from another perspective,
if you don't feel too wronged, and even have a slight expectation for that kind of life, it's still worth it. At least you won't
feel like you're losing out, and I won't feel so bad either. "It was such a dilemma back then. On one hand, I worried you'd fall
for Robert, and on the other hand, I hoped you'd feel the same way about him. Otherwise, these past two years would have been
torture for you... Now it's all right. You can care for him emotionally, and he can care for you too. But for a man
, a child is like a stamp on a woman's body. Yes, he'll constantly remind himself, 'She's mine,
she's mine.' That's good enough. The goal is achieved. Robert can't affect us at all, and
our relationship will become unbreakable because of the arrival of the second child. How wonderful!"

Liang Chen was completely lost in his own fantasy, surrounded by a quagmire of beauty from which he couldn't escape.
Qin Xiaoyu suddenly felt that men were all so naive, while women sometimes concealed so many schemes and
sins within themselves.

The more he anticipated this, the more uneasy Qin Xiaoyu felt, and
the more .

Would she really deliver a bolt from the blue? Turn him to ashes in an instant? Would he still
trust and accept her? Tragedy, it would definitely be a tragedy. She began to doubt whether an Australian identity could truly
soothe the pain Liang Chen was suffering. She also doubted whether Robert's torment over the past two years could
offer Liang Chen any comfort or balance… Was her and Annie's Australian identity more important, or a wife's emotional fidelity
? Qin Xiaoyu felt that physical infidelity was easier to forgive, but to genuinely use lies
to support having a child with another man—how much love must one have to do that?

Love?

Qin Xiaoyu and Robert had never uttered that word; their restraint was obvious.

When the conflicts and disagreements between two people can so easily dissolve in moments of lovemaking, and after each lovemaking,
their skin is reluctant to separate; when they open their eyes in the morning and gaze quietly at each other through the dim light filtering through the curtains
; when they hold their teacups around five in the afternoon, constantly checking the time and listening intently to the sound of the grass scraping
against the ground ; when she occasionally glances back while cooking and sees him looking at her; when he
picks a flower from the yard after mowing the lawn and offers it to her to smell its fragrance; when he, cloaked in desire, says he wants to have a child for her… Yes,
a feeling has already quietly accumulated.

Qin Xiaoyu felt extremely conflicted.

Why not keep it simple, just use the most primitive method—jumping up and down in the house, pounding her belly with her fists
—if it can be kept, then so be it, it's fate…

“The first three months of pregnancy are quite dangerous…” Liang Chen's words suddenly flashed through Qin
Xiaoyu .

She repeated this sentence over and over. Yes, this was more natural
and less noticeable than jumping up and down and pounding her belly with her fists… What a sin. Qin Xiaoyu silently murmured a phrase. Yes, she felt that every
step was filled with guilt and an indelible sense of sin.

What should she do? After listening to Liang Chen's long list of dreams, she hesitated deeply.

"Don't always think so optimistically. What if it's another girl? Wouldn't your parents be even more disappointed? Besides, there are
so many variables. Don't be too optimistic," Qin Xiaoyu could only try to dampen his spirits.

"It's okay. I love both boys and girls, and my parents will love them too. They just prefer a boy.
You have to cheer up. After all, this is the first and biggest piece of good news since you and Annie went abroad. I have to
celebrate treating my friends to dinner tonight. I have to collect their big red envelopes when the baby turns one month old, otherwise
all the red envelopes I've given out over the years will have been for nothing, haha." Liang Chen couldn't help but laugh heartily as he spoke.

Qin Xiaoyu punched her forehead a few times. Liang Chen was overly excited, and his excitement was undoubtedly pushing
things in an unpredictable direction. If this involves relatives and friends, and the truth comes out
, where will Liang Chen hide?

She increasingly felt that this plan was unworkable.

"Keep a low profile, or someone might accuse you of having a second child." What else could Qin Xiaoyu say?
What could she possibly object to?

"It's okay, don't worry. I heard the government is going to relax the two-child policy. By the time our baby is born, it should
be fine. Besides, a lot of people are having second children now. I work in the government, so I can pull some strings to get
the baby registered... Oh, I forgot, our baby will be an Australian citizen from birth,
so why bother with registration? You still need to try to please Robert. If he's bothered by your
pregnancy , you have to reason with him and appeal to his emotions. Shed a few tears if necessary; men
hate that. From what I can tell, he likes you a lot, so he won't refuse your request."

