[Clearing the Clouds to Reveal the Sun] 05

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

Author: Spring's Hope
Published on the forum on 2016/9/20
Word Count: 3324
05 On the Edge of Losing Control
"Stop talking, stop talking, I beg you, Mom, please stop talking, please stop talking, sob sob sob." Qin
Dawei cried like a child, regret and anger burning his sensitive heart, the pain almost suffocating him.
At this moment, he only wanted to take out a knife, chop those sixteen scumbags into pieces, boil them into a pot of soup, and
swallow them whole, skin and bones.
At this moment, Qin Dawei completely forgave his mother in his heart, and felt deep self-blame and hatred. He
hated himself for being so useless. When his mother needed him most, he had no ability to protect
her. After learning that his mother was involved in prostitution, he indiscriminately accused her and fantasized about her.
What difference was there between his seemingly ridiculous actions and those beasts who had caused his mother so much trauma?
Boundless hatred overwhelmed Qin Dawei's heart. At this moment, he wished that fire rained down from the sky and burned away
this sinful world. He couldn't bear to think about the humiliation his mother had suffered. Even the slightest thought of it
made his heart feel like it was being burned through, and he wished he could die immediately.
After recounting this painful past through tears, it felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her heart
. This secret had been hidden for far too long, its weight too heavy. Now, finally sharing it with
her son, though the heartache made it hard to breathe, brought an indescribable sense of relief. Yang Yufen gradually
came to her senses, looking lovingly down at her son who was crying his eyes out. Knowing he was heartbroken for her,
a wave of tenderness washed over her. She gently stroked his head and said softly with a bitter smile, "Dawei, Mom knew you would find out about
what I'm doing sooner or later, but I really didn't expect you to find out so soon. If possible, I truly wish
you would never know, and that you would live happily ever after. As long as you're happy, Mom is content."
"Mom!" Qin Dawei called out, his voice choked with emotion.
Yang Yufen gently wiped away the tears on her son's cheeks with her fingers, then said, "Dawei, Mom only
has one hope now: that you study hard, get into a good university, and then study abroad.
That way, you'll make something of yourself, bring honor to our family, and even if I die, I can die in peace."
Qin Dawei shook his head frantically upon hearing his mother's words, shouting, "No! I won't go to university, I won't
study abroad, I won't go anywhere! I'll stay home and stay with you! Waaah! If anyone dares to bully you again, I'll
kill them with my life!" As he finished speaking, his face was filled with murderous intent, his eyes wide open, his gaze as fierce as a
wild beast protecting its cubs.
"Don't talk nonsense," Yang Yufen hurriedly interrupted her son. "You must study hard and
find a good future. You are all my hope, and I won't allow you to give up halfway."
Qin Dawei looked up blankly, staring at his mother's earnest expression, and shook his head bitterly, saying anxiously:
"No, I can't let you do that kind of thing anymore. I can't take it, I really can't take it. Mom, I
love you, I love you more than anyone else in this world. I really can't accept you doing that kind of thing again, I can't bear
it!"
Hearing her son's genuine emotions, Yang Yufen was deeply moved and nodded repeatedly, saying
, "I know, I know, Dawei, Mom promises you, I'll never do that again, never again." As
she spoke, she subconsciously pulled her son's tear-streaked face into her arms, resting it on her high breasts
. This was her favorite affectionate gesture towards her son, originating from a casual
remark he made when he was young, saying that his mother's chest was soft and comfortable to rest on. So later, Yang Yufen often used her breasts as a cushion
for her son to lean on, until she later discovered that her son was masturbating with her underwear, and this affectionate gesture was forcibly
stopped by her.
Feeling the softness and fullness of his mother's breasts, Qin Dawei, filled with grief and indignation, felt no lust whatsoever. Having
learned of his mother's selfless sacrifice, he had no reason to justify any beastly act. Even the thought of it
felt like a desecration of maternal love. Although his mother engaged in the most degrading work, her heart
was purer and nobler than anyone else's. He recalled the time he stole his mother's underwear to masturbate,
shortly after she began working in the sex trade. He had not only failed to understand his mother's suffering but had also caused her more
distress; he was utterly despicable.
Thinking of his despicable actions, Qin Dawei was overcome with rage and slapped himself twice hard across the face
. The slaps were delivered with all his might, making him see stars and instantly swelling one cheek,
startling Yang Yufen.
"What are you doing?" Yang Yufen hugged her son tightly, her heart aching, and lovingly stroked his swollen cheek
. She scolded him tenderly, "Mom isn't blaming you, don't be like this."
Qin Dawei didn't know how to explain, and could only choke out with deep regret and remorse, "But I just
can't forgive myself. I'm sorry, Mom."
Yang Yufen looked at her son with affection, shaking her head and sighing, "Silly child, you didn't do anything wrong, why are you
apologizing? It should be Mom saying sorry. And I should thank you for forgiving me. You know, tonight
