Even a broken heart is filled with sorrow: Should I get a divorce?

page views:1 Publication date:2023-09-06

A wife cheated on her husband and, after being caught in the act, developed symptoms of depression. Unable to bear the humiliation, the husband filed for divorce, and in despair, she chose suicide. This choice suddenly thrust the husband into a dilemma: forgiveness or destruction? Forgiveness or revenge? At the crossroads of their marriage, what should he do…?
Two weeks before his wife's infidelity, I was at work when the phone rang. A woman's shrill voice said, “Are you Lin Jiawei? Come to the budget hotel on Wenhe Road immediately and see what your wife has done.”
I rushed there in a panic. The most disgusting scene had already passed, but I learned the general outline from the onlookers. Su Yan and a man checked into the hotel, but the man's wife followed them and caught her naked in bed. Even more dramatic, the man who had the affair with Su Yan, after a moment of panic, immediately distanced himself from her, claiming he was innocently seduced. Finally, to prove his loyalty to his wife and atone for his crime, he even joined his wife in beating Su Yan. If the police hadn't arrived in time, the consequences would have been unimaginable.
The onlookers were buzzing with gossip. My heart felt like it was on fire; I wanted to disappear into the ground. Thankfully, these onlookers didn't know I was the husband of that shameless woman. But how could such a scandal be hidden?
The next day, I went to work as if nothing had happened, but when I saw the pitying yet evasive looks in my colleagues' eyes, I completely broke down. Overnight, everyone knew about Su Yan's shameful affair. That whole day, I felt like a clown dancing on a knife's edge, every step requiring immense effort. By the time I finished work, I collapsed into my seat.
There was no news from Su Yan; I'd rather she were dead.
But this shameless woman wasn't dead. A few days later, my in-laws came. I knew what they wanted to say, but I didn't want to hear a word.
"Divorce." Since the incident, those two words had been constantly on my mind. If I weren't so exhausted and unable to concentrate, I would have already written the divorce papers.
My in-laws left, their faces flushed. I forced myself to go to my parents' house, and as soon as I entered, I saw my son sitting blankly at his desk, his eyes red.
My mother secretly told me that news of Su Yan's affair had reached the school, and my son had become the target of ridicule. Hearing this, my heart felt like it was being cut by a knife. My innocent, poor son, so young, had to endure such humiliation with that shameless woman. Looking at my son, I hated Su Yan even more.
Back home, I worked through the night to draft a divorce agreement, and later consulted a lawyer. If Su Yan didn't agree to the divorce, we would see each other in court.
Twelve days after the incident, I saw Su Yan for the first time. In less than half a month, the once beautiful woman had become completely emaciated. When she saw me, a hint of surprise flashed in Su Yan's eyes. However, faced with my cold words, that surprise quickly faded.
I coldly pushed the drafted divorce agreement towards her. After reading only the beginning, Su Yan began to sob. I was incredibly impatient and urged her to sign the papers quickly, but she kept her head down, offering no response other than tears. Finally, I lost my patience and blurted out, "The house was bought by my parents before the marriage, and it's absolutely not for you. You can have whatever you want in that house except for it."
Su Yan stammered for a long time, then looked up with tears in her eyes, "Then, our son..."
I was almost speechless with anger. What was Su Yan thinking? A son? Did she know she had a son now? Didn't she consider what a disgraced mother meant to a seven-year-old child?
I was merciless: "Don't even think about having a son. He still needs to live with dignity; you don't have that right."
Su Yan covered her face with her hands, her emotions instantly spiraling out of control. Seeing her like this, I knew that today's negotiation was doomed. Fine, the divorce was a done deal anyway; if I didn't sign today, there was always tomorrow. So I stormed off.
The
next morning, as soon as I woke up, Su Yan's parents arrived.
As soon as I entered, they collapsed to the floor, sobbing, "Jiawei, please, please don't divorce Su Yan..."
I was shocked and quickly pulled the two elderly people up. At that moment, seven-year-old Chenchen ran out of the bedroom. Su Yan's parents saw him as if he were their lifeline: "Chenchen, quickly beg your dad not to divorce your mom..."
I was somewhat annoyed. What kind of parents-in-law were they acting like this!
I pulled my son over and said with a stern face, "Do you think I can continue living with Su Yan like this?"
My mother-in-law froze for a moment, a chaotic shame flashing across her face, but she quickly burst into tears: "I know this is a bit difficult for you, but, Jiawei, we really have no other choice. Because you brought up divorce, last night, Xiaoyan... she almost committed suicide."
Su Yan wanted to commit suicide?
My father-in-law wiped away his tears and continued, "Luckily we found out early and saved her. Otherwise..."
The two elderly people couldn't speak properly and squatted in the living room, crying their hearts out. I felt like I'd been hit with a stick, and I slumped back onto the sofa. What sins did I commit in
my past life to meet such a woman? Not only did she subject me to endless humiliation, but she also wanted me to be the culprit who drove her to suicide! Looking at my parents-in-law kneeling on the floor, tears streaming down their faces, a wave of fear washed over me: If Su Yan had really died last night, how much would these two elderly people, who had always cherished her like a precious jewel, hate me?