"Oh... okay," Qin Xiaoyu replied hesitantly, conveying to Liang Chen that she was thinking about how to
please Robert and get her and Liang Chen's child a precious Australian citizenship.

Actually, she felt sorry for Liang Chen: Silly boy, once Robert sees the child, you can't stop him from giving
the child Australian citizenship.

Their conversation was long and clearly divided for the first time.

Like two intersecting railway tracks due to pregnancy and childbirth.

At the end of the conversation, Liang Chen said, "Be good, take good care of yourself.
Sleep more when you're tired; remember how sleepy you were during your last pregnancy. Also, call
anytime you need anything; my phone is on 24/7."

Qin Xiaoyu said, "I recently met an elderly lady at church; she's very warm and kind. I guess
I'll be . It'll be good for practicing my English, and I can ask her for advice about pregnancy and childbirth. Especially
since their sermons make it seem like the world is full of love. I hung up; I feel anxious now, probably still confused about the pregnancy."
"Well, I need to call her and schedule a time to talk. Talking to her gives me a sense of peace."

After saying that, they each hung up.

Actually, Qin Xiaoyu really wanted to talk to Linda. She was unsure what to do. Perhaps she could find her direction from
a bunch of seemingly meaningless conversations. Linda's figure, especially in
the backlight, was like a bright guide, like a door open, with waiting nearby.
And she was so kind and approachable, as if she could forgive everything.

Qin Xiaoyu called Liu Hui first, asking if she had seen Linda recently. Liu Hui said
she went to their church at least twice a week to share life with them, talk about joys and sorrows, sing hymns, and truly
care for and bless everyone around her.

"That's wonderful," Qin Xiaoyu thought to herself. She felt that this was exactly the kind of life she was looking for.
So they agreed to go to their church together, since it was Tuesday.

Mark even drove to pick them up.

"He's a nice guy," Qin Xiaoyu said to Liu Hui, watching the car disappear into the distance.

"Yes, he's quite nice. Ever since he got that tenant to move out, ever since I cut off all
contact with the outside world, he's been getting nicer and nicer to me," Liu Hui said with a smile.

"I'm so happy for you."

"What's there to be happy about? He seems nice now, but what about ten years from now? I'll still be his free
nanny right? Sigh, I guess I'll just consider it like I've bought a citizenship in advance. Being nice to him makes my conscience feel better, but
I can't really say I have any feelings for him, just gratitude, I think."

Liu Hui's explanation was disheartening.

She knew clearly that her feelings for Robert went beyond gratitude. Really, it wasn't that simple.

The two entered the church, and Qin Xiaoyu found it strange that there was no cross, no
crucifix , not even a statue of the Virgin Mary; it looked like an ordinary chapel.

Linda was decorating something with flowers with a few other people.

"Oh, dear Qin, beautiful Qin, dear Liu, it's so good to see you all again!" She put down the flowers,
opened her arms wide, and walked over, giving them a warm hug.

"Let's go to the small meeting room to chat for a bit. I've asked them to take care of things here. Wait for me." She turned around,
greeted the other ninjas, and led them to a small room.

Linda poured everyone a glass of water and then asked with concern, "How have you been lately? Is there anything
you can share? Or is there anything I can help with?"

"No, no, she just wanted to join our activity later," Liu Hui said.

"That's wonderful! God always opens His merciful embrace, allowing us to become the best of sisters."
Linda took Qin Xiaoyu's hand and said gently.

Qin Xiaoyu hesitated, unsure how to bring up Linda's thoughts on pregnancy. Unexpectedly,
Liu Hui spoke first: "Linda, what should I do if my husband still insists I have a child for him?
This topic is really embarrassing."

Liu Hui used the word "embarrassed," and Qin Xiaoyu felt her English
was much better than the last time they met. Sometimes, even when Linda didn't understand, Liu Hui already did, demonstrating
the importance of everyday conversation.

"Children are gifts from God, and we cannot refuse them. If God gives us
the opportunity to bring a life into the world, then we must respect its arrival and have love and anticipation.
My darling, I bless you," Linda said gently to Liu Hui.