when I saw you leave without looking back, I felt like dying."
Hearing this, Qin Dawei felt a lingering fear. If it weren't for... He couldn't help but glance back. If he hadn't
rushed out in time, tonight might have been their final farewell. Recalling that terrifying moment, he
broke out in a cold sweat and quickly hugged his mother, pleading, "Mom, promise me, never leave me,
okay? Please."
Feeling her son's reluctance to part, Yang Yufen's gloom vanished. She nodded heavily
. Seeing her son's still reluctant and fearful expression, she knew he was probably still shaken by what had happened. She gently stroked
his head and jokingly said, "Dawei, don't be so clingy now. When
you get a wife, you'll probably find me annoying."
"No way, I only love Mom," Qin Dawei blurted out without thinking.
Hearing this, Yang Yufen froze, then blushed. She couldn't help but think of her son stealing her underwear.
The incident of her son masturbating with her underwear occurred shortly after she entered the sex industry, when she was under immense psychological pressure.
She was both disappointed and heartbroken when she accidentally
discovered him doing so. She then berated him mercilessly. From that moment on, she dared not be overly intimate with her son, and he seemed to be frightened as well. He became
very serious and proper around her, creating a sense of estrangement between them. She couldn't remember the last time she heard her son say he liked
his mother.
Hearing those heartwarming words again, Yang Yufen suddenly felt a lump in her throat, her nose tingling with emotion
, and she almost cried. She managed to suppress the surge of love within her and replied with tender affection, "Silly son, Mom loves
you too."
Hearing his mother's words, Qin Dawei felt as if he had returned to his childhood. Back then, he would always cling to his mother, seeking hugs
and caresses. The two were inseparable, filled with indescribable happiness and contentment. But as he grew older, that feeling
faded. Although he had always felt resentful, he understood that this was the price of growing up.
However, unexpectedly, after a fierce emotional conflict, he miraculously rediscovered
that lost happiness and contentment in his mother's arms.
Lying on his mother's full thighs, he quietly savored this long-lost intimacy. This feeling was truly precious
; perhaps after today, he would never experience it again in his life.
"Mom, I love the feeling of lying on your lap like this. It's so warm and comfortable." Qin Dawei finally
couldn't contain his excitement and whispered his thoughts to himself. Although
he preferred lying on his mother's chest, his head resting on her soft, full breasts, he was no longer a
child, and some things, once gone, could never be retrieved.
Although her son's voice was soft, Yang Yufen heard every word. A look of
gratified joy appeared on her face. Her eighteen-year-old son seemed to have transformed into that mischievous and adorable little boy. A strong
maternal desire surged within her. Her son longed for the joyful times of his childhood,
and how could his weary mother not also yearn for those carefree days?
"You've always been clingy to your mother since you were little, I didn't expect you to still be like this now that you're grown up," Yang Yufen looked at
her son with affection, lovingly stroking his short hair, and smiled, "Oh well, what can I do? I'm your mother. If
you like, I'll let you lie like this in the future, okay?"
"Okay, thank you, Mom," Qin Dawei said with surprise. His mother's reaction was completely unexpected
. He had always thought that after the masturbation incident, he and his mother could never go back to the way things were. For this reason,
he had regretted his impulsiveness many times over the years. So he never expected his mother to agree to his intimacy
. But to his utter surprise, his mother actually agreed to his seemingly inappropriate request.
Seeing the joy on her son's face, Yang Yufen, who had initially felt a little shy after speaking, also felt a
surge of joy. In the past two years, Yang Yufen had secretly reflected on
whether she had been too harsh in handling her son's masturbation incident. Although the conflict between mother and son ended in her victory, the price was
an irreparable rift between them. Her son, out of guilt and a sense of awe, distanced himself from her, leaving her both
regretful and helpless. However, at the time, she did not think she was wrong. Her son's use of his mother's underwear to masturbate was undoubtedly a desecration of maternal love and a harbinger of incest. In Yang Yufen's view at the time, this was 　　a fundamental error that
could not be tolerated . 　　However, after working in the sex trade for several years, Yang Yufen's mentality underwent a profound 　　change. After encountering all sorts of people and various previously unheard-of secrets, she discovered that what she once considered 　　to be incestuous mother-son relations, contrary to human ethics, was not an occasional social vice as she had always thought, but rather 　　a stubborn, malignant tumor rooted in the dark side of society. Especially in the prostitution industry, although not common, 　　it was not uncommon. Most prostitutes with sons had been taken advantage of by their sons to some extent 　　. Kissing and touching breasts were nothing to mention; oral sex and masturbation were the norm, and many crossed the line. 　　Among them, the pair she was most familiar with was Hei Zi and his mother.

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