This fact once again proved that Su Yan was an extremely selfish and irresponsible woman. Not only did she not understand responsibility towards me and our child, but she also lacked any parental love.
And yet, I had lived with this woman for a full ten years.
In those ten years of marriage, I couldn't say how good Su Yan was, nor could I say how bad she was. Like any other couple, we had conflicts, arguments, and also moments of joy and happiness. I admit that after our son was born, my feelings for Su Yan cooled a bit, but it wasn't my fault at all. Our son had been living with his grandparents since birth. My in-laws worry and work hard for the child. Most daughters-in-law would be grateful, but Su Yan is always dissatisfied: one minute she complains that my parents don't understand scientific parenting, the next she accuses my grandparents of spoiling their grandson. At first, she just nagged, but later she openly challenged my in-laws. Once, just because my mother made Chenchen's formula a little cold, Su Yan flew into a rage and made a scene. I was so angry I slapped her. From then on, Su Yan harbored resentment towards me, bringing it up every now and then, which really annoyed me.
After Chenchen started kindergarten, Su Yan insisted that my parents not pick him up. I was busy with work and couldn't find the time, so she shuttled between work and kindergarten herself. If she could really take on this responsibility, it would be understandable, but she's so forgetful that she often forgets to pick him up. The most infuriating time was when Su Yan went shopping with her colleagues until 7 pm, only to realize her son was still at kindergarten when she got home with bags of groceries. I was absolutely furious. After picking my son up, I immediately took him to my parents' house and announced that they would be responsible for picking him up and dropping him off from then on. My parents were overjoyed, but Su Yan was furious. However, no matter what she said, I would n't budge.
This only fueled Su Yan's resentment towards me. I didn't take this resentment to heart. But unexpectedly, it made her harbor ulterior motives.
If our affair hadn't been exposed, I don't know how long I would have had to wear that green hat.
But this damned woman, even so, seemed unwilling to let me go. Otherwise, why would she threaten suicide to respond to my resolute stance?
But would that make me soften and compromise? No way! I insisted on a divorce, and my in-laws were at a loss. However, they still pleaded with me to wait until Su Yan calmed down before separating. After
my in-laws left, my son timidly tugged at my clothes: "Dad, is what Grandma said true?"
I hugged my son tightly. How could I tell my child this answer?
My silence only confirmed the truth for my son, and he burst into tears: "Dad, no! I don't want you to divorce Mom... Waaah, I don't want Mom to die either."
I hugged my son tightly, tears streaming down my face. After the divorce, my son would no longer have a mother, and I, as his father, completely understood his sadness and fear. However, this was not a reason for me to forgive Su Yan.
Due to my in-laws' pleas, I postponed the divorce proceedings. A month passed quickly, and
I was suffering from severe depression
. Although I hadn't received the divorce certificate yet, everyone understood my stance. An older colleague in the office even mentioned that her cousin, a single woman in her late thirties, felt sympathetic after hearing my situation and was willing to date me after my divorce.
Hearing her words, I felt a little embarrassed, yet also a strange impulse. These past years of being married, despite countless disappointments, I had never considered starting another relationship. Back then, I always felt that whoever I was with was for life. But now, Su Yan's infidelity suddenly made me see that life actually had another possibility.
When the weekend came, I mentioned it to my parents. My mother was very interested, pressing me for details about the girl's age and occupation, which I answered one by one. Turning around, I was shocked to see my son staring intently at me. He had clearly overheard our conversation. A little embarrassed, I quickly changed the subject. Even so, my son ate very little that meal. After dinner, we went home. Halfway there, my son was silent, then suddenly asked, "Dad, do you really not want Mom anymore?"
I looked down at him. In the dark night, his eyes glistened, trembling with tears. My heart tightened, and I quickly reached out to wipe away his tears. But he stubbornly turned his head away and suddenly ran off like a little colt down the deserted street.
When I finally caught up with him, breathless, he had already locked himself in his room.
Looking at that closed door, I felt a mix of emotions. Divorce might be easy, but my son's feelings…
Another two weeks passed. My colleague at the office kept asking about the progress of the divorce. I also felt it had dragged on long enough, so I went to see Su Yan again.
Her parents' house was locked. I asked the neighbors and learned that her parents had taken Su Yan to see a psychologist. After her suicide attempt, Su Yan had developed depressive tendencies. To be honest, this news shocked me.
I heard from a neighbor that I had visited Su Yan, and that very evening, my father-in-law came to see me.
He talked for a long time about Su Yan's situation, saying she was showing signs of severe depression and couldn't withstand any further stimulation. He ultimately begged me not to mention divorce for now.
I was a little anxious and didn't speak very politely: "If Su Yan never gets better, does that mean I have to spend my whole life with her?"
My father-in-law cried again: "After all this, Su Yan's mother and I are certain you're a kind child. Alas, Su Yan was too foolish, believing all his sweet talk..."