"But I'm not in good health... I have thalassemia, and I'm afraid the child will have problems. I mean,
if I'm lucky enough to have a child."

"Just leave everything to the Lord Jehovah's arrangement. If He wants to give you a child, He will
give it generously. If that life isn't strong enough, the Lord will make arrangements for you. Don't
worry ."

The Lord will make arrangements for you... Qin Xiaoyu watched Liu Hui gratefully holding Linda's hand, shaking it slightly.
She felt that, in that instant, she also had her own answer.

Yes, even if she did the worst possible disruption, if everything was already arranged, then her actions would
n't constitute an evil cause.

Chapter Thirty-Nine:

To confirm, Qin Xiaoyu deliberately Googled some information after arriving home. When she saw this
passage, she couldn't help but shudder, goosebumps rising all over her body. She touched her cheeks, then
silently walked to her study, arms crossed, found the Chinese version of the Bible Linda had given her, held it up,
placed her lips on the solemn black cross on the cover, closed her eyes, and kissed it for a long time, trying to find an outlet for
her inner guilt.

The passage read: Within the first few months of pregnancy, the embryo is still unstable. If sexual intercourse is performed,
extreme caution is needed, and activities should be gentle. Vigorous sexual intercourse can stimulate strong uterine contractions and cause miscarriage, especially
for women with a history of habitual miscarriage. According to clinical statistics,
the miscarriage rate for couples who have sexual intercourse within the first three months of pregnancy is about 30%.

30%. What a huge probability!

Putting down the Bible, she still felt cold all over. She

poured herself a very hot cup of water and drank it sip by sip, but felt nauseous and wanted to vomit.

She didn't want to think about that word, but she couldn't get around it.

Murder?

Yes, murder.

Qin Xiaoyu placed her index finger between her upper and lower teeth and bit down hard. When the pain became sharp,
she stopped, then looked at the indentation on her finger. Two tears rolled down her cheeks—just
two , no more. She thought: Perhaps this is the best way to escape and find relief.

To find such relief, she started taking
Annie to Liu Hui's house to play two hours before Robert got home from work, saying she had something to do and would be picking her up later. Liu Hui happily told Qin Xiaoyu to go ahead with her work, saying that it was
Friday night and the children could play a little longer, and it was fine even if Annie stayed at their house. Qin Xiaoyu thanked her.
Then she went home and tidied up her room. She changed the sheets and duvet cover, drew all
the curtains in the room, including the bedroom, and picked four or five roses from the garden. She tore off the petals and scattered them from the entryway down
the stairs, then into the bedroom, and finally into the bathroom. She poured the last handful of petals into the
bathtub lit a candle on each step of the stairs, intending to light it when Robert entered.
He was already naked, steaming in the hot water of the bathroom, eyes closed, waiting for the fragrance of flower petals and the flickering candlelight to guide him
to her, waiting for everything to happen in its proper order, leisurely and unhurriedly. Like flowers blooming in spring,
leaves falling in autumn, and trees withering in winter, it wouldn't violate the laws of nature.

Let it be a farewell ceremony.

Or a farewell to life, if that 30% chance comes true; or a farewell to his sex
life , if that 30% chance doesn't come true.

Qin Xiaoyu didn't know why she had chosen such a cruel method... to let her parents destroy their child in
the throes ... If Robert knew, he would understand how unforgivable this would be,
doing the cruelest thing in the world just to selfishly escape from a contradiction... She remembered Liu Hui
asking Linda worriedly what she would do if she became pregnant and had to make a life-or-death decision due to her health,
because she had encountered this problem when she gave birth to Meimei. Linda had held Liu Hui
's hand and said, "God chose us when we were in our mother's womb. Even as a fetus, we are a life,
not as the world says, unformed. Let the blood of innocent people not flow from the hands of us Christians. We will
pray for you; we will trust in the Lord and ask for His mercy and help."

And Robert, too, was a Christian.

Qin Xiaoyu felt increasingly like she was committing a crime.

She found the Bible again, held it to her chest, and
spoke in a disjointed voice, as if she weren't a believer: "Please forgive me, please decide, please forgive the evil in my heart. I just want
a better union with Robert T. I don't necessarily not want this child; from the bottom of my heart, I really, really want it.
I'm just afraid that T's existence will hurt everyone. So, whether or not we have T is entirely up to you. I only ask that
you forgive my evil thoughts as a mother. If there is to be punishment, please punish only me."

It turns out that having faith is like having a place for one's soul to rest; no matter what one endures, one can find refuge,
find self-release, and find self-redemption.

Qin Xiaoyu put down the Bible and began walking upstairs amidst the fallen petals. At this moment, she felt
much lighter, and even the anticipation of the upcoming pleasure with Robert had slowly overshadowed her initial
thought . Yes, this was also an opportunity to overcome the awkwardness with Robert, perhaps even their first and most
secret reunion as a family of three. Not everything is bloody; perhaps this was God giving them an opportunity? Qin Xiaoyu slowly
freed herself. She planned to go to Linda next week, start studying the Bible, and formally join their
group. She loved this kind of spiritual bond and redemption built on love.

Qin Xiaoyu went to the bathroom and carefully trimmed her already thick pubic hair. As she trimmed, she stroked her
lower abdomen, murmuring to herself: "Baby, you must be strong. Forgive your mother's weakness and retreat. Endure
your parents' abandonment. If you don't give up, we can still be together."

Once she thought this, Qin Xiaoyu's tears stopped flowing. Now, she suddenly felt as if
she were about to welcome a feast of love. Every part of her body was like a willow branch in spring, soft and
full of springtime vitality. Liang Chen, however, was a barren wasteland outside the spring light.

Robert went home. When she heard the door open, Qin Xiaoyu was already lying on her back in the bathtub
, a few scattered rose-red petals obscuring her snow-white skin. She placed a petal on her forehead
and gathered others around her inner thighs, letting the petals surround her fragrant stamen.

Unsurprisingly, Robert didn't even have time to drop his briefcase before he stepped through the petals,
following the dim candlelight, and came to Qin Xiaoyu.

Was he stunned?

Was he possessed?

Qin Xiaoyu opened her eyes, her pearly teeth gently biting her lower lip, staring at Robert without a word. When he leaned forward
slightly , she grabbed the end of his tie and pulled it forward little by little, watching him drop
his briefcase, see documents scatter on the floor, and see him frantically take off his coat.

When Robert's face was only twenty centimeters away from hers, she closed her eyes.

Robert, as expected, used his lips to pick up the petal from her forehead, crushed its fragrance with his teeth, and then fed
the sap to Qin Xiaoyu. They swallowed it together.

The world, without asking why, quietly indulged this couple, allowing them to forget all worldly
constraints and kiss passionately.

Qin Xiaoyu slowly rose, the water making her skin glow alluringly. Standing in the water, she sucked and nibbled at Robert
's lips while unbuttoning his shirt. Robert, too, was busy kissing her while
removing his lower garments… Finally, he embraced Qin Xiaoyu's
body . They slid into the hot water together, the ripples carrying away many petals.

"I…"

"Yes, I know." Before Robert could utter the words "I miss you," Qin Xiaoyu covered
his lips with her hand.

He lay back in the tub, and she nestled against his chest.

She sat up slightly, took his hand and placed it on her lower abdomen, looking at him meaningfully. She felt that his warmth and
pulse could surely reach her uterus. She really wanted to whisper everything in his ear, but she simply
guided his hand slowly downwards again.

"Thank you," he said, nibbling on her earlobe while stroking her smooth mound.

"Have you been angry?" Qin Xiaoyu asked.

"A little, but I'm angry at myself." "

Why?"

"Because of jealousy, but this jealousy has no reason. So I've been thinking about how to cool
down ."

"Yeah, you're so cold, I'm afraid to touch you."

"Really afraid to touch you?" Robert grabbed Qin Xiaoyu's playful hand.

"I'm afraid, look at me lying on top of you so properly, I don't know where to put my hands."

"You call this proper? You being naked is proper? You taking off my clothes is proper? You seducing me into the bathtub is
proper?" As he spoke, Robert turned over and his fingers went straight in, quickly flicking and lingering.

Qin Xiaoyu straightened her body, bit her lip, closed her eyes, and couldn't utter a word.

She thought: Deeper, deeper… the deeper you go, the closer you get to your child.

So she kept lifting and turning her hips, constantly changing positions to absorb his fingers; she was so impatient.
She desperately wanted to bring them closer.

But she couldn't reach him… Just as Qin
Xiaoyu and threw her onto the bed, leaving damp marks on the flyer.