From my father-in-law, I finally learned the truth about Su Yan's relationship with that man. They had hooked up through WeChat. That scumbag was a master of seduction, adept at picking up women, showering her with attention and care. The foolish Su Yan actually thought she had finally met someone who truly understood her, and unwittingly fell into his trap. After the incident, Su Yan discovered that the man's name and workplace were fake, a fact that dealt her a devastating blow.
The angel who had redeemed her emotions had transformed into a treacherous demon; even more devastating was the fact that the scandal became public knowledge overnight, leaving the always proud Su Yan feeling utterly ashamed.
Hearing this, I suddenly understood why Su Yan had attempted suicide. If my son and I also left her, she would be completely alone. With such a bleak future, what reason or courage would she have to live?
I didn't forgive Su Yan, but my conscience prevented me from refusing my father-in-law's request.
And so, the divorce was put on hold once again.
Love died, but should old feelings and kindness still have a place?
Two months passed, and it was Chenchen's birthday. I picked my son up from school to go to his mother's. As soon as I stepped out of the school gate, I was shocked to see Su Yan.
In the months since I'd seen her, Su Yan had become like a ghost, her face pale as she huddled under a large tree, clutching a huge electric toy car.
Seeing his mother, Chenchen's eyes lit up with a moment of wild joy. But as he ran towards her, a child behind him suddenly shouted, "Lin Chenchen, is this your mom?"
His son stopped abruptly. Su Yan, unable to control her emotions, rushed towards her son, crying. Under the watchful eyes of everyone, Chenchen, his face flushed, shoved her away and ran off.
"Chenchen, Chenchen..." Su Yan cried, chasing after her child. One of her sandals fell off as she crossed the road, drawing stares from the parents picking up their children, as if watching a TV drama. I felt both ashamed and angry. I picked up Su Yan's shoe from the ground and chased after her.
Su Yan couldn't catch Chenchen.
Watching her son's retreating figure, Su Yan collapsed to the ground, still clutching her electric toy car tightly. Looking at her, my heart churned. For a fleeting moment, I felt a pang of pity for her. The Su Yan of the past was such a strong woman, but now, seeing her fallen into the dust, disheveled and desperate, like a withered flower ravaged by a storm, not a trace of her former self could be found.
But who's to blame? It's all her own fault.
Thinking this, my heart hardened again. I tossed her the sandals and turned to leave.
"Wait," Su Yan called softly. I turned back. She struggled to her feet and handed me the electric toy car: "Please give this to Chenchen. Tell him... tell him that Mommy has always loved him."
I didn't want to take the toy car, but looking at Su Yan, my heart softened again.
"Don't worry, I won't bother you and your son anymore. I'll sign the divorce papers in the next few days." Su Yan gave me a sad look, then turned and left.
"Hey, the shoes..." I pointed to the sandals on the ground. Su Yan glanced back at the shoes with a blank look, shook her head, said nothing, then straightened her back, barefoot and covered in dirt, and walked away.
A bad feeling flashed through my mind.
After thinking it over, I called my father-in-law.
As it turned out, my premonition was correct. That day, Su Yan didn't go home; instead, she went straight to an overpass.
After rescuing Su Yan again, my father-in-law completely broke down. He gripped my hand, choking back tears, unable to speak. Looking at his full head of white hair, I was overwhelmed with mixed emotions.
Witnessing Su Yan brush with death firsthand, I felt a profound shock for the first time. Wang Xiaobo once said, "Being indifferent to violent death is not in my nature." Although Su Yan didn't die, I still couldn't bear to think about what would have happened if that phone call hadn't been made. How would
I have faced everything today? I've thought a lot these past few days. Yes, Su Yan certainly has many flaws, and her affair is unforgivable, but when I first met her, she was a bright and beautiful woman. Ten years of marriage have turned Su Yan into what she is now. Is it solely her fault? After the affair was exposed, I pulled up scattered chat logs between Su Yan and that scumbag on my computer, filled with Su Yan's grievances against me. If I hadn't ignored it, but instead tried to guide and comfort her, perhaps Su Yan wouldn't have been taken advantage of.
Thinking about it this way, the image of her walking away barefoot, one foot in each step, inexplicably flashed before my eyes again, and tears unexpectedly welled up.
Even her beloved son rejected her; Su Yan's despair was understandable, her heart broken. Although her father-in-law had temporarily saved her, for a woman whose heart was already dead, what day wouldn't be the end?
I remembered her father-in-law's plea: "Can Chenchen call his mother?"
Could he?
Perhaps.
That night, Chenchen and I talked for a long time, and finally, he picked up the phone. Hearing him softly call for his mother from the balcony, my nose stung, and tears streamed down my face again.
Every life has its own ending and conclusion. Regardless of what the future holds for Su Yan and me, one thing I will always remember is that even if the walled city of marriage is now desolate, it should still retain a place for kindness and the past.

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Even a broken heart is filled with sorrow: Should I get a divorce?

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