He then scooped a petal from the bathtub, and like a bride wearing a red veil, he held the rose-red
petal, parted her legs, and gently pushed the petal inside… Just as they chewed and devoured each other
, they changed positions and continued to crush the fragrance.

"Why are you seducing me? Hmm?" Robert asked, thrusting.

"Why?"

"Why are you seducing me and not refusing me?"

"Why?"

The petal must have been crushed by his vigorous thrusting, just as Qin Xiaoyu could only let out
a sob from deep within her throat, a sharp wail, unable to even utter a word of "be gentle." She had completely
forgotten the purpose of her meticulously planned afternoon, forgotten the newly formed life within her, forgotten Annie,
forgotten Liang Chen, forgotten herself, forgotten the time, forgotten the place, even forgotten the soft, white
but damp bed beneath her… In her hazy consciousness, she only felt Robert pushing
her , from this infinitely low bed, to the infinitely high clouds, and then she waited
to be torn into thousands of pieces, scattering like petals, falling in a shower of color, shattering into pieces.

But suddenly she felt a congestion in her body, and just as he was about to withdraw,
a surge of heat erupted from within her, surging like a wave, completely pushing him out… The colorful petals did not arrive as expected; instead,
the clear spring beneath her was startled awake.

"Babe, baby..." Robert was clearly overjoyed. Taking advantage of the lingering heat
, he thrust in again, mingling with the gurgling flow, frantically pounding against her.

"No...no, no...be gentle..." Qin Xiaoyu's cries were completely drowned out. She
didn't have time to tell him everything; they simply collapsed together, letting themselves go.

Robert pressed down on Qin Xiaoyu.

After a long while, he whispered in her ear, "Youlshed my life."

Qin Xiaoyu kept her eyes closed. She contracted her body a few times, feeling a
warm sensation ... but it was too late. The seed he had planted inside her had already sprouted
... She contracted her lower abdomen a few more times, trying to find a slight pain, but there was nothing, nothing at all. She raised her arm,
gently wiping the sweat from Robert's forehead, and then placed a kiss on the tip of his nose.

She thought: perhaps God's will was so clear and benevolent; He didn't encourage a mother's inappropriate evil thoughts,
but simply wanted an excuse to reunite her and Robert, and in such a surging way…
or to give the three of them a chance to meet earlier in the soil of her maternal instincts.

Thinking this, Qin Xiaoyu finally recalled Liang Chen from her memory and silently said sorry.

She and he slightly shifted their positions, then almost simultaneously leaped up—the bed
was wet and cold, thanks to the water on their bodies and hair, which later became Qin Xiaoyu's mysterious source.

"I should have known better than to change the sheets," Qin Xiaoyu said as she pulled them away. "You surprised me so much, really," Robert said, kissing

Qin Xiaoyu's cheek through the gathered sheets . Actually, at that moment, the words "I love you" almost burst out, but he swallowed them back, because he seemed to see Liang Chen and her figures again, lost in the dense forest. Qin Xiaoyu gave him a shy glare and said, "How much stuff do I have to wash..." "There will probably be even more to wash later," Robert chuckled, a gust of wind stirring within him as he tried to dispel the image. For the next three to five days, Robert was unusually attentive, demanding intimacy almost every night. Qin Xiaoyu however, made excuses to avoid him, because she felt her body was gradually becoming dull and inexperienced. Robert 's kisses were pleasurable and imaginative, but they rarely aroused her desire. Worse still, one morning , as soon as she woke up, she felt nauseous and ran to the bathroom to dry heave. Robert asked her what was wrong, and she hurriedly claimed it was a stomachache. But how long could she hide it? Chapter Forty: Just as flowers cannot hide their blooming season, stars cannot hide the moon, and darkness inevitably holds a long night, the life within her womb was gradually revealing, even protesting, its existence to her. Every morning when Qin Xiaoyu washed up, she felt nauseous and began to feel lazy and sleepy. She couldn't stand greasy food, so she switched to cooking Western food for Annie and Robert. Robert was naturally pleased with this; he felt she had a desire to come closer to him, a desire to break the existing order of their lives. This change, seemingly simple, warmed Robert's heart, giving him a sense of belonging and mutual acceptance. However, plain porridge was always available. Liang Chen kept reminding her to drink more plain porridge to avoid greasy food, and to eat more fruit if she had a poor appetite. Every day, Qin Xiaoyu would take pictures of herself lazily lying in bed, drinking porridge, and eating fruit, sending them to Liang Chen to elicit his affection and maintain his distant yet real sense of happiness. Well, while doing these things, Qin Xiaoyu also felt a lot of reluctance and sometimes hated herself deep down, but the drama had already begun, and she had to maintain a balance to ultimately achieve her goal of immigrating. Should she tell him now that the child is Robert's, causing him to lose focus at work, make a scene here, then force her to have an abortion, and then the three of them return to Beijing, making all efforts and everything they've worked for go down the drain? Qin Xiaoyu had thought about this question at least ten times a day. Liang Chen asked if Robert knew she was pregnant, and she said no. Liang Chen said, "Let him think the child is his. That way he'll take good care of you. I don't mind him touching your belly and calling you 'son,' I don't mind him putting his ear to your belly to listen to the baby's movements. No matter what he does, it won't change the fact that the child is mine." Qin Xiaoyu was most afraid of hearing such irrefutable yet sharp words. She said, "Let me think about it. I still want to tell him the truth. Otherwise, after the child is born, he'll be furious and will regret it no matter what." The truth? Qin Xiaoyu felt that every word she uttered deserved a slap in the face. Although Robert certainly wouldn't be furious after the child was born, and might even be overjoyed and smoothly complete his...

The only concern regarding their contract was that he might be reluctant to let go of Qin Xiaoyu because of the child, but that was impossible.
Qin Xiaoyu would simply turn away; she wouldn't hurt Liang Chen again. She didn't want to be in a three-way relationship where she only deceived and
tormented Liang Chen—that wouldn't be fair. She wanted to inflict some pain on everyone, and then offer them some comfort, so that
they wouldn't harbor too much resentment. Happiness is sometimes a matter of balance. Like if you live in a thatched
hut and your friend also lives in a thatched hut, you won't feel poor or destitute, and you'll share the same
smiles . But if you live in a 200-square-meter high-rise while your friend has a villa with a yard and pool, then
your smiles will inevitably carry multiple meanings.

Therefore, she still needed to tell Robert as soon as possible; starting to torment him was also starting to test him. She wanted to
know if Robert would still care about her if she really was pregnant with Liang Chen's child, and she also wanted to know if
, after ruling out sexual factors, Robert's feelings would be almost gone. If love is truly
a rose , does he have the courage and magnanimity to hold it tightly...? That seems too cruel, especially to Robert.

But isn't it cruel to Liang Chen?

Balance. So balance is necessary.

Robert faces ten months of deception, though it's only a pretense; he'll
quickly find peace once the outcome is revealed. His pain stems primarily from the breakup, the separation from his mother and child, the loss of maternal love for his own
flesh and blood , and the breakdown of his family. Liang Chen also faces ten months of deception, but this is
the most unforgivable deception, destroying a man's self-esteem. Therefore, he hopes that the return of his wife and daughter, and the acquisition of Australian citizenship, will
alleviate this pain, maintain a facade of perfection, gain the envy of those around him, and fulfill the Chinese
understanding .

And so, Qin Xiaoyu, in this process, needs to tear herself apart—her love, her body
, and her very flesh and blood. She will be hated by them simultaneously, and loved and abandoned by them at the same time. So she even considered
giving birth, then escaping everything alone, fleeing to the Australian outback or the Northern Territory, living
illegally , without any identity, far from everyone, abandoning all love, and then fending for herself.

Therefore, Qin Xiaoyu was greedy for the time before this lie was fully revealed. At least for now, she could
enjoy Robert's kiss on the forehead before he woke up every day, enjoy the indulgence in his "Lazy cat, sleep well,"
enjoy his rush home every day, enjoy the tranquility of drinking tea and watching TV on the sofa after dinner, enjoy
the ambiguity and playfulness when they bathed together, enjoy his carefulness when he trimmed her hair with scissors, enjoy his
sleeping posture where he held her tightly at night… To indulge in this, Qin Xiaoyu had to deliberately stay in bed late, and only
go to the bathroom to dry heave after Robert went to work.

But she had to tell him.

Something that should have been joyful had become as heavy as a boulder because of balancing so many relationships.

She needed to give herself some strength and direction to do this.

Qin Xiaoyu was constantly anxious. Beautiful things are indeed delicate and fragile; even when you hold them in your hands, you're always
worried about them falling or being lost.

In the end, she took her Bible and went to see Linda with Liu Hui. She enjoyed the peace of
being , listening to her talk, listening to her roundabout explanations of her world, which reflected her own life.

That afternoon, when they arrived at Kingdomhal, Linda was already there with a dozen or so
people reading scripture. Qin Xiaoyu and Liu Hui sat near the entrance, choosing a Chinese book
with the day's scripture readings written on it.

"O Lord, you are good and willing to forgive." —Psalm 86:5 How
does the Lord forgive? The Bible says that the Lord "forgives" sinners, meaning He forgives
them . (Isaiah 55:7) How do we know that the Lord forgives completely? Look at Acts
3:19. The apostle Peter was speaking to the crowds, urging them to "repent and turn back." If sinners truly
repent, they will feel deep remorse for their sins and resolve not to repeat them. (2 Corinthians 7:10, 11)
Moreover , those who truly repent will "turn back," abandoning evil and doing what pleases God.
What will be the result if those who listen to Peter truly repent? Peter says their sins will be "wiped away." In Greek,
The word "erasure" refers to the act of removing writing. Jehovah forgives people,
erasing , completely forgiving them. (Hebrews 10:22; 1 John 1:7)

Qin Xiaoyu silently finished reading this passage, realizing with a start that she hadn't even turned away from her evil ways, nor
had she found the path to repentance. No wonder she sometimes felt life was an abyss; imagine, if love could
drag , let alone hate… Wasn't she caught between two men who loved her, about to unleash
a torrent of hatred?

Worried, Qin Xiaoyu felt the Bible's explanation of repentance was too easy, and forgiveness too readily available.

After the reading, Linda came over and warmly embraced Qin Xiaoyu and Liu Hui. She asked
why she hadn't seen them for the past week, handed each of them a copy of *Washington Post*, and then asked how they
were doing, specifically inquiring about Liu Hui's relationship with her husband.

Liu Hui said her ex-husband was bringing his son on a trip here and also wanted to celebrate her daughter Meimei's birthday. Her ex-husband
had only celebrated Meimei's birthday less than three times, so she said she was conflicted. Meimei would definitely be looking forward to it,
but she was afraid Mark would be angry if he found out, so she didn't know what to do.

Linda said the best thing to do was to be sincere and loyal, and that she could bring Mark along when meeting her ex-husband, being
open and honest.

Liu Hui worried that it would be awkward for the two men to meet. Linda said that wouldn't be the case; an ex-husband is an ex-husband,
a husband is a husband, and the child's father is the child's father. Mark should understand this very well. As Westerners,
they keep these distinctions very separate. As long as there's no hiding anything, everything will be fine.

Qin Xiaoyu added, "Exactly! You should ask Mark for his opinion first, and it's best to adopt his method. That way, there
won't be any secrets or problems."

Liu Hui said, "What you've said really makes things clear."

Linda then opened the booklet, referring to the English version, and showed Qin Xiaoyu and
Liu Hui "The Bible says: 'A married man is concerned with the things of the world, seeking to please his wife…A married
woman is concerned with the things of the world, seeking to please her husband.'"

Linda said that to make her husband happy, she had to consider his feelings; only then would the marriage be happy.

Consider his feelings?

Qin Xiaoyu felt a headache coming on. Considering one man was understandable; whatever she did was right.
But considering two men at the same time, and maintaining a balance between pain and joy, was so difficult.

However, she couldn't tell Linda, or even Liu Hui, about such a complicated matter. She couldn't. Because
deep down, she feared other people's opinions. She feared they would think she was
someone who would sell out love and marriage for some benefit, and she feared their contempt for Liang Chen's compromises for some gain. Yes,
this was caused by a person's fragile self-esteem.

While they were talking, Linda's colleague brought over a plate of egg tarts. Linda invited everyone to try them.
Qin Xiaoyu looked at the golden egg tarts and found them very appetizing. With her coffee, she took three bites in a row. Suddenly,
she felt nauseous and quickly got up to find the restroom, but after dry heaving three or four times, she seemed to feel better.

"What's wrong?" Liu Hui asked.

"What's wrong with you?" Linda quickly stood up as well.

"Nothing, nothing, I'm..." Qin Xiaoyu didn't know how to explain.

"Something's up?" Liu Hui asked slyly, "Last time your husband came... haha, right?"

"Not sure." Qin Xiaoyu didn't want to hide the truth; lies really shouldn't accumulate.

Liu Hui quickly turned to Linda and explained, "She is pregnant."
She turned an uncertain statement into a certain one.

Linda immediately reached out to congratulate Qin Xiaoyu.

Qin Xiaoyu carefully shook Linda's hand, feeling a
sense of fear of defiling someone... because if Linda knew whose child it was, and how complicated her
marital situation was, she would definitely sigh. Because Linda once said that if we do things condemned in the Bible,
our relationship with Jehovah God will be damaged… Of course, Linda also said that God will always uphold and hold everyone with
His right hand .

However, Qin Xiaoyu struggled to find that right hand of justice from God.

“Linda, if only some thinking writing, how can a nigh forgivingness from God
?” Qin Xiaoyu tried
to put together a sentence.

Linda said that God sacrificed His life and paid a ransom to wash away our sins;
as long as we sincerely repent for our sins, we can receive God's forgiveness. We must understand that when each of us makes a decision
, it's like a driver approaching a busy intersection. If he simply follows the car in front and rushes through
the intersection, it could cause a serious traffic accident. A wise driver will first slow down, assess
the traffic situation at the intersection, and then continue. Similarly, before making a decision about something, we must
weigh the pros and cons and carefully examine the principles of the Bible.

Weighing the pros and cons.

Qin Xiaoyu smiled and thanked Linda.

"What bad thing did you do, hmm?" Liu Hui asked with a grin.

Qin Xiaoyu pondered for a moment and said, "I actually thought about not having this child. Is that a bad thing?
It seems like having bad thoughts is considered doing something bad?"

"My God, how could you have such an absurd thought? There's no family planning here, and the child is
a gift from God to you. You two have such a good relationship; you've only been here for two months, and he flew to see you. This is
the fruit of your love, silly girl." After saying this, Liu Hui turned to Linda and briefly explained that Qin Xiaoyu was still hesitant about whether to have
the child .

Linda, upon hearing this, became anxious and rattled off a long string of words. Qin Xiaoyu only caught her
repeated insistence on loving children and loving life. Then, she pulled out a Bible in both Chinese and English and painstakingly found
the sentence, "Your eyes saw me when I was still an embryo." She explained that this was
a statement King David made to Jesus, meaning that even an embryo is already life, and we cannot disrespect life or arbitrarily
take it away.

Qin Xiaoyu quickly explained that she was just hesitant and didn't really think that way.

Linda was relieved and repeatedly emphasized that she should come to her if there were any problems, and that she should be a happy
mother. She said that although three states in Australia had removed abortion from their criminal laws, allowing women
to have abortions within 16 weeks of pregnancy, and requiring the consent of two doctors for abortions after 20 weeks, she, as a Christian,
still opposed abortion because it contradicted biblical principles.

Qin Xiaoyu nodded repeatedly.

Back home, Qin Xiaoyu realized that since becoming pregnant, she had never
seriously considered not having the child. This realization startled her. Imagine if
Liang Chen were the father—what would she do? She would almost certainly persuade him not to have the child.
She would find countless reasons, perhaps because her love for him wasn't strong enough to warrant another child
… It was precisely because the child wasn't Liang Chen's that she readily accepted his suggestion—to give birth.
Yes, deep down, when Robert was physically assaulting her while asking her to have his child
, her heart had already softened completely.

However, Qin Xiaoyu knew her relationship with Robert wouldn't last, so she wanted to be
the irreplaceable one in his life, even though she had never truly confronted this desire or analyzed whether it was right…
But her intuition told her that the simplest and most direct way to maintain this uniqueness was to be
the mother of his child.

For this stubborn belief, she was prepared to hurt everyone.

I'm sorry.

Qin Xiaoyu said this to Liang Chen and Robert in her heart. Although she hadn't found a way to atone for her sins yet,
she was willing to pay the price with her life, truly. So, she thought she should talk to Robert that night and
start using Robert's pain to comfort herself for deceiving Liang Chen.